More shark, less snark

October 10, 2008 10:18 AM

Shark Virgin Birth!Praise Jawsus! (punchline stolen from Halcyon) Meanwhile, in Dubai, they're so rich they can focus their attention on Sammy the Shark, and a museum in Hawaii is trying to dispel fears raised by recent shark sightings with an exhibition titled "Megalodon: Largest Shark That Ever Lived". And if you always wanted a shark of your own, contact Big Al. Just remember the words of Alby Singer.
posted by wendell (12 comments total)

Shark Jesus, huh? Yeah, I think we can find space for him in the aquatic apocalypse pantheon.
posted by FatherDagon at 10:33 AM on October 10, 2008

I did not know a shark baby was called a "pup." Thank you for adding to my secret cache of Jeopardy answers.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 10:36 AM on October 10, 2008

trying to dispel fears raised by recent shark sightings with an exhibition titled "Megalodon: Largest Shark That Ever Lived"

FAIL
posted by DU at 10:43 AM on October 10, 2008

"How are little sharkies made?"
That what little Marky said.
His mother did not know what to say
After the virgin birth today.
She heard once of a komodo dragon
Who managed offspring without shaggin,'
And then it's said that the birth of bees is
Parthenogenesis, just like Jesus;
And you know the water flea
Has virgin births, just like the bee.
This raises questions theological,
But Marky's mother, ever logical,
Suggested to her little Mark
To pray to God, insect, and shark.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:48 AM on October 10, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Why is it I suspect there is some aquarium keeper who's not talking?
posted by Pollomacho at 11:02 AM on October 10, 2008

And Jesus shark spoke to his brethren: "Live every week like it's shark week!"
posted by noriyori at 11:06 AM on October 10, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Christianity jumps the shark.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:08 AM on October 10, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

wasn't it Alvy?
posted by shmegegge at 11:22 AM on October 10, 2008

There should be a musical about this...
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:25 AM on October 10, 2008

You're gonna need a bigger cross.
posted by nthdegx at 11:43 AM on October 10, 2008 [5 favorites has favorites]

Chew unto others as you would have them chew unto you.
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:18 PM on October 10, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

It will only be a Jesus shark if it raises itself from its stillborn state.
posted by oneironaut at 1:31 PM on October 10, 2008