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Minims
November 26, 2008 2:32 PM   Subscribe

minim ['mInIm] n: a statement expressed in proverbial or sentential form but having no general application or practical use whatever β€” compare MAXIM. [via]
posted by parudox (93 comments total) 34 users marked this as a favorite

 
Wherever you go, there you are.
posted by blue_beetle at 2:39 PM on November 26, 2008 [2 favorites]


Of all the comments I've made previously, this is by far the most recent.
posted by blue_beetle at 2:40 PM on November 26, 2008 [5 favorites]


Don't stick crowbars up your nose.

Am I doing this right?
posted by Caduceus at 2:41 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


That's what she said.
posted by GuyZero at 2:47 PM on November 26, 2008


The New Statesman once ran a competition for proverbs similar to this. The title of the resultant collection, I believe, was An Owl In A Sack Troubles No Man.
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 2:48 PM on November 26, 2008 [7 favorites]


This is the last time you will ever experience this moment.
posted by CynicalKnight at 2:48 PM on November 26, 2008


A bird in the hand is worth whatever the going rate is for that particular species of bird.
posted by MrVisible at 2:49 PM on November 26, 2008 [8 favorites]


Once bitten, bitten once
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 2:54 PM on November 26, 2008 [4 favorites]


I was given a copy of the book as a Christmas present when I was thirteen or fourteen years old: I loved it, and have long used a few minims as though they were folk-wisdom of immemorial origin.
posted by misteraitch at 2:58 PM on November 26, 2008


whereever you've gone, there you went.

* nods

posted by boo_radley at 3:02 PM on November 26, 2008


Yogi Berra quotes.
posted by zoinks at 3:03 PM on November 26, 2008


A sleeping dog, if left undisturbed, will continue sleeping.
posted by JimmyJames at 3:03 PM on November 26, 2008


Necessity is the mother of Joseph Rodriguez.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 3:04 PM on November 26, 2008


Brown dog got ass hairs, too.
posted by dersins at 3:06 PM on November 26, 2008


In the garden, growth has it seasons. First comes spring and summer, but then we have fall and winter. And then we get spring and summer again.
As long as the roots are not severed, all is well. And all will be well in the garden.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 3:06 PM on November 26, 2008 [4 favorites]


A bird in the hand is worth $.99 per pound this year, on average, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates. But killing two with one stone is probably a small game or upland birds hunting violation, regardless of how early it got up or how many worms it ate, although local regulations vary.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:07 PM on November 26, 2008 [2 favorites]


Nobody ever went broke by underestimating the amount of money they had.
posted by George_Spiggott at 3:08 PM on November 26, 2008 [3 favorites]


Also, birds of a feather should be plucked, gutted, cleaned thoroughly, and brined for at least six hours before roasting.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:13 PM on November 26, 2008


If you think you know what's going on, you're part of the problem.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 3:17 PM on November 26, 2008 [4 favorites]


A bird in the hand is like a man in the sand.
posted by phirleh at 3:21 PM on November 26, 2008


A prayer and a dollar twenty five gets you a cup of coffee.
posted by autodidact at 3:21 PM on November 26, 2008


Hat.
posted by ageispolis at 3:22 PM on November 26, 2008 [2 favorites]


A kitten dies every time a kitten's heart stops beating.
posted by localhuman at 3:24 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Three quick lefts make a right.
posted by BeerFilter at 3:28 PM on November 26, 2008 [2 favorites]


It is better to have loved and lost a souffle.
posted by terranova at 3:29 PM on November 26, 2008


game warden to the events rhino: The New Statesman once ran a competition for proverbs similar to this.

My favorite from that was something like, "The can opener only circles the can once."
posted by normy at 3:33 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


a point is the shortest dimension of a straight line
posted by doobiedoo at 3:36 PM on November 26, 2008


In the end, the thing is finished.
posted by sonic meat machine at 3:37 PM on November 26, 2008


This post is what it is.
posted by Joe Beese at 3:38 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


There are two kinds of people in the world, so save your money.
posted by StickyCarpet at 3:42 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


So, this one time I was on the subway and I overheard a conversation between two guys and a girl. Apparently, they just had a BBQ and something went awry.

GUY 1: Somebody stole the hamburgers.

The girl was perplexed. The other guy seemed like he wasn't really paying attention.

GIRL: Whattaya mean someone stole the hamburgers?

GUY 1: Y'know how we used the frozen patties, right? Well, when I went to get one from the freezer, the box was missing...

The girl sat silent, but the second guy seemed to know what was up.

GUY 2: Oh yeah, I think I saw Joey take the box. Maybe he thought you didn't need itβ€”

The first guy then interjected with what might be one of the most unintentionally funny things I've ever heard in my entire life.

GUY 1: Dammit, I had a feeling it was him. If he had just told me he was gonna take them, I wouldn't still have beef.

I really didn't feel so bad that I forgot my headphones after that.
posted by defenestration at 3:42 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


This is similar to one of my favorite past times, making up Fun Factz!, which sound like real fun facts, but on closer inspection are absolutely retarded.

Did you know that if you unwound your small intestine, it would stretch three times around the equator of the earth?
posted by bookish at 3:44 PM on November 26, 2008


An earless man asks 'what?'.
posted by The Power Nap at 3:45 PM on November 26, 2008


Ne'er the well be mind. Nor it be thine.
posted by tellurian at 3:46 PM on November 26, 2008


When all is said and done, it's time to go.
posted by Lemurrhea at 3:49 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


In the Kingdom of the Blind, people can't see anything.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:06 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


He who laughs last, laughs last.
posted by carter at 4:09 PM on November 26, 2008


I loved the tagline from the trailer for MST3K: The Movie:

"Every year Hollywood releases hundreds of movies. This is one of them"
posted by mgrichmond at 4:13 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Seeing the word "minim" gave me a bad flashback to my first year of pharmacy school, where we had to learn anachronistic units of measure like "grain", "dram" and "minim".

When I left pharmacy in 2002, you would still see the terms "grain" and "dram" used occasionally. This demonstrates how tradition can sometimes trump reason within medicine. Circumcision is perhaps the most egregious example.

But thankfully I never had to deal with a monstrosity like a "minim".
posted by Tube at 4:15 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Lovers of stupid proverbs MUST play Wise and Otherwise. It is a game in which one player draws a card, and gives the (printed) first half of a proverb. The other players then make up and write down a second half. Then the first player reads the collected second halves, including the actual one (on the card), and the other players must guess the correct proverb. It is one of the best games ever.
All time favorite proverb (the correct answer to which stumped all players):
"A child raised by his grandmother..."
"...is worth 300 yen less."
posted by agentofselection at 4:18 PM on November 26, 2008 [2 favorites]


"It is what it is."

I'm guilty of using this myself from time to time, and I always feel stupid for saying it. It feels like you're admitting defeat to the task of unerstanding the world. I need to shrug less...
posted by LMGM at 4:24 PM on November 26, 2008


You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.

(Sigh.)
posted by william_boot at 4:41 PM on November 26, 2008


Find a penny, pick it up - all day long you'll have a penny.
posted by bunglin jones at 4:47 PM on November 26, 2008


Tautological cat is tautological.
posted by stet at 4:47 PM on November 26, 2008 [3 favorites]


Unrelated.
posted by theiconoclast31 at 4:48 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


I thought it was a half note.
posted by chuckdarwin at 4:51 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


The more you know, the less you don't.
A squid eating dough in a polyethelene bag is fast and bulbous.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 5:04 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


I like my coffee like I like my tea: strong, sweet, and black.
posted by penduluum at 5:06 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Life is what happens while you're making other plans, and at all other times during which you are alive.
posted by penduluum at 5:07 PM on November 26, 2008


defenestration: "GUY 1: Dammit, I had a feeling it was him. If he had just told me he was gonna take them, I wouldn't still have beef."

Next time you tell that story, go ahead and change it to "If he had just told me he was going to take them, I wouldn't have any beef." Scans better. I know the "still" adds a certain something, but the readability ruins the intent.
posted by team lowkey at 5:10 PM on November 26, 2008


I like my coffee like I like my women: a lot.
posted by brundlefly at 5:12 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Sometimes the black cat will make biscuits on you.
posted by everichon at 5:16 PM on November 26, 2008


Wolfman's got nards.

Does anyone else remember this ancient proverb of yore?
posted by team lowkey at 5:17 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


I remember hearing Richie Benaud on the Ch9 cricket commentary make one of my favourite sporting observations ever:

Well it looks like if they want to win the game at this point they're going to have to go out and score as many runs as possible.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 5:18 PM on November 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Paradise is exactly like where you are, only much much better.
posted by Quietgal at 5:42 PM on November 26, 2008


From my father in law:

People are like potatoes, only less round.
posted by never used baby shoes at 5:53 PM on November 26, 2008 [2 favorites]


A journey of a thousand miles begins at a distance of a thousand miles from its intended terminus.

A smile is just an upside down smile turned rightside up.

It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and eat a live bee.

A stitch in time is often mistaken for a science fantasy novel by Madeleine L'Engle.

God helps those who are the recipients of miracles.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frottle barontomy.

Love means never having to say I am not in love.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket if that basket is some sort of living organism that takes the shape of a basket in order to eat eggs.

I was sad because I had no shoes, and them I met a man who had no testicles.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:00 PM on November 26, 2008 [11 favorites]


Well, as the Germans say, when you're up to your ass in crocodiles, don't stop to bake a cake.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:25 PM on November 26, 2008 [4 favorites]


This comment is intentionally left unempty.
posted by loquacious at 6:41 PM on November 26, 2008


Years of related fun.
posted by cashman at 6:51 PM on November 26, 2008


If you read just one comment on this thread, apparently it was this one.
posted by Bokononist at 7:14 PM on November 26, 2008 [7 favorites]


There is nothing to fear but death, pain, debilitating injury, financial ruin, reputational damage, and the threat of any and all of these to our loved ones and families.

Time waits for no man except for possibly a pilot flying westward at particularly fast speeds.

Only the good die good.

The plot thins.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:15 PM on November 26, 2008


Ceiling cat is a cat in the ceiling.
posted by maxwelton at 7:31 PM on November 26, 2008


Red sky at night, it's probably sunset with high cloud cover to the west. Red sky at morn, it's probably sunrise with high clouds to the east.

Monday's child was born on Monday. Tuesday child was born on Tuesday. Wednesday's child was born on Wednesday. Thursday's child was born on Thursday. Friday's child was born on Friday. Saturday's child was born on Saturday. Sunday's child was born on Sunday.
posted by maxwelton at 7:38 PM on November 26, 2008


There are over 20 letters that cannot be found in the word "team."
posted by PlusDistance at 7:41 PM on November 26, 2008 [4 favorites]


He who laughs last is probably a little slow getting the joke.
posted by darkstar at 7:55 PM on November 26, 2008


From my father in law: People are like potatoes, only less round.

Your father-in-law clearly has not met some of my relatives.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 7:59 PM on November 26, 2008


"Life," said Ford Prefect, "is like a grapefruit. It's round and dimpled on the outside, soft and squidgy in the middle, and has pips in it. Oh, and some people eat half of one for breakfast."
posted by rifflesby at 8:01 PM on November 26, 2008


Oh, and a saying I've used for many years as a personal tagline:

"When I smile, I have a mouth full of teeth; when I frown, I'm not even here."
posted by rifflesby at 8:04 PM on November 26, 2008


(Which is more of a Discordian mondo, but arguably they're related concepts.)

Sure would like an Edit function.
posted by rifflesby at 8:09 PM on November 26, 2008


Two in the pink, one in the stink?
posted by jarvitron at 8:12 PM on November 26, 2008


"Well it looks like if they want to win the game at this point they're going to have to go out and score as many runs as possible."

That's bad. Not as bad as Joe Morgan: "they [Red Sox] cannot beat them [Rays] by outscoring them."
posted by one_bean at 8:18 PM on November 26, 2008


People living in stone houses can throw glasses
the early bird catches the early worm
posted by hortense at 8:27 PM on November 26, 2008


He died doing what he loved; being alive.
posted by troubles at 8:49 PM on November 26, 2008


You are now the oldest you have ever been.
posted by parudox at 8:59 PM on November 26, 2008


Youth is wasted.
posted by maxwelton at 10:15 PM on November 26, 2008


Jeez, my original link on AskMetaFilter didn't get any favorites, and this FPP gets 16? And I've always been too intimidated to make an FPP, let alone one with a single link...

That said, the contributions here are funny.

I like my coffee like I like my women: hot, poured on my lap, and with a million dollar settlement from McDonald's.

My brother and I once collaborated on what we considered the worst joke ever:

Beethoven (who was deaf) and James Joyce (who was blind in later years) were given an elephant and asked to figure out what it was.

They felt the legs, which were like tree trunks.
They felt the tail, which was like rope.
They felt the trunk, which was like a hose.

Finally, Beethoven said, "I'm deaf! Deaf, not blind, you idiots! It's an ELEPHANT!"

"Sure smells like one," said Joyce.
posted by Schmucko at 10:28 PM on November 26, 2008 [5 favorites]


It takes two to duel.
posted by daniel_charms at 10:58 PM on November 26, 2008


The New Statesman once ran a competition for proverbs similar to this.
I seem to recall one of the winning entries was "No man is a pylon."
posted by Abiezer at 12:15 AM on November 27, 2008


Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a good banana.
posted by msalt at 12:20 AM on November 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


It takes two to tango.
posted by team lowkey at 12:24 AM on November 27, 2008


At the end of the day, it's night.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 1:04 AM on November 27, 2008


And Tuesday is not a fish.
posted by daniel_charms at 1:46 AM on November 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


a man's house is where he lives.
posted by stvspl at 5:52 AM on November 27, 2008


Some from the kitchen:

If life hands you lemons, you won't have to buy lemons.

A watched pot will never gather moss.

Too many cooks will spill the beans.

You say tomato, I say, "How much?"

When you give someone a cookie, it means, "Have some dessert."

Life is like a box of chocolates if it suddenly sprouted little feet and ran away.

Sometimes a hot dog is just a hot dog, other times it is a chili dog.

Apple pie without the cheese is like a shirt without the sleeves.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:50 AM on November 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Since reading this, I have seen "A watched clock never boils" and "The black cat is always the last one off the fence" at two different websites. Is it a conspiracy?
posted by Enron Hubbard at 7:31 AM on November 27, 2008


Since reading this, I have seen "A watched clock never boils" and "The black cat is always the last one off the fence" at two different websites. Is it a conspiracy?
posted by Enron Hubbard at 7:31 AM on November 27 [+] [!]


Eponystirmation bias?
posted by Lemurrhea at 1:02 PM on November 27, 2008


Minimmeh
posted by Smedleyman at 1:50 PM on November 27, 2008


If life gives you lemons, eat your damn lemons.

Although, related:

"If you're going through hell, keep going."
W. Churchill
posted by Wrinkled Stumpskin at 1:55 PM on November 27, 2008


The title of the resultant collection, I believe, was An Owl In A Sack Troubles No Man.

Troubles no man?!? Never put a blanket over an owl.
posted by Deathalicious at 9:54 PM on November 27, 2008


"When you wake up in the morning, it be different days." - Drunk bum on bus
posted by brundlefly at 10:09 PM on November 27, 2008


Oldskool and in Holland only: if there's a sudden silence in conversations in a room full of people, somebody eventually said: "A reverend passes". After that talking started again, as if nothing happened.
posted by ouke at 4:31 AM on November 28, 2008


My father once reached a point of frustration while working on a project of some sort and, in attempt to express dismay that certain actions had wrought undesirable consequenses he opined:

"You know, you try to do something, and you end up doing something!"

It actually has grown into more or less a maxim between us; I mean, were truer words never spoken less clearly?
posted by Mr. Anthropomorphism at 10:01 AM on November 28, 2008


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