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Puppies are everywhere
December 11, 2008 7:46 AM   Subscribe

Recently a puppy webcam became so incredibly popular online that it caught the attention of the mainstream media. There was a This American Life story a few years ago about a guy (Bob FitzSimons) who had an idea for a 24-hour all-puppies-all-the-time tv channel that was short-lived on cable and just didn't work out. The story of his idea doesn't end there though. The Puppy Channel is now online.

If you caught the NPR story, you might remember a theme song that Bob FitzSimons wrote, "Puppies Are Everywhere." It's up on the website along with other puppy-themed original music.
posted by Tehanu (48 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite

 
This is brilliant but needs a homepage video which does not autoplay and does not have a musical soundtrack and dubbed in barking which makes me seethe with suppressed rage at somebody trying to tweak and manipulate me with something whose charm is entirely in the purity of puppies acting like puppies.

Shorter form: Good idea, abysmal execution. Think it over and try again. C-
posted by ardgedee at 7:52 AM on December 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


The smartest dogs in the world, Border Collies attacking a cat.
posted by stbalbach at 7:52 AM on December 11, 2008


Puppies: Nothing wrong with puppies.
The entire rest of that site, including the music of their one video: Makes me want to burn down Western Civilization.
posted by DU at 7:54 AM on December 11, 2008


Yes, the background music is awful and kind of ruins the inherent awesome of puppy video for me. It's like an anti-puppy.
posted by Tehanu at 7:58 AM on December 11, 2008


My girlfriend would like to break into all your accounts just so she can favourite this post numerous times.
posted by gman at 7:58 AM on December 11, 2008


YAY!
posted by anniecat at 8:03 AM on December 11, 2008


And after I burn down civilization, I'm going to pee on the ashes for "channemals".
posted by DU at 8:06 AM on December 11, 2008


Puppies! Squee!!!!!

If this post were about a kitten channel, I would post something snarky or just ignore the thread altogether. But then I'm happy God chooses to "punish" us for masturbation in the fashion he does.
posted by orange swan at 8:10 AM on December 11, 2008


I remember the Puppy Channel from like ten years back. They occasionally showed blocks of it on one of our unused cable channels, replacing the perpetual Community Calendar channel. It was rather enjoyable just watching puppies romp about, but they constantly played a theme song that consisted of nothing but "Puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies..." We eventually learned to just mute the TV and watch the dogs frolic.

...and there the song is on the website. I cannot bring myself to listen to it.
posted by Spatch at 8:11 AM on December 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


And before these latest puppies in the news, there was also, of course, the Puppy Bowl, which is even going to be live blogged this year.
posted by inigo2 at 8:15 AM on December 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


The idea behind The Puppy Channel was to launch an entire network that only broadcasted footage of puppies, 24 hours a day.

The network was the brainchild of Dan FitzSimons, and it came to him after hours of watching the OJ trial on TV. If there was only something that monotonous, but happy!

There was to be no humans, no schedule, not even narration....it was to be all puppies and nothing but. To stir up investor support, Dan conducted focus-group testing that showed 41% of those surveyed said they would prefer The Puppy Channel to CNBC and 37% said they would prefer it to TBS.

In its heyday, The Puppy Channel was seen on a grand total of four cable systems. FitzSimons regrettably pulled the plug in 2001, saying the world was not yet ready for it.

posted by Rhaomi at 8:18 AM on December 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Ok, here's what you do. You have the Puppy Channel. Television. And you have programming. Every day, one hour blocks of a different breed of puppy. Ambient sound. So, from, like 7-8AM, you have puppy bulldogs sitting in a room, sleeping or playing or eating or whatever. And there's no stupid song, because you want to be able to hear the puppies, and if they're sleeping, you want to go, "Oh my God, they're so quiet and adorable and did you hear that one sneeze! And look, he's still sleeping!" And then, at the end of every hour (or the beginning of every hour), you have a one minute or two minute "commercial" in which the owner is interviewed by the Puppy Channel spokesperson about what food/toys/grooming tools, etc. the owners use to take care of the puppies, funded by corporate sponsors.

THIS WOULD MAKE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS.
posted by billysumday at 8:20 AM on December 11, 2008 [4 favorites]


And after I burn down civilization, I'm going to pee on the ashes for "channemals".

Check. Burn down Western civilization, pee on ashes of website. You're going to have to burn it in effigy on bits of paper or something to accomplish this. Plan ahead.
posted by Tehanu at 8:27 AM on December 11, 2008


The Puppy Channel started in 1997, while Puppy Bowl I was in 2005. Any word if they stole the idea? Did the creator shop the idea to Discovery? (can't listen to the TAL episode now, forgot if that was one of the networks)
posted by ALongDecember at 8:27 AM on December 11, 2008


Dude, so cool. I am curious if Matt & Trey at South Park knew about this when they made "Animals Close Up With a Wide Angle Lens." And its sequel, "Animals Close Up With a Wide Angle Lens Wearing Hats."
posted by FuManchu at 8:29 AM on December 11, 2008


Man, it smells like pee in here.
posted by not_on_display at 8:32 AM on December 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: If there was only something that monotonous, but happy!
posted by neroli at 8:32 AM on December 11, 2008


paging tkchrist... hank the wonder dog stories requested on aisle 77331... paging tkchrist...
posted by mwhybark at 8:34 AM on December 11, 2008


Every day, one hour blocks of a different breed of puppy. Ambient sound. So, from, like 7-8AM, you have puppy bulldogs sitting in a room, sleeping or playing or eating or whatever.

The "whatever" is what scares me, because I think that to certain demographics, the Poopin' Puppy Power Hour would be a runaway hit.
posted by Spatch at 8:42 AM on December 11, 2008


I'm tempted to watch this, but I can't help but feel like it's like emotional cheating on the dogs I have at home.
posted by The Gooch at 8:43 AM on December 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


THIS WOULD MAKE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS.

Naw. My plan will blow it out of the water:

24/7 video of hot shirtless firemen holding babies in their beefy arms as puppies cavort on their laps.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:01 AM on December 11, 2008 [3 favorites]


I'm tempted to watch this, but I can't help but feel like it's like emotional cheating on the dogs I have at home.
posted by The Gooch


Just think of it as porn. I'm watching with my dogs, they're into it.
posted by Eekacat at 9:06 AM on December 11, 2008


Just think of it as porn.

I'd like to see a video of Beagle puppies. We all have our own kinks and preferences.
posted by orange swan at 9:17 AM on December 11, 2008


website sucks! Puppies are great...

I'm sitting here at work while my pup is at the vet getting her puppy maker removed... I feel crappy about it but don't want to contribute to the overpopulation of puppy in the world...
posted by HuronBob at 9:17 AM on December 11, 2008


24/7 video of hot shirtless firemen holding babies in their beefy arms as puppies cavort on their laps.

Will there be kitties? Please say yes. Rawr.
posted by fuq at 9:21 AM on December 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


I love cute baby animals. Wait, no, I FUCKING love cute baby animals. But isn't a whole channel dedicated to puppies really just one more step towards "Ow, My Balls!"?

What I want is a slimy creature channel. You know, snails, slugs and the like. Not only are they cute, but some are see through! It takes a lot to make a puppy see-through. (less for slimy, though).
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 9:28 AM on December 11, 2008


Puppies have sharp teeth, letting them "cavort" on your lap may not be a good idea....

what does cavort mean?
posted by HuronBob at 9:29 AM on December 11, 2008


Chihuahuas are cool, and easy. You don't even have to take them out for a walk. Just hold them out the window and squeeze.
posted by netbros at 10:07 AM on December 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


The Puppies song is easily the most annoying song ever created.

However, it has one saving grace. You know how sometimes you get a song stuck in your mind and it is REALLY getting on your nerves because no matter what you do, you can't get it out of your head?

In fact, Can't Get You Outta My Head is a good example of a song that once implanted is hard to pry out of your brain.

Well, I've found that if you think of the Puppies song, it is so overpowering it instantly obliterates any song stuck in your head. In fact, the Puppies song is so completely annoying, it will not replace the prior annoying song, it will obliterate both the stuck song and itself, freeing you to blissfully continue on your merry way. It is rather like combining matter and anti-matter. Try it.
posted by Muddler at 10:19 AM on December 11, 2008


HuronBob, I am soooo jealous. omg cute.
posted by tula at 10:23 AM on December 11, 2008


Puppies puppies puppies puppies puppies puppies puppies puppieeeeees
Puppies puppies puppies puppies puppies puppies puppies puppieeEEees
Puppies puppies puppies puppies puppies puppies puppies puppieeeEEes
Puppies puppies puppies puppies puppies puppies puppies puppieeeeees
PUPPIES!
posted by Pronoiac at 10:37 AM on December 11, 2008


Puppy Bowl wins. No annoying music, and the ref plays it straight. They need to work on their kitten halftime show, though.
posted by queensissy at 10:42 AM on December 11, 2008


Once when visiting the US I swear I saw an MTV show that consisted of nothing but videos playing on a TV in an empty white room while a pack of puppies played around it.

Please confirm I'm not crazy and if I am someone make this happen.
posted by Adam_S at 10:54 AM on December 11, 2008


Okay, so I just spent ten minutes laughing at golden retriever videos. There's ten un-billable minutes, and probably some of the best time spent all day. Makes me wanna go home and play with my two nutjobs.
posted by VicNebulous at 10:57 AM on December 11, 2008


Rhaomi, thanks for that link! I actually have/had some Burley Bear I got at a CMJ Marathon event back in 2000 or so (maybe 1999?). Maybe it was a container of honey? I forget.

Why would someone "live blog" the puppybowl? I think the act of liveblogging would be more entertaining than reading it. "Oh, the big white one pounced on the little black one! Now the little black one ran away and is barking! Here's the two pugs! They're so cute!" It's something of second-hand joy, diluted through the re-telling.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:58 AM on December 11, 2008


Puppy Bowl clips. Also with annoying music though.
posted by Tehanu at 10:59 AM on December 11, 2008


Hearing the "puppies" song in the middle of a segment of This American Life makes me feel like I just got Rickrolled by NPR.
posted by Pronoiac at 10:59 AM on December 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


I'm not sure of the best place to post this so I'll just put it here:

CAN I HAZ JOBB?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:36 AM on December 11, 2008


I wonder how they'd react if the resume and cover letter were written in lolspeak.
posted by Tehanu at 11:43 AM on December 11, 2008


Puppies are, in fact, great. As are kittens. And the thing is, there is a point where most animals haven't figured out where they fall in the prey/ predator dynamic, and are happy just to be around something else warm and wobbly.

So a truly genius show, would be puppies, kittens, ducklings, baby miniature goats, and all manner of other tiny fuzzies, all running around interacting with one another while some kind of pleasant music plays in the background.

You want a billion dollar idea? A channel full of kittens curled up around baby chicks while a puppy gently cleans them with its tongue and goat wanders around the background balancing on stuff way too small for it.

It's like the perfect convergence of awesome and cute.
posted by quin at 12:29 PM on December 11, 2008


Just think of it as porn.

I'd like to see a video of Beagle puppies. We all have our own kinks and preferences.


No thanks, distinct lack of chew toys.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:51 PM on December 11, 2008


So a truly genius show, would be puppies, kittens, ducklings, baby miniature goats, and all manner of other tiny fuzzies a crocodile, all running around interacting with one another while some kind of pleasant music Yakety Sax plays in the background.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 12:54 PM on December 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Easiest Youtube Search Evor
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:18 PM on December 11, 2008


these videos just took my day from like a 5 to a 9 (out of ten). Thank you everyone.

Just think of it as porn.


actually, when I watched the one on the puppy channel about puppies at christmas, I thought, "hmm, bizarre lighting, low budget sets and camera work, a contrived plot... this is uncomfortably similar to porn..."
posted by jrb223 at 2:13 PM on December 11, 2008


Why! OH WHY did my Baby Squids and Tarantulas Channel fail? Why?
posted by tkchrist at 2:54 PM on December 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


A baby squid, octopus and cuttlefish cam channel would be must-see TV for me nightly.
posted by Auden at 9:34 PM on December 11, 2008


24/7 video of hot shirtless firemen holding babies hot shirtless firemen in their beefy arms as puppies hot shirtless firemen cavort on their laps.

FTFY. Sorry, the babies and puppies just got in the way.
posted by Goofyy at 4:54 AM on December 12, 2008


Meh. Just doesn't have the same oomph that Shiba Inu Puppy Cam has. I kept that page open for an entire day once to get me through work.
posted by spamguy at 8:03 AM on December 12, 2008


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