I don't know how to plug butt.

February 22, 2009 3:51 AM

Don't Shit Your Pants: A survival horror game
posted by tehloki (48 comments total)

Oh, you.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:37 AM on February 22 [1 favorite]

Don't Shit Your Pants: The best of the web.
posted by dunkadunc at 4:42 AM on February 22 [1 favorite]

I can't get achievements 6 and 7.

This is far more compelling than it should be, really. And by "compelling," I mean basically anything but.
posted by DoctorFedora at 4:43 AM on February 22

And it only took me four attempts!

Coming Up: Don't File Your Taxes Late.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:54 AM on February 22

YEAH. I am the Shit King!

Sigh.
posted by lucidium at 4:54 AM on February 22

DoctorFedora, the answer to getting 6 and 7 is in your pants.
posted by jozxyqk at 5:00 AM on February 22

I'm the king of shit!
posted by cthuljew at 5:01 AM on February 22

Definitely more logical and entertaining than most text adventures I remember playing.
posted by malevolent at 5:04 AM on February 22

A fearsome dragon APPEARS. Do you fight him? [Y/N] _
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:06 AM on February 22 [4 favorites]

Your shit is trapped in a maze of twisty passages, all alike.
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 5:13 AM on February 22 [15 favorites]

For those having trouble, the only relevant objects in the game seem to be: toilet, door, pants

and the game needn't always end by your typing of "shit". hell, it doesn't need to start by your typing of "play"
posted by tehloki at 5:28 AM on February 22

WHAT DO YOU DO?:
1. Light my torch.
2. Cast a SPELL.
3. Dig through my shit.
4. Go back.
_
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:29 AM on February 22

Oh man, the second level is rock hard.
posted by lucidium at 5:36 AM on February 22

Worth noting: no character in a text adventure game has ever known how to eat, sleep, or masturbate.
posted by tehloki at 5:37 AM on February 22

The parser in this game is really, really bad.
posted by LSK at 5:46 AM on February 22

I also cannot get 6 and 7.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:47 AM on February 22

Worth noting: no character in a text adventure game has ever known how to eat, sleep, or masturbate.

Hmm. It occurs to me that part of Valve's success is they're able to take all sorts of stats on gameplay in Team Fortress 2 or Left 4 Dead and tweak the game accordingly to balance things. Has anyone ever tried this with text adventures? You could presumably figure out what people were trying to do the most often that you hadn't thought of and then build it into the parser.
posted by lou at 6:02 AM on February 22 [2 favorites]

You have to burn the shit!
posted by The Bellman at 6:09 AM on February 22 [1 favorite]

Fuckin' thing doesn't even know what coprophagia is.
posted by gman at 6:22 AM on February 22 [1 favorite]

Why do people expect complex AI and crazy self-modifying learning code in a game about taking a shit?
posted by tehloki at 6:37 AM on February 22 [6 favorites]

tehloki, I could come up with plenty of examples in text adventures to prove you wrong on all 3 points (ok, maybe just one example on the last point, good old Leisure Suit Larry)

But I think this might be the first text adventure I ever played where taking a shit was possible...
posted by jozxyqk at 6:40 AM on February 22

Worth noting: no character in a text adventure game has ever known how to eat, sleep, or masturbate.

Not true.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:44 AM on February 22

Why do people expect complex AI and crazy self-modifying learning code in a game about taking a shit?

For the same reason games invest in graphics, physics engines, and interactive environments when they're not necessarily required for the game to be fun. Text parsers promise an ultimate freedom of exploration, type in anything a person can conceivably do and your character might do it. It's a little disheartening when your character has the vocabulary of a student in his first month of English class.

Also, maybe I just like increasingly complex solutions to solve a fairly simple problem.
posted by lou at 6:47 AM on February 22

I also mean generically, that anytime someone makes a text-based game hosted on the internet they should take advantage of the platform and start figuring out what people want to do in it.
posted by lou at 6:53 AM on February 22

I got all the awards, but for some reason I'm not too proud for this.
posted by daniel_charms at 6:58 AM on February 22

Isn't there a MetaFilter IF contest coming up?
posted by lucidium at 7:02 AM on February 22

I'm the king of shit!

Randy Marsh is on Metafilter. Who knew?
posted by clearly at 7:06 AM on February 22

I was so into the game I actually shit my pants!
posted by munchingzombie at 8:11 AM on February 22

..in your pants.
posted by Zambrano at 8:19 AM on February 22

I'm a little ashamed that I just looked at a walkthrough for a game about not shitting your pants.
posted by hapticactionnetwork at 8:24 AM on February 22 [7 favorites]

Well, there goes my MeFi IF contest idea.
posted by empath at 8:29 AM on February 22 [1 favorite]

Shit in my pants.
posted by empath at 8:30 AM on February 22 [1 favorite]

You don't think very much of your jizz.
posted by gman at 8:53 AM on February 22

Nice. Album art couldn't have come out better if I'd tried.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 9:59 AM on February 22

Oh whoops, posted that in the wrong thread.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 10:04 AM on February 22

That's hilarious.
posted by HopperFan at 10:49 AM on February 22

For hints on 6 and 7, note that "look" is also a keyword here.
posted by Team of Scientists at 10:52 AM on February 22

Tip for 6 and 7:
>Search pants
posted by a robot made out of meat at 10:57 AM on February 22

Worth noting: no character in a text adventure game has ever known how to eat, sleep, or masturbate.

Never played Infocom's LEATHER GODDESSES OF PHOBOS, did we?
posted by Justinian at 11:02 AM on February 22

I am most impressed with the excellence and ever-growing maturity of MeFi posts. The intellectual rigor of posts such as these is heartwarming and rewarding. Pffft.
posted by Seekerofsplendor at 11:22 AM on February 22

Seekerofsplendor, did you just fart? YOU FARTED TOO HARD AND SHIT YOUR PANTS!
posted by taz at 1:31 PM on February 22 [1 favorite]

HAH! Once you get the king of pooping achievement, you get a crown on subsequent playthroughs!
posted by danny the boy at 2:04 PM on February 22

I was disappointed that I could not examine the crown. Or shit on the crown.
posted by tehloki at 2:38 PM on February 22

I was so into the game I actually didn't shit my pants!
posted by Pronoiac at 3:59 PM on February 22

Hey, I managed to avoid shitting in my pants. And I didn't need no steenking walkthrough either.
posted by Curry at 4:17 PM on February 22

Funny, Curry usually makes me shit my pants.
posted by gman at 4:52 PM on February 22 [1 favorite]

You need no walkthrough, just remember that one Gary Larson cartoon. (link is a spoiler)
posted by pmbuko at 6:40 PM on February 22

This could not have come at a more opportune time. Less than a week ago, I had the pleasure of cleaning up the shit of a woman who just couldn't make it all the way to the restroom of the library where I work. I will be proposing this to the board as a new interactive training tool for our patrons.
posted by Rykey at 2:58 PM on February 25