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Breaking Lincoln News
March 10, 2009 9:13 PM   Subscribe


 
Heh, it does sound like the hook for the plot of National Treasure 3.

Too bad the guy was wrong about his abolitionist message.
posted by dhartung at 9:21 PM on March 10, 2009


Wow, "breaking Lincoln news" is not a phrase you get to use every day.
posted by Malor at 9:22 PM on March 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


That (the pocketwatch story) is so cool.
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:24 PM on March 10, 2009


Would it help if I squint?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:25 PM on March 10, 2009


Wow, he has an uncanny resemblance to Big Foot.
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:25 PM on March 10, 2009 [10 favorites]


Wow, "breaking Lincoln news" is not a phrase you get to use every day.

I confess that was the main reason for the post. Also, the pocket watch story gave me warm fuzzies.
posted by CunningLinguist at 9:27 PM on March 10, 2009


This shit is great! Right up there with (and surpassing) episodes of History Detectives.
posted by ericb at 9:29 PM on March 10, 2009


NPR did something on the pocket watch story, too. It's at the bottom of the last photo link. Hearing the watch repair guy's descendant is pretty neat.
posted by Caduceus at 9:31 PM on March 10, 2009


Wow, he has an uncanny resemblance to Big Foot.

You know, that might explain a lot.
posted by Caduceus at 9:31 PM on March 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


It looks like a streetlight to me.
posted by Iron Rat at 9:33 PM on March 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


The most shattering revelation of that NPR pocket watch story is that apparently I can abbreviate my first name to Jonth. 37 years and nobody ever told me!
posted by nanojath at 9:36 PM on March 10, 2009


This is pretty damn cool, I must say.
posted by ob at 9:37 PM on March 10, 2009


Maryland was basically part of the South in the civil war, wherever the Mason-Dixon Line was drawn, and Washington was thus practically behind enemy lines the whole time. Irish-Americans were overwhelmingly in support of the confederacy.

This particular Irishman etching his microscopic talisman of faith into Lincoln's wristwatch on the day the first shots were fired upon Ft. Sumter is awesome and chilling for me. "Thank god we still have a government" might not be as profound nor prophetic as "we will see the end of slavery," but as far as a snapshot of the moment goes, it might be even more meaningful.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:38 PM on March 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


The pocket watch link seems to be broken. Try here instead.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:43 PM on March 10, 2009


I just broke open my pocket watch to see what message the last repair guy scratched into it. And, indeed, he left a message. Unfortunately, he wrote the following:

GIVE ME BACK THAT FILLET OF FISH! GIVE ME BACK THAT FISH!
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:09 PM on March 10, 2009 [7 favorites]


The relatives of LE Grofs, who declined to be identified, said, "Yeah, family legend is that great-great-grandpa Grofs was an asshole who went around scrawling his name on other people's stuff."
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:14 PM on March 10, 2009 [4 favorites]


Message, in its entirety:

"Urgent--Do what you can to keep Jeremiah Limbaugh from siring offspring, or this country will suffer mighty humiliation many generations hence! "Your" GoP will be the refuge of vapid beauty-content winners and scurrilous millionaires otherwise! I must go, they are approaching aaaaaarrr"
posted by maxwelton at 10:21 PM on March 10, 2009


LE grofs is clearly an anagram for "le frogs".

The old man blamed the French for the attack, QED.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 10:22 PM on March 10, 2009


Wow, he has an uncanny resemblance to Big Foot.

Believe it or not, within the unique subculture of Bigfootery, a fellow named Vito Quaranta actually coined a term for such a blurry image; "Blobsquatch". I doubt it's made it into the OED, but it's a real word, currently returning 3,540 Google hits.
posted by Tube at 10:31 PM on March 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Too bad the guy was wrong about his abolitionist message.

You see that Union out there? I saved that Union.

But you fuck up one abolitionist message...
posted by Cyrano at 10:39 PM on March 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


Too bad, really. Lincoln's lost treasures could've saved the country from financial ruin.
posted by graventy at 10:58 PM on March 10, 2009


Astro Zombie: Was your watchmaker drinking Pepsi Blue?
posted by jester69 at 11:02 PM on March 10, 2009


This also surfaced on the same day as the first image of T-Rex Lincoln.
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:05 AM on March 11, 2009 [5 favorites]


Why is Jeff Davis' name dominating the works, yet no one notices?
posted by ronin21 at 3:37 AM on March 11, 2009 [1 favorite]


maxwelton: surely he wouldn't engrave "aaaaaarrr", he would just say it.

someone had to do it
posted by yhbc at 5:16 AM on March 11, 2009


[picks up red phone] Somebody get me Nicolas Cage!
posted by rokusan at 5:36 AM on March 11, 2009


"That's Lincoln's watch," he said, after putting it down, "and my ancestor put graffiti on it!"

Next up, DNA evidence proving that Ebenezer Jebediah Bush pissed all over the original constitution.
posted by rokusan at 5:44 AM on March 11, 2009


But you fuck up one abolitionist message...

"That's one small step for... man... Dammit! I'll come in again."
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:45 AM on March 11, 2009


Isn't this really the last photo of Lincoln? (context)
posted by Bromius at 5:58 AM on March 11, 2009 [1 favorite]


If I fill my Lincoln Navigator with 10% ethanol, how many carbon atoms are present from Lincoln's dying breath?
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 6:26 AM on March 11, 2009


rokusan : Nic Cage is busy, we're sending Tom Hanks instead. We tried to cut his mullet but the bastard ran.
posted by mannequito at 6:52 AM on March 11, 2009


Washington Post link is broken?
posted by fusinski at 7:00 AM on March 11, 2009


Just for the hell of it, I opened the hood of my car after it was worked on at the car dealership. Lo and behold, scratched into the underside of the hood were the words: "I hope the owner of this car doesn't kick my lazy mechanic ass for writing this shit here instead of fixing his car."
posted by digsrus at 7:19 AM on March 11, 2009


Maryland was basically part of the South in the civil war, wherever the Mason-Dixon Line was drawn, and Washington was thus practically behind enemy lines the whole time. Irish-Americans were overwhelmingly in support of the confederacy.

This is a horrifically un-nuanced view; for one thing, western MD was largely hostile towards the Confederacy (Lee expected local support there, and found little to none). Central and eastern Maryland were mostly sympathetic to the south (see: the guns on Federal Hill), but all-in-all, the state was just as confused about its identity then as now. As for Irish-Americans, if we're going to paint with a broad brush, it would be more accurate to say that those in the north were more anti-"being drafted to go out and die for a bunch of people who discriminate mercilessly against us" than pro-confederacy.

Finding a Unionist Irish immigrant hanging around Maryland is hardly surprising. Finding one who vandalized the President's watch sure is, though.
posted by Dr.Enormous at 7:24 AM on March 11, 2009 [1 favorite]


That's not Lincoln - it's just a naked lady looking out a window.
posted by ericbop at 7:34 AM on March 11, 2009


It looks like Jesus to me. Right there you can see an eye, a mouth, the mustache. Clearly Jesus. Looks like I'm gonna have to stop drinking.
posted by otolith at 7:46 AM on March 11, 2009


This is not the kind of secretion I clicked the link for.
posted by troybob at 8:56 AM on March 11, 2009


WaPo link borked.
posted by klangklangston at 9:06 AM on March 11, 2009


It wasn't when I posted it - I checked!

It was this - I set it to the print version, maybe that screwed it up somehow?
posted by CunningLinguist at 9:14 AM on March 11, 2009


It bothers me that the author of the Washington Post article doesn't know what a shaggy dog story is.
posted by hayvac at 10:05 AM on March 11, 2009


But now I know what a shaggy dog story is, and I love it. Thanks hayvac!
posted by joecacti at 10:17 AM on March 11, 2009


"Thank God we have a President who at least will try."

Agreed.
posted by Flunkie at 10:28 AM on March 11, 2009


Maryland was basically part of the South in the civil war, wherever the Mason-Dixon Line was drawn, and Washington was thus practically behind enemy lines the whole time.

Central Maryland had southern sympathies (with Baltimore pro-south and Annapolis pro-union), but the entire state was put under martial law to keep Maryland union. At Federal Hill in Baltimore, you can still see the cannons that were aimed at city government offices in the event things got out of hand. Union troops even had a small fort there. This was in response to the infamous Pratt Street Riots, where a slew of pro-confederate Baltimoreans started throwing bottles and rocks at Union troops marching down Pratt Street on their way south. This erupted into a full-scale riot that led to the deaths of four soldiers and twelve civilians, and a ginormous fire.

So there may have been strong pro-confederate feelings in Maryland, but they had them in every state in the Union, and Maryland was definitely Union, if by force.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:05 AM on March 11, 2009 [2 favorites]


Maryland in the American Civil War. About 25% of the 85,000 Maryland citizens that fought in the Civil War joined the Confederates.
posted by kirkaracha at 12:19 PM on March 11, 2009


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