The security is maximum and that's a law

March 26, 2009 2:43 PM

The Wellesley College Daily Police Log is available online.Unfortunately, the individual days are PDFs. But it gives a glimpse into the gritty realities of day-to-day policing. Case Closed.
posted by Mayor Curley (27 comments total)

The RP, a parent, requested a well-being check on her daughter. An officer was dispatched to assist. An officer and the RD on duty met with the student. The student stated she was fine. Report filed. Case closed.
posted by brain_drain at 2:51 PM on March 26

This is some rough stuff. It reminds me of that scene from Robocop where Robocop's shoulder hurts.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 2:53 PM on March 26 [2 favorites]

uh, whats the point of this post?
posted by yonation at 2:55 PM on March 26

Summary: The RP, a WC student, entered the station to report her bicycle went missing sometime between December 19, 2008 and January 4, 2009. An officer met with the RP. Report filed. Case closed.

Open and shut ---for all appearances, a simple robbery. But was it really?
posted by acro at 2:56 PM on March 26

So awesome. The day was NOV 11 2008

The RP, a WPD dispatcher, called to request the WCPD check on a suspicious motor vehicle with two occupants. WCPD officers were dispatched to investigate. Officers spoke with the occupants of the vehicle and they left the campus. Report filed .Case closed.

The RP, a WC student, reported her bicycle was missing from in front of Stone Davis. An officer met with the RP. A WCPD officer located the bicycle later in the evening and returned it to the owner. Report filed. Case closed.

The RP, a WC staff member, called to report a student had injured her ankle. Officers were dispatched to assist. Upon arrival, the injured student refused medical treatment. The officer transported her to her residence hall. Report filed. Case closed.

posted by a robot made out of meat at 2:58 PM on March 26

Jinx!
posted by a robot made out of meat at 2:58 PM on March 26

Apparently they have a bus to Neverneverland.
posted by jester69 at 2:59 PM on March 26

I remember reading a story in my old alma's crimelog. Some concerned parent hadn't heard from her son in a couple days, so she calls UPD to check up on him. UPD arrives on scene and detects the odor of pot smoke. Search, seizure, expulsion, beautiful. The moral of the story: call your mother!
posted by The White Hat at 3:04 PM on March 26 [1 favorite]

uh, whats the point of this post?
posted by yonation at 5:55 PM on March 26 [+] [!]

Just the lulz, ma'am.
posted by stavrogin at 3:05 PM on March 26 [4 favorites]

The moral of the story: call your mother!

No, the moral is don't tell your mother where you're going to school.
posted by The Whelk at 3:05 PM on March 26

yonation: "uh, whats the point of this post?"

LOL they think they're real cops!!

That's my guess.
posted by Joe Beese at 3:09 PM on March 26

It was a frozen afternoon in January. Sunday. Another lousy Sunday. I got a call about a young woman in trouble. Maybe it was too much trouble for me to handle. That was ok. I had friends. Six of them, in .38 caliber. *cue title music* *title: WC Dick* I parked my jalopy and got inside. Even my trenchcoat was grateful to get out of the cold. The girl was one of ours, a student, and and RP. "What's the beef?" I said.
"Uh...my shoulder really hurts," she said. She was cute and pert. She had on heavy boots that my eyes couldn't make sense of on a dame. I lit a cigarette and thought about it. Was there anything anyone could do to ease the pain in a lousy world like this?
"Uh, can you take me to Metro West?" she said.
Was she coming on to me? Dames, can you trust any of them? Just then a woman who looked like Velma from Scooby Doo came out putting on her coat.
"I'll take you," she said. "It's not a problem."
"Ok," she looked at me. "Uh, thanks? See you later."
What did it mean? Who had caused her the pain and where was she going to find someone who could fill the hole? I didn't know. I just do my job. Right now, I had a report to file. I'm just a dick. My beat? The WC.
*cue end music*
posted by Smedleyman at 3:11 PM on March 26 [24 favorites]

Well, it's no Arcata Eye, that's for sure. (Hell, it's barely an Ord (NE) Quiz. Bit more than a Burwell (NE) Tribune, though.)
posted by dersins at 3:16 PM on March 26

Don't get it.
posted by MarshallPoe at 3:17 PM on March 26

February 11, 2009: “The RP, a WC staff member, entered the office to report that he observed a scratch on the roof of his car. An officer was dispatched to assist.”

Assist how, exactly? “Can’t you like, get DNA off the scratch or something? I saw it one time on CSI…”
posted by letourneau at 3:17 PM on March 26

It's supposed to be funny, goddamnit. What is with you people?
posted by dead cousin ted at 3:22 PM on March 26

LOL they think they're real cops!!

Minor nit: These are campus police, not campus security. In MA there's a difference, and the police are the same as city and town police.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 3:23 PM on March 26

It just started raining here. I think I'm going to cook a hot dog.
posted by joe vrrr at 3:25 PM on March 26 [1 favorite]

This is some rough stuff. It reminds me of that scene from Robocop where Robocop's shoulder hurts.

Listen, I've had it up to here with cracks about my fibromyalgia. Or at least, I would have it up to there if I could raise my arms that high. So I'll just point at there from my waist. Stop snickering. It's a serious condition, dammit. The artist lady on the commercial said so while wrapping her spindly fingers about a mug of tea. That counts as a diagnosis.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:26 PM on March 26 [3 favorites]

*dispatches officer to assist joe vrrr*
posted by Skot at 3:27 PM on March 26

Reminds me of this.
posted by Ludi at 4:09 PM on March 26

Summary: The RP, a WC student, entered the station to report her bicycle went missing sometime between December 19, 2008 and January 4, 2009. An officer met with the RP. Report filed. Case closed.

Shouldn't they find the bike before closing the case?

Hutz: Thank you, Dr. Hibbert. I rest my case.
Judge: You rest your case?
Hutz: What? Oh no, I thought that was just a figure of speech. CASE CLOSED.
posted by DU at 4:10 PM on March 26 [1 favorite]

Summary: The RP, a WC student, entered the station to report her bicycle went missing sometime between December 19, 2008 and January 4, 2009. An officer met with the RP. Report filed. Case closed.

Open and shut ---for all appearances, a simple robbery. But was it really?

EXACTLY!!!!!!! THE POLICE NEVER DO ANYTHING!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by miss lynnster at 4:13 PM on March 26

Does anyone else see "WC" as "water closet" as in "shitter?" It makes the campus seem slightly more exciting, if in a disgustingly organic sort of way.
posted by maxwelton at 5:04 PM on March 26

The worst possible thing you can do at Wellesley is enter a restroom without knocking twice, waiting 15 seconds (counting one-Mississippi-style) then opening the door slowly and announcing, "A MAN IS ENTERING"

The second worst possible thing you can do is order an espresso at the "Hoop" cafe. God that was awful and I am pretty sure they use a different tamp for the male customers.
posted by neustile at 5:23 PM on March 26

This is exactly what Twin Peaks would have been like had Laura Palmer not been killed.
posted by munchingzombie at 7:42 PM on March 26

I think it's sorta interesting, at least from a curiousity perspective. It's easy to say "these cops don't do anything useful!" but at the same time, it reminds me of a lot of the embarrasingly benign shit I do, that if I had to log, would look something like this:

29-Apr
----
09:25:04
Service ticket received. User reports no sound coming from speakers.
Dispatched to room 19. User's speakers were not plugged in. Plugged in speakers.
Report filed. Case closed.
----
10:03:23
Service ticket received. User reports she is unable to see all records on screen.
Dispatched to room 3A. Showed user how to use horizontal scroll bar.
Report filed. Case closed.
----
11:35:45
Service ticket received. User needs Photoshop on his machine.
Dispatched to room 4A. Installed Photoshop.
Report filed. Case closed.
----
11:42:34
Service ticket received. User reports no sound coming from speakers.
Dispatched to room 19. Plugged speakers back in. Moved speakers to prevent similar events in the future.
Report filed. Case closed.
----


and that's on a BUSY day, mostly.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 5:30 AM on March 27