Moses is Departing Egypt: A Facebook Haggadah

March 31, 2009 7:05 AM

"The Passover Seder, the oldest continuously observed religious ceremony in the world, tells the story of the Jews' Exodus from Egypt. Jewish tradition says that people of each generation must imagine that they personally had departed from Egypt, and the sages say that each generation must tell the story in its own terms. The sages probably did not intend this. "(Via)
posted by lucia__is__dada (28 comments total)

1. Guilty pleasure: Smiting people.

Gotta love it.

The author also has a "graduate student" version.

This sort of Facebook parody has become popular since the RNC created BarackBook during the last US election cycle. PFAW thought of it first, though.

And of course, Hatebook lasted all of five seconds. Were they sued by FB or something?

Also see Austenbook. Hamlet.
posted by zarq at 7:23 AM on March 31, 2009 [1 favorite]

Let my people go.
posted by gman at 7:25 AM on March 31, 2009

A couple years ago, some friends and I had a Battlestar Galactica seder. It was marvelous! We cut the corners off the matzohs and made a special haggadah -- eg. Pharoah = Baltar, Moses = President Roslyn, Land of Egypt = New Caprica, slaying of the first-born Cylon, etc.

And the food? mmmmmmm. Sacrilicious!
posted by Afroblanco at 7:29 AM on March 31, 2009 [2 favorites]

Win!
posted by Xany at 7:31 AM on March 31, 2009

Afroblanco, I'd be careful. That's how splinter faiths get started.

"And I pleaded with Adama at that time saying, "...Please allow me to go over and see the good land which is beyond the Nebula, the goodly blue orb, the Earth..."'
posted by The Whelk at 7:39 AM on March 31, 2009

Pres Obama, with the help of Sec Clinton, will resolve this, another Middle East problem.
posted by Postroad at 8:05 AM on March 31, 2009

Ha! There's some pretty funny stuff here, thanks for the link!

I'd like to read more, but it's after midnight here in Tokyo, and Haggadah get some sleep...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:23 AM on March 31, 2009 [2 favorites]

What makes this Facebook parody different from all other Facebook parodies?

The rabbis and Elijah -- now that's religious comedy gold. He did miss a few key moments though:

The mountains skip like rams.
The hills like lambs.
The Israelites say Deyanu!
Your father sent You a goat.
posted by natabat at 8:25 AM on March 31, 2009 [1 favorite]

lucia__is__dada: ""the oldest continuously observed religious ceremony in the world"

Wow, that's hard core. I only observe it for a night or two each year.
posted by Plutor at 8:29 AM on March 31, 2009

I'd like to read more, but it's after midnight here in Tokyo, and Haggadah get some sleep...

Oy.
posted by cavalier at 8:31 AM on March 31, 2009

I kept hoping for an update from Pharaoh's assistant, Maggie.
posted by rewil at 8:46 AM on March 31, 2009

Yeah, the rabbis are great. Can't see the forest for the trees.

Of course, it is a desert.
posted by QIbHom at 8:47 AM on March 31, 2009

hahahahahaha. i love this.
posted by millipede at 8:54 AM on March 31, 2009

I may be uh... smitten.... for asking this question.... but is this accurate?

"the oldest continuously observed religious ceremony in the world"

The world's oldest religion is generally considered to be Hinduism. The world's oldest monotheistic religion is Zoroastrianism, whose burial rituals and prayers have remained essentially the same for more than 3000 years.

Surely both religions have ceremonies which have been performed consistently throughout their histories?
posted by zarq at 8:56 AM on March 31, 2009 [5 favorites]

It's certainly a contender for the oldest religious ceremony in the world. If you assume that there is at least a kernel of historical truth to the exodus event and that the Passover ceremony to commemorate it developed not long afterward, then Passover is up to 3400+ years old, depending on your dating of the exodus.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 9:04 AM on March 31, 2009

zarq: "The world's oldest monotheistic religion is Zoroastrianism, whose burial rituals and prayers have remained essentially the same for more than 3000 years."

When the Zoroastrians run Hollywood, they can start boasting.

In the meantime: YHWH in full effect, boyee!
posted by Joe Beese at 9:11 AM on March 31, 2009 [1 favorite]

That's how splinter faiths get started.

And so say we all.
posted by DreamerFi at 9:32 AM on March 31, 2009

It's certainly a contender for the oldest religious ceremony in the world.

My point is simply that without a cite the statement shouldn't be an absolute. "One of the oldest" is not the same as "the oldest."

Hindus have been performing puja ceremonies and rituals for millennia, for example.
posted by zarq at 9:42 AM on March 31, 2009

It's a little sad there's no little kid hiding the Afikoman.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:17 AM on March 31, 2009

Comedy!
posted by PuppyCat at 10:24 AM on March 31, 2009

I was just trying to favorite and move on, but on read #8:

"Pharaoh Will you guys stop running up the score?! You already won! Just stop!"

That line kills. Every time.
posted by cavalier at 10:36 AM on March 31, 2009

Is it too meta that I just posted a link to this on my facebook?
posted by cestmoi15 at 11:21 AM on March 31, 2009

You know who else used Facebook?
posted by Electric Dragon at 11:31 AM on March 31, 2009

The Passover Seder, the oldest continuously observed religious ceremony in the world

Modern biblical scholars place the Biblical book of Exodus in it's final form to around 450 BCE.

Zarathustra reformed the already ancient religion that would come to be known afterwards as Zoroastrianism and wrote the Gathas around 600 BCE, roughly about the same time Siddhartha Gautama was likewise rewriting the then centuries old Hindu religious traditions.

I'm not saying definatively that the seder is or is not the oldest continuously observed religious ceremony in the world, but last week was No Ruz and all.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:53 AM on March 31, 2009

Modern biblical scholars place the Biblical book of Exodus in it's final form to around 450 BCE.

The final form hardly matters, though, does it? Exodus includes parts of J, P and E, and several Psalms mention the exodus event as well. I have a biography of George Washington published six years ago, but the dating of the final form of the book has very little to do with when the American Revolution happened, except that, by necessity, it came sometime before.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 12:05 PM on March 31, 2009

I believe that modern scholars place the exodus at approximately 1200 BCE.
posted by zarq at 12:20 PM on March 31, 2009

That 1200 BCE link seems to be arguing that the exodus never really happened, but that a many Canaanites emigrated to Egypt and a few returned, and who knows, maybe that inspired the exodus story. Lots of "maybe"s in the text there. I think, given the historical uncertainties and high emotions, "the oldest" probably could be replaced with "one of the oldest". It's a quote from the link itself though, so unless dude's a MeFite ... oh well. Funny link.
posted by Humanzee at 12:59 PM on March 31, 2009

Favorite line: "Mark Zuckerberg and a whale are now friends."
posted by Alt F4 at 7:07 PM on March 31, 2009