Make your own joke about irrelevant things lingering on past their prime...

April 10, 2009 10:32 AM

The US Postal Service announces a series of Simpsons stamps to be released on May 7.

Includes additional marketing, polling, contests and general postal info here.

posted by 1f2frfbf (62 comments total)

PLEASE GOD GIVE ME A RALPH WIGGUM STAMP
posted by Skot at 10:35 AM on April 10 [5 favorites has favorites]

But, they're not dead yet!
posted by Burhanistan at 10:35 AM on April 10 [2 favorites has favorites]

Worst stamps ever
posted by allen.spaulding at 10:36 AM on April 10 [3 favorites has favorites]

Woo Hoo!
posted by lordrunningclam at 10:36 AM on April 10 [1 favorite has favorites]

Wiggum picking his nose would be a winning way to pay to send my letters and/or small parcels.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:36 AM on April 10 [1 favorite has favorites]

BRAWNDO! Its what envelope corners CRAVE!
posted by ElmerFishpaw at 10:38 AM on April 10

Why does it seem like every Simpsons merchandise/spin-off is managed by non-fans? A Maggie stamp? Really? There are tons of characters more important than Maggie, who is really more of a background character.

Why are we allowed to vote on only the 5 Simpsons of the nuclear family? The 4 of them (Maggie excluded) should be givens, and we should be voting to determine who should be the 4 side characters that get added! We don't want Marge and Homer stamps, we want Ralph, and Apu, and Moe stamps.
posted by explosion at 10:39 AM on April 10 [1 favorite has favorites]

Whose workaday postage affixing wouldn't be at least slightly brightened by the appearance of those familiar yellow faces - to whom attach so many memories of laughter?

But it is one step closer to the Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment.
posted by Joe Beese at 10:41 AM on April 10

Time to write some letters I guess.

It would be awesome if Apu was on the international rate and maybe Ralph got the one cent stamp, etc.

Also, can I get Disco Stu on the Canadian postcard rate?

Disco Stu doesn't advertise
posted by GuyZero at 10:42 AM on April 10

PLEASE GOD GIVE ME A RALPH WIGGUM STAMP

My stamp tastes like burning.
posted by dersins at 10:44 AM on April 10 [11 favorites has favorites]

Remember back in the late 80's/early 90's when Simpsons t-shirts were massively popular? They were contemporary with No Fear and Hypercolor shirts, and pegging your jeans. Vanilla Ice was on the charts and I got my mom to buy me a pair of Reebok pumps, because shoes were pretty much more important than anything else to a 5th grader.

So, if these stamps had been released back then I would have been totally psyched.
posted by empyrean at 10:47 AM on April 10 [2 favorites has favorites]

I haven't mailed anything since 1998.
posted by Damn That Television at 10:49 AM on April 10 [4 favorites has favorites]

Stamps?? Those are for snail mail!

Stamps Rule!... I mean SUCK!
posted by AloneOssifer at 10:50 AM on April 10

I, for one, will probably purchase these stamps.

Also: Simpson's stamp fever: Contract it!
posted by DU at 10:52 AM on April 10

I choo choo choose you!
posted by bottlebrushtree at 10:53 AM on April 10 [1 favorite has favorites]

Agreed about the boring character selection. I want Bumblebee Man, Professor Frink, and Crazy Cat Lady!

Remember back in the late 80's/early 90's when Simpsons t-shirts were massively popular? They were contemporary with No Fear and Hypercolor shirts

I'd buy those too!

(And it's only a matter of time until the kids are pegging their pants. Their pant legs are getting narrower by the day. I can't wait!)
posted by diogenes at 10:54 AM on April 10

Will the Lisa stamps be vegetarian?

Homer's should should be scratch-n-sniff doughnut scented.

Marge's ought to be extra tall to accommodate her hair.

Bart's should have him mooning you on the side that you lick.

Maggie should be holding a gun, all bad-ass.
posted by oddman at 10:55 AM on April 10 [3 favorites has favorites]

Also, how about a Duffman stamp?

DUFFMAN MAILS A LOT OF THINGS!
posted by Skot at 10:56 AM on April 10

Oh man, a Professor Frink stamp would ha ha wha with the awesome!
posted by DU at 10:57 AM on April 10

Apparently artwork was provided by Matt Groening - whether that means he drew them, approved them or just signed off on them, I don't know.

I would have preferred the more typical depictions of OFF (our favourite family) i.e. Homer with a donut in his mouth, Bart on a skateboard, Lisa with Snowball II, etc. - these are kinda plain, but maybe they were created with that intent.

But if MG likes em, than so do I!
posted by bitteroldman at 10:57 AM on April 10

I want Bumblebee Man, Professor Frink, and Crazy Cat Lady!

Oh man, how about a special collector page of Crazy Cat Lady where she's throwing a bunch of cats?
posted by Burhanistan at 10:59 AM on April 10

Oh and for those of you in L.A.:

First-Day-of-Issue Dedication Ceremony The Simpsons creator and executive producer, Matt Groening, who created the original artwork for the stamps, is scheduled to participate in the dedication ceremony, along with executive producer James L. Brooks and several of the actors, at Fox Studios in Los Angeles at 11:15 a.m. PT on Thursday, May 7.

A limited number of seats are available to the public on a first-call, first-reserved basis. Those interested in attending can call 1-866-268-3243 beginning Friday, April 10 between noon and 5 p.m. ET, and 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. ET Monday through Friday thereafter. Due to the expected demand, only one reservation will be accepted per requester per call. When calling, speak slowly and spell your name. Be sure to leave a phone number to receive a callback confirmation. There is a fee for parking. Calls made prior to noon ET on April 10 will not be accepted. Individuals attending the event are asked to provide a driver’s license or another form of government photo identification

posted by bitteroldman at 11:02 AM on April 10

I just noticed the title of the post.

Are you saying that the time to put them on stamps would have been when they were at the crest of their pop culture status?

Because I'm not sure that I want the Post Office to be run as if it were Entertainment Weekly. (Desperate Housewives stamps, anyone?) In a monopoly mail carrier, dull and predictable are good qualities.
posted by Joe Beese at 11:02 AM on April 10

Are you saying that the time to put them on stamps would have been when they were at the crest of their pop culture status?

Nope. I'm saying stamps and the Simpsons were both much cooler and more relevant back in the 20th century.

As to stamps being run as if they were Entertainment Weekly, I think that they currently are, and this is not a good thing.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 11:06 AM on April 10 [1 favorite has favorites]

I would only buy one of these stamps if it could be used to send a letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail, preferably via the 4:30 autogyro.
posted by gompa at 11:08 AM on April 10 [7 favorites has favorites]

Can someone with the right software take this image of Ralph and cover his head in stamps? Then post a link to the pic here with the comment:

"They asked Ralph if he'd like to be on a stamp, but he got confused."

I'll split the favorites 50/50.
posted by mullacc at 11:09 AM on April 10

The US Postal Service: fifteen years behind the cultural zeitgeist.
posted by Caduceus at 11:12 AM on April 10

dersins: "My stamp tastes like burning."

Homer: [Offering stamp] Try one, won't you?
Chief Wiggum: Go ahead, Ralpie; the stranger is offering you a treat!
Ralph: [Ralphie licks one, does spit take] Oh, Daddy! It tastes like Grandma!
Chief Wiggum: [Licks one, spit takes] Holy Moses! It DOES taste like Grandma!
Ralph: I want more!
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, me too!
posted by Plutor at 11:15 AM on April 10 [2 favorites has favorites]

Call me when they issue a stamp with Santa's Little Helper on it.
posted by blucevalo at 11:17 AM on April 10

I'm fine with the selected characters. It'd be a little weird to not have the Simpsons on The Simpsons stamps. The renderings are a bit off, though. When has Homer been drawn like that? It looks like they can't quite figure out how to draw Marge.
posted by kirkaracha at 11:21 AM on April 10

most excellent!
posted by msconduct at 11:24 AM on April 10

blucevalo: "Call me when they issue a stamp with Santa's Little Helper on it."

Unless I'm missing something, it seems to me that the Postal Service is leaving badly needed money on the ground by not issuing some limited edition of stamps including every named Springfield character. Guaranteed interest from both stamp and Simpsons collectors.

Then again, they've never been noted for their business savvy.
posted by Joe Beese at 11:30 AM on April 10

On the other hand, I am sick to death of the Simpsons strip mining every single recognizable character until nothing is left but an annoying shell and a pile of dust. Remember when the Sea Captain was just some guy in the background every now and then, and not some tired trope to pull out every other episode?

Personally, I'm glad they stuck to the actual family Simpson.
posted by paisley henosis at 11:40 AM on April 10

Oh boy! Postage! That's where I am a Viking!
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 11:41 AM on April 10

The United States may have the ugliest currency and coins on the planet, but without a doubt, it has the most rocking stamps.
posted by elmwood at 11:42 AM on April 10

Call me when they issue a stamp with Santa's Little Helper on it.

Except the Post Office would screw it up and we'd get Santos L. Halper stamps.
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 11:43 AM on April 10 [3 favorites has favorites]

explosion : There are tons of characters more important than Maggie, who is really more of a background character.

Shh. Don't let her hear you say stuff like that.

She'll cut you!
posted by quin at 11:46 AM on April 10

Desperate Housewives stamps, anyone?

Thankfully, living people can't be on stamps. Animated characters get a break. That's why when they had a Seinfeld stamp it was of Jerry's empty apartment (part of a series showing the events of each decade).
posted by ALongDecember at 11:46 AM on April 10

Hank Scorpio.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:46 AM on April 10

Remember back in the late 80's/early 90's when Simpsons t-shirts were massively popular?

Yes. I knew someone who had a poster in their locker of Bart with his pants down and Maggie at his crotchal area. He was saying, "Don't have a cow, mom, she lost her pacifier."
posted by snofoam at 11:47 AM on April 10

Very strange, since the Simpsons have never been drawn like this before. I suppose it's probably because Matt Groening actually drew them himself.

Ironic, since is the only rendering of the Simpsons I've ever seen without his signature on it.
posted by designbot at 11:50 AM on April 10

The renderings are a bit off, though. When has Homer been drawn like that? It looks like they can't quite figure out how to draw Marge.

These were drawn by Matt Groening, which explains their somewhat off-kilter appearance. In the early days, the animators tried to keep the look of the characters as close to his original designs as possible. Over time, the character models evolved, becoming less clunky, more refined. The characters didn't start to look like the Simpsons we know today until about half-way through season two.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:07 PM on April 10

Do they taste like Tomacco?

Also, here are the three [non-real-life] characters I'd like to see:
Krusty the Clown, for Chrissake.
I&S writer: "Excuse me, but 'proactive' and 'paradigm? Aren't those just words that dumb people use to sound important? (Pause) I'm fired, aren't I?"
Boy who works in the library: "That's in Juvenile. This is Young Adult."
posted by box at 12:16 PM on April 10

Then on June 7th we'll be able to look back and make remarks about how the stamps used to be better.
posted by adamk at 12:29 PM on April 10

Thankfully, living people can't be on stamps.

That can't be right; Elvis was on a stamp.
posted by aught at 12:51 PM on April 10 [1 favorite has favorites]

The voting, it does nothing!


Seriously, the voting is just to see who America's favorite character is of the five featured? Laaaaame!
posted by orme at 12:59 PM on April 10

My stamp tastes like burning.

Please refrain from tasting the stamp.
posted by turaho at 2:03 PM on April 10 [1 favorite has favorites]

Australia Post issued a Simpsons stamp sheet a few years ago. I'm happy to own one.

You can't really tell from the shitty graphic, but the border contains all the regular, recognisable characters in Springfield.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:31 PM on April 10

On taking a second look at them I've decided I want some Warhol style paintings of all of them.
posted by oddman at 2:32 PM on April 10

There is something fun about anticipating people in the United States licking Bart Simpson's backside before sending letters of outrage to FTC to complain about the next super bowl nipple.
posted by srboisvert at 2:39 PM on April 10

So these stamps you call them, what are they used for?
posted by double block and bleed at 2:58 PM on April 10

You know, I've got no real desire to insert a joke about mail being irrelevant. Even ignoring sending parcels through the mail, the fact that I can send a couple of pieces of paper most anywhere in the US in two to three days for 42 cents is pretty damn amazing. I can send it to people who don't have good Internet access; I can send it to family members whose water comes from wells and who have no phone access unless they walk down the road a ways. While email makes some forms of communication faster, mail still lets me send physical artifacts to friends and loved ones.
posted by sgranade at 3:08 PM on April 10 [3 favorites has favorites]

I prefer my Homers scowling and angry, or hit by a Cub.
posted by timsteil at 3:11 PM on April 10

D'Oh! Frank Grimes is slighted once again.
posted by Frank Grimes at 3:24 PM on April 10

Ew. Call me when they have Smurfs stamps instead.
posted by itsobb at 3:45 PM on April 10

HERE'S GOOD NEWS FOR HOMER SIMPSOY
posted by churl at 3:52 PM on April 10 [1 favorite has favorites]

Smurf stamps for itsobb on line 1.
posted by GuyZero at 3:54 PM on April 10

Why would they release a new stamp right before raising the postage rate? Or do I have the date wrong?

Anyway, forget Homer -- They should have opted for a Mr. Sparkle stamp!
posted by Mael Oui at 8:13 PM on April 10

If there was any justice, my face would be on a bunch of crappy merchandise.
posted by stevil at 11:04 PM on April 10

Why would they release a new stamp right before raising the postage rate? Or do I have the date wrong?

You do have the date wrong. These stamps are being released May 7th, after the increase, and they say "44," which is the new cost for a first-class letter.
posted by explosion at 8:25 AM on April 11

To everyone mocking the mail as obsolete, I say this: cards.

Greeting cards, birthday cards, and cards for the holidays. There are plenty of reasons to dislike the whole obligation of sending cards, but no one can honestly argue that an email card is anything close to the real thing.
posted by paisley henosis at 2:45 PM on April 11

Oh no, I love the cards and letters... when they come. I also think the US Mail is the one great touchstone of our civilization, it is what allowed our country to grow like it did. But is it still relevant in the same way?

I've spent the past year trying to mail actual handwritten letters as much as possible to all my far-flung friends, and you know what? It's hard. I put the effort in because I liked the idea of someone finding a real letter, complete with doo-dads, photos, doodles on the envelope and stains from its travels in their mailbox from me and it making their day a little brighter. But when you spend the time and energy to write a letter, you want it to say something. Sadly, I have very little of substance to say, so I end up whiling away my time on MetaFilter instead. And then when the friend gets the letter, very few of them have the time to sit and compose likewise, so I get a quick email telling me they got my letter and thanks. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

So yeah, mail is great and all, but it's far easier to send an email or text, or even call and talk to someone today than it is to sit down and actually communicate with someone via words on paper. Today the only real use of the mail is for junk and bills, and they don't use fun stamps.

Okay, I'll leave now. I have the sneaking suspicion I've been crapping in my own thread.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 1:27 PM on April 14