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Flirtweeting? Really?
May 8, 2009 8:23 AM   Subscribe

Ladies, you need to know how to flirtext. -- The authors of flirtexting give "the 411" to the hipsters at CNN on how to text your way to a man's heart.
posted by empath (174 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
I'm not sure I believe that one gender is "ahead" of the other in texting. But if one gender is ahead, I'd have thought it was women. I know I see a lot more women than men texting, although I haven't been scientific about this. And although one shouldn't generalize from adolescents to adults, it's always the teenage girls who seem to rack up the ridiculously large text-messaging bills.
posted by madcaptenor at 8:26 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


I guess they wouldn't have sold as many copies (or perhaps more wth do I know) if they called it 'Booty Calling".
posted by PenDevil at 8:28 AM on May 8, 2009


MoBootular.
posted by grubi at 8:28 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


damn that sucks. I need to rethink my comedy.
posted by grubi at 8:28 AM on May 8, 2009


please shoot me. or them. definitely them.

twice.
posted by mrstrotsky at 8:29 AM on May 8, 2009 [3 favorites]


That flirticle was flirtnnoying to flirtread.
posted by JauntyFedora at 8:30 AM on May 8, 2009 [3 favorites]


We say, "If you don't wanna date, abbreviate." Too many abbreviations is a turn off, so be very careful. If you don't have to abbreviate, then don't. For "OK," you can write the letter "k," and for "are" you can write the letter "r," but never the "great" with the 8 in the middle [gr8]. Please never do that.

oh my god please shut up
posted by Optimus Chyme at 8:30 AM on May 8, 2009 [56 favorites]


I am just entered the GENERATION GAP!
posted by Senator at 8:32 AM on May 8, 2009 [6 favorites]


"great" with the 8 in the middle [gr8].

For certain definitions of "middle".
posted by owtytrof at 8:33 AM on May 8, 2009 [34 favorites]


I regularly text one person-- my GF. She gets texts messages CONSTANTLY from people. Based on that scientific sample of 2, I'm going to say that women text more than men.
posted by empath at 8:33 AM on May 8, 2009


$4,800 Cell phone bill for teen texting

Note - this was a teenage girl

Parents, though, not so bright...
posted by gagglezoomer at 8:35 AM on May 8, 2009


Oops. try this link
posted by gagglezoomer at 8:36 AM on May 8, 2009


I sincerely hope that these women invested years of their lives into this project, combing the streets for interviews with single women, mortgaging their homes to fund the rigorous research programs to find out just what eligible bachelors like, nay, demand in their potential romantic partners texting abilities, and then living off of ramen and tap water while spending the final sleepless months before the publishing date neurotically editing and reediting the text of their book.

If so, then it'll be all the sweeter when they crash and burn for unleashing yet more wrongheaded shit into our infosphere.
posted by bunnytricks at 8:36 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


i h8ted ths
posted by orme at 8:38 AM on May 8, 2009 [5 favorites]


Good lord am I glad I already have a girlfriend. If this is what people my age are up to with regards to dating, I really dodged a bullet.
Olivia: I think flirtexting is all about empowering. It's all about you choosing your moment. Girls can choose their moment. Girls can decide what they want to get out of this text in order to ask him out, or is it a date, or for him to just meet up with you that night just to have a good laugh, and banter back and forth because you're bored at work. This is all that it's about.
Brings Homer's patriotic salute to the Americanized toilet at the embassy in Australia to mind, for some strange reason.
posted by SpiffyRob at 8:38 AM on May 8, 2009


Blatant self promotion of a vapid and useless book, check.

In my circle of friends the women are far and away better at txt than the men. I would guess this is fairly representative of the situation in the US today, though I could be wrong. Any straight woman that would need this book, her dating pool would most likely be much worse than her at thumbing out messages, negating any usefulness said tome might have. The only possibly valid market I can think of is older women dating younger men. However, their advice seems suspect, so even if the woman could use a book on text messaging, this probably isn't the right one to get if one wants to actually learn a valid social skill.
posted by jester69 at 8:39 AM on May 8, 2009


I am generally very defensive of all posts on the blue even if they seem a little pointless, but was this just posted so that we could all be annoyed and then discuss our annoyance, or was there more to it? Because I'm pretty sure that this is a) the reaction most of us will have and b) what most of us will choose to do.

I guess I just wish I could think of a single way to contribute significantly to this thread. But I can't. So I'll just go.

also these women annoyed me
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 8:41 AM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


I regularly text one person-- my GF. She gets texts messages CONSTANTLY from people. Based on that scientific sample of 2, I'm going to say that women text more than men.

But how do you know the people texting her are women...?

(stands well back from previously happy couple)
posted by patricio at 8:41 AM on May 8, 2009 [3 favorites]


i'll save everyone the money. No need to buy an entire book.

Use this as a template for any text messages you may send with the intention of grabbing a man's attention. Feel free to abbreviate as needed:

"Hi, I'm available for sex this evening. Are you busy?"
posted by empath at 8:42 AM on May 8, 2009 [19 favorites]


gay? check.
no cell phone? check.
wasted time reading this? check.
posted by hippybear at 8:42 AM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


according to the 2000 essays i read from NC 10th graders last month... this article is bullshit. and within two years the word "text" will be spelled as "txt" by nearly everyone.
posted by RedEmma at 8:43 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


Actaully, they're right on how you should never abbreviate it gr8. But yeah, certain definitions of "middle".

And it's been my experience that women text more often.
posted by qcubed at 8:43 AM on May 8, 2009


Last night, while waiting for Hell's Kitchen to return from commercial break, I told Mrs. Beese - a child of the 70s - about this thread. When I marveled at the contrast between our communication-saturated world and the one in those pictures, she came down squarely on the side of the 70s.

The subject of this post makes me suspect she might be right.
posted by Joe Beese at 8:44 AM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


And the other don't -- I think we've all been there -- is texting under the influence: TUI. [Laughs]. It's true. I think you're out with your girlfriends, you're having a drink, or it's a lonely Sunday evening and you just feel the urge to flirtext a guy. You're going to regret it the next morning.

*sniff* How true. Who here, in all goddamned honesty, can say that they haven't TUI'd a flirtext before. Did I say that right, oh fair maidens of yon flirtext lands?
posted by prufrock at 8:44 AM on May 8, 2009


So, the things you should avoid when abbreviating is writing "perf" [short for "perfect"] or "brill" [short for "brilliant"] back to a guy. That's fun for girls texting to each other, but not when you're trying to flirtext.

So true. Also, please don't use this crap in conversation. A few weeks ago, a girl I was on a date with referred to frozen yogurt as "fro yo." Part of me wanted to just walk away and do something fun on my own.
posted by Afroblanco at 8:47 AM on May 8, 2009 [4 favorites]


And the human experience marches on towards needing machine to mediate between one another for day to day experiences (says the guy behind the keyboard who has never met any of you bastards)
posted by edgeways at 8:48 AM on May 8, 2009 [6 favorites]


Why is a 77 better than a 69?

You get 8 more.


I think it's about empowering women

::click:::
[goes to test pattern]
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 8:48 AM on May 8, 2009


Exactly why is texting so popular, to the point where some folks would rather text a message on a phone keypad rather than just dial and talk? Help an old curmudgeon out here, wouldya?


(Feel free to be as condescending as you wish in your replies -- I completely understand)

posted by spoobnooble at 8:51 AM on May 8, 2009


Whatever happened to the good ol' days, when there was just "flirtdrinking" and "flirtfucking"?
posted by not_on_display at 8:51 AM on May 8, 2009 [7 favorites]


My male SO and his friends have embraced the txting as an efficient way to communicate information without danger of getting stuck yakking on the phone. It is rather like the stereotypical male ideal of shopping (enter store, purchase item, leave, no "shopping" required.) I assume this is the behavior that the authors are referencing.

However, I am not certain that they are correct in thinking that boys really want girls to flirt via text.

Baniuszewicz and Goldstein offer up a new etiquette for what they call the "A.C." world of dating -- or "after cells." The pair, who described themselves as "best friends" and "best flirtexters," spoke with CNN about their book, and the text message's role in society.

Shoot them, please. Gah.
posted by desuetude at 8:53 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


abbreviations irritate me. I think one of the reasons I never did it much when I was a highschool student on the internets was that I had learned to type already in elementary school. It was actual easier for me to type 'you' and 'your' then 'u' and 'ur'.

But with the 160 character limit in SMS messages (plus the greater difficulty in writing them) makes abbreviation make sense. I still managed to avoid it with my little 10-key cellphone and now I have a phone with a full qwerty keyboard, and after playing some goofy typing game I can type with my thumbs at 25wpm, so abbreviation still serves no purpose.

Also, get off mah lawn.
posted by delmoi at 8:54 AM on May 8, 2009


1. These people are sponsored by Virgin Mobile's Texter's Delight unlimited texting plan.

2. The one woman suggested her single mother should be flirtexting if she wants to get dates.

Ugh. Don't get me wrong, I text/email/twitter on my phone much more than I actually talk on it. Which is virtually never. But that's just because I don't like talking on the phone and this article is gross.
posted by misskaz at 8:55 AM on May 8, 2009


From the article: Debra: There's a lot of girls who will say, "He keeps texting me but I want him to call" ... I think there is a time when you need to put the cell down and pick up the phone if you really like someone.

I will tell you honestly, the idea of putting down the cell and picking up the phone confuses me.
posted by boo_radley at 8:55 AM on May 8, 2009 [28 favorites]


I will tell you honestly, the idea of putting down the cell and picking up the phone confuses me.

Yeah, apparently I'm doing it wrong too. I use the same device for texting and calling.
posted by kingbenny at 9:00 AM on May 8, 2009


I actually rather like "Brill" as an abbreviation for brilliant. I think even said out loud.
posted by empath at 9:02 AM on May 8, 2009


Exactly why is texting so popular, to the point where some folks would rather text a message on a phone keypad rather than just dial and talk? Help an old curmudgeon out here, wouldya?

Fellow old curmudgeon here (44) says that sometimes you don't want to talk, you just want to communicate something quickly. Or sometimes you're somewhere that talking would be uncool (in a lecture class, in a doctor's waiting room) but you can get away with texting (this latter is not me, but I've observed it).

As for the book itself, whatever. Non-books are the scourge of the modern age. At least this one isn't about dieting or cats.
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:03 AM on May 8, 2009 [4 favorites]


Nice to know the rest of the country has caught up to me using IRC to meet under genitally-minded men when I was 16.
posted by The Whelk at 9:03 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


spoobnooble:

As a recently converted txt user, I can perhaps offer some perspective.

A phone call is an interactive experience, there are social conventions that preclude calling someone, saying "go to the movies?" and then hanging up. Texting is good for short, succinct thoughts or queries. The person receiving the text can respond right away, or later when they are free, or call back if they think a converstation is needed. Calling up to say "whats going on" without any more thought of what to say in a phone call can lead to uncomfortable silence, whereas in txt communication it works just fine. One could say texting was more conducive to free form relaxed exchanges.

At least, that is why I now like txt messaging where before I didn't, it just plain works better for many situations in modern life.

on preview: what desuetude said...
posted by jester69 at 9:03 AM on May 8, 2009 [5 favorites]


I think flirtexting is all about empowering

These people are so infuriating. It's almost advertising, only it's so annoying it actaully drives me away from whatever they are peddling.

Isn't it pretty ironic to write a book about texting? Why not flirtext the damn thing to who ever cares using your fancy abbreviations for increased efficiency.
posted by a womble is an active kind of sloth at 9:05 AM on May 8, 2009


A sunny disposish will always see you through
When up above the skies are black instead of being blue
Mr. Trouble makes our faces roll on not a smile
Without his saying 'so long' (I'm on my way!)

It really doesn't pay to be a gloomy pill
It's absolutely most ridic, positively sil,
The rain may pitter patter
It really doesn't matter
For life can be delish
with a sunny disposish!

It really doesn't pay to be a gloomy pill
It's absolutely most ridic, positively sil,
The rain may pitter patter
It really doesn't matter
For life can be delish
With a sunny disposish!

posted by prufrock at 9:07 AM on May 8, 2009 [3 favorites]


Am I still allowed to say "brill" in ordinary conversation? I was under the impression that I was allowed to use obnoxious British slang as long as I keep U's out of "favorite" and "color" and work in equal amounts of Spanglish.
posted by Juliet Banana at 9:08 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm officially declaring a moratorium on the "-exting" suffix.

I am all about texting for sex education though. That needs to be available everywhere.
posted by giraffe at 9:11 AM on May 8, 2009 [4 favorites]


THE LAST 10 TEXT MESSAGES SENT FROM MY PHONE:

-That works.

-Ok

-What do you want for dinner?

-Wanna grab a drink first?

-I walked past them twice.

-Can you pick up some envelopes?

-Happy bdday!

-I think sushi.

-Lunch?

-Sure.

Clearly, I'm doing it wrong.
posted by The Whelk at 9:11 AM on May 8, 2009


Interesting. All these comments seem to be about the texting angle. More important IMO (d'you gals get that?), is that if you need a book to guide you in flirtation then you're already fucked. Bigger turn-off than "brill"? Pre-packaged and contrived "flirting."
posted by barrett caulk at 9:11 AM on May 8, 2009


I don't think Brill is obnoxious British slang, I think it's obnoxious 80s slang. I remember a lot of the kids at my high school using shortened terms like "brill".
posted by happyroach at 9:11 AM on May 8, 2009


"i am woman, hear me twit"
posted by pyramid termite at 9:13 AM on May 8, 2009 [4 favorites]


Indication #427 that I am a huge, ridiculous nerd: when I tried to parse the word 'flirtext,' the first thing that popped into my head was 'filext.'
posted by koeselitz at 9:18 AM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


You can also use the Facebook!
posted by Artw at 9:19 AM on May 8, 2009


Between having no privacy at work and trying to coordinate on a noisy metro (where texts often get through when the signal is too weak for voice) Mr. Arkham and I text, quite a lot.

Not so much with the flirtexting though. Or the sexting, even. Clearly, our marriage is doomed.
posted by JoanArkham at 9:19 AM on May 8, 2009


ne1469?

I gotta go with Demitri Martin, you can't put "ladies" in a sentence without sounding sleazy.
posted by Smedleyman at 9:20 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


And people ask me why I got rid of my cell phone...
posted by futureisunwritten at 9:23 AM on May 8, 2009


I know that's why I do it.
posted by Artw at 9:23 AM on May 8, 2009


Exactly why is texting so popular, to the point where some folks would rather text a message on a phone keypad rather than just dial and talk? Help an old curmudgeon out here, wouldya?

90% of my texts are something like "made appt at the vet Sat AM is that OK?" or "pick up wine for dinner with parents." My husband is horribly busy all day and loathes being interrupted by a phone call just to say one thing.

Also, if you argue over txt, your spouse can't later claim "I never said that!" not that we've ever done that *cough*
posted by desjardins at 9:27 AM on May 8, 2009


Exactly why is texting so popular, to the point where some folks would rather text a message on a phone keypad rather than just dial and talk?

I suspect that it's the same reason that email became so popular; it is a fast, controllable medium. You can think about what you are saying before you send it, and when receiving it, you have the choice of when you actually read it. Also, it can be done discreetly, which makes it nice for boring meetings.

I've started using Vlingo for texting. It's a pretty damn good voice recognition program that lets me speak to the phone and have it convert my words into text. Very useful for when I can't take the time to type.

Which, when I thought about it, I finally realized the silliness of using my phone, by speaking to it, to send a text message to someone, rather than just calling them.

Still, I can do it, so I do.
posted by quin at 9:27 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm confused why texting seems like such a big deal. My 80 year old grandmother does it.

Maybe its just me, but there seems to be a lot of these kind of breathless pieces of "journalism" about texting coming out of the US at the moment. Weird.

In any case, I think my gran is doing it wrong; she's not going out on loads of dates, at any rate.
posted by Lleyam at 9:28 AM on May 8, 2009


Their website also offers nauseating tips for men, on how to ask girls out. I have no idea who the 'girls' are who would fall for their suggestions.

When it comes to that, I'm squicked out by these women calling themselves 'girls' all the time, when it's been a lo-o-ng time since either one of them has seen the inside of a high school.

I also can't believe that it's CNN interviewing these women. I expect better from that network. I can't even imagine how they'd defend themselves for choosing this topic to cover. There is no substance under all this froth.

So, I'm annoyed too. I'm easily able to console myself, though, with the knowledge that they aren't going to sell many copies of this book, since their target audience is not going to take the time to sit down and read any book, let alone rubbish like this one.
posted by misha at 9:29 AM on May 8, 2009


Well, the Americans have only really discovered texting in these last few years, so it's all very new and strange to them. Why is it catching on here so late? No idea.
posted by Artw at 9:30 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


I actually rather like "Brill" as an abbreviation for brilliant. I think even said out loud.

Brill has been a standard word in Britain since the 80s, if not earlier. Or at least where I grew up, everything was brill. But don't take my word for it, check with JBR (definitely one of the best 'personal' websites still around.

Oh, and yeah, flirtext? Wevs. If I want to flirt with a guy, I'll do it in person as that's half the fun.
posted by Sova at 9:32 AM on May 8, 2009


Not any more annoying than twitter.

Just because the technology is available it doesn't mean you have to use it.

In 15 years, people will be laughng at all of this crap:

"Because back then it was this new technology, so for some reason everyone thought they had to use it, no matter how stupid the application was!"
posted by Zambrano at 9:33 AM on May 8, 2009


"Because back then it was this new technology, so for some reason everyone thought they had to use it, no matter how stupid the application was!"

I'm thinking of the telephones at every table in Cabaret myself.
posted by The Whelk at 9:35 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


It's just a little girly.
Right. I'm a bugger.
posted by Mblue at 9:35 AM on May 8, 2009


Well, the Americans have only really discovered texting in these last few years, so it's all very new and strange to them. Why is it catching on here so late? No idea.

Really? I had no idea. That clears up the why, I guess. Now, when will it stop?
posted by Lleyam at 9:37 AM on May 8, 2009


When the fuck is MeFi going to get on this and nominate our own set of "Experts" to be on these fucking ridiculous programmes?
posted by odinsdream at 9:39 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


It is rather like the stereotypical male ideal of shopping (enter store, purchase item, leave, no "shopping" required.)

I like to call it "surgical strike."
posted by Ironmouth at 9:39 AM on May 8, 2009 [3 favorites]


This article might have had an outside chance of being relevant in 2002.

or for him to just meet up with you that night just to have a good laugh,

I frequently text men at 1 AM on a Saturday night asking if they want to "just meet up that night to have a good laugh" at my apartment. They think I'm giving the old "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" but then they come over and I have BitTorrented episodes of Arrested Development and am wearing sweatpants and eating ice cream out of the box.

Then they don't answer when I text them the next day and tell them it was gr8.
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 9:43 AM on May 8, 2009 [16 favorites]


Sova, did you just type, "Wevs" for "whatever"? Wow. And I thought whatever was annoying.

While I'm being all old lady and get-off-my-lawnish, what is with this trend of leaving out the t in words these days? Is this an affectation that is only happening down here in the South, or are people really going all around saying, "Man-hah-in" for Manhattan and "swee-ind" for "sweetened"?
posted by misha at 9:43 AM on May 8, 2009


So true. Also, please don't use this crap in conversation. A few weeks ago, a girl I was on a date with referred to frozen yogurt as "fro yo." Part of me wanted to just walk away and do something fun on my own.

I use 'fro yo' and occasionally 'frogurt' when light hearted; I'm male, well educated and well spoken. I've sent about five texts in my life. I never really lived in California, so it's funny. Maybe it's derogatory to Californians. No need to be pompous about yogurt nomenclature.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 9:47 AM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


please no.
posted by molecicco at 9:51 AM on May 8, 2009


Last ten text messages I sent:

Kill!

Ya!

Meatballs

Pick it up!

What?!

?

Jesus

Hey

B home later

Satan lover
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:52 AM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


If he only texts you past 10 p.m. he's probably just looking to hook up. So girls, watch out for that.


Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring,

Bananaphone.
posted by CynicalKnight at 9:56 AM on May 8, 2009 [7 favorites]


I'm one of those old-fashioned people who thinks texting is great for alerts, not for a stream of consciousness all-day impromptu chat that interrupts my work, play, sleep, and everything else with 3,000 things-that-were-not-important.

(ya lol g33zr gt off lwn kthx.)
posted by rokusan at 9:57 AM on May 8, 2009


Sova, did you just type, "Wevs" for "whatever"? Wow. And I thought whatever was annoying.

Yes, I did. But you know what's worse? I've totally used it srsly in conversation with others.

While I'm being all old lady and get-off-my-lawnish, what is with this trend of leaving out the t in words these days? Is this an affectation that is only happening down here in the South, or are people really going all around saying, "Man-hah-in" for Manhattan and "swee-ind" for "sweetened"?

Um, what is a glottal stop? Where are you never to have heard this until recently? 'Bo'le' for 'bottle', 'car'oon' for 'cartoon', and so on are quite common in some places. But anyway this is all besides the point. Lates.
posted by Sova at 9:57 AM on May 8, 2009


So I guess I am saying: Fine ladies, if you want to impress me, stop fucking bothering me 300 times a day with annoying texts. That'll help.

(Yeah, I'm such a sweetie, I know.)
posted by rokusan at 10:02 AM on May 8, 2009 [4 favorites]


I totally abbreviate when texting but that's mostly because my gigantic bear claws tend to push four buttons at once even when I aim carefully and this makes texting itself an excruciating process that I need to finish before the urge to just destroy my phone hits.
posted by The Straightener at 10:06 AM on May 8, 2009


I use 'fro yo' and occasionally 'frogurt' when light hearted; I'm male, well educated and well spoken.

Let me guess - you also say "totes" instead of "totally." You think you're doing it ironically, but it's actually become part of your regular vocabulary.
posted by Afroblanco at 10:06 AM on May 8, 2009


Why is it {texting} catching on here {the US} so late? No idea.

Different price structures among wireless providers than other places. Texting has been available for years, but it used to be ruinously expensive.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:07 AM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


ATTENTION GUYS!! (especially hot ones)

*closes tab*
posted by Skot at 10:08 AM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


You think you're doing it ironically, but it's actually become part of your regular vocabulary.

This happened to me with "thanks for sharing." It was horrible. Mr. Sidhedevil had to taunt me out of it.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:08 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


Let me guess - you also say "totes" instead of "totally."
No, that has never happened.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 10:08 AM on May 8, 2009


Flirtexting? Meh. Cell phone novels? I'm in love.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:09 AM on May 8, 2009


Calling up to say "whats going on" without any more thought of what to say in a phone call can lead to uncomfortable silence

Life is essentially a chess game
posted by regicide is good for you at 10:11 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


Is this going to turn into one of those memes that spreads all over facebook, myspace, and tumblr?

Type out your last 10 sent texts!!1! No editing!!11!!!111one!!11
posted by kingbenny at 10:13 AM on May 8, 2009


I like the last ten text game:

took to vet owen gave ride had fever gave fluids and antiinflammatories seems much better already

found someone thx

I here!

Password *redacted

Password *redacted

Sure

Here

Kerry wood is a gigantic asshole.

Chicken nuggets!
posted by Kwine at 10:13 AM on May 8, 2009


Girls flirt with me on my cell phones all the time. And my email.

At least, I think they're girls. Somebody is offering to make my penis bigger.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:20 AM on May 8, 2009 [4 favorites]


The last thing I texted was "Feelin pretty tired tonight, thanks though." I like to think I just have a very unique way of flirtexting.
posted by naju at 10:20 AM on May 8, 2009


I had to learn how to send text messages to communicate with certain people who are best contacted through that medium. Grudging acceptance came when I learned how to turn off predictive text (which infuriates me) and how to capitalize letters on command. I probably would not have used text messaging at all had a reasonable selection of punctuation been absent.

Finding a semicolon amongst the lot was bittersweet; I shall forever suspect its inclusion was only for the transmission of a winking smiley.
posted by adipocere at 10:22 AM on May 8, 2009


I could probably replace half my texdts with generic RTS unit voice samples "I'm on my way!", "In position!" etc...
posted by Artw at 10:25 AM on May 8, 2009 [12 favorites]


(adding EXTRA letters is how we rock it now)
posted by Artw at 10:26 AM on May 8, 2009


"If you don't wanna date, abbreviate."

Never follow advice that rhymes.
posted by Forrest Greene at 10:26 AM on May 8, 2009 [12 favorites]


I will tell you honestly, the idea of putting down the cell and picking up the phone confuses me.

great story from my brother who is in his 20s and teaching public elementary school in brooklyn, about his students:

"when i found out they all carry two cell phones i was shocked. apparently they need one for calls, and a seperate one for texting and messaging services. i said something along the lines of 'when i was your age, i didn't even have one cell phone,' and they all responded 'oh, that's so sad. was your family real poor?'"
posted by jermsplan at 10:26 AM on May 8, 2009 [5 favorites]


Exactly why is texting so popular, to the point where some folks would rather text a message on a phone keypad rather than just dial and talk?

I don't know, but if it means people are conducting their banal conversations via text rather than on out loud & I don't have to listen to them, I'm all for it. Even if it measurably increases that chances that people will walk into me on the sidewalk because they are texting while walking, I will take that tradeoff.

/cell-phone induced misanthropy
posted by yarrow at 10:27 AM on May 8, 2009


Related: The True Price of SMS Messages (the "true price" (ie. soul damage from texting) is not covered in the article, however
posted by Burhanistan at 10:28 AM on May 8, 2009


Back in the olden days, when we doctors were writing with pens in paper charts, medicalese was a perplexing language of abbreviations, canned phrases, and three-letter acronyms. Now that everything in the hospital is done on the computer with templated notes, you never see this kind of language anymore. It's so amusing to see all of this replicated in txt form now. For the longest time, I thought LOL meant "little old lady." To me, "perf" still means "perforated," as in perforated intestine. If I ever got a 14 year old girlfriend, I would be seriously confused. Not to mention imprisoned...
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:37 AM on May 8, 2009 [4 favorites]


Hold up,

I can't understand what this "flirtexting" is until someone explains to me what exactly all this "flirting" nonsense is supposed to be.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 10:38 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


Cell phone novels? I'm in love.

The shortest story ever told.

"?"

"-"

"!"
posted by The Whelk at 10:40 AM on May 8, 2009


Why is it {texting} catching on here {the US} so late? No idea.

Different price structures among wireless providers than other places. Texting has been available for years, but it used to be ruinously expensive.


Yes. We texted all the time in Japan because it was included in our plan. I refuse to pay a flat fee for "we need eggs?" while our cell-to-cell calls within the family are free.

Oh, and texting during a meeting is always obvious. If you do this, and people don't say anything, they're being polite.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 10:41 AM on May 8, 2009


Here are my last 4 texts (I cleared out my text inbox and outbox recently):

Yes! Am going out at 5.30 so maybe 4.30?

Yes, definitely!

Yes, I wd love to talk tonight...8?

I have been meaning to call but have laryngitis. Poo.



I was on a Molly Bloom roll there until the last one.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:41 AM on May 8, 2009


My last 10 texts, just to show I walk the walk....

Sure.
I'm not home today.
Maybe later.
Busy, later pls.
Call me after work.
OK.
I did that yesterday.
Good luck.
Huh?
Ask later pls.


(Yeah, they actually end with periods. I'm anal, and periods are so easy that they're almost automatic on an iPhone.)
posted by rokusan at 10:42 AM on May 8, 2009


I gotta text. it's cheaper, much less intrusive, and means I get to save calls for when I really mean it.

Although here's one that'll really just piss you off if you're against texting - IM apps on phones. I can't wait 'til the Pre comes out, 'cause then, I'll never text again.
posted by saysthis at 10:44 AM on May 8, 2009


I frequently text men at 1 AM on a Saturday night asking if they want to "just meet up that night to have a good laugh" at my apartment. They think I'm giving the old "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" but then they come over and I have BitTorrented episodes of Arrested Development and am wearing sweatpants and eating ice cream out of the box.

ur mkng me hrny.
posted by rokusan at 10:45 AM on May 8, 2009


My favorite text message ever (from my wife):

The test is totally positive.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:50 AM on May 8, 2009 [3 favorites]


There's a pretty clear line between coordinating efforts via SMS and socializing via SMS. Well, it should be clear anyway. The former is darned useful and spares unnecessary intrusion whereas the latter is grounds for thumbscrews.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:51 AM on May 8, 2009


My last saved sent text:
On our way back.

That's from years ago, just before I turned off the "save messages" feature. Why would anyone have that turned on?
posted by odinsdream at 10:53 AM on May 8, 2009


That's from years ago, just before I turned off the "save messages" feature. Why would anyone have that turned on?

Addresses.
posted by saysthis at 11:00 AM on May 8, 2009


I frequently text men at 1 AM on a Saturday night asking if they want to "just meet up that night to have a good laugh" at my apartment. They think I'm giving the old "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" but then they come over and I have BitTorrented episodes of Arrested Development and am wearing sweatpants and eating ice cream out of the box.

NO TOUCHING!
posted by now i'm piste at 11:05 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


That's from years ago, just before I turned off the "save messages" feature. Why would anyone have that turned on?

Umm...this
posted by little e at 11:10 AM on May 8, 2009


Last Ten:

1pm
Grats. Have fun!
Helvetica.
Yes. About 6.
Me, Eric, some other random peops.
Comin tonight?
Drinks! Tonight!
Well, that was an improbable few minutes
Ok
Ha. I have an extra ticket too! I know too many cub fans.
posted by pokermonk at 11:10 AM on May 8, 2009


Apparently my texts are more verbose than most of yours. Here are my last 10 in reverse order, not counting Twitter updates:

Vet appt @1015 Saturday
Got your email. We're going for a bike ride but I'll call you later. I love you.
You make me happier than I've ever been in my life. I LOVE YOU!
Please make an appt for both of us
What might be good is something like crouching tiger hidden dragon but i am open. [to husband while he was at blockbuster]
Would you please pick up some toilet paper? I got the runs and we're almost out. I love you.
Sent email to work and Gmail
Theraflu packets for sore troat and chocolate soy ice cream or vanilla
Just viral, not strep, Do we have Mucinex @ home?
I understand if you don't want to talk but please let me know you are okay. I love you.
posted by desjardins at 11:10 AM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


You know what's kind of annoying and I dislike? People leaving me voicemail. Send a text or email me dammit!
posted by Artw at 11:15 AM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: Would you please pick up some toilet paper? I got the runs and we're almost out. I love you.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:19 AM on May 8, 2009


Cover album idea: Cosmo's Factory by Creedence. Long as I can see the light!

Maybe. Want to catch a beer? Where are you going to be?

Word. Let of know what you get into after that. I can meet you. Gah, I do that all the time.

How about thurs instead?

Or do you want to do both nights?

Tomorrow is fine if nothing else.

Yup.

Those dates are fine. Thanks.
posted by emelenjr at 11:19 AM on May 8, 2009


Voicemail is pointless anyway because you can see the number of the person who called you. Usually accompanied by some icon indicating you missed a call.

On topic, if you want to carry over the efficiency of abbreviation into the spoken world, pronounce abbreviations out loud. Sure, it takes pretty much the same energy to say "I'll bee are bee" as it would to say "I'll be right back", but on the other hand, it's really annoying.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:22 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


Where are you never to have heard this until recently? 'Bo'le' for 'bottle', 'car'oon' for 'cartoon', and so on are quite common in some places.

Granted, I don't get out much. It cuts into my Mefi time.
posted by misha at 11:29 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


A few weeks ago, a girl I was on a date with referred to frozen yogurt as "fro yo." Part of me wanted to just walk away and do something fun on my own.

Easy, there! We used to call frozen yogurt "fro yo" when I was a kid in the '80s. Non-ironically and I'm not from California. We did have abbreviations before the age of txt!
posted by escabeche at 11:29 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


Thanks Brandon - I really hesitated posting that one, but I thought I'd abide by the "no editing" rule. But thanks for pointing that out.
posted by desjardins at 11:40 AM on May 8, 2009


desjardins, I feel you. I'm pretty long-winded in texts. Last 10, most recent first:
-Hehe cool
-Hell yes
-I got harangued into going to dinner with grace ani jhett and shannon. Dyou want me to save room for dinner with you?
-2 is a bigger number so you want the 2001.3
-I do not know what those numbers mean
-You forgot, "in his kickass living room in his kickass house in his kickass neighborhood in his kickass city."
-Cheapest sketchy website has it for 324, not shipped
-Otherwise looks like best deal might be from that amazon dealer with a perfect rating you just used. Open box, like new, 350 shipped
-Ill keep looking though
-If youre ok with open box and a bit of cosmetic damage, amazon warehouse has it for 341 shipped
(we're buying a blu-ray player and sound system)

My sample data actually goes against everyone else in the thread. My boyfriend texts me a bunch of times per day, and also texts three of his friends, his mom, and his sister, all daily. I respond when he texts me, that's about it. The phone squicks me out whether it be texting or calling though, so I might not be the most representative.
posted by Night_owl at 11:41 AM on May 8, 2009


I think flirtexting is all about empowering.

Thx 2 e4ts of SusN B &thNy, MRgrt SangR, & Glria Steinm

*mwah*
posted by grubi at 11:41 AM on May 8, 2009


I never texted much until I went back to grad school. My classmates are texting fools and it's just an easier way to keep up with them. Although from time to time I have to just pick up the phone and call them. I usually start those conversations with, "Dude, this is way to complex for text."

Last 10 texts...
I hear that. Still not done with AMC paper. May cry if it's not done by tonight.
Consider it a deal.
Cool. Be safe! Tons of love.
Did you include your works cited page in the overall page count?
Frakking AWESOME! I just went from 14 to 18, 2 more to go.
You doinh trivia?
How do we get there?
Yup. Had to swing by Target. On our way in a sec.
Outside.
Just put a pizza in the oven. Maybe later.
posted by teleri025 at 11:42 AM on May 8, 2009


Cool lmk if you end up w free time. Btw i sunburned my arms a bit, u?
Ok im home. You can come here if u want to...
Ok
Have a good day at work?
Going to leave work soon... How about you? hang out?
Cool! Call u in a few
just got home...
no free beer fyi kind of boring... Open to other ideas?
Ok ill leave here in a few in case FRIEND makes it down
In going to bail on the track in a few and in to meshuggah
posted by jester69 at 11:44 AM on May 8, 2009


Ugh, they used the hideous word "empower" in reference to their noisome activities.

I'm sorry, I have a Lovercraft thing going today...
posted by Mister_A at 11:47 AM on May 8, 2009


A lot of people seem to be asking,"Why text, when you can just talk on the phone? What is the point? I don't understand."

I hate talking on the phone. It's awkward, and most conversations are just extended versions of something that can be said in 160 words or less anyway.I can also send pictures and videos, which are worth at least 1000 words each.

I have successfully avoided talking on the phone for weeks because of the marvelous invention of text messaging.

That said, if anyone even said the word "flirtexting" to me, we would not be friends. You might as well have told me I have to participate in a "webinar."
posted by louche mustachio at 11:48 AM on May 8, 2009 [9 favorites]


One of my last messages:

-They certainly don't sound very Satanic. They're all like "meheheheheh meh meh meh"
posted by louche mustachio at 11:52 AM on May 8, 2009


Granted, I don't get out much. It cuts into my Mefi time.

i thought we talked about abbreviating
posted by grubi at 11:54 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


Text messaging keeps me from being the jerk who's standing in line and chatting obnoxiously on my cell phone. And that's enough for me. I use my web presence to do my flirting for me, and that's worked well enough so far.
posted by redsparkler at 11:54 AM on May 8, 2009


You guys are either really terse, or I'm incredibly verbose. I tend to think it's the latter. But seriously. The last two-

-dude a pigeon just flew into my room and then flew back out and then an hour later another fucking one flew in and smashed into the wall and I could barely get it to fly back out. you think there will be more? what the FUCK is going on help

-also I asked and apparently it is illegal to keep your own organs in jars these days, but they said they'd take a picture of it after they remove it. And I told them you'd wanted to make a hat for it and they looked at me for a very long time and now I don't think I can go back there

Nobody SAID texts had to be concise. And I guess I am officially in the uncool generation. Damn you kids and your music.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 11:55 AM on May 8, 2009 [4 favorites]


Last ten text messages I sent:

!!!111111111111111111111

sejklalasejkasejklajklsef

asefasefseafs3 lool.

2329084789ujhj23o

11111111111111111111

dasasasasasasawesdfse

seffefefefseffsefsefsefses

sefsefsefsefsefsefsesefse

9999999999999999999999

1111111111111111111
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:56 AM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


Last Ten (spelling and punctuation intact):

* I know. I don't want her to bug me about lisa [Lisa's my wife]
* Lisa can't do it BUT I CAN
* Trivia night tonight... Must defend crown...
* I know. And it ends about 830. I can't make that.
* Mondays, ya know
* I might be strung out on smack and cough syrup [An excuse why I can't make it to a thing]
* No.
* And don't worry about bringing beer -- we got tons.
* Sure. Bring over hockey and we can rock the PS2.
* Then I gotta call my mother to tell her about a medical diagnosis I have.

...

I'm totally getting laid tonight.
posted by grubi at 11:58 AM on May 8, 2009


My most recent one is probably the only one of interest to anybody here. I, too, text in full sentences.

-Heh. By the way, we should finish out AD Season 2. I really want to hear George Michael say "I think she might be re... retarded."
-fucker [Thanks, eamondaly!]
-Count us in! What should we bring?
-30%. I've ordered nothing.
-Hey buddy, were you still thinking about having people over?
-Time to get stomped in round 2. Yay?
-Just sayin... these games have been long in the final minutes.
-Plenty of time, they're not done yet.
-Still plenty of game yet.
-What?

(Yes, that is me, a Celts fan attempting to talk my Bulls fan friend off a ledge in the closing minutes of Game 7. I'm much too friendly with my rivals, I suspect.)
posted by SpiffyRob at 12:03 PM on May 8, 2009


And, ish, that's a typo here, not in the original message. Obviously George Michael delivers that masterstroke line in AD Season 3.

COME ON!
posted by SpiffyRob at 12:04 PM on May 8, 2009


I'll come over for 'Arrested Development'. How can one say no to that?
posted by grubi at 12:07 PM on May 8, 2009


Want to come over and eat some bacon?
Hey I am alive and stuff but I am getting ready to go somewhere so I will talk to you later
Hey I am not dead
password is penis69 Not sure if it's lowercase or caps
It's really awesome. How's things there?
Hey I am still alive
r u lost?
I drank the rest of the iced tea and started riding my bike!!!!!! I think I'm in Vienna!!!!!!!!
I like boobs
They are nice. I just thought you should know. Happy Friday!
posted by little e at 12:09 PM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


(Because my mom assumes I've met an untimely demise if I don't at least text or email every single day to confirm my continued wellbeing.)
posted by little e at 12:15 PM on May 8, 2009


1. VZW 411 SEARCH: FIVE GUYS BURGER AND FRIES
2. Sorry-can't do lunch. Project due COB and I'm years away from done. Next week? Sushi.
3. Yeah
4. VZW 411 SEARCH:TRANQUIL BAR AND BISTRO
5. Thanks
6. I have a mtg tonight-can you get boys?
7. RU here somewhere?
8. VZW 411 SEARCH: AERO GYMNASTICS
9. You ready for us? Walking over now.
10. We need a bag of onions and mint
posted by njbradburn at 12:17 PM on May 8, 2009


Between this shit and tweeting, I've found myself standing on a porch in my ratty bathrobe, mouth opening and a "get off my lawn!" on its way.
posted by papercake at 12:18 PM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


(Because my mom assumes I've met an untimely demise if I don't at least text or email every single day to confirm my continued wellbeing.)

You texted your mom "I like boobs" and "password is penis69" ?
posted by desjardins at 12:20 PM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


VZW 411 SEARCH

Huh, you can text to 411 instead of calling? I have Verizon and I'd be interested in this. Do they charge? What's the code?
posted by desjardins at 12:23 PM on May 8, 2009


I started doing my last ten, but it seems I have fallen prey to inappropriate late-night texts more than I thought :)
posted by greta simone at 12:24 PM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


Ok, checking my text log I saw I can't post my last 10 because they're all from the Chicago MeFi meetup the other night, and I kept texting my husband about what dorks you people are.
posted by misskaz at 12:25 PM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


KevinSkomsvold: Ah, you've been BUTTTEXTING! I've been doing this for years, as the BlackBerry just goes in a pocket. This morning, however, I received a horrifying call from my boss: "I think your blackberry dialed me by mistake this morning, because I could hear you..." He paused and made me ask what exactly he heard. Then he snickered. Quick check of call log showed that it was 8:25 and I was in my office talking to my assistant--nothing inappropriate. But for a few fantastically fearsome moments it could have been during a duet with Pink, racing down the parkway from the Starbucks drive-thru. "You and yur hand tonight!"

Finally programmed convenience key to Keyboard Lock.
posted by njbradburn at 12:26 PM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


desjardins : I call 411 and have them send me a text of the # and address for programming into phone. But that would be so cool!
posted by njbradburn at 12:29 PM on May 8, 2009


We need a bag of onions and mint

That there's a hell of a weekend you got planned.
posted by grubi at 12:29 PM on May 8, 2009


KevinSkomsvold: "Last ten text messages I sent:
!!!111111111111111111111
sejklalasejkasejklajklsef
asefasefseafs3 lool.
2329084789ujhj23o
"

AKA, assxting.
posted by boo_radley at 12:39 PM on May 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


Race & Carlisle
Nah
Splash splash
Well, that's almost as good.
Anything creative?
Goodbye, ire!
Bacon leek fritatta?
Liebe
Going go gym, home by 7.
If the fork fits...

Not very representative, though, as I frequently have considerably longer-winded discussions with one friend.
posted by desuetude at 12:39 PM on May 8, 2009


You texted your mom "I like boobs" and "password is penis69" ?

Those two weren't to my mom. The password was for the wireless internet at my parents' house, though...I think my mom picked it. She's a fun mom.
posted by little e at 12:41 PM on May 8, 2009


Addresses.

For sent messages?
posted by odinsdream at 12:43 PM on May 8, 2009


I could probably replace half my texdts with generic RTS unit voice samples "I'm on my way!", "In position!" etc...

I'm going to start using those in bed, including Starcraft's "Job finished!".
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 12:45 PM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


I was going to post my last 10 received txts, but they're far more revealing than my outgoing ones.
posted by desjardins at 12:52 PM on May 8, 2009


Another verbose texter here. Behold, my last 10, in reverse chronological order, verbatim:

Sure, you can call or text her.
Ok, I'll give you a call then.
We were hoping around 7. What's good for you?
Still on for dinner?
When you get home can you go ahead & start the stew heating so it will be ready quicker when we go to Davids? Love you!
Were you very late to work?
OK. Did you get your medicine?
How are you?
Sure, just give me a call whenever.
Weather may not be good for BBQ wanna make something else?
posted by owtytrof at 12:53 PM on May 8, 2009


I have a lurking fear that text are like telegrams and you get charged by the word. I do not text all that often, but I have a friend who does and he has corrupted me.

Last 10, reverse chronological order.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will need to hear of this.
What is pollo number
oh god it has been mer mer mer all night from them
Oh my god no! he will be crushed
Meh I will pour a gin and tonic on the curb in her honor. :(
Hey dude you going to the office party?
cool they wanted to make sure you rsvped
poor paolo. :( I will make sure april knows she is the one who asked
dude while you sleep the panther ring is watching over you hug hug winn goes to sleep
posted by winna at 1:05 PM on May 8, 2009


Verbosity of SMS messages is usually dependent on the existence of a QWERTY keypad.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:06 PM on May 8, 2009


Suddenly I have this sneaking feeling that my life is quite a bit more sordid than the average mefite's life.
====

What? no way

Wtf lame

I sorry

You can take your dissapointment out on me when i show up

You can face fuck me until i beg for mercy

Also remember that he is 19

OOH SHINY OBJECT! i was the same way.

Lol hey dont laugh it could happen to me.

Lol serious?

You gonna meet him anyway?
posted by Avenger at 1:17 PM on May 8, 2009


I can't find my last 10 because I have an iphone, which doesn't have a Sent messages thing, and I'm too lazy to figure that shit out.

But my last two are:

"Well that was weird. I'm on my way something really odd just appropriately happened."

and

"No I am here! Front or back, your choice."
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:20 PM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


To reiterate, I have an I-phone.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:21 PM on May 8, 2009


The only ones I've sent are just to Flickr & Twitter. But I've gotten some good ones recently:

Can openers puncture lids like nails puncture tires.

no texting during dinner!!!!!!!!!!

Awesome! are y'all almost here? Think I sent that one & it bounced back, actually

Hey y'all Wicker man movie (the original) and bonfire this Friday! Happy pre-Beltane!

Home depot has 5" perennials 4 for $10!

And that's it - new phone. But my son just called and I told him to leave me a note if he went anywhere. "Leave a note?" he said, "I'll just call you."
"Or you could text me!" I said, "I know how now!"
"Texting is haggard," he said disapprovingly, "I'm not texting my MOM."
posted by mygothlaundry at 1:25 PM on May 8, 2009


Behold my dullness! And opacity! And my troubling penchant for calling people "buddy!" (I redacted all the ones about face-fucking, though.)

Yeah! Leaving work in 5.
You feel like getting a beer?
Okay, love, see you then! Have fun!
We're on the island, buddy! Possible mid-week game night pending.
Major League-Bob Uecker!
Thanks, buddy!
Rough day today?
Can do, buddy.
Gal's feeling better so we're grabbing a drink tonight fyi!
Eating tacos yet?
posted by Skot at 1:32 PM on May 8, 2009


MY LAST FIVE TEXTS

"oh my gosh i did so many drugs and drank so much i am a hip cool young person"
"monkey cheese pirates lmao i am so random"
"i have this sneaking feeling that my life is quite a bit more sordid than the average mefite's life i am a hip cool young person"
"lmao monkey cheese pirates did so many drugs and drank so much they are hip cool young people"
"hey check it i am going to publish my boring texts in this thread because the idea of flirtexting is not horrible enough"
posted by Optimus Chyme at 1:38 PM on May 8, 2009 [8 favorites]


Burhanistan: Verbosity of SMS messages is usually dependent on the existence of a QWERTY keypad.

Yes. And people who text are usually rank amateurs at keypad entry.

I'll have you know that my Nokia 6301 has miniscule keys, and I routinely write novel-length texts. Some part of me gets a weird thrill knowing that people are going to read my texts and say, “Jesus, how long did it take him to type out the word 'obsequious' and the phrase 'altogether nonchalant'? And what the hell possessed him to spell out all the numbers?”

I think it's a kind of rebellious urge deep within my soul to insist that I won't let SMS corrupt my ability to communicate fully.
posted by koeselitz at 1:43 PM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


Potomac Avenue: "No I am here! Front or back, your choice."

Yeah, I send that text message so often that I just keep a copy of it ready to forward to anybody I need to.
posted by koeselitz at 1:47 PM on May 8, 2009


You texted your mom "I like boobs?"

One of the first things every mother learns is that their child likes boobs.
posted by rokusan at 1:58 PM on May 8, 2009 [5 favorites]


I have a teeny phone with only a numeric keypad like koeselitz, and I don't have the word predict thingie turned on. I just get a little icky feeling inside if I type "u" or "4" as abbreviations, or especially "b4". *shudder*
posted by Night_owl at 2:03 PM on May 8, 2009


Optimus Chymes real last 5 texts:

"if i told you that god is dead would you hold it against me?"
"no this is todd"
"I met you at sarah's party remember?"
"you dont even know how to spell 'restraining' stupid"
"sheeple"
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:14 PM on May 8, 2009 [6 favorites]


VZW 411 SEARCH

Huh, you can text to 411 instead of calling? I have Verizon and I'd be interested in this. Do they charge? What's the code?


You can use GoogleSMS: send a text with the query to 466453 (google), or Goog411 (800-466-4411 aka 800-goog-411).
posted by MikeKD at 2:57 PM on May 8, 2009


But anyways, the wife and I both have the Google Talk client on our Blackberry handsets and use that for back and forth when we're away from each other. We're in the now!
posted by Burhanistan at 3:00 PM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


“Jesus, how long did it take him to type out the word 'obsequious' and the phrase 'altogether nonchalant'?

I am part of your club as well.
posted by desuetude at 3:33 PM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


Because I work 24 hour shifts, I use texts a lot when at work, or, at least, pretending to work. I also like to use SMS for hooking up, because I really don't want my coworkers, nor the people in Harris Teeter, to hear me say "Why, yes, 8:30 sounds like a reasonable time for a few beers and some sexy time." But maybe if I did, I'd get a few more dates?

From most recent (apologies for the boring conversations I seem to be having today, but the night is young!):
-What are you having?
-Very. Now I am eating tasty leftovers.
-I did. It was good.
-Nomnom food.
-Ok.
-Ok where are we meeting?
-Nice yo.
-Ah so what time is pool?
-Oops?
-Holy shit. I just went to Britt's and ate 3 donuts before I even left the store.
posted by sara is disenchanted at 4:55 PM on May 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


Last ten:

Me 2
Aww.
Weds is go!
Aw. Missed this. Leaving.
@copa d'oro
So, no indo 2nite?
Want cabbage?
We live 2 cockblock
We told her u were into steampunk
Cat thought u were hot
posted by klangklangston at 6:21 PM on May 8, 2009


To our credit, we didn't really tell Cat that Rustin was into steampunk, in part because despite his affected sideburns, he's really not.
posted by klangklangston at 6:24 PM on May 8, 2009


Wow, I'm tired. I thought you meant your pet cat thought someone was hot, and I thought that was strange, because my cat never commented on the attractiveness of my dates. He did sometimes claw at the heads of my overnight guests.
posted by desjardins at 9:25 PM on May 8, 2009


I managed to impress a new friend by sending him an email several pages long from my keypad nokia phone. All spelling and punctuation present and correct, of course.
posted by jacalata at 11:49 PM on May 8, 2009


Unfortunately, some of my last 10 are SEXTS. I wonder how Olivia and Debra would feel about that.
posted by munyeca at 7:35 AM on May 9, 2009


Last 7 from GHC:

- oh dear. You need a training montage or law sensei.

- Hey hey. A new Danish restaurant opened on Old Brompton St. Let's check it out.

-ME WAN ME GAL, DEM GET CRAZY FROM YOU KNOW DEM DAINTY

-2nd verse: Yes I killed a man in Texas / I don't get off telling lies / And if I beats a man for something / Aint't gonna stop until he dies.

-In the words of KRS-1: WE CLEAR EM OUT, CLEAR EM OUT

-You should have called me, Dr Sexton Partfiend PhD.

-Woite Pawah!
posted by Geezum Crowe at 10:05 AM on May 9, 2009


I am discovering that I am extremely voyeuristic when it comes to reading all of your texts. I want more. I'm making up backstories for you all.

Is this what twitter does?

In the interest of sharing
Here we go:
(all typos and grammtical errors in tact, mostly boring work stuff, sorry)

-If you could meet me at johnsons between 1130 and noon that would be cool. Its on Rivington just east of essex
-You just finished now? At 10 at nite? That's insane. I'm not in the space tomorrow, but I should be able to take care of stuff Monday.
-I don't know, do you think you should be?
-Cool.
-Leave tues 12th returning June 13, saturday
-Just in case U don't get the email Can you check the cameras? I don't have my key and I hear musiccoming from the bar
-K
-Ok, no prob. Can we plan on tomorrow?
-Groovy, I must've missed you monday-I was upstairs hanging wpaper, I have no receipts, I was just checking in, you seem to have things under control. Carry on.
-Hey just checking in. Don't know if you've been in yet this week but I know on Mon we only had bout half keg of Hoe and not sure if pint glasses have been got
posted by newpotato at 12:58 PM on May 9, 2009


put together my last ten sound like an adventure ;p

- OK I am ready. shall i come now?
- super! thank you. shall i knock at your door?
- that sounds nice but I need sometime to wake up and get ready. ha ha i must have been tired as I just got up. Is 45 mins too late for you or even a bit earlier? (lunch invite from nice neighbour way too early after last night's events)
[the previous evening]
-what is the name of the bar
-I will be leaving soon, *name redacted* gave me some directions but would appreciate a call when you have a moment because I am going to feel weird not knowing anyone or the location
- *grin*
- thank you for the dinner invitation. I will join you this evening (to boss)
-Yes going out with [name redacted] etc tonight. tying keys to neck (last dinner, lost keys and ended up having to crash on proj. mgr's couch)
-bye have a great weekend
- having just received my instructions i am dutifully informing you of my rather scruffy attendance of todays dinner (to proj. mgr)

{prays nobody who received any of these lurks on Mefi}
posted by infini at 6:12 AM on May 10, 2009


Every text message I have ever received has been from my cell phone carrier, acknowledging that they've been paid.

This had better not lead to sex.
posted by dilettante at 4:01 PM on May 10, 2009


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