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Let's get this thing goin' before cats start dyin'.
June 5, 2009 6:23 PM   Subscribe

Yo. This is Ray. He's representing P-Town. Videoing from the road. He needs to get a job, dog.
posted by miss lynnster (25 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

Portland? That's not P-Town, this is P-Town.
posted by zippy at 6:34 PM on June 5, 2009 [13 favorites]

Boy, Jim Anchower is going to have some tough competition.
posted by mhoye at 6:34 PM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]

Wow, everything really went to shit after he left....
posted by HumuloneRanger at 6:35 PM on June 5, 2009

Could he apply to be the boss of that chick from yesterday?

//Ugh. I need some sleep.
posted by Wild_Eep at 6:37 PM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

I already have a job, but watching that video and leaving this comment makes me feel like I should be out looking for a second job.
posted by orme at 6:40 PM on June 5, 2009

As a resident of Portland, I would like to request that you not refer to my home as "pee town", it's only some parts of Burnside and Old Town that smell like that. And it's totally understandable, I mean it's not like I see YOU out there putting out free portapottys for everyone to use.
posted by idiopath at 6:43 PM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]

Last news I heard about Ptown, UGC was hiring. Then everyone started singing and I tuned out.
posted by Lemurrhea at 6:50 PM on June 5, 2009

As Zippy pointed out, P-Town is not a place to which Ray would admit familiarity.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:02 PM on June 5, 2009

I kind of understand why Ray didn't last very long as a health insurance company phone rep dealing with over-sixty-fives.
posted by longsleeves at 7:26 PM on June 5, 2009

Was it: "I graduated Cum Laude, dawg", or "I graduated Cum Laude Dog"? My vote is the latter.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:26 PM on June 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

Will he post a video of him eating the cats if he doesn't get a job?
posted by WeekendJen at 7:55 PM on June 5, 2009

posted by parmanparman at 8:13 PM on June 5, 2009

Obviously fake. There's no such thing as a Zach Randolph fan.
posted by msalt at 8:28 PM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]

Yeah. At a poetry slam at AS220 in Providence, someone declared brashly, "I was born and raised here in P-Town!"

He turned a bright shade of pink when it was explained to him that Providence was not P-Town, and what sorts of people took pride in living and visiting P-Town.

(Actually, it is a wonderful place to visit, even if you're not "in the lifestyle." There are some wonderful shops, galleries, restaurants and museums, and if you go in the off-season, early spring or late fall, there are zero crowds and traffic to contend with. Leave the kids at home, tho.)
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:58 PM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]

He did not give any contact information - fail.
posted by Cranberry at 9:17 PM on June 5, 2009

There were no jobs in Portland before the economy went down the shitter. Must suck to live there now and be out of work. Just suck it up and move to a town with a real economy, e.g., Seattle.

His sister is hawt though.
posted by bardic at 9:45 PM on June 5, 2009

I want Animal Control to come to that house when the neighbors complaiin of the interior stench, only to discover that those two adorable cats have decided that dining on Cum Laude Dawg was a hidden treasure right there in their own home!
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 9:59 PM on June 5, 2009

P-Town is not a place to which Ray would admit familiarity.

well, not dressed like that he wouldn't.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 10:08 PM on June 5, 2009

Just suck it up and move to a town with a real economy, e.g., Seattle.

Your favorite city sucks.
posted by msalt at 10:10 PM on June 5, 2009

I love P-Town (in the off-season, at least). But I've never been to Portland. Oregon, that is.

going in July for the meetup though!
posted by rtha at 11:13 PM on June 5, 2009

In Portland we used to call that: "The Gresham factor." You could always find the Gresham factor hanging around American Cowgirls at 1 a.m. on a Thursday night.
posted by whimsicalnymph at 11:19 PM on June 5, 2009 [2 favorites]

Oh, and his video is awesome. Although he won't find a job because Portland's entire economy is based on bartenders and servers who work and eat at each other's restaurants, keeping everyone afloat. Change careers Ray! Time to learn some mixology...
posted by whimsicalnymph at 11:22 PM on June 5, 2009

My stomach is slightly queasy, I am laughing uncomfortably, and in the end, I am a little more depressed than I was before the video. Obviously, what I have just witnessed here must be labeled Art.
posted by Mizu at 1:10 AM on June 6, 2009

PDX represent! wooo!

I'd hire this guy over Susan. At least I know he has actual skills! He can 1) work on a car 2) sell motorcycle related items 3) use a phone 4) drive 5) use social media.
posted by vespabelle at 1:26 AM on June 6, 2009

" graduated Cum Laude Dawg?"

"Yes. He was my pupil. I taught him everything - sharpshooting, reconnaissance, all the secrets of crafting deadly explosives. I had hoped he would in turn teach at the academy one day, but his mind was only driven by greed and cruelty. Cum Laude Dawg went his own way, cutting a wide swath of blood and anguish, and you must also know that he is the man who killed your parents."
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:47 AM on June 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

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