I opened this expected to see "Banned -- account deleted." Then I saw the poster's name. Now I'm just confused. posted by Methylviolet at 12:34 PM on June 30 [10 favorites has favorites]
Oh wow, thanks for the high school flashback. I always knew to avoid people in either Big Dogs or Big Johnson t-shirts. posted by Dr-Baa at 12:34 PM on June 30
This is the kind of dorky t-shirts Marge Simpson would design when trying to launch her e-commerce business that would ultimately fail when Homer launches Springfield's equivalent to T-shirt Hell. posted by Foci for Analysis at 12:34 PM on June 30
I opened this expected to see "Banned -- account deleted." Then I saw the poster's name. Now I'm just confused.
That's it. It took almost 5 years and over 3000 posts, but Optimus Chyme finally realized the time was right to make the spam post he originally signed up for. posted by malphigian at 12:41 PM on June 30 [10 favorites has favorites]
Wow~ I haven't seen Big Dog shirts since college. Thanks for the flashback! :-) posted by garnetgirl at 12:43 PM on June 30
I don't wear anything but Big Dog clothing. I feel it helps me stand apart from Big City fashion so I can revel in my own independence. posted by scrutiny at 12:45 PM on June 30
Dudes all the spammy stuff is to give context to the actual meat of the post, which is found by clicking the blue words that say "some juvenile losers think Big Dogs is some kind of joke." But he couldn't just have a single link post that said "Ha! Something Awful is making fun of Big Dogs T-Shirts Check it out lol" Hello! posted by ND¢ at 12:48 PM on June 30 [1 favorite has favorites]
When I look back on the stupid fads that accompany each new generation of youth--Pet Rocks, Pogs, Pokemon, other trends of less alliterative title--I sometimes feel the start of a slow smirk of superiority on my face. But then I remember--or more accurately, I am unable to forget--that white cotton-synthetic horror that I was once so proudly displayed to the world. THE EMPIRE BITES BACK, it proclaimed, in bold yellow letters fronting an image of what, the shirt informed me, was DOG VADER. Or perhaps BARK VADER--each possible pun seems no more or no less horrible than the previous, but none offer a chance for redemption.
I like to think this is a memory that is vital--to keep me humble, to remind me of past failures and of the many things I have achieved since filling that vacuum of self awareness. But at night, in the dark and the quiet... I still feel that soft polyblend embrace, and know that, more than anything... I am alone, and that sometimes... I shall fail. posted by Benjy at 12:51 PM on June 30 [9 favorites has favorites]
Dudes all the spammy stuff is to give context to the actual meat of the post, which is found by clicking the blue words that say "some juvenile losers think Big Dogs is some kind of joke." But he couldn't just have a single link post that said "Ha! Something Awful is making fun of Big Dogs T-Shirts Check it out lol" Hello!
Dudes all the spammy stuff is to give context to the actual meat of the post, which is found by clicking the blue words that say "some juvenile losers think Big Dogs is some kind of joke." But he couldn't just have a single link post that said "Ha! Something Awful is making fun of Big Dogs T-Shirts Check it out lol" Hello!
posted by ND¢ at 12:48 PM on June 30
This is mostly true - I think the Big Dog parodies at that link are spot on - but I also find the actual, real, manufactured t-shirts - slaved over by designers and marketers and executive vice-presidents and sweatshop employees alike - to be amazing pieces of modern cultural detritus. Whole factories are in motion, people are growing and harvesting cotton and driving trucks around and drawing anthropomorphic Saint Bernards in Illustrator so some guy in Shinsplint County KY can inform you that HE JUST FARTED DEAL WITH IT posted by Optimus Chyme at 12:56 PM on June 30 [33 favorites has favorites]
Excellent use of the [more inside] feature. I would never have appreciated Big Dogs mockery without front page linkage to the actual website. posted by solipsophistocracy at 12:56 PM on June 30 [1 favorite has favorites]
Actually, it's probably not. Big Dogs has been around for ages, and this has been their MO pretty much since the beginning. They're like the Chris Farley of clothes. posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:00 PM on June 30 [4 favorites has favorites]
Having said that, just the fact that you thought this was sarcastic is a good sign that maybe people will start wearing "HOLD MY BEER WHILE I KISS YOUR GIRLFRIEND" T-shirts ironically. posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:02 PM on June 30
posted by Astro ZombieThis has been the most clever example of an deep-cover spammer I have ever seen.
You know who else 'did that'? NOPE, NOT HITLER. posted by gman at 1:05 PM on June 30
non-irony is the new irony. (posted ironically. maybe.) posted by rude.boy at 1:07 PM on June 30
Without a bunch of rednecks fixing your cars and your plumbing and fighting your wars none of you hipsters would have time to snark at this lame shit.
Part of me wants to psychoanalyze the Big Dogs phenomenon. What is it saying when you see humor and cultural understanding of I JUST FARTED DEAL WITH IT.
Is it mere anti-intellectualism?
Or is it indicative of one that is aspirational and desires acceptance ("I don't wish to fart. Actually, I wish I were better than I am."), mixed with a recognition of one's own social faux pas ("But I do fart from time to time.") and a negative experience in the past ("One time, I farted and I was shunned for it by those that do not understand my need to fart."), so now one angrily rejects the social niceties and demands that others accept him anyway ("I JUST FARTED DEAL WITH IT.")
It's as if you're saying, "I would like to be a better person, but I can't, and I hate you for your smug sense of disappointment and unwillingness to accept me as I am, so I JUST FARTED DEAL WITH IT."
This was a hilarious post. And if these shirts become hip and ironic, then the homeless will become the hippest people in my town. posted by gabecal at 1:13 PM on June 30 [2 favorites has favorites]
I'm puzzled that Big Dog is still around and that people think it's worth the time it takes to ridicule. Is this just satire target practice? posted by chairface at 1:28 PM on June 30
85%, people. There's still time... posted by hermitosis at 1:29 PM on June 30
no no. this is snobby leftist elitism intentionally trying to turn Big Dog t shirts into the next hipster fashion statement. we're doing for Big Dog what David Lynch and people with taste buds did for PBR. we're making it so lowbrow and mockworthy that kids in williamsburg will start wearing them "ironically." posted by shmegegge at 1:31 PM on June 30 [1 favorite has favorites]
If I want to communicate my hip, in-your-face, modern attitude I’ll stick my dull pencils where the sun don’t shine while grooving with my ultracool kick ass woofers.
Fart jokes only seem appropriate, or at least less offensive, in more intimate settings, or hell, even acquaintances at least. It’s sort of like peeing in the shower. You don’t so much mind it if it’s yours or your s/o’s but it goes off the rails in a public shower if its strange pee. posted by Smedleyman at 1:41 PM on June 30
IN A BITTER WIND
A SOLITARY MONK BENDS FARTS
TO WORDS CUT IN STONE posted by everichon at 2:00 PM on June 30
So wait ... this is the same Big Dogs brand that's been a staple of outlet malls in the Southeast since I was in high school?
It is. It really is. This is the kind of t-shirt that the relative you rarely ever saw would give you on your mid-80s birthday, when what you really wanted was the much cooler Ocean Pacific or Panama Jack t-shirt. posted by grabbingsand at 2:02 PM on June 30 [1 favorite has favorites]
May I have a cheeseburger, please? posted by snofoam at 2:03 PM on June 30
Want to hear about my
AMERICAN RECOVERY AND REINVESTMENT ACT? posted by mazola at 2:07 PM on June 30
Still missing the 'stupid' flag. posted by fixedgear at 2:17 PM on June 30
The words you're looking for are
"FLAG AND MOVE ON" posted by sanko at 2:17 PM on June 30
America's image abroad would improve immeasurably if US tourists stopped wearing those t-shirts in Europe. Ditto for the camo shorts. Geez. posted by Artful Codger at 2:25 PM on June 30 [1 favorite has favorites]
My employer (the Canadian Government) has blocked that website as 'tasteless'. Guess I'll have to wait until I get home.
(What, it's 32 minutes to Canada Day and I just wrote an epic, quite masterful e-mail to about 15 people so I thought I deserved a bit of a distraction... I do have just one more e-mail to write though before close of day....) posted by Flashman at 2:30 PM on June 30
Some of you might know this story. Earlier this year, the founder of T-Shirt Hell sends out a newsletter stating that he's done. His staff can't handle the threats from all the 'haters'. Basically, he claimed he had created the biggest t-shirt site on the internet and made a whack load of cash, but wasn't willing to risk his staff's safety any longer. Anyone interested in getting their paws on his t-shirts better act quickly. Like a month or more later, he sends this letter out. Fuckin' genius. (letter may offend some) posted by gman at 2:38 PM on June 30 [2 favorites has favorites]
Man, this is better than those haiku and I-have-eaten-the-plums posts.
One day I hope to own a t-shirt company that sells a shirt known as Attitude Dragon. Nothing quite says badass like a dragon with an attitude. And sunglasses. posted by graventy at 2:53 PM on June 30 [5 favorites has favorites]
The company was founded back in 1983, and they were fairly popular in Santa Barbara for a while. At one point, there were fewer slogans and more pictures of the simplified St. Bernard look. I remember going with relatives to the store near the beach, because there were no Big Dog stores anywhere else, and they liked the logo or whatnot. I'm sure I had a few of the more plain Big Dog shirts back then. Back before the shirts warned others of impending farts.
But then they went and got all "old dude edgy," with lots of bad puns with the Big Dog mascot. And they have chains across America, where you can get active wear, casual sportswear, accessories and gifts for men and women of all ages, all with fun, humor and a Big Dog attitude, whereby each customer can feel that he or she is a Big Dog.
"I guess I should have named it 'T-Shirt Cunt Rape Faggot Nigger', so less of you fuckers would have taken the bait.
Why in the world would I shut down a website that brings so much satisfaction to people who actually have a sense of humor? To customers who can't stand this ever-expanding, politically correct asylum we are imprisoned in?"
So part of me finds that T-Shirt Hell letter boring as fuck, and part of me thinks 'Well, I guess you're not female, gay, non-Caucasian or have ever been raped, then. That'll be why you feel so OPPRESSED at attempts to LIMIT YOUR FREE SPEECH." posted by mippy at 3:02 PM on June 30 [2 favorites has favorites]
Anyway, I'm not American - do people actually wear these? God, these shirts are cheap and nasty. They remind me of the oh-so-unique shirt that says 'Your story has moved me. Never have I heard such a tale. Now fuck off.' which I have seen at least three sweaty, unkempt young men wearing on the tube this week.
Each time I feel fed-up with clothes taht won't fit properly, I think of the mall near my SO's house, and the store in it which sells T-shirts with 'I may be drunk but your {sic} still ugly!' And I'm glad I was born female, somehow.
The debate isn't 'are there some subjects which are off-limits for comedy', more 'is this unfunny thing going to be made magically hilarious via the clumsy injection of SHOCK and OMG BAD WORDS'. posted by mippy at 3:10 PM on June 30
SARCASM IS ONE OF THE SERVICES I OFFER posted by turgid dahlia at 3:29 PM on June 30
Man, this is better than those haiku and I-have-eaten-the-plums posts.
THIS IS JUST TO SAY
I HAVE WORN THE TSHIRT
THAT WAS IN YOUR DRESSER
The debate isn't 'are there some subjects which are off-limits for comedy', more 'is this unfunny thing going to be made magically hilarious via the clumsy injection of SHOCK and OMG BAD WORDS'.
A little further back then Big Dog, there was, for a while, a slew of jokey country-style T-shirts that I never understood. A lot of them featured anthropomorphic animals. There was one of a bored-looking frog in a cowboy hat sitting under the words "I'M SO HAPPY I COULD JUST SHIT", I remember, and others with bon mots about in-laws, ex-wives, and beer. I don't know if it was just one company making them or if it was a part of the late-70s countrified trend fueled by Dukes of Hazard/Cannonball Run/Any Which Way You Can. posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:37 PM on June 30
I had a Big Dogs shirt when I was kid in the mid 80s. I was just the logo, no moronic slogan.
I guess they had to step it up to keep up with the current state of idiocy. posted by Liquidwolf at 3:41 PM on June 30
Having said that, just the fact that you thought this was sarcastic is a good sign that maybe people will start wearing "HOLD MY BEER WHILE I KISS YOUR GIRLFRIEND" T-shirts ironically.
I am going to
CUT PHYLLIS'S HEAD OFF
with a
CHAINSAW
rrrreeeeaaaanneeenneeenneeeneee posted by Xoebe at 4:01 PM on June 30 [3 favorites has favorites]
I had a Big Dogs shirt when I was kid in the mid 80s. I was just the logo, no moronic slogan.
I guess they had to step it up to keep up with the current state of idiocy.
It's been a slow progression. There was thestwo, though I remember them being less "extreme" in design (at least the dog looked less angry in memory), but to keep up with the changing technology and add in a joke about staring at boobs, there's this gem, which might be their attempt to balance out thesedesigns. posted by filthy light thief at 4:04 PM on June 30
Remember those T-shirts for "bad" kids? They were all black with white, fake-typewriter text that said things like "I DRESS THIS WAY TO ANNOY YOU" or "YOU LAUGH BECAUSE I'M DIFFERENT. I LAUGH BECAUSE YOU'RE THE SAME."
A long time ago, I made a cafepress site with that style of t-shirt. It read, "THE PICTURE IN THE T-SHIRT CATALOG DIDN'T SHOW THE SUN" and below it was a goofy, cartoony picture of a sun wearing sunglasses. I thought it was pretty funny, but no one bought one. posted by roll truck roll at 4:28 PM on June 30 [5 favorites has favorites]
My "Absolut Metafilter" t-shirt is, however, awesome, and looks great with my Zubaz or Cavariccis.
If only I could get it in Hypercolor... posted by NikitaNikita at 4:45 PM on June 30
Back when I was water skiing competitively I was inundated with catalogs for the sport. In the back few pages of each one were Big Dog shirts. Thanks for taking me back.
Lazyweb, please find me a list of all the clever shirts Gadzooks used to (still?) sells. You know, the guy in the electric chair holding two slices of bread (making the best of a bad situation), etc. Oh man, I spent agonizing hours in the mall trying to figure out how my $12 would best express my identity.
Big Dog shirts are always featured in Big & Tall catalogs, at least the ones I used to get. Not sure how much this is clever marketing and how much it's just the natural (?) love of large people for declaring that they are the Big Dog. posted by jtron at 5:29 PM on June 30
A little further back then Big Dog, there was, for a while, a slew of jokey country-style T-shirts that I never understood.
Ditto this. I remember seeing a "If it ain't COUNTRY, it ain't SHIT!" baseball cap.
YES MY RESUMÉ IS IN ALL-CAPS posted by furtive at 7:13 PM on June 30
I like Big Dogs shirts & shorts - not the jokey slogan T-shirts though, for all the reasons stated here - in part because when I go to Big Dogs to buy stuff I don't feel like a freak for wanting a waist size bigger than a 36, or a shirt larger than an "L". posted by kcds at 7:27 PM on June 30
I saw a shirt at the Kittery, Maine Big Dogs store that read "Yeah, I came home half-drunk. I ran out of money." I had gone into the store to laugh at the ugly, aggressive t-shirts; when I saw that particular shirt I felt so embarrassed for humanity that I had to leave the store immediately. posted by Mayor Curley at 7:33 PM on June 30 [3 favorites has favorites]
LETS PLAY RUSSIAN ROULETTE
ILL GO LAST posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:20 PM on June 30
Maaaan. Do they still print these kind of shirts on cotton so thin that even the day star on an overcast day only gives passing notice to it before the brightness makes the skin on your back match the color of your neck? (WOO! Redneck joke en passant!)
Also, I'm pretty sure all those t-shirt shops are just a front for money laundering. No shop could afford to run on such a consistant loss... please, don't disabuse me; I still have vague hopes for humanity as a whole. posted by LD Feral at 5:46 AM on July 1 [1 favorite has favorites]
WOO! Redneck joke en passant!
Em passant just became my new favorite I'm-smarter-than-you term and style of joke. Well played, my friend. posted by Cool Papa Bell at 6:11 AM on July 1
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posted by pakoothefakoo at 12:32 PM on June 30