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Iä, iä, Cthulhu nom.
August 5, 2009 7:12 PM   Subscribe

If French Fry Coated Hot Dogs* were too sane for you... Russian Haired Sausage!
posted by Anything (58 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite

 
A+ post, would click again.
posted by The Straightener at 7:18 PM on August 5, 2009


Russian spaghetti must be...sturdy. I can't imagine that the spaghetti I buy in the U.S. wouldn't break in the prep stage.

That being said, I'll shop for sturdier pasta, because I will try and consume this. Perhaps repeatedly.
posted by datawrangler at 7:21 PM on August 5, 2009


You have your carbs, your protein, your fat, your nitrates. It is a complete meal and so adorable!
posted by munchingzombie at 7:23 PM on August 5, 2009


Picture #4 looks like what might happen on a reproductive health show aimed at people who can only communicate using terrifying claymation.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 7:23 PM on August 5, 2009 [5 favorites]


Russian spaghetti must be...sturdy.

It must be made from turgid buckwheat instead of flaccid wheat.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:25 PM on August 5, 2009 [3 favorites]


The one in the second photo looks so defeated... by a little girl in a Bambi shirt, no less.
posted by Anything at 7:29 PM on August 5, 2009


This honestly gives me the heebie jeebies.
posted by autodidact at 7:35 PM on August 5, 2009 [7 favorites]


This looks great. I will make this!
posted by oddman at 7:39 PM on August 5, 2009


I'm holding out for the veg version.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 7:45 PM on August 5, 2009


More proof that just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.
posted by longsleeves at 7:45 PM on August 5, 2009


Trichinosalicious!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 7:52 PM on August 5, 2009


Heeheehee. Love it.
posted by amro at 7:59 PM on August 5, 2009


Hang on I need to go to the kitchen... brb.
posted by gomichild at 8:01 PM on August 5, 2009


Man, I needed that.
posted by nosila at 8:08 PM on August 5, 2009


Here is a Russian LiveJournal page with many more photos of this food which is sometimes called "hairy sausage"

"For the english speakers: i collect in this lj blog photos and links to this new form of food art, we tentatively call "hot dogs strikes back". it is primarily made by inserting dried spaghetti into the hot dogs and then boiling the resulting concoctions. it is fun to make and fun to eat for the whole family and the variations seem endless. it is fun to make and fun to eat for the whole family and the variations seem endless. if you do engage into experimenting with different forms of this "art", please take photos and drop me a link. if you do engage into experimenting with different forms of this "art", please take photos and drop me a link. i will post it here, so we can keep the project alive. i will post it here, so we can keep the project alive."
posted by madamjujujive at 8:09 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


Again, but with haggis.
posted by The Bellman at 8:11 PM on August 5, 2009


Looks like it belongs in the food group of fairy bread and toast cut into smilies.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 8:19 PM on August 5, 2009


A friend of mine from college made these for her kids: here's an adorable Flickr set of her kids enjoying them.

I love that my American college friend made lunch for her daughter inspired by a Russian LiveJournal post.
posted by Nelson at 8:20 PM on August 5, 2009 [4 favorites]


In Russia, you don't eat spaghetti monster, spaghetti monst....oh, wait, actually you do eat spaghetti monster.
posted by googly at 8:23 PM on August 5, 2009 [4 favorites]


Nelson: Funny how amid all that adorability the lone comment is "oh look, a real kettle!" [my emphasis]
posted by Anything at 8:29 PM on August 5, 2009


Oh, yes. My fiancee hates hot dogs and bugs. This is going to be awesome.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:37 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


Ok here we go the Japanese version: Hairy Octopus
posted by gomichild at 8:43 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


HA! I made that for my kids last week. Regular old American Spaghetti was strong enough to hold the hot dogs up. Here's the blog where I saw it - and she does make it with carrots too for a veggie option. Note: My kids actually didn't think it was very gross looking. Which kind of worried me...
posted by artychoke at 8:48 PM on August 5, 2009


Did anyone look around the other images on that blog?

Can anyone tell me what the hell that thing in the can of herring was? It had teeth!
posted by theyexpectresults at 8:53 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


Is this what comes back when you Google for "hairy sausage"?
posted by chairface at 8:55 PM on August 5, 2009


louche how did you do that?
posted by seawallrunner at 8:57 PM on August 5, 2009


theyexpectresults, it's a salmon head. They get scary teeth as they age.
posted by piratebowling at 9:04 PM on August 5, 2009


> seawallrunner:

Complete with highlights and ads for emphasis:
Exhibit A.
Exhibit B.
posted by xorry at 9:20 PM on August 5, 2009


I don't know his is glorious or blasphemous of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
posted by MrLint at 9:23 PM on August 5, 2009


(And sorry, it just seemed particularly appropriate to this post.)
posted by louche mustachio at 9:24 PM on August 5, 2009


``Now, if you wanna talk about bladder problems, then the man you wanna talk to will probably be my cousin Earl. I guess you all know Earl; he lives out on Route 13 out on that maggot farm. Earl don't like it when you get his maggot farm confused with a worm farm. A worm farm is for worms, and a maggot farm is for maggots, and Earl's got the biggest maggots in the state. Three feet long.

``Of course, now Earl believes this might be due to the fact that St. Smithen's Medical Facility has been dumping their waste on his property. Interesting thing about three-foot maggots is that, well, one day the china disappeared, and then the next day his television disappeared, and then a few days after that, his '57 Chevy disappeared. But there they are: the world's biggest maggots.

``Anyway, one day, Earl and I were standin' in the kitchen, giant maggots crawlin' across the floor, and Earl turns to me, and he says, "Do you ever go to make a pork sausage, and find that it's got hairs all over it?" And he gives me a look, that still chills me to this day.''
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:24 PM on August 5, 2009 [4 favorites]


Blazecock, what's that from?
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:30 PM on August 5, 2009


> mccarty.tim

It looks like some lyrics from The Dead Milkmen (didn't they do that one song about taking kids to the zoo?)
posted by xorry at 9:35 PM on August 5, 2009


There's also chocolate covered bacon on a stick - the Yanks came up with that one.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 9:39 PM on August 5, 2009


The fry-coated dog was disappointing. Too much fry, not enough dog.
posted by bardic at 9:40 PM on August 5, 2009


Russian spaghetti must be...sturdy.

It must be made from turgid buckwheat instead of flaccid wheat.


No, it's obvious made of hardcore taters/tators.
posted by Netzapper at 10:51 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


First: I'm surprised that anything out of Japan named hairy octopus was PG. Although I suspect that's whale meat...fuckers.

Second: I thought about making this with veggie dogs, then I realized how awful that would taste. Imitation hotdogs are mostly inedible, but doubly so when they're boiled and not grilled. But I'm going to try nonetheless. If you don't hear from me in 24 hours, call coldchef and give me a proper burial.
posted by allen.spaulding at 11:05 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


Something's missing.

There. That's better.
posted by Pronoiac at 12:58 AM on August 6, 2009 [6 favorites]


aeschenkarnos: "Looks like it belongs in the food group of fairy bread and toast cut into smilies."

And Hanamaru hamburger!
Errr...
I did not just post that. This is an anonymous post by some pathetic anime fan. When I snap my fingers you will awaken and forget who made this post. *snap*
posted by PontifexPrimus at 2:28 AM on August 6, 2009


Netzapper: I swear, I've never stabbed a sausage.
posted by soft and hardcore taters at 4:24 AM on August 6, 2009


If they had done picture #6 with something a little less regular, like perhaps bratwurst, I could expect to be confronted with a plate of it at a strange dinner party. An unwise sip from the water glass paralyzes me.

Then the plate begins to pulsate and a ochre, lidless eye shudders to the top. It glares at me for a minute before the dark grey noodles writhe and the entire thing launches itself from a plate to slither down my throat, the last of it disappearing with a wet whipsnap.

I know I am truly in trouble when this happens to all of the other guests, and I find myself saying without volition, "That was delicious. Why don't you get me some plates so I can take some home to my new ho- .... friends."
posted by adipocere at 4:27 AM on August 6, 2009


#6, I presume, is made with squid ink pasta. Regrettably, I've never eaten that, so I don't know how it tastes. Is it strongly fishy? I'm thinking of stabbing it through some nice pork sausage and serving it with a creamy mustard sauce for a scary Halloween dinner.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:15 AM on August 6, 2009


This makes me itchy. It's exacerbating my trichotillomania urges or something. yeeps.

re: squid ink pasta: I never recall tasting any squid-ness or fishy taste -- it's really just used to get the dramatic color.

Don't forget about looking into spinach pasta and beet/tomato-colored pasta!

Stick all of them in there for a psychadelic hairy hot dog!

*shiver*

I may be coming down with a case of Morgellons' now, too.
posted by NikitaNikita at 6:37 AM on August 6, 2009


What sort of noodles would I use with boudin? PLEASE HOPE ME!!
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:46 AM on August 6, 2009


No. Just no.

And for Devils Rancher, soba?
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:54 AM on August 6, 2009


Yes! - my kids are gonna puke tonight....
posted by jkaczor at 6:55 AM on August 6, 2009


What sort of noodles would I use with boudin? PLEASE HOPE ME!!

Probably none. Boudin is generally steamed or cooked in a shallow stock bath, neither of which will cook your noodles.
posted by ColdChef at 6:55 AM on August 6, 2009


Actually, Ruthless Bunny may be onto something. Soba usually cooks much faster. I don't know if it's strong enough to pierce the intestines that the boudin is stuffed into, though. Hmmm. And there would also be a problem with the casing splitting. Still, an experiment might be in order.
posted by ColdChef at 6:57 AM on August 6, 2009


I made a pasta salad with squid ink noodles a few years back. It looked gross, but it was really good. No fishy taste at all.
posted by ColdChef at 6:59 AM on August 6, 2009 [1 favorite]


At first, I was completely repelled, but now I find myself wanting to make some. It's weirdly enticing.
posted by Orb at 7:11 AM on August 6, 2009


Probably none. Boudin is generally steamed or cooked in a shallow stock bath, neither of which will cook your noodles.

Go ahead, crush my hopes and dreams.

I do love me some boudin, though.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:21 AM on August 6, 2009


Yes yes the hotdog/pasta combo looks great and all but did anyone notice the Mongolian Death Worm?!?!?! WTF. It spits acid at you?!?!? Cthulhu hot dogs and alien acid worms..... Excellent post!
posted by Mastercheddaar at 7:33 AM on August 6, 2009


ColdChef, you have a standing invitation to any Halloween parties I ever throw from here on out. Even more so if you're willing to talk shop.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:48 AM on August 6, 2009 [1 favorite]


Looks like something from the Pre-Cambrian Burgess Shale, if you ask me.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 8:06 AM on August 6, 2009


FOB, Just don't take ColdChef up on his offer to help with the dishes after the party.
posted by saucysault at 8:17 AM on August 6, 2009 [1 favorite]


Mmm glabrous.
posted by Mister_A at 9:22 AM on August 6, 2009


Second: I thought about making this with veggie dogs, then I realized how awful that would taste. Imitation hotdogs are mostly inedible, but doubly so when they're boiled and not grilled.

Meaty hotdogs are largely inedible too, frankly. As far as these go, I imagine it's all in the sauce. I may make these and do them in a greyish mushroom garlic sauce for maximum horror.
posted by Jilder at 9:29 AM on August 6, 2009


Meaty hotdogs are largely inedible too, frankly.

Intentional or not, that pun was the wurst.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:32 PM on August 6, 2009


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