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November 30, 2009 11:12 AM   Subscribe

TheSmartAss.info's suite of Java emulators allows smooth, in-browser playback of literally thousands of old-school video games: 517 Atari titles, 148 for DOS, 636 Game Boy games (and 410 for Game Boy Color), 2,019 (!) NES titles, 238 GameGear games, 802 Sega Genesis titles, and 284 for the Sega Master System. Highlights include Space Invaders, Frogger, Galaga, Pitfall!, Super Mario Bros., The Legend of Zelda, Metroid, SimCity, Zero Wing, Duke Nukem, Sonic the Hedgehog, Aladdin, Earthworm Jim, Pokemon, and Metal Gear Solid. Use the search function to find your favorites! You can also register an account to save games on emulators that support it. Make sure to check the purple bar below each game for control info and links to alternate emulators in case the default one is buggy or slow.
posted by Rhaomi (54 comments total) 206 users marked this as a favorite

 
You mean I don't have to store thousands of ROMs on my hard drive now?

Excellent.
posted by scrutiny at 11:18 AM on November 30, 2009


No C64? Bah.
posted by chorltonmeateater at 11:19 AM on November 30, 2009 [5 favorites]


This post is useless without M.U.L.E.
posted by bh at 11:19 AM on November 30, 2009 [9 favorites]


Oh my dear lord, Corncob 3D.
posted by jquinby at 11:20 AM on November 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


My goodness. That's really something.
posted by Caduceus at 11:21 AM on November 30, 2009


how odd that they call it metal gear solid. it's just metal gear. metal gear solid was the psx game. metal gear is the nes.
posted by shmegegge at 11:22 AM on November 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


also: hot shit awesomeness.
posted by shmegegge at 11:22 AM on November 30, 2009


Also, why do you want to ruin my ability to be a useful, functional human being?
posted by Caduceus at 11:22 AM on November 30, 2009 [5 favorites]


As Balzac said: 'There goes another novel.'
posted by Jofus at 11:22 AM on November 30, 2009 [4 favorites]


Play while you can. Nintendo is super-aggressive about ROMs online, and this site won't last long.
posted by Malor at 11:27 AM on November 30, 2009


This post is useless without M.U.L.E.

They have the NES version.

Also note that the copyright holders of many of these games are pretty vigilant about protecting their IP, so I wouldn't expect this site to stay up for very long.
posted by burnmp3s at 11:28 AM on November 30, 2009


Holy shit dude, they've got the Immortal. What a ridiculously difficult, incredibly cool game.
posted by Caduceus at 11:32 AM on November 30, 2009


Sounds completely legal and should be a long-time resident of the Internets.
posted by DU at 11:37 AM on November 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


how odd that they call it metal gear solid. it's just metal gear. metal gear solid was the psx game. metal gear is the nes.

Metal Gear Solid is also the name of the Game Boy Color game, which is what that link leads to.
posted by kafziel at 11:40 AM on November 30, 2009


I thought I couldn't get it to run, when I realized that the game I was trying to run was Gameboy Camera, which threw a java exception (probably because there's no camera present, I always wondered how that worked)

This is a shame, because it comes with a kick-ass little sequencer/music maker. Oh well, time to tackle Outrun again. (They don't have Virtua Racing, which is a shame)
posted by hellojed at 11:41 AM on November 30, 2009


Oh my god it has Tubes! I had truly considered that one lost to the ages.
posted by yellowbinder at 11:45 AM on November 30, 2009


here I am complaining about something free, for shame
posted by hellojed at 11:51 AM on November 30, 2009


This post is useless without M.U.L.E.

I threw down the $34.95 for Space Horse and have never regretted it. It's wonderful.
posted by DWRoelands at 11:55 AM on November 30, 2009


I am moved, nearly to tears, by the prospect of being able to play Zillion again on the Sega Master system. It's probably not half as good as I remember, but I remember loving it something fierce.

No, wait, I actually have been moved to tears. I am literally weeping.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 12:05 PM on November 30, 2009


hellojed: "(They don't have Virtua Racing, which is a shame)"

Did you search? They have the Genesis version.

Also, re:takedown possibilities, I don't want to jinx things, but this site has been around in its present form since at least 2003 and even made the front page of Digg a few years ago. I'm surprised it's never been posted to the blue before (and that it hasn't gone under yet).
posted by Rhaomi at 12:06 PM on November 30, 2009


kafziel: "how odd that they call it metal gear solid. it's just metal gear. metal gear solid was the psx game. metal gear is the nes.

Metal Gear Solid is also the name of the Game Boy Color game, which is what that link leads to.
"

oop. my bad.
posted by shmegegge at 12:06 PM on November 30, 2009


Syntax error? GODDAMMIT! Zillion, wait for me! I will always love you!
posted by Admiral Haddock at 12:09 PM on November 30, 2009


This post is useless without M.U.L.E.

They have the NES version.


The NES version is a travesty. I've played it and the Atari 800 version enough to tell you for sure, NES M.U.L.E. looks like the same game, but a lot of the rules (like those determining who wins ties at auction) are subtly wrong. The game doesn't declare a winner ("First Founder") at the end if the colony is successful. And wampuses are far too easy to catch, to the extent that it wrecks the whole game.
posted by JHarris at 12:10 PM on November 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


Caduceus: "Holy shit dude, they've got the Immortal. What a ridiculously difficult, incredibly cool game."

HOLY SHIT, INDEED! jesus the time I lost trying to understand the even the most accessible parts of that game...
posted by shmegegge at 12:16 PM on November 30, 2009


R-Type!
posted by johnny novak at 12:18 PM on November 30, 2009


Oh, thanks Rhaomi! I must have missed it.
posted by hellojed at 12:20 PM on November 30, 2009


In ten years we'll be playing Modern Warfare 2 in our browsers, which hopefully will be located deep within out cerebral cortex. That'll be awesome.
posted by Keith Talent at 1:04 PM on November 30, 2009


Leave it to Java to be the first thing in all these years of dubious net activity to give Windows XP a real live blue screen of death.

Or maybe it was punishment for looking for "Taboo: The Sixth Sense."
posted by darksasami at 1:54 PM on November 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


SimCity, Sonic the Hedgehog and Duke Nukem? If I download those guys I'm guaranteed to lose (another) 5 years of my life.

Do they have Leisuresuit Larry? Oh god, please don't let them have Leisure Suit Larry.
posted by pick_the_flowers at 2:02 PM on November 30, 2009


Wow. We are *so* coddled these days with in game tutorials and whatnot. Apparently back in the day you had to read a thing called an instruction booklet.
posted by juv3nal at 2:02 PM on November 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Your sweet nostalgia's our property
Your sweet nostalgia's our property
Your sweet young life is our property
Your little brother's our property
You live and die for our property

(synthesizer solo)
posted by clockzero at 2:04 PM on November 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


Do they have any old demo scene PC demos? I always liked those.
posted by delmoi at 2:18 PM on November 30, 2009


Wow. We are *so* coddled these days with in game tutorials and whatnot. Apparently back in the day you had to read a thing called an instruction booklet.

But the cool versions of those books came with funky pens. Those were awesome.
posted by bh at 3:09 PM on November 30, 2009


You know, with IP laws being the way they are, this is only slightly more legal than selling crack cocaine on a street corner.
posted by Avenger at 3:27 PM on November 30, 2009


Actually, back in the day you had "tip lines" where game designers would occasionally make the game so hard (intentionally) to get you to shell out by the minute for assitance.
posted by codacorolla at 3:39 PM on November 30, 2009


On reflection, it's amusing how the guy in Altered Beast gets progressively more shirtless the stronger he gets. Way to go, 1980's SEGA homoeroticism....
posted by Avenger at 3:44 PM on November 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Just got a nasty virus (trojan.fakeav) from clicking on Defender II on the smartass.info site. Flagged.
posted by LakesideOrion at 4:19 PM on November 30, 2009 [4 favorites]


I've not gone to the site yet, but if LakesideOrion is correct then this is a serious matter. Mods?

codacorolla: Actually, the hardest such games tended to be from the days before tip lines. For example, Tower of Druaga was a mid-80s arcade game. And further, back in the old days Nintendo ran an ordinary-toll-call gameplay hotline, the famous Game Councilors. I'm not putting it past some studios to do that sort of thing, but generally, in my experience, that was not the reason games were made difficult.
posted by JHarris at 4:33 PM on November 30, 2009


I didn't encounter any virus warnings in the extensive trawling of the site I did to build this post (I'm running AVG). I also didn't get any warnings on the Defender II page LakesideOrion mentioned. The site's forums don't mention any virus problems, either.
posted by Rhaomi at 4:41 PM on November 30, 2009


AAagggg! I can load the games, but they don't seem to notice any of the buttons I'm pressing. I've disabled AdBlock for the page, I've disabled Noscript as well and nothing, nothing, nothing! PRESS START it says - I'd love to! I'm trying!

Anyone else having this problem? And did you figure out how to fix it?

Nonetheless, thanks for an excellent post, Rhaomi, even if my machine won't operate it.
posted by EatTheWeak at 6:26 PM on November 30, 2009


This webpage is not available.

Grr.
posted by bdave at 6:35 PM on November 30, 2009


This page is also useless without S.C.R.A.M.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 6:39 PM on November 30, 2009


You know, with IP laws being the way they are, this is only slightly more legal than selling crack cocaine on a street corner.

In that case you guys are more than welcome to drop by my neighborhood and commence your gaming because, if you're right, then it's basically legal here too.
posted by joe lisboa at 8:36 PM on November 30, 2009


Kidding! It's the hipsters/trustfundkids buying prescription pills, but same diff.
posted by joe lisboa at 8:38 PM on November 30, 2009


OH OH OH OH OH OH!

Love! love!

can't speak properly from excitement.

Mickey Mouse and the Land of Illusion! OMG!
posted by jonathanstrange at 11:03 PM on November 30, 2009


Faxanadu!!! I love that music.
posted by HopperFan at 11:39 PM on November 30, 2009


You know, with IP laws being the way they are, this is only slightly more legal than selling crack cocaine on a street corner.

That's obviously insane. Copyright infringement isn't even a crime, it's a tort (i.e. something you have to sue over)
posted by delmoi at 3:27 AM on December 1, 2009


That's obviously insane. Copyright infringement isn't even a crime, it's a tort (i.e. something you have to sue over)
posted by delmoi


Um, in the United States I'm pretty sure it is. Based on the FBI Warning (which is sanctioned by the FBI) and this. Something they're likely to go after you for? No. But it seems to be a criminal offense.
posted by haveanicesummer at 4:42 AM on December 1, 2009


Sorry I should have said "a criminal offense in addition to a tort" as it is obviously that as well. Here is the FBI page about the warning and the seal.
posted by haveanicesummer at 4:46 AM on December 1, 2009


Play these games at your own risk. (I used the follwing instructions to remove the "Spyware Protect 2009" malware from my computer.)
posted by LakesideOrion at 6:24 AM on December 1, 2009


How did I miss this post??

Also: M*A*S*H the Atari 2600 game? I thought I dreamed that! (but how terrible it is)
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 4:44 PM on December 1, 2009


posted by Durn Bronzefist An hour ago [+]

Yeah, that hour belonged to Faxanadu. Don't have negative thoughts.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 5:53 PM on December 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Heh. I just had the video game equivalent of calling out another woman's name in bed.

I returned to follow up on johnny novak's comment, and instead of running a search for R-type, I ran one for Rygar, and didn't realize what I'd done till I'd started the game (overjoyed!).
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:19 PM on December 1, 2009


Ha, ha Leisure Suit Larry....I'm about the predecessor, Space Quest and then Police Quest. My kids and me grew up on these staples. Stroll down memory lane here.
posted by ~Sushma~ at 5:21 PM on December 2, 2009


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