Do you have any cognitive dissonance in your vegetarian dishes?

December 1, 2009 2:40 PM

Bad Menu: providing 100% of your recommended daily allowance for restaurant-themed printed goofs.

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Present this coupon and receive a free bonus AskMe thread of the most famous typos EVAR!
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posted by not_on_display (31 comments total)

Oh FAILBlog, what hath thou wrought?
posted by GuyZero at 2:51 PM on December 1, 2009

Some of these are really funny. Some of them are clearly funny on purpose.
posted by roll truck roll at 2:51 PM on December 1, 2009

No hit, all miss.
posted by eyeballkid at 2:59 PM on December 1, 2009 [2 favorites]

I saw a good one in France. In French, avocado and attorney are both "avocat." So of course my family visits me and is freaked out by the English menu advertising salad with sliced lawyer.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 3:05 PM on December 1, 2009

If it is going to be wrapped in bacon and covered in cheese, do you really need to make a point that the hot dog itself is Kosher?
posted by griphus at 3:10 PM on December 1, 2009 [2 favorites]

Some of these are bizarre and impossible to make out what was actually meant. "Free toothpick with ad". WTF? I assume it's a joke, but if not, what is it supposed to mean?

The Martin Luther King meal is gold, though.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 3:14 PM on December 1, 2009

I was always a fan of the Sour Cram available on most dishes at the local mexican restaurant.
posted by davejay at 3:21 PM on December 1, 2009

Chicken fingers with spicy club sauce.
posted by griphus at 3:32 PM on December 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

Um, see, when the joke is INTENTIONAL (as with "free compliment"), it's not a "goof."
posted by ethnomethodologist at 3:40 PM on December 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

griphus: Because kosher hot dogs tend to be more delicious, since they can't use the unidentifiable mystery meat that frequently gets stuffed into other dogs. I'm not the slightest bit Jewish, but I nearly always prefer kosher hot dogs over other dog contenders.
posted by Diagonalize at 3:43 PM on December 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

Diagonalize: Because kosher hot dogs tend to be more delicious

Hell if they are! PORKPORKPORKPORKPORKPORK!!!11
posted by toodleydoodley at 4:00 PM on December 1, 2009

Pshaw, toodleydoodley. That's why you wrap the kosher dog in BACON.
posted by Diagonalize at 4:17 PM on December 1, 2009

A now-defunct restaurant in Ottawa used to have a cheesecake which was promoted on the menu with the promise that diners would find this dessert, made with both regular and chocolate milk, '"utterly" delicious' (with heavy quotation marks around "utterly," while quotation marks appeared nowhere else on the menu. I looked at that for a while without enlightenment and at last concluded that someone had trotted out the hoary old dismally unfunny "utter/udder" pun and someone else with a spell-check had changed it to its current nonsensically sensical state.

I accept that other people often don't get my jokes. It becomes enervating when they don't get their own.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:21 PM on December 1, 2009 [2 favorites]

Is there a failblog devoted to really lame failblogs?
posted by DU at 4:32 PM on December 1, 2009 [2 favorites]

Isn't this just a recap of Jay Leno's Monday night schtick, going back to the late Paleolithic or so?
posted by gimonca at 4:47 PM on December 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

I saw a menu last night said "Fuck steak with crap sauce, served with rust and a bucket of cocks (whores on the side only $7 per half dozen!)". So naturally I went in. Just my luck, the whores were off. Also the place had been gutted by fire and the maitre'd was a homeless guy with a shoebox on his head. Still, I gave him a tip. It's expected these days.
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:17 PM on December 1, 2009 [9 favorites]

This is my favorite menu ever.
posted by dfan at 5:31 PM on December 1, 2009 [15 favorites]

My favorite menu misspelling experience happened at a place near where I lived that offered "mescaline" salad. After I suggested that such a salad might be illegal, I saw a new version of the menu. Now, it offers "masculine" salad. Not sure if that's legal either.
posted by Maias at 5:50 PM on December 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

Dining hall dissonance: at the University of        (well, safer for me this way maybe), in an effort to advertise a new policy of buying from local growers, informational table-tent cards distributed to all the halls carried the introductory title "local tase is good taste".
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 6:01 PM on December 1, 2009

I see no human beef on the menu.
posted by chrillsicka at 6:16 PM on December 1, 2009

Don't local tase me, bro.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:19 PM on December 1, 2009

come on! 'chickenpox pie' is REALLY funny!!!
posted by supermedusa at 6:42 PM on December 1, 2009

Years ago, there was a little breakfast restaurant in the college town that I was living in at the time. It was owned by this French couple. They did not speak the best English in the world, but they were charming and friendly, and the food was good.

I could barely contain myself when, one day, I walked in for breakfast and the sandwich board at the entrance proudly entreated me to enjoy a "hot blubbery muffin"...
posted by kaseijin at 7:18 PM on December 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

Staggeringly insensitive Burger King coupon for free medium Freedom Fries
posted by porn in the woods at 7:21 PM on December 1, 2009

So of course my family visits me and is freaked out by the English menu advertising salad with sliced lawyer.

Lawyer's rather nice, if it's for a price...
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:28 PM on December 1, 2009

A sentimental favorite is my hometown Indian place, which offers lamb "cooked in yourgut."
posted by hippugeek at 9:03 PM on December 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

A Lebanese diner near my work offers a "Spanish omelet with spic sauce." I assume that they mean spicy, because most people do prefer their breakfasts without racial slurs. But it cracks me up every time I read it.
posted by emd3737 at 9:08 PM on December 1, 2009

In Iceland a now defunct café offered "beagle with cheese." I couldn't help but picture a dead, baked Snoopy slathered in cheese. I never ate there.
posted by Kattullus at 9:12 PM on December 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

I used to carry around an ad from a local Chinese place that offered a "free bowel of soup" with coupon. I never tried to redeem that one...
posted by cirhosis at 10:37 PM on December 1, 2009

This is my favorite menu ever.

I once wrote an article about why menus like that happen. In short: guy who isn't aware of the different shades of meaning of different words in English and/or Chinese tries to translate something like "Kung Pao Chicken" using a Chinese/English dictionary. Hilarity ensues.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:06 AM on December 2, 2009

Entertaining, but I can't be the only person who gets a little annoyed at blogs like this with only five items per page. It's not like you spend more than a couple minutes to read everything on the page, and then you're hitting 'older entries' again. And again. And again.

Sure, short pages were good back in the slow load-time dial-up days but unless you're got really media-rich embeds or something this just gets boring.

Maybe I'm just cranky today.
posted by pupdog at 10:19 AM on December 2, 2009