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Let's go shooting, and then we can go shopping!
December 7, 2009 11:04 AM   Subscribe

Everything is Terrible presents A Woman's Guide To Firearms, a mildly patronizing introduction to gun lust for the fairer sex.
posted by The Devil Tesla (35 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
Mickey, I don't care if you meant to scare me - you really really did.
posted by Think_Long at 11:12 AM on December 7, 2009 [1 favorite]


It's Major Dad!
posted by clcapps at 11:12 AM on December 7, 2009


Wow, you must really like EIT, huh?
posted by doublesix at 11:18 AM on December 7, 2009


This, after the DFW bit about feelings too intense to bear.
posted by roygbv at 11:20 AM on December 7, 2009


Although as The Devil Tesla said mildly patronizing this would have been handy for me about three months ago; I was a gun virgin researching what kind of gun or guns to buy for myself.
posted by ZaneJ. at 11:20 AM on December 7, 2009


Wow, you must really like EIT

YOU HAVE NO IDEA. But yea, this is my favorite in a while so I went ahead and posted it.
posted by The Devil Tesla at 11:22 AM on December 7, 2009


See, people wonder why things like hipsters and Tim & Eric exist, and then something like this video comes along and explains everything all at once.

Also, this is amazing.

Another from the same video poster.
posted by Sticherbeast at 11:22 AM on December 7, 2009


Wow, you must really like EIT, huh?

To be fair, they've done 15 posts in the interim.
posted by Think_Long at 11:22 AM on December 7, 2009


doublesix, you say "Wow, you must really like EIT, huh?" as if it's a bad thing.

There is nothing terrible about EIT. Well, OK, technically, EVERYTHING there is actually terrible, but that's what makes it wonderful.

Thanks, TDT.
posted by yiftach at 11:24 AM on December 7, 2009


Also, while I'm dumping EIT on you guys, here is a really surreal bit of lolxtans.
posted by The Devil Tesla at 11:25 AM on December 7, 2009 [1 favorite]


The linked video seems to be a "highlights reel" from a much longer 1987 documentary.

The full-length video is actually not terrible.
posted by Wufpak at 11:25 AM on December 7, 2009


Holy shit, it's Lee Purcell ... the hot, horny, wannabe Mrs. Robinson step-mother from Valley Girl.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:30 AM on December 7, 2009


The full-length video is actually not terrible.

After watching about five minutes of it I respectfully disagree, I'm enjoying it in about the same way I liked the EIT clip.There is a entertaining political undercurrent to what I've seen so far, like "there are people of all ages and types interested in the sport of shooting." I might be into this kind of thing too much, but, um, I'm still going to be all ironic about this, okay?

Still, you get thirty hugs for finding the link.
posted by The Devil Tesla at 11:38 AM on December 7, 2009


Oh, so 1980s. Which helps to explain why it is deeply patronizing. Also incomplete as video never does address home defense.
posted by bearwife at 12:17 PM on December 7, 2009


I thought for sure that Mr. Mustache spinning the barrel on the revolver would be the cue for the bow-chicka-bow-wow music to start and the full-on porn to get going.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:19 PM on December 7, 2009 [4 favorites]


That guy was obviously a communist mole. In America we call that revolver not a pistol.
posted by tkchrist at 12:30 PM on December 7, 2009


I am not sure someone who can't figure out why it is called a revolver should be allowed to have one.
posted by Cranberry at 12:40 PM on December 7, 2009 [1 favorite]


I thought for sure that Mr. Mustache spinning the barrel on the revolver would be the cue for the bow-chicka-bow-wow music to start and the full-on porn to get going.

I seriously thought that actually. It's a really odd point, and the way it cut's back and forth between them makes it almost Lynchian but without the creepy music.
posted by P.o.B. at 12:44 PM on December 7, 2009


I thought for sure that Mr. Mustache spinning the barrel on the revolver...

*cough*Cylinder*cough*


'scuse me. Just had to clear my throat.
posted by quin at 12:53 PM on December 7, 2009 [2 favorites]


Yes, yes. Cylinder. I knew that when I hit post. I'm just a dumbass heathen Glock owner so have patience.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:54 PM on December 7, 2009


I first misread it as he spun the revolver on a barrel (I assumed Russian Roulette style) and I was confused enough as to what the hell something like that would be doing in any video as described above, that I broke with my tradition of not watching videos at work to see what was going on.

To be honest, I was a little disappointed. I was hoping for some The Deer Hunter kind of action interspersed in there.
posted by quin at 1:16 PM on December 7, 2009


Hey someone's in the house, let's talk on the phone instead of GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE!

When I went to the firing range for the first time, I shot a 357 magnum. I aimed for the chest and hit the head each time. Good enough for me.
posted by stormpooper at 1:22 PM on December 7, 2009


I was hoping for some The Deer Hunter kind of action interspersed in there.

That was after they went shopping.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:30 PM on December 7, 2009


Lee Purcell was in Mr. Majestyk with Charles Bronson. I don't for even one second believe she knows nothing about guns.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:46 PM on December 7, 2009


Hey Revolver, don't Mothers, make good Fathers?
posted by mannequito at 1:47 PM on December 7, 2009


Yes, yes. Cylinder. I knew that when I hit post. I'm just a dumbass heathen Glock owner so have patience.

And that's another thing . . . guess semi-automatics are just too complicated/tough for this little lady to learn about.
posted by bearwife at 2:20 PM on December 7, 2009


This is all well and good, but just remember moms! A SHOEBOX IS NOT A GUN SAFE!
posted by mccarty.tim at 4:15 PM on December 7, 2009


Man, this short calls for MST3K. I mean, the woman is getting more and more interested in guns. Naturally, she won't be happy with targets for long, and so she and the girls will move on to hunting. They'll start with rabbits, then deer, and soon they'll go after bears. Unfortunately, the human spirit is restless and quick to grow acclimated, so they'll need to move on to the most dangerous game.

Also, the slow explanations and weird moments are so ripe for comments. But I'm not sure EIT and MST3K can coexist safely without tearing reality. It's like two electrons showing up in one point in space.
posted by mccarty.tim at 4:18 PM on December 7, 2009


Why would any woman need a gun when she has Broadview Security?
posted by mccarty.tim at 4:20 PM on December 7, 2009


I await the SLEIT qualifier. And, no, the first link does not count.
posted by Bovine Love at 4:48 PM on December 7, 2009


And that's another thing . . . guess semi-automatics are just too complicated/tough for this little lady to learn about.

That's because semi-automatics are monstrously silly things to keep in the nightstand drawer for self-defense.

Revolvers are point and shoot.

Automatics are "Ohmigawd, there's someone in the house. I better get the pistol. Wait, did I leave a round chambered? Shit. Which of these buttons is the decocker again? Fuck, is that the safety? Is the damn thing even loaded? Shit, now I dropped the magazine on the floor and how am I gonna ... BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:48 PM on December 7, 2009


Automatics are...

Eh, depends on how often you fire it. I fire my USP enough that I'm not worried about forgetting how to operate it, and I'm OCD enough that it's always in exactly the same state (cocked & locked, full mag + 1 in the chamber) in my gun safe. But if you're the kind of buyer who gets a gun, fires it maybe once at the range, then buries it in a shoebox or safe for 3 years... then yeah, I agree revolvers are the best.

Revolvers are also my gun of choice for teaching someone to shoot, for similar reasons (both operation & safety are simpler on a revolver).
posted by wildcrdj at 6:01 PM on December 7, 2009


I better get the pistol. Wait, did I leave a round chambered? Shit. Which of these buttons is the decocker again? Fuck, is that the safety? Is the damn thing even loaded?

Get a Glock. You can easily see if there is a round in the chamber (open bolt and the little indicator tab), no separate cocking or safety motions--all done by the trigger. Now, the downside is if you're feeling terrified and not holding your hands sturdily, the sucker will jam since you're not giving it adequate resistance to reload itself. That also might come into play if you're wounded, now that I think about it. Maybe get one of each flavor just to be thorough.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:12 PM on December 7, 2009


Burhanistan : Get a Glock.

Blasphemy. Handguns should have external hammers, and if semi-automatic, manual safeties. This is the right, and only way. (Unless you are talking about the Glock 18 which transcends typical striker fired ickyness by virtue of being select fire fully automatic, and generally unobtainable.)

Walther P99s also don't count as striker-icky because I say so. Deal.
posted by quin at 9:50 PM on December 7, 2009


Oh man, I might have chosen the wrong day to blow my Everything is Terrible load. POKEMON IS THE DEVIL
posted by The Devil Tesla at 2:54 PM on December 8, 2009


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