What Calvin's snowmen would look like in real life.
January 8, 2010 5:22 PM   Subscribe

38 Snowman nightmares If Calvin were a real kid and made his snowmen on a real lawn, it would look something like this.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies (38 comments total) 32 users marked this as a favorite

 
If Calvin were a real kid, he'd pee on snowmen.
posted by qvantamon at 5:23 PM on January 8, 2010


Some of those are incredibly hilarious! That's neat. Thanks for the link.
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:25 PM on January 8, 2010


on a related note: why do I still not have the calvin and hobbes collection? what am I waiting for? it's the best thing ever. these pics are pretty outstanding.
posted by shmegegge at 5:28 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


Cute, fun stuff.
posted by Mister_A at 5:31 PM on January 8, 2010


So I really like the Snow Monster, but something about it looks wrong. Too smooth, for one thing. Any way to find out if it's real?
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 5:35 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


> I really like the Snow Monster, but something about it looks wrong.

I'm wondering if it's made out of covered blocks, igloo-style.
posted by Decimask at 5:38 PM on January 8, 2010


why do I still not have the calvin and hobbes collection?

The hardbound box set is actually uncomfortably large & heavy for reading in bed. But it is a good deal for the money, especially when it goes on sale.

Also: I am Calvin's Dad.
posted by GuyZero at 5:41 PM on January 8, 2010


I also like the one from Rejected.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:47 PM on January 8, 2010


I like the part where he explains what happens in every strip and why it is funny.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:49 PM on January 8, 2010 [6 favorites]


previously
posted by netbros at 5:49 PM on January 8, 2010


Hmm....I saw this elsewhere on the web, hadn't even noticed that post. But hopefully more people will see this now, because it's stinking hilarious.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:52 PM on January 8, 2010


AH! I *thought* I saw one from Rejected!

Someone should do the cloud with the bleeding anus.
posted by notsnot at 5:57 PM on January 8, 2010


Calvin and Hobbes was a huge force for good in my life when I was growing up.
posted by dunkadunc at 5:58 PM on January 8, 2010


I have a 7 seven year old son with messy blonde hair whose name is Callum. At least once a month I call him Calvin by accident.
posted by CaseyB at 6:05 PM on January 8, 2010


I'm pretty sure that the ones of the monster eating the snowmen by the handful were made outside the Susan B. Anthony dorm at the University of Rochester.
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:12 PM on January 8, 2010


I always found something a little unsettling about snowmen. This confirms it.
posted by futureisunwritten at 6:16 PM on January 8, 2010


My neighbor's snowman is drunk and has a gun.

Thank Dog he melted.
posted by zinfandel at 6:18 PM on January 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


Snow sculpture tips:
If the snow becomes too dry or powdery while you're sculpting, just use spray from a garden hose to wet it lightly.

If the snow becomes frozen, you can use a chainsaw.

If part of your snow sculpture breaks, wet both surfaces lightly, reattach the piece that broke off and fasten it with clamps, fabric or bungee cords.

When your snow sculpture is finished, spray it lightly with the garden hose and your masterpiece will freeze solid.
posted by filthy light thief at 6:21 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


At least once a month I call him Calvin by accident.
Neither of my sons are named Calvin, but several times a month I lovingly call them "Calvin!"

Thanks for this post!! This is my favorite series of the Calvin and Hobbes comics, and I've always wanted to recreate them.
posted by njbradburn at 6:33 PM on January 8, 2010


My son and I made this recently. (self link to Flickr)
posted by bondcliff at 6:52 PM on January 8, 2010 [4 favorites]


Wouldn't making these snowpersons be copyright infringement?



*ducks*
posted by chugg at 7:22 PM on January 8, 2010


Semi-related Reddit thread
posted by dirigibleman at 7:41 PM on January 8, 2010


Oh my God, flash back to high school and being left home with my younger sister while the parents were away for a few days. It was winter, we were bored and so we decided to make Calvin snowmen in the front yard, using branches for gut-stick arrows, a tire for the one that got run over and, gloriously, several tubs'-worth of my mother's absolutely disgusting beef stew to indicate blood and viscera. And lo, did the neighbors slow down and stare.

Comics were not a bad influence on us. We turned out OK, really, even though at Christmas my sister still insists on putting a Wolverine figure in the creche to watch over Baby Jesus.
posted by MonkeyToes at 7:46 PM on January 8, 2010 [9 favorites]


I think using red stuff for the gore is cheating.
posted by straight at 8:14 PM on January 8, 2010


I think using red stuff for the gore is cheating.

How do you know the sculptors didn't use their own blood?

Which, come to think of it, is still red stuff, but I'm not sure how you can not cheat in that case.
posted by axiom at 8:23 PM on January 8, 2010


I would vouch for Wolverine's Jesus-saving powers any time, I think that should really be a standard decoration in churches. Especially since the venerated movie Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter (also on IMDB) clearly demonstrates how much Jesus learned from his days under Wolverine's patronage. That, and Ultrachrist, of course.

As for Calvine's snowman, if more children used their spare time for projects of the sort, the world would clearly be a better place. Or at least a lot more hilarious.
posted by wet-raspberry at 8:26 PM on January 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


It's fantastic that Calvin & Hobbes gags are still as sharp, funny, and interesting both 1) as they were 10 years ago, and 2) translated into a real-life setting.

Best strip ever.
posted by The Lurkers Support Me in Email at 9:07 PM on January 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


* For large values of 10
posted by The Lurkers Support Me in Email at 9:08 PM on January 8, 2010


It's fantastic that Calvin & Hobbes gags are still as sharp, funny, and interesting both 1) as they were 10 years ago, and 2) translated into a real-life setting.

Everything is great, for all time*.

*subject to change
posted by dirigibleman at 9:20 PM on January 8, 2010


I suspected Watterson was a bad influence when my son made that two headed snowman. When the hand reached up from the grave on the next one I knew it was true. I just hope he does not build a snow man army in the driveway and ice them down with the hose, although that would save considerable money on our lawn mowing and leaf raking contract.
posted by caddis at 10:04 PM on January 8, 2010


Two words: SNOW GOONS.

Beware. They are coming, and there are more of them all the time.
posted by JHarris at 5:45 AM on January 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


We made snow zombies this year, and then decapitated them. There were frying pans involved. Clearly next time we must do even better.

I need to read calvin and hobbes again. i suddenly miss them.
posted by stillnocturnal at 6:31 AM on January 9, 2010


Both the post and the comments thread have me giggling maniacally. Excellent.
posted by tinatiga at 8:18 AM on January 9, 2010


[this is good]
posted by CitizenD at 8:57 AM on January 9, 2010


Charles Schultz pioneered the little snowmen in comics concept, probably mid-1970's?

Linus constructed an audience and a lectern, then commenced with: "You're probably all wondering why I asked you here today..."
posted by ovvl at 11:56 AM on January 9, 2010


ovvl, I don't doubt it. Some little things about the style of C&H lead me to believe Watterson was a fan of classic Peanuts. That doesn't mean Schulz had any kind of ownership over the idea of funny snowmen however. I'd be surprised if Schulz was the first, even, to do snowman gags.
posted by JHarris at 1:07 PM on January 9, 2010


I was just thinking... one of the things about Calvin and Hobbes that makes it great is how transgressive it is with language and social concepts. Snowmen try to commit suicide! Continuity-strip-Calvin dreams of divorce from Continuity-strip-Suzie, who brings home their baby from the hospital -- and that turns out to be a rabbit! Calvin invokes the power of the snow demons to bring life to his snow creation!

Comic syndicates are notoriously hide-bound and conservative in what they distribute. I get the feeling that these strips would not be possible in the current comics climate.
posted by JHarris at 1:14 PM on January 9, 2010


JHarris:
Watterson said his main influences in creating Calvin and Hobbes were Krazy Kat and the Peanuts, and that Calvin and Hobbes was his attempt at giving the Peanuts the surreal, unstructured 3'd look of krazy kat. This was in the introductions to at least one of his books, but I don't have them handy.

Krazy Kat, by the way was an amazing cartoon strip. It ran for 30-odd years, starting almost a hundred years ago. The wikipedia page gives a good overview of its wackiness.
posted by lkc at 8:55 PM on January 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


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