He was no Joe Shlabotnik

January 12, 2010 6:29 PM

In an age where baseball heroes are reviled as frauds, one player's reputation remains secure. His won-loss record and career ERA set standards that will never be matched; the same is true for the character he displayed on and off the mound. But, unbelievable as it may seem, no one has ever set down the exhaustive account of this lion of the diamond. Until now. Charlie Brown's career statistics, 1951-1960. Charlie Brown's career statistics, 1961-1970. Previously on MetaFilter: action-packed four-panel drawings of some of Charlie's greatest games, with material from his personal life as well.
posted by escabeche (26 comments total)

Hmmmm.... premature hair loss and a giant head. Charlie Brown must be on 'roids!
posted by Frank Grimes at 6:32 PM on January 12, 2010 [6 favorites]

This is great. Also, Frank Miller's Shulz City: That Yellow-Shirted Such-and-Such
posted by The White Hat at 6:35 PM on January 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

Crap, I forgot to say: via Baseball Think Factory.
posted by escabeche at 6:46 PM on January 12, 2010

What the hell: Wu-Peanuts.
posted by box at 6:55 PM on January 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

What the hell: Wu-Tang Clan vs E Street Band.
posted by box at 6:56 PM on January 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

Oh, it's like that, is it. Then I guess it's time for Charles Schulz's Watchmen.
posted by escabeche at 7:00 PM on January 12, 2010

What the hell: Bruce Springsteen - Glory Days.
posted by box at 7:00 PM on January 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

You know what? I just may prefer imaginary baseball to real baseball these days.
posted by jabberjaw at 7:06 PM on January 12, 2010

ohmygod, this satisfies so much in my life.
posted by Corduroy at 7:11 PM on January 12, 2010

Peanuts, by Charles Bukowski for the win.
posted by notyou at 7:13 PM on January 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

Okay, maybe he hasn't admitted PED use yet, but he's gonna get caught, just you wait and see.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:19 PM on January 12, 2010

I just love the fact that Joe Schlabotnik's team is called the Waffletown Syrups.

The "official" roster of Charlie Brown's team:

Pitcher and Manager: Charlie Brown
Catcher: Schroeder
1st Base: Shermy
2nd Base: Linus or Pig-Pen
3rd Base: Pig-Pen
Shortstop: Snoopy
Left Field: Patty or Rerun
Center Field: Frieda
Right Field: Lucy
posted by Hardcore Poser at 7:21 PM on January 12, 2010

Snoopy at shortstop is a solid pick, but I always wanted to know who the opposing batter was who knocked Charlie Brown's clothes off with a line drive. Sign that kid up.
posted by total warfare frown at 7:27 PM on January 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

All of those players, good as they are, lack a certain dimension.
posted by Neiltupper at 7:48 PM on January 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

His career as a football kicker was not as storied as his baseball career.
posted by infinitewindow at 7:50 PM on January 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

Shoulda put Lucy at first--that girl is quick.
posted by box at 7:59 PM on January 12, 2010

And here I was, getting excited about a FPP about Hoosier baseball legend Mordecai "Three Finger"/"Miner" Brown.
posted by NolanRyanHatesMatches at 8:12 PM on January 12, 2010

"Good ol' Gregor Brown"
posted by vronsky at 8:14 PM on January 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

Its common knowledge that Charlie Brown juiced.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:20 PM on January 12, 2010

I don't know where they got the source for the "official" roster in Hardcore Poseur's link, but if IIRC, I think Sally is more likely to be in Left Field then Rerun, as Rerun would be too young to be playing with his older siblings, while Patty is actually the player/manager of another team that frequently plays Charlie's team.

And where's Franklin? It pains me to think that Good Ol Charlie Brown played in a segregated Little League.

Plate of Beans, anyone? Whatever. This is a welcome relief from the all the drama of the McGwire thread yesterday.
posted by KingEdRa at 8:45 PM on January 12, 2010

I am waiting for them to calculate Shlabotnik's batting average.
posted by stargell at 8:46 PM on January 12, 2010

Joe Shlabotnik: not as cute as I thought he was
posted by stargell at 8:51 PM on January 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'll do anything to get a Joe Shlabotnik bubble gum card
posted by stargell at 8:54 PM on January 12, 2010

KingEdRa: Wrong Patty. Another girl by that name dates back to the very first Peanuts strip. Schulz and Peanuts: A Biography claims they were both inspired by the same person in Charles Schulz's life, but the two characters' personalities in the strip couldn't have been more different.
posted by JHarris at 2:17 AM on January 13, 2010

After thinking about that 'official' lineup for a little while: Putting all the female players in the outfield while a space-case like Linus plays 2B with a blanket in one hand? A catcher that's a dedicated pianist, for Chrissake? Charlie Brown's a worse manager than he is a pitcher.
posted by box at 7:39 AM on January 13, 2010

And where's Franklin? It pains me to think that Good Ol Charlie Brown played in a segregated Little League.

I'm pretty sure Franklin is on Peppermint Patty's team.
posted by Dr-Baa at 9:13 AM on January 13, 2010