666 t3h # of the beast

January 17, 2010 3:42 PM

A brilliant farce (or is it) The Antichrist Conspiracy, Get ready to dig deep into the world wide web of conspiracy. Learn about the Luciferians, the Freemasons, and the Metafilter-moderator-cabal who together with the dark lord of hell and Yonkers is trying to harvest your organs for Satan.

I've already said to much. At any moment they'll be here to silence me.

posted by nola (52 comments total)

Mods, please delete this.

Gemini Watchdog Waffleburger Noon.
posted by Elmore at 3:52 PM on January 17, 2010 [2 favorites]

Can we have a link to the MetaTalk comment or whatever that explains this apparent in-joke?
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:54 PM on January 17, 2010 [2 favorites]

You'd think this was a new episode of The Brass Eye.
posted by dunkadunc at 3:55 PM on January 17, 2010

Congratulations! This post confirms your final requirement for a trip into the cabal volcano. (We kid, of course. There is no volcano. There is no cabal.) Now, this is very important: are you a virgin?
posted by zarq at 3:57 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

k4b, the full list of in jokes is on the wiki. As is an admonishment that they're frowned upon....
posted by zarq at 3:59 PM on January 17, 2010

Don't toy with me zarq I'm beyond your mortal ways . . . with the whole thrusting and pushing and throbbing
posted by nola at 4:00 PM on January 17, 2010

Why the hell would the Yankees want to harvest my orgasms for <Santa?
posted by Elmore at 4:03 PM on January 17, 2010

nola: Right. OK. Virgin, it is then. In you go! :D
posted by zarq at 4:06 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

I always count my organs before and after I go to sleep.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 4:07 PM on January 17, 2010

kittens for breakfast: “Can we have a link to the MetaTalk comment or whatever that explains this apparent in-joke?”

In-joke? Whatever. Have you watched any of that video? It's awesome - truly weird music + images. This post should stay.
posted by koeselitz at 4:14 PM on January 17, 2010

Wot, no Gaga?

Actually, looks like they get to the pop culture ladystars and their Satanism/mind control around 1:34, based on my slapping the time slider around.
posted by mccarty.tim at 4:16 PM on January 17, 2010

ARMAGEDDON - THIS BEAUTIFUL TREE
posted by koeselitz at 4:17 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Man, these conspiracy theorists have the coolest 3D effects. And I like how they trademarked Illuminati.

You'd think that if the Free Mason Illuminates Moderators controlled everything, they'd want to maintain their intellectual property. Unless they're hiding by not acting like they care about their name. HAMBURGER ON TOP OF A PYRAMID

Virgin wants a volcanotrip plz
posted by mccarty.tim at 4:19 PM on January 17, 2010

Dude, I watched some of it, and I honestly can't tell if it's a put-on or not; I've seen so much stuff like this over the years that it's not really funny to me. It's very 1995.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:20 PM on January 17, 2010

The fact that it's on Google Video leads me to think it's real. The crazies tend to roost there, because it lets you post long, nonsensical videos.
posted by mccarty.tim at 4:26 PM on January 17, 2010

But, but I've never even been to Yonkers. WTF? WWRFD?*

*What Would Randall Flagg Do?
posted by MikeMc at 4:26 PM on January 17, 2010

555ft above ground + 111ft below ground = Washington Monument is 666ft in totality. My head fnord asplodes, it's true, the Luciferians do run America.
posted by MikeMc at 4:30 PM on January 17, 2010

Okay, 31 minutes caught me off guard. I'm laughing so hard.
posted by mccarty.tim at 4:30 PM on January 17, 2010

Goddamn it why do they have to take the beautiful music of Penderecki and use it as if it were fucking "scary devil music". Philistines.
posted by idiopath at 4:31 PM on January 17, 2010 [2 favorites]

Why The Face?
posted by bstreep at 4:37 PM on January 17, 2010

Zarq - Thank you for the list to the injokes. I finally know what HAMBURGER means.
posted by AzzaMcKazza at 4:47 PM on January 17, 2010

Here's the source site: enigmatv.com, according to the beginning of the movie. It looks like they're legitimate nutters, not hipster dbag parodists.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 4:57 PM on January 17, 2010

Jones!!!!!
posted by battleshipkropotkin at 4:59 PM on January 17, 2010

Can we have your liver, then?
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 5:03 PM on January 17, 2010

There is no cabal.
posted by cortex at 5:28 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

When I was about eleven I wrote a BASIC program that would add up the ASCII values of a string of characters. It turned out that "al gore" = 666.
posted by dunkadunc at 5:31 PM on January 17, 2010

Too. Not to. Mkay?
posted by Splunge at 5:40 PM on January 17, 2010

I really tried, but I couldn't make it past the 10 minute mark. It feels too earnest to be a put on, though. More like the video version of the hypercube guy.
posted by KGMoney at 5:44 PM on January 17, 2010

Well, I'm at 4:30 and seriously freaked out.
posted by angrycat at 5:48 PM on January 17, 2010

AzzaMcKazza, You're very welcome.
posted by zarq at 5:53 PM on January 17, 2010

We reject these allegations of organ harvest & will wager a pound of Our specialty foie gras for anybody who can prove otherwise.

Just remember to post your residential address to ensure safe delivery.
posted by the Cabal at 6:06 PM on January 17, 2010

RumpledKarma: that's exactly what I think too, but I'd be surprised if they allowed your post to remain.
posted by jepler at 6:07 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Thing is, the physicist Jack Parsons did meet up with his friend L Ron Hubbard in the Mojave desert with the intent of summoning up an evil superbeing. Hubbard later ran off with Parsons' boat, his girl, and his money. Call it irony, or call it magic.
posted by kid ichorous at 6:55 PM on January 17, 2010

Hubbard later ran off with Parsons' boat, his girl, and his money. Call it irony, or call it magic.

I call it "The Birth of Scientology".
posted by MikeMc at 7:04 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

I never knew that Icke rhymed with "Mike." I always enjoyed reading it as "Icky."
posted by gubo at 7:09 PM on January 17, 2010 [2 favorites]

The website condenses all the crazy down into one view, betcha can't look away!
posted by 445supermag at 7:23 PM on January 17, 2010

betcha can't look away!

I'm not sure if I looked away or not because I'm fucking blind now thank you very much!!!!!!
posted by MikeMc at 7:29 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

kid ichorous: "Twith the intent of summoning up an evil superbeing. Hubbard later ran off with Parsons' boat, his girl, and his money. Call it irony, or call it magic."

It gets better: the evil superbeing was The Whore of Babylon, and the method of summoning it was Hubbard's idea, and involved Hubbard having all sorts of kinky sex with the dude's wife while the dude watched (she was supposed to be fertilized with a baby that would then become the whore).

If there were any justice in this world we would have seen some kind of public conflict between Bob Marley and L. Ron Hubbard, involving Reggae music, lots of ganja, nasty butt-slapping sex, and E-meters, that would have settled this whole "Babylon" issue once and for all. Maybe throw in David Bowie and Jimmy Paige too, since they were also obsessed with this stuff.
posted by idiopath at 8:19 PM on January 17, 2010

idiopath, don't you mean gancha?
posted by nola at 8:28 PM on January 17, 2010

AND LOL, IT SHALL COME TO PASS
posted by koeselitz at 8:34 PM on January 17, 2010

THE TEXT HERE NEVER BLINKS!

JUST LIKE A HYPNOTIST.
posted by benzenedream at 8:43 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Sigh. I love a good conspiracy. On to the Denver Airport!
posted by buzzkillington at 8:58 PM on January 17, 2010

REVERSE VAMPIRES?!
posted by The Whelk at 9:27 PM on January 17, 2010

David Icke? OK, now I'm definitely not watching it. Please stop giving these idiots the attention they so desperately crave.
posted by usonian at 9:32 PM on January 17, 2010

It gets better: the evil superbeing was The Whore of Babylon, and the method of summoning it was Hubbard's idea, and involved Hubbard having all sorts of kinky sex with the dude's wife while the dude watched

Crowley's commentary: 'Apparently Parsons or Hubbard or somebody is producing a Moonchild. I get fairly frantic when I contemplate the idiocy of these louts.'

It's like a Sith version of General Hospital.
posted by kid ichorous at 9:39 PM on January 17, 2010 [4 favorites]

Oh fantastic

The Illuminati Volume 4 - Brotherhood of the Beast The world's first political documentary film series to go into FOUR volumes - Release Date 10-01-10

I see the director's website is, along a similar line and what makes me think they're true believers is, scroll down, he spends a lot of time slagging off other conspiraloons
posted by quarsan at 10:25 PM on January 17, 2010

She never blinks! Just like a hypnotist
posted by From Bklyn at 2:13 AM on January 18, 2010

What no BatShitInsane tag?
posted by Mastercheddaar at 6:15 AM on January 18, 2010

Hubbard later ran off with Parsons' boat, his girl, and his money. Call it irony, or call it magic.

I call it "The Birth of Scientology".

Also, the ritual they performed, known as the Babalon Working, involved them butt-fucking each other (it's said Hubbard was the bottom). I only mention this because Hubbard was virulently homophobic, wrote Scientology scripture that claims gays are less than human, and drove his closeted gay son to suicide.
posted by DecemberBoy at 6:15 AM on January 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Also, the ritual they performed, known as the Babalon Working, involved them butt-fucking each other (it's said Hubbard was the bottom). I only mention this because Hubbard was virulently homophobic, wrote Scientology scripture that claims gays are less than human, and drove his closeted gay son to suicide.

Could you cite a source for this accusation, please? I didn't see anything which supports it in kid ichorus' link, and the various descriptions on the net don't mention it either.

Plus, all the eyeroll-worthy total batshitinsanity from looking up that ritual is giving me an awful headache.
posted by zarq at 9:04 AM on January 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Could you cite a source for this accusation, please?

There is an extensive retelling of the Working in Atacks' "A Piece of Blue Sky" (highly recommended BTW) but I seem to have missed the sodomy part.
posted by MikeMc at 9:41 AM on January 18, 2010

MikeMc, thanks. I'll download the book. Looks fascinating.

...but I seem to have missed the sodomy part.

Me too.
posted by zarq at 9:55 AM on January 18, 2010