WORK HARD PLAY HARD

January 27, 2010 2:08 PM

WORK HARD PLAY HARD - Vice Magazine presents a mens fashion photo shoot where all models are sporting erections.

Imagine how good these photos would look if you were looking at them on an iPad tablet.

posted by The Devil Tesla (165 comments total)

And pursed lips, oddly enough. But I guess that's most men's fashion photo shoots.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 2:10 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

Oscar de la Tenta.
posted by ColdChef at 2:10 PM on January 27, 2010 [26 favorites]

...why yes, I am happy to see you. Why do you ask?
posted by spacewrench at 2:16 PM on January 27, 2010

So this is a good thread on the blue? Really? Does a wet t-shirt contest count...or maybe if they were dressed in designer clothes?
posted by hal_c_on at 2:17 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

Diane von Burstenberg
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 2:17 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

This post can dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan.
posted by gman at 2:19 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

I love the Blue Steel™ in this one.
posted by Navelgazer at 2:19 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

Vice, one again trying too hard.
posted by The Whelk at 2:20 PM on January 27, 2010 [5 favorites]

Sounds like hal_c_on has a bone to pick.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 2:20 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

United Colors of Bonetton
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 2:20 PM on January 27, 2010 [4 favorites]

cocks
posted by Greg Nog at 2:21 PM on January 27, 2010 [12 favorites]

Pic of the creative director.
posted by billysumday at 2:21 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

Dolce & Gabboner
posted by bewilderbeast at 2:22 PM on January 27, 2010 [6 favorites]

Liz Claibone
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 2:23 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

[more inside indeed]
posted by Balisong at 2:23 PM on January 27, 2010 [8 favorites]

Vera Wang
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 2:24 PM on January 27, 2010 [34 favorites]

All models wearing Tom Ford for Men cologne

Funny. I would have guessed Ralph Lauren's Pole-o.
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:25 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Wishbone?
posted by minimii at 2:26 PM on January 27, 2010

Is-he mi-yang-e? Christian lacox?
posted by lalochezia at 2:27 PM on January 27, 2010

Geez, you guys are always so full of snark. Don't be so hardon them.
posted by Sova at 2:27 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

A submarine! Get it?
posted by shakespeherian at 2:28 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

Bulge-ari.
posted by jquinby at 2:29 PM on January 27, 2010

We're witnessing an actual Blazecock Pileon, people.
posted by The Whelk at 2:29 PM on January 27, 2010 [11 favorites]

"Organizational policies prohibit access to this page...."

Why did I even click that here anyway?

Tom Ford

(wait I think I'm doing it wrong)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:30 PM on January 27, 2010

(okay I made my joke not realizing that Tom Ford was actually mentioned in the link...sadly makes it actually less funny)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:31 PM on January 27, 2010

Banana Republic
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:32 PM on January 27, 2010 [15 favorites]

7" For All Mankind
posted by kenko at 2:35 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

Betsy Johnson
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 2:37 PM on January 27, 2010 [4 favorites]

This dog looks so nervous. I feel very sorry for him.
posted by jeanmari at 2:37 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Vivienne Westwood
posted by bewilderbeast at 2:38 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Calvin nicht so Klein
posted by nathancaswell at 2:40 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

Vice Webazine is for people who cannot seem to get their fill of Terry Richardson and those who imitate him.

Plus, although I'd like to watch their Liberia series, the delivery system they chose to implement their distribution of video content with sucks the biggie and thus cannot be watched.
posted by jsavimbi at 2:41 PM on January 27, 2010

Issey Mikake
posted by nathancaswell at 2:41 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

So are they real or prosthetic? Or shopped? If real: Viagra or natural? If natural: fluffed or fantasized?
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 2:41 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Dong Ed Hardy
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 2:42 PM on January 27, 2010

Fap
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:42 PM on January 27, 2010

Dongatella Versace
posted by nathancaswell at 2:42 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

Helmut Long
posted by nathancaswell at 2:42 PM on January 27, 2010

Prodda
posted by nathancaswell at 2:43 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

A. Testicloni
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:44 PM on January 27, 2010

Judging by their styling, I'm going with Alexander McQueen
posted by kitarra at 2:44 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Genital Pants Co.
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:44 PM on January 27, 2010

Ben Sher-manhood
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 2:44 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

This is bollocks.
posted by gomichild at 2:46 PM on January 27, 2010

Dick Biggembergs
Cocko Chanel
Issey Bukkake
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:46 PM on January 27, 2010

Kenneth Pole
posted by nathancaswell at 2:46 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

Stifford.
posted by ColdChef at 2:48 PM on January 27, 2010

Ralph Lauren Purple-Header
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:48 PM on January 27, 2010

Huge-o Boss
posted by toadliquor at 2:49 PM on January 27, 2010

United Colors of Bonetton
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 2:20 PM on 1/27

You should have said "Bonertown." :(
posted by Optimus Chyme at 2:49 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

Byeefs Saint Laurent.
posted by ColdChef at 2:49 PM on January 27, 2010

This guy is wearing loden donger pants.
posted by psylosyren at 2:51 PM on January 27, 2010

Doubtless do their shopping at Sacs Fifth Avenue.
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:51 PM on January 27, 2010 [4 favorites]

Dickers.
posted by ColdChef at 2:52 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Valentino Garavani Penis Joke
posted by shakespeherian at 2:52 PM on January 27, 2010 [4 favorites]

Oscar de la Rentboys
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:55 PM on January 27, 2010 [7 favorites]

I assumed they were all from that new designer Hubert Geoffrey Rection.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:56 PM on January 27, 2010

Juicing Couture
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:56 PM on January 27, 2010

Pierre Hardon
posted by nathancaswell at 2:56 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

Cocko Chanel
posted by nathancaswell at 2:56 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

I assumed they were all from that new designer Hubert Geoffrey Rection

Didn't he once work for Haywood Jablome?
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:56 PM on January 27, 2010

Patrick Cocks
posted by nathancaswell at 2:58 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

A submarine! Get it?

Been down on a submarine lately?
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 2:59 PM on January 27, 2010

Dong Paul Gaultier
posted by nathancaswell at 2:59 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

Karl Longerfeld.
posted by ColdChef at 2:59 PM on January 27, 2010

Cole Hung
posted by Horace Rumpole at 3:00 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

Louis Baton
posted by nathancaswell at 3:00 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

When the idea you're pitching is pitching.
posted by Abiezer at 3:00 PM on January 27, 2010

Penis.
posted by Justinian at 3:02 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

wait, what?
posted by Justinian at 3:02 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Vivienne Bestwood
posted by nathancaswell at 3:02 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Liz Claibone
posted by nathancaswell at 3:03 PM on January 27, 2010

Bestey Johnson
posted by nathancaswell at 3:03 PM on January 27, 2010

Donga Karan
posted by nathancaswell at 3:03 PM on January 27, 2010

Balenciagra
posted by hermitosis at 3:04 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

Sean Combs-his-pubic-hair?
posted by nathancaswell at 3:04 PM on January 27, 2010

Yvescock Saintcock Laurentcock. Okay, let me explain this one, what I did here is --
posted by user92371 at 3:05 PM on January 27, 2010 [6 favorites]

I think I've run out... golf claps all around.
posted by nathancaswell at 3:06 PM on January 27, 2010

Izod As A Rock
posted by toadliquor at 3:08 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

I think I've run out... golf claps all around.

yeah, I think we've gone sartorialimp.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 3:16 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

DicKNY
posted by Ratio at 3:18 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

So, if I buy these pants and they don't give me an immediate raging boner when I put them on, can I sue for false advertising?
posted by Lutoslawski at 3:20 PM on January 27, 2010

Work hard, play hard, spend the rest of the day trying to hide the stain.
posted by fight or flight at 3:21 PM on January 27, 2010

Eighty comments in, and I don't see "Gasp! Magnum!" anywhere?

Weak, people.
posted by mhoye at 3:26 PM on January 27, 2010

Bellendciaga
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:29 PM on January 27, 2010

In retrospect, all of this creative energy could have been more profitably channelled.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:29 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Abercrombie and Pitch
posted by swift at 3:35 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

I like this post.
posted by jessamyn at 3:39 PM on January 27, 2010 [6 favorites]

Members Only
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 3:39 PM on January 27, 2010 [11 favorites]

Yves Saint Tumescent
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:41 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

In retrospect, all of this creative energy could have been more profitably channelled.

Men in Plaid do Men in Stripes 4.
posted by Lutoslawski at 3:41 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Lucky Jeans
posted by brundlefly at 3:43 PM on January 27, 2010

Wangler
posted by brundlefly at 3:44 PM on January 27, 2010 [7 favorites]

Once again, we see that men's fashion has finally caught up with styles I've been rocking for ages now.

I am nothing if not a trendsetter.
posted by quin at 3:45 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

"Are those Bugle Boy jeans you're wearing?"
"No. Trombone."
posted by jonmc at 3:46 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

FUCK
posted by crossoverman at 3:52 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

I like this post.

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

ffs, you guys are asleep at the wheel today.
posted by jessamyn at 3:53 PM on January 27, 2010 [31 favorites]

This post is almost up to 100 CUMMENTS
posted by The Devil Tesla at 3:56 PM on January 27, 2010

you guys are asleep at the wheel today

We're too busy thinking about knobs to pay attention to a woman.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:56 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Also, aww, I thought jessamyn liked my post :(
posted by The Devil Tesla at 3:58 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Christian Lacox
posted by jbickers at 3:59 PM on January 27, 2010

Collette Dongigan
posted by jbickers at 4:00 PM on January 27, 2010

Jean Paul "Penis" Gaultier
posted by jbickers at 4:00 PM on January 27, 2010

Anne Bone
Guilded SausAge
Stiff and Burrows
Bern-hard Willy-helm
Rachel Cumey
Private Part
Very Wang
Cock & Repubic
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 4:01 PM on January 27, 2010

Shoshanna Longstein
posted by jbickers at 4:01 PM on January 27, 2010

Crap, I just realized I posted those in the wrong thread. Sorry!
posted by jbickers at 4:02 PM on January 27, 2010

What is it with a post about hard-ons that leads to a whole bunch of short comments?
posted by philip-random at 4:09 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. Then, sporting an enormous erection, my Kegel exercises. I can exert enough force to catapault a wet bath towel ($400 from Versace) over my shoulder, and am strong enough to hold up a full magnum of Cristal attached with a wool tie ($250, by Kiton). I need a tanning bed in my apartment.
posted by turgid dahlia at 4:17 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

It's funny because you can see their wieners.
posted by Meatbomb at 4:20 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

Seven Inches for All Mankind
posted by Frank Grimes at 4:23 PM on January 27, 2010

Clearly if there's anything that will provoke a torrent of comments on Metafilter it's Apple product launches and penis puns.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:37 PM on January 27, 2010

And I'm not convinced that the two things are unrelated.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:37 PM on January 27, 2010

Then, sporting an enormous erection, my Kegel exercises.

After I checked Wikipedia to see if men do Kegel exercises, I discovered that yes, they do, and yes, they should.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 4:38 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Horace Rumpole: "Clearly if there's anything that will provoke a torrent of comments on Metafilter it's Apple product launches and penis puns."

Don't forget intellectual property. The book piracy FPP I made yesterday got more comments than anything I've posted.
posted by brundlefly at 4:40 PM on January 27, 2010

for underwear shoots, male models used white bread without the crusts for molding/shaping/plumping. i wonder what they use here.
posted by nadawi at 4:44 PM on January 27, 2010

Baguettes?
posted by brundlefly at 4:53 PM on January 27, 2010

Jack not Spade.
posted by jimmythefish at 4:54 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Vivianne Morningwood.
posted by msali at 4:55 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Well, finally Vice amounted to something. Namely inspiring this pun thread.

Me, I prefer Cocker's. So roomy.
posted by loquacious at 5:00 PM on January 27, 2010

Whatever. Punk is dead, SEX has closed down.
posted by ersatz at 5:00 PM on January 27, 2010

Meh, they're no Greg Oden. Even if they Voltron'd up.
posted by yerfatma at 5:04 PM on January 27, 2010

Woodward & Lothrop. oh wait..
posted by MXJ1983 at 5:04 PM on January 27, 2010

This thread is still here?

Huh.

Well at last it proved my theory about pale skinny men.
posted by The Whelk at 5:16 PM on January 27, 2010

Proenza Schlonger
posted by Asparagirl at 5:19 PM on January 27, 2010

All models wearing Tom Ford for Men cologne

'This is the real WTF' as they say... they may as well be wearing Old Spice for all we know. Is this standard practice, to advise alongside fashion photos with the scent the models wear? How is it useful?

... unless 'Tom Ford for Men' is some kind of mystical aphrodisiac cologne that gives you wood?...
posted by joz at 5:22 PM on January 27, 2010

Designer, schmesigner -- I shop at J C Peni.
posted by davejay at 5:31 PM on January 27, 2010 [4 favorites]

Well, I'm turned off now. These make me feel like I'm at [a very rich] high school.
posted by rubah at 5:39 PM on January 27, 2010

Sean Connery wears Schtotta Jockitch.
posted by potch at 5:59 PM on January 27, 2010

one-trick pony thread.
posted by artof.mulata at 6:05 PM on January 27, 2010

I suppose this is as good a place as any to post this tangentally Zoolander-related comment piece from the Guardian.

Good work on the cock jokes, by the way. I like all of your work.
posted by djgh at 6:13 PM on January 27, 2010

one-trick pony thread.

One prick pony?

Sorry
posted by djgh at 6:13 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

one-trick pony

Yes, I find my dick a lot more flexible than that!
posted by crossoverman at 6:18 PM on January 27, 2010

This is a MAGNUM post for the BLUE.

AHEM!...FUCKING WINK, WINK!...FUCKING BLUE-VEIN MAGNUM, I SAID!
posted by Pecinpah at 6:20 PM on January 27, 2010

I can't believe I read the whole thing.
posted by Sailormom at 6:27 PM on January 27, 2010

The Right Honorable Sir Boner-Dickens McGenitals Erectington IV


Did I do it right?
posted by Theodore Sign at 6:49 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Crap, I just realized I posted those in the wrong thread. Sorry!

Premature Meficulation.
posted by swell at 6:55 PM on January 27, 2010

This would be a fine time for Cock-knee rhyming slang.
posted by zippy at 6:57 PM on January 27, 2010

All of these items are on sale in SF at Harry O Menswear.
posted by zippy at 7:00 PM on January 27, 2010

It's funny dumb because you can can't see their wieners.

I mean, come on; this is Vice we're talking about. Show some cock, assholes, if you want to be fashion-edgy.
posted by mediareport at 7:10 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Premature Meficulation.
posted by swell

Epenisterical.
posted by zippy at 7:32 PM on January 27, 2010

Pole? Oh.
posted by yhbc at 7:48 PM on January 27, 2010

I've never been more worried that an FPP would be deleted before I could get home from work to check it out in my entire life.
posted by kkokkodalk at 8:15 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

(purple) Helmet Wang
posted by chowflap at 8:19 PM on January 27, 2010

And pursed lips, oddly enough.

They're concentrating.
posted by nanojath at 8:31 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

FCUK
posted by aacheson at 8:54 PM on January 27, 2010

Minority Leader John Boehner
posted by Juicy Avenger at 9:01 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

What does it say about me that the first thing I noticed was that this cock is on a late 60's BSA Lightning motorcycle and that the photo itself has been flipped (all of the badging is backwards).

Usually this is a big no-no in a photo featuring a person as people are always slightly asymmetrical. If the model was someone famous you'd note something was off almost immediately, even if you couldn't, er, put your finger on it right away.
posted by maxwelton at 9:02 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

¯\(º_o)/¯
posted by Juicy Avenger at 9:03 PM on January 27, 2010

[yawn]
posted by desuetude at 9:28 PM on January 27, 2010

jesus christ
posted by aesacus at 10:18 PM on January 27, 2010

I need a cigarette.
posted by Surfurrus at 11:41 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]

Pole Smith
posted by patricio at 1:35 AM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Not the best of the internets
posted by caddis at 3:31 AM on January 28, 2010

I get it.
posted by clvrmnky at 6:20 AM on January 28, 2010

So are they real or prosthetic?

My guess is "strap-on."
posted by KirkJobSluder at 6:41 AM on January 28, 2010

(R)ED Rocket campaign.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 11:20 AM on January 28, 2010

Carharrd
posted by drezdn at 11:28 AM on January 28, 2010

Cum des Garçons
posted by piratebowling at 2:17 PM on January 28, 2010

These are really rather modest, aren't they? I mean, they're models, shouldn't they be something that guys should be jealous of and want to aspire to - and women to desire?

/tempted to post using my former username
posted by porpoise at 8:02 PM on January 28, 2010

Dickers
posted by Big_B at 8:21 PM on January 28, 2010

The last one is a little, intimidating, but that could be the folds.
posted by The Whelk at 8:22 PM on January 28, 2010

Dries Van Knobend
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:02 PM on January 28, 2010

And batting for the other team:

Hairy Qunt
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:05 PM on January 28, 2010

Personally, to take a step back from the lovely puns, I think most of these shots would look better if they didn't try to be absurdly blatant.
posted by Goofyy at 12:45 AM on January 29, 2010

I like the ones where they have hard-ons.
posted by Balisong at 1:49 PM on January 30, 2010