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Ad Vocal on My Ass! WTF?
January 27, 2010 6:51 PM   Subscribe

During the broadcast of the upcoming Super Bowl XLVIl (February 7th) CBS has agreed to air a $2.8 million television ad, featuring football star Tim Tebow (Heisman Trophy-winning Florida Gators quarterback) in which he advocates against abortion. The 30-second ad has been produced and paid for by James Dobson's Christian group 'Focus on the Family.' Compare/contrast. For the 2004 Super Bowl broadcast CBS rejected the U.C.C. (aka Congregational Church) advertisement that promoted inclusion for mixed race and gay/lesbian couples, etc. CBS then deemed it an "advocacy ad" not worthy of airtime. So what exactly is CBS' Super Bowl policy on "advocacy ads?" posted by ericb (157 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite

 
That's it. I'm not watching the Super Bowl again this year!

What sucks about this is that commercials are usually the best part of the Super Bowl for me (and I hate commercials).
posted by cjorgensen at 6:55 PM on January 27, 2010


Well, looks like I have my get out for having to go to a superbowl party.
posted by Artw at 6:55 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


CBS justifies 30-second Tim Tebow anti-abortion ad, standing by its choice to air spot.
posted by ericb at 6:56 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Ah! So my 'irrational Ohio State sports fan' driven hate of Tebow is justified. Validation is sweet.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 6:59 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


Usually, when I want the opinion of a multiply-concussed, bible-thumping, former college football star, I go down to the local Jiffy-Lube.
posted by Optamystic at 6:59 PM on January 27, 2010 [94 favorites]


Fiscal Conservatives (i.e. BigCorp) Decline To Anger Social Conservatives (i.e. the votes), Film @ 11
posted by DU at 6:59 PM on January 27, 2010 [4 favorites]


right, well, what else would he say? "honestly, given the risks as they knew them at the time, my mom really should have aborted me and I hope you all take a lesson from that."

I mean, where are his priorities!!!!11!!?
posted by toodleydoodley at 7:01 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


I have no problem with people advocating choosing not to have an abortion. So long as it's still a choice, it's OK by me.
posted by cerebus19 at 7:02 PM on January 27, 2010 [30 favorites]


We appreciate your desire to contact our ministry by mail. In response to your question, both postal mail and donation checks outraged letters [fixed that for them] can be sent to the following mailing address:

Focus on the Family
(a street address is not required)
Colorado Springs, CO 80995

If you need a physical address for sending a UPS or FedEx package (anything for which a street address is required), please use the following address:

Focus on the Family
8605 Explorer Drive
Colorado Springs, CO 80920
posted by cjorgensen at 7:03 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


From ericb's link: "In fact, most media outlets have accepted advocacy ads for some time."

What horseshit. They've been allowing corporate-produced "Hey, Archer Daniels is such a cool company let us count the ways for you!" ads for decades while denying independently produced ads that question the status quo. It should be a Supreme Court issue, this blatant favoring of moneyed corporate interests over grassroots opinion on what are still ostensibly the public airwaves, but we know the current SC majority would somehow fail to see the injustice.

Fuck CBS on this one. When they start running left-leaning advocacy ads I might start rethinking my total boycott of their shit. I suggest others do the same.
posted by mediareport at 7:03 PM on January 27, 2010 [6 favorites]


hay ladies do you liek the footballs? no? well read on. i know you, what its like. your man on the couch every sunday lounging like a sack of potatoes while you doing your laundry and talking to you girlfriends i get it girl hes all hey keep it down i'm trying to get my chip on and my dip on baby its the game. well ladies do we have a plan for you. this year were gonna have something called the super bowl where in addition to showcasing the football talent of the football game were gonna provide for you some music and some wonderful commercials. ladies these are things you will like so instead of gettin mad at your man on the couch you can join him and bring your friends too and make it party like everyone having a good time. this is what were doing were doing this for you, for the ladies. its ladies night in the nfl. the super bowl. game for everyone. babies b precious. dont have no bortions.
posted by billysumday at 7:04 PM on January 27, 2010 [62 favorites]


Down here in Sooner country, we feed on the tears of Saint Tebow.
posted by Dr. Zira at 7:07 PM on January 27, 2010 [4 favorites]


I'm reminded of the Bill Hicks/Letterman situation.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:07 PM on January 27, 2010 [4 favorites]


Boycott Logo, Comedy Central and all Viacom/CBS-associated properties.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:09 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


Come on, I refuse to believe that the quarterback for U of Florida isn't sleeping with just tons and tons of co-eds. Tell me this guy hasn't had a 50% stake in a few trips to the Gainsville Planned Parenthood office. I cannot believe that, unless he's a- or homo- sexual, or maybe there's a NCAA vasectomy requirement (there's a USC compliance joke here I won't make). Either that or I've got my college stereotypes all goofed up again.
posted by nowoutside at 7:13 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


CBS's justification translated into Human:

"In 2004, the Pats were playing the Panthers. Big market teams, and Tom Brady sells like nothing else in a hot-hot-hot sports advertising market. In 2010, we've got Indy vs. New Orleans. Small town shit, and the girls don't dig Payton or Drew so much, and we're taking a bath in sports ad revenue lately - every network's been overbidding for the big events, us included. To be perfectly honest, for 2.8 mil, we'd happily show Justin Timberlake snorting blow off of Janet Jackson's rack in slo-mo. But, we're not even imperfectly honest, so, like, freedom of speech and crap."
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:17 PM on January 27, 2010 [23 favorites]


The think about Tebow's story is that doctors actually told his mother that she could die if she tried to give birth. They were wrong. But think about what he's trying to say. Not only should you not abort, but that you should not abort babies even when the life of the mother is at risk.

That's insane. It was good that his mother was fine, but most of the women who take his advice would end up dead. WTF?
posted by delmoi at 7:19 PM on January 27, 2010 [28 favorites]


It should be a Supreme Court issue, this blatant favoring of moneyed corporate interests over grassroots opinion on what are still ostensibly the public airwaves, but we know the current SC majority would somehow fail to see the injustice.
The Supreme Court is a court of law, not justice, and anyway, you're thinking of Red Lion (a Supreme Court case), which held that the FCC could enforce the "fairness doctrine" (which is basically what you're asking for) but wasn't required to. So take it up with Obama, I guess?
posted by planet at 7:19 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is reasonable. If people are forcing Tim Tebow to get an abortion, he has a right to speak out about that.
posted by mullingitover at 7:19 PM on January 27, 2010 [22 favorites]


The funny (strange, not ha-ha) is the fact that an abortion was recommended for Tebow's mother in order to save her life. This isn't a case where Tebow's mother was a down-on-her-luck teenager making an heroic choice or anything. This wasn't "choose life." It was "We'll make it a true daily double, Alex."

So, I guess the message is, "Just say no to abortion, kids, because those silly doctors don't know what they're talking about. What do they know? They probably went to school and shit. Fuck that. Your kid's gonna be rich and famous!"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:21 PM on January 27, 2010 [20 favorites]


I'd like to point out that, since his mother was not forced to give birth, she benefited from pro-choice policies. Some people tend to forget that pro-choice /= pro-abortion.
posted by emilyd22222 at 7:22 PM on January 27, 2010 [36 favorites]


I love the Superbowl. Haven't missed one in three decades. Guess I'll be skipping this one.
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:22 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Actually, while we're at it, can we boycott Jesus Christ, too? The intersection of money and God is getting to be a problem.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:23 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


CBS is defending its decision to air the ad and says it has changed its mind about airing advocacy ads, which it had rejected in the past.

I'm pretty sure corporations didn't use to refer to themselves in the first person. DAMN YOU SCOTUS!!!
posted by Salvor Hardin at 7:25 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


Enjoy your proximity to the Super Bowl, Tim! Your mom didn't abort you, but the NFL will.
posted by peep at 7:26 PM on January 27, 2010 [10 favorites]


The 30 second commercial is nothing compared to the free airplay this story is going to get on all the media outlets. That's worth a hundred Superbowl commercial slots. Well played, Anti-Choicers.
posted by ColdChef at 7:28 PM on January 27, 2010 [5 favorites]


Hmmm... If anyone's going organize a boycott, they shouldn't try to organize a boycott of the whole Superbowl. That'll obviously be doomed to failure. They should instead organize a boycott of whatever product immediately follows the Focus on the Family ad (without knowing what it is in advance). No one will want that slot. Make CBS have to deal with the advertisers. No matter who gets it, CBS will need to deal with an advertiser pissed that they ran the Family First ad just before theirs. And that ill-will might exist even if the boycott is financially non-efficacious (which they usually are).
posted by painquale at 7:29 PM on January 27, 2010 [32 favorites]


Oh, for the record, if you want to complain to CBS, y'all can do it here. I wrote to them to tell them if I wanted to be preached to, I'd watch "The 700 Club." I avoided making pointed comments about their selection of "The Who" as a halftime act, but that wasn't easy.
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:29 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


Also: this abortion ad should run sandwiched between some beer & titty ads. Because that's focusing on the damn family.
posted by ColdChef at 7:30 PM on January 27, 2010 [17 favorites]


Actually, while we're at it, can we boycott Jesus Christ, too? The intersection of money and God is getting to be a problem.

Oh come on you know the label takes like 95% of Christ's profits anyway.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:30 PM on January 27, 2010 [7 favorites]


I'm going to go get an abortion on Super Bowl Sunday just to spite that fucker. Even if I'm not pregnant by then!
posted by scody at 7:31 PM on January 27, 2010 [12 favorites]


It's how things are. Abortion on US television is a non starter. It's been nearly 40 years since Maude, and ever since, abortion has resulted in BAD THINGS or the mother wisely choses LIFE. Gay sex, on the other hand is always FRAUGHT WITH DANGER and grudgingly recognized. It's one of those bizarre American obsessions which for decades has defied rational explanation.
posted by Neiltupper at 7:31 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Also: this abortion ad should run sandwiched between some beer & titty ads.

They advertise for breasts now?
posted by shakespeherian at 7:32 PM on January 27, 2010


JOCK DOUCHE
Hi, I'm a jock douche, reminding all of you couch-riding wannabe jock douches to not get abortions, because Jesus and shit.

[dissolve to logo]

VOICE OVER
Concussions. They're no laughing matter.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:33 PM on January 27, 2010 [64 favorites]


I'd like to point out that, since his mother was not forced to give birth, she benefited from pro-choice policies. Some people tend to forget that pro-choice /= pro-abortion.
posted by emilyd22222 at 10:22 PM on January 27 [2 favorites +] [!]

FTW.

OTOH
I'd like to point out that I'm not looking to any aspect of the NFL to be socially responsible, at least not until they cough up some dough for their pitiful old disabled retirees, quit fucking lying about head injuries, do something about those plantation-ass player contracts and for fuck's sake quit raping cities of their tax dollars. oh yeah, and give up on that antitrust exemption shit.

Bottom line, most athletes, coaches and athletic associations are among the most socially conservative people/entities on the planet, and to foam about any of them doing something as predictable as this is a waste of your potent outrage molecules.
posted by toodleydoodley at 7:33 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


i wonder how focus on the family explains this in the context remembering the sabbath and keeping it holy.
posted by nadawi at 7:34 PM on January 27, 2010 [14 favorites]


I'm going to go get an abortion on Super Bowl Sunday just to spite that fucker. Even if I'm not pregnant by then!

So ... ahem ... (pulls at collar, Dangerfield-style) ... are you free this weekend? We could watch the Pro Bowl, have some beers and bbq ... maybe play it by ear...
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:34 PM on January 27, 2010 [10 favorites]


For all your Tim Tebow Halloween costume needs.
posted by peep at 7:35 PM on January 27, 2010 [7 favorites]


keeping it holy.

I have it on unimpeachable authority that Harry and Scooter will be calling the Super Bowl from heaven this year
posted by toodleydoodley at 7:36 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


So ... ahem ... (pulls at collar, Dangerfield-style) ... are you free this weekend?

Hey baby...will you have my abortion?
posted by emilyd22222 at 7:36 PM on January 27, 2010


repugnant.
posted by Neekee at 7:37 PM on January 27, 2010


Hi, I'm Tim Tebow, and my mom once drew to an inside straight and made it, so it's totally a great decision to draw to an inside straight—hell, go all in. My mom did and it worked out great. So, if you're thinking about making a risky decision that has real-life irreversible consequences, don't bother thinking about odds or logic or even the subtle implication that it should be mandatory to draw to an inside straight implicit in this ad. Just go with your emotion and Jesus, because if you win it'll be awesome and your kid will win the Heisman, and if you don't, you'll be dead and then it won't matter that there's probably not even a heaven or a God anyway.
posted by klangklangston at 7:38 PM on January 27, 2010 [35 favorites]


For all your Tim Tebow Halloween costume needs.

speaking as a former media type who got a big elbow in my last encounter with Tebow, the picture is accurate, if mainly because he is vertically huuuuuge.
posted by toodleydoodley at 7:39 PM on January 27, 2010


keeping it holy.

I say we do a whip-round to get an ad for the Goatse Foundation into the Super Bowl. You know, for the kids.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:40 PM on January 27, 2010 [6 favorites]


oh - and not that it matters at all - but the anti choice crowd uses this kind of "example" all the time, so it only seems fair to speak up.

i am pro-choice. i am also one of those miracle babies. doctors told my mom that having me would kill us both, then when she was 6 months along they told her that she'd probably live but that i would surely die. i was born on time-ish with no major defects. however - i'm an incredibly sickly person and always have been (born with a uti that wasn't caught for months, asthma, allergies, sinus issues, underweight for many years, and more). due to the pregnancy, my mother had to get an emergency partial hysterectomy (with the full procedure done a few years later when complications didn't cease) and the strain it and the hormones have put on her emotionally and physically have been heartbreaking for me.

i'm glad i'm here now that i am, but my own birth story in no way makes me feel like it's my right to tell other people how to deal with brutal, personal, medical choices. i just wish more people would realize that anecdotes are not proof and never will be.
posted by nadawi at 7:46 PM on January 27, 2010 [49 favorites]


Why, exactly, are people pissed about this. We have free speech. We have an obligaiton to get our competing message out there. Whining about somebody else exercising that right is fucking pointless. It makes it seem like we are afraid of their message. Fuck that.

The government should not tell people when they should or should not be pregnant. That is a decision for the woman who is bearing the child. Hell with the right level of sex education, we could make sure that people never even get to this point. Their plan is tell no one how not to get pregnant and then do nothing about the consequences.
posted by Ironmouth at 7:49 PM on January 27, 2010 [4 favorites]


Somehow I don't think CBS would allow the Tebows to run a "NEVER TRUST A FILIPINO DOCTOR!" commercial.
posted by Frank Grimes at 7:50 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


I could see the outrage if the UCC ad was rejected and the FotF ad was approved in the same year. CBS has said that their policies on advocacy ads have changed - FotF took advantage of this, so why doesn't UCC or some other left-leaning group do the same? This isn't a free speech issue; CBS is a business.
posted by desjardins at 7:52 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


So what exactly is CBS' Super Bowl policy on "advocacy ads?"

IOKIYAR
posted by furiousxgeorge at 7:54 PM on January 27, 2010


Why, exactly, are people pissed about this. We have free speech. We have an obligaiton to get our competing message out there. Whining about somebody else exercising that right is fucking pointless. It makes it seem like we are afraid of their message. Fuck that.

I suggest you read the post again, paying special attention to the third and fourth sentences.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:54 PM on January 27, 2010 [7 favorites]


I'd like to point out that I'm not looking to any aspect of the NFL to be socially responsible, at least not until they cough up some dough for their pitiful old disabled retirees, quit fucking lying about head injuries, do something about those plantation-ass player contracts and for fuck's sake quit raping cities of their tax dollars. oh yeah, and give up on that antitrust exemption shit.

The NFL does not have an antitrust exemption. That's sacred baseball, that never does anything wrong. The case you are discussing involves whether or not a legal doctrine applicable to some situations in antitrust suits applies to them. If so the case must be thrown out.

As for being socially responsible, it is by far the most socially responsible leauge out there. Every team must interview a black coach when a head coaching position opens up.

And the NFL is also doing Play 60. Yes they want kids to get off their asses and play for 60 minutes per day outside instead of playing video games. This is a good thing.

As for "raping" cities of their tax dollars, the people who need to stand up and stop that shit are the people of the cities where they live. Let's be frank, it is weak politicians who are afraid to lose the teams that their constituents love. Break that link and you will stop the "raping." I prefer to leave that term to its original meaning, myself.
posted by Ironmouth at 7:57 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


They did actually quit lying about heading injuries too.
posted by smackfu at 7:59 PM on January 27, 2010


I've been wrong before, but my guess is that Tebow's going to be a bigger NFL disappointment than Tony Mandarich blocking for Todd Marinovich.
posted by box at 7:59 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


I prefer to leave that term to its original meaning, myself.

Well, we'll have an ad on the Super Bowl that accepts rape as a means of God-willed procreation, so no worries on the CBS/NFL front, there.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:00 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Dear CBS,

Your decision to run this advertisement is an insoluble puzzle to me. The person who wrote the advertisements is without doubt the most ignorant person now alive on the planet; also without doubt he is an idiot, an idiot of the 33rd degree, and scion of an ancestral procession of idiots stretching back to the Missing Link. Puzzles fret me, puzzles annoy me, puzzles exasperate me; and always, for a moment, they arouse in me an unkind state of mind toward the person who has puzzled me. A few moments from now my resentment will have faded and passed and I shall probably even be praying for you; but while there is yet time I hasten to wish that you may take a dose of your own poison by mistake, and enter swiftly into the damnation which you and all other patent medicine assassins have so remorselessly earned and do so richly deserve.

Adieu, adieu, adieu!
posted by mwhybark at 8:00 PM on January 27, 2010 [11 favorites]


Why, exactly, are people pissed about this. We have free speech. We have an obligaiton to get our competing message out there. Whining about somebody else exercising that right is fucking pointless. It makes it seem like we are afraid of their message. Fuck that.

I suggest you read the post again, paying special attention to the third and fourth sentences.

For the 2004 Super Bowl broadcast CBS rejected the U.C.C. (aka Congregational Church) advertisement that promoted inclusion for mixed race and gay/lesbian couples, etc. CBS then deemed it an "advocacy ad" not worthy of airtime. So what exactly is CBS' Super Bowl policy on "advocacy ads?"


I see nowhere where the a pro-abortion ad has been banned. We can complain all we want about 2004. But isn't it more important to show the network that if they show an anti-abortion ad, we will show a pro-choice ad? Because that's the only thing that will stop them from showing these kind of ads. Do they really want to be on the record on this issue one way or the other? Seriously, the way to stop things is to raise the cost of doing them. You do that by asking that they run a pro-abortion ad. Puts 'em in a bind doesn't it? So is CBS pro-abortion? All the fundies will threaten boycott if they run it. But they can't not run it because that would make them as anti-abortion, which will piss of the actual majorities that support choice.

Its all in the smart play, people.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:03 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


Why, exactly, are people pissed about this. We have free speech. We have an obligaiton to get our competing message out there. Whining about somebody else exercising that right is fucking pointless. It makes it seem like we are afraid of their message. Fuck that.
Just because it's legal doesn't mean it's a good idea. Since when is telling women to have babies even when doctors say it'll kill 'em a good idea? Also, there's the hypocrisy angle.
posted by delmoi at 8:04 PM on January 27, 2010


I wonder how many less-fortunate-types would benefit from a $2.8 million charitable donation that this supposed 'Christian' group is wasting on pimping their shit via the media?
posted by cmetom at 8:04 PM on January 27, 2010 [7 favorites]


cmetom - oh, focus on the family aren't idiots when it comes to fund raising - that 2.8 million dollar spot is going to earn them bank with their supporters.
posted by nadawi at 8:07 PM on January 27, 2010


I have a similar anecdote to nadawi's, except my mother's life was not in danger AFAIK. I was not expected to live more than a few days after being born, and if I did live I was expected to be mentally retarded. I sometimes wonder what would have happened had ultrasound and amniocentesis been more advanced in those days. If the doctors were certain that I would die anyway - and upon birth, they were so certain that they advised my parents to plan my funeral - would my mother have chosen to abort me? I don't know.

Odd as it may sound, I'd still defend her choice to do so.
posted by desjardins at 8:07 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


They should instead organize a boycott of whatever product immediately follows the Focus on the Family ad (without knowing what it is in advance).

WHAT IF IT'S BEER THEN THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON.
posted by jimmythefish at 8:14 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Tim Tebow makes me grateful for the existence of Alabama.

How fucked is that?
posted by bardic at 8:16 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


My mother had two abortions before my brother and I were brought to term.

Two.

Thank you, mom, for making the choice. Twice. :)

(Hey, I'm willing to go on TV with this statement. Although I'm no Tim Tebow, I've been told that I'm relatively loveable.)
posted by muddgirl at 8:17 PM on January 27, 2010 [5 favorites]


As for being socially responsible, it is by far the most socially responsible leauge out there. Every team must interview a black coach when a head coaching position opens up.

except for the Redskins, who preemptively interview a black coach they know they're not going to hire, so they can then preemptively interview the white coach they are going to hire, and then, finally, fire the coach they were looking to replace in the first place.

and lord knows they're the exception { / }

I'm sorry, did you say hamburger? because the rest of your comment also made me shit myself laughing.

oh yeah, and:
The NFL does not have an antitrust exemption

yet, baby, yet. they're trying.
posted by toodleydoodley at 8:19 PM on January 27, 2010


Sarah Palin Weighs in on Tim Tebow Superbowl Ad

Who dat?
posted by nola at 8:22 PM on January 27, 2010


For someone who is criticizing other people in the thread for wasting their "potent outrage molecules" on this, you sure are doing a lot of mouth-foaming yourself toodleydodley.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 8:26 PM on January 27, 2010


It is by far the most socially responsible leauge out there. Every team must interview a black coach when a head coaching position opens up.
I thought this was clever satire until I read it again and saw that it wasn't. Well, they interviewed one black dude, carte blanche for everybody!
posted by zvs at 8:29 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Look ya'll, if American women don't stop aborting all the Football Jesuses, then this country will keep on going straight to socialist hell and when God comes back, he won't take any of us with him. How hard is this to grasp?

Dear Tebow's Mom: I'm glad you didn't die, truly. I'm glad you love your son, and he's successful. Whoop de do. But I'll be damned if I let the people who paid for your ad use your extremely lucky outcome as some kind of reason to lock me in prison for not wanting to play Uterine Russian Roulette on their orders.
posted by emjaybee at 8:33 PM on January 27, 2010 [10 favorites]


you sure are doing a lot of mouth-foaming yourself toodleydodley.

didn't you read the rest of my comment? that's not mouth-foam - it's santorum!

hamburger, Hamburger!
posted by toodleydoodley at 8:35 PM on January 27, 2010


Every team must interview a black coach

And that coach is named Tony Dungy.
posted by box at 8:35 PM on January 27, 2010 [6 favorites]


Every team must interview a black coach

And that coach is named Tony Dungy.
posted by box at 11:35 PM on January 27 [1 favorite -] Favorite added! [!]

I can't favorite this enough
posted by toodleydoodley at 8:37 PM on January 27, 2010


They don't owe us any explanations, and they are not obligated to be consistent.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 8:40 PM on January 27, 2010


This new Tebow took me by surprise. I remember this Tebow:

Diary of Tim Tebow

10.14.06

7:02 AM: Awoken at Ole Miss Tri-Delt house by phone call from Florida Athletic Director Jeremy Foley. Foley reminds Tebow there's a game this afternoon. Tebow calls Foley a pickle smoker and tells him to send the plane.

7:05: Drops and does 40 naked push ups in front of a mirror.

7:07: Packs a duffel bag with tank top, pair of tight jeans, and no underwear. Announces "Tebow's going commando" to no one in particular.

7:08: Kills it.

7:09: Kills it again.

7:10: Calls Chris Leak, tells him "Tebow's rushing for two hundy today!"
Leak says he can't talk right now, needs to take one final look at the playbook. Tebow calls him a pussy.

7:15: Takes cologne shower. Uses Stetson.

7:21: Drives to the Oxford airport. Uses the shoulder to bypass traffic.

7:38: Leaves car in front of corporate hangar. Flips keys to airport police officer. Gives him a pat on the ass.

7:40: Passes through airport security. Refuses to remove 4" belt buckle for metal detector. Offers to show TSA his security wand.

7:42: Gets three orders of chicken parm at Sbarro.

7:43: Finishes chicken parm. Belches.

7:44: Calls Leak. Tells him his mom left her panties in Tebow's hot tub.
Hangs up.

7:55: Boards UST's G5. Asks stewardess where the fucking cheerleaders are. Orders vodka rocks, a pack of Marlboro Reds, and a meatball sub.

8:10: Plane takes off.

8:11: Tebow dials Urban Meyer on cell phone. Screams "Tebow's throwing for three hundy today!" Meyer shrieks, puts on a visor.

8:12: Stewardess asks Tebow to turn off his cell phone. Tebow asks stewardess to turn off her high beams.

8:19: Pilot turns off Fasten Seatbelts sign.

8:19:05: Tebow enters bathroom. Kills it.

8:24: Reads back issues of Guns & Ammo magazine.

8:53: Calls Leak. Tells Leak he shaved his mom's pubes into the shape of a T.

8:55: Calls Joakim Noah. Tells him he's partying with Tebow tonight, even though he's fucking French. Instructs Noah on the types of chicks he'll want lined-up for the night. Tebow wants an international theme.

9:03: Flight lands in Gainesville. Tebow commandeers cart for transporting disabled, drives through concourse at 25 mph. Stops at Sbarro, picks up 2 orders of chicken parm, stops at Borders, picks up Penthouse Letters.

9:12: Tebow steps into Spurrier's old Town Car. License plate GATOR1.
Florida State Troopers arrive to provide escort to stadium.

9:14: Tebow tells driver "Forget about pre-game drills. Take me to the Tri-Delt house."

9:25: Tebow tells driver to first drop by College GameDay's on-location studio. Tells Herbstreit he's a pickle smoker.

9:37: Stops off at gas station. Buys a case of Bud and 4 Slim Jims. Pays with Chris Leak's AmEx card.

10:01: Tebow arrives at Tri-Delt house. Announces he's ready to begin his "pre-game stretching routine."

10:02: Sorority president arrives with four pledges. Tebow says, "Which one of you is Leak's sister?" Tebow is joking. Tebow laughs.

10:40: Tebow takes a nap.

11:00: Tebow wakes up from a nap and lets fly with a 10-second parm fart. He gets Penthouse Letters from his bag and heads to the bathroom, grabbing a beer on the way. Tebow has no use for courtesy flushes.

11:20: Tebow looks at his 2006 Florida Gators wallet-sized schedule.
Looks like they're playing Auburn today. Wonders where the fuck this small Midwestern college is anyway.

11:30: Kills it.

11:40: Opens the bathroom door and demands high-quality toilet paper.

11:45: Lights a match.

11:46: Fire alarm goes off. Tebow is nonplussed.

11:55: Alarm disabled. Fire Marshal runs upstairs and yells "Who the hell is responsible for this?!?!" Fire Marshal sees it's Tim Tebow and retreats back down the stairs.

11:56: Uses cell phone to call Meyer and confirm he's starting this afternoon. Meyer shrieks.

12:00: Tebow exits Tri-Delt house. Tells driver "It's time."

12:09: Tebow arrives at the stadium. Sees Leak, gives him a wedgie.

12:11: Walks into locker room. Announces, "Three touchdowns for Tebow today!" Urban Meyer gasps, locks office door.

12:15: Changes for the game. Does not wear a cup. You don't need a cup with balls of steel.

A friend emailed this to me sometime in 2006. No idea where it came from. I posted it on Metachat recently too.
posted by mullacc at 8:41 PM on January 27, 2010 [36 favorites]


hamburger, Hamburger!
posted by nola at 8:42 PM on January 27, 2010


My mother had two abortions before my brother and I were brought to term.

Two.

Thank you, mom, for making the choice. Twice. :)


Actually, your mother made the choice four times. Because every pregnancy involved a choice.
posted by hippybear at 8:46 PM on January 27, 2010 [12 favorites]


oh yeah, and:
The NFL does not have an antitrust exemption

yet, baby, yet. they're trying.


No, they are not seeking an anti-trust exemption. Please read the article.

What is going on is that in this one single case regarding making emblems on clothes, they are saying that they are one entity and therefore the anti-trust laws do not apply to them in the situation where they are contracting with outside companies.

They are not saying that other football leauges cannot form. This isn't anti-trust exemption at all.

There is a sport with a legal exemption to anti-trust laws. They can use any monopolistic practice to force out of business any leauge that might challenge them. Congress voted on and gave them that exemption.

This is baseball, America's Pastime. Built on the most complete anti-trust exemption ever.

Please read the article again.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:46 PM on January 27, 2010


I support free speech and and am pro-life. Hooray for CBS. So let's be civil and not make this comments page a forum for ad hominem attacks. That's a exercise in futility. But someone here has to speak for the other side, so that's all I intend to say.
posted by Seekerofsplendor at 8:50 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


But someone here has to speak for the other side, so that's all I intend to say.

Well thanks for speaking out against choice.
posted by nola at 8:59 PM on January 27, 2010 [10 favorites]


But if women are allowed to exercise autonomy over their bodies and reproductive lives, then why do we even have an NFL draft?
posted by "Elbows" O'Donoghue at 9:05 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Hey, cool Seekerofsplendor. I'm glad you're willing to voice your opinions in a potentially hostile form.

I'm pro-life, too. I'm also pro-choice. Believing that abortion should be legal and available to women is fun like that.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 9:18 PM on January 27, 2010 [10 favorites]


During the broadcast of the upcoming Super Bowl XLVIl (February 7th)

ahem. This is Super Bowl XLIV.
posted by stargell at 9:20 PM on January 27, 2010


Since when did we let Superbowl TV advertisements become some sort of social philosopher's stone of relevance. I'm going to protest by murdering 90-95% of the citizenry.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:32 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Between this and a "The Last Airbender" trailer, Superbowl Sunday is apparently determined to put me in a foul mood.
posted by Narrative Priorities at 9:35 PM on January 27, 2010


This is Super Bowl XLIV

In my native Swedish, "liv" means"life". Now I can't stop reading it that way in stories about Tebow. I figure it's a sign of some sort, but I dunno for what.
posted by gemmy at 10:08 PM on January 27, 2010


Can anybody even imagine putting a pro-choice commercial on national television, much less the superbowl?

The mail I get from planned parenthood doesn't even have their name on it-just a blank spot and their address. And the only ads I've seen from them are advertising cheap birth control (and that's only on city buses). They don't even allude to abortion.
posted by dinty_moore at 10:09 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


This reminds me of the old Family Guy bit about Peter teaching home economics to junkies.

PETER: Well first of all, you're all shootin' up - why not share needles? That's a no-brainer. More money in your pocket, more drugs in your veins. My second tip is to have as many kids as you can. That just makes it more likely that one of those kids will grow up to be a big star in Hollywood. Than who's paying the bills, huh? Hollywood Kid!"

Not calling Tebow's mother a junkie, mind. Just that it was extraordinarily lucky that he and his mother survived his birth, and much more so that he became enough of a success to sell this anecdote as a worthwhile piece of data to the same people who see stories about lottery winners and take it as proof that they need to start playing themselves.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:09 PM on January 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


Can anybody even imagine putting a pro-choice commercial on national television, much less the superbowl?

The mail I get from planned parenthood doesn't even have their name on it-just a blank spot and their address. And the only ads I've seen from them are advertising cheap birth control (and that's only on city buses). They don't even allude to abortion.


Why the fuck not? Seriously, there has got to be a group that would do this. The minute they did offer to pay for the spot, they'd force CBS to drop the Tebow ad to avoid having to run it. Win-win.
posted by Ironmouth at 10:15 PM on January 27, 2010


Can anybody even imagine putting a pro-choice commercial on national television, much less the superbowl?

No, because pro-choice people know abortion has nothing to do with football! Anti-choice people think EVERYTHING has to do with abortion. That's a pretty big fucking divide.
posted by crossoverman at 10:20 PM on January 27, 2010 [5 favorites]


I wonder if Tebow ever put "Mat 6:6" on his eyeblack.
posted by dirigibleman at 10:29 PM on January 27, 2010


The funny (strange, not ha-ha) is the fact that an abortion was recommended for Tebow's mother

Has anyone seen the documentation on this? Because until I see any [legit] paperwork, everything a fundie says is nothing but a verbal expression of their delusional fantasies. Also known as a lie.

Perusing the web, one can see that a Catholic country like the Philippines does not, in fact, encourage abortion even in those cases where the life of the mother is in danger and even goes as far as penalizing both the mother and any person who assists in the procedure, even if they be the woman's parents, a physician or midwife.

Doubting that a Filipino doctor would risk incarceration to save some gringa in the Philippines of the 80's, I find this whole miracle birth story to be inconsistent with reality.
posted by jsavimbi at 10:39 PM on January 27, 2010 [20 favorites]


So now that CBS has changed its policy, does that mean it will run the UCC ad?
posted by ottereroticist at 10:50 PM on January 27, 2010


Holy Shit Jsavimbi! That's like a Unixrat / Miko / Sys Rq level observation.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 11:28 PM on January 27, 2010


i emailed them, along with apparently bunches of other people. since i said i wouldn't be watching the super bowl, i guess i'm not f'ing watching the super bowl. despite liking both teams. and i guess i'm not watching any other cbs shows, even though there are a couple i really like. because i'm so f'ing tired of hypocrisy and two-facedness.
posted by batmonkey at 11:46 PM on January 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


See, on one hand, I don't want Tim Tebow telling me what I ought to be doing with my body, but on the other, I'm always all "QUIT THROWING FROM YOUR GOD DAMNED CROTCH GATOR BOY" every time he's on TV, so maybe we're even.

'Nole wife.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 11:54 PM on January 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


To be perfectly honest, for 2.8 mil, we'd happily show Justin Timberlake snorting blow off of Janet Jackson's rack in slo-mo.

What's that, 28 bucks per Metafilter member?
I'm in!
posted by madajb at 12:11 AM on January 28, 2010


No fair, they have also refused to run my ad asking mathowie for a pony.
posted by biffa at 12:17 AM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


Want less abortions? Try more condoms!

Be a man: Own your dick (TM)

Brought to you by The Council of Where You Can Stick It
posted by yeloson at 12:28 AM on January 28, 2010 [8 favorites]


Fuck Tebow and his stupid, uninformed opinion. It is a real shame that having money makes it possible for an ignorant asswipe to influence society.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:06 AM on January 28, 2010


.

Football
posted by Vibrissae at 1:30 AM on January 28, 2010


More trivia: in 2009 NBC Rejected this pro-life ad featuring President Obama.
posted by dabitch at 3:13 AM on January 28, 2010


It's likely to be a good game this year. Watch it if you like football. It baffles me completely when people say they "watch the Super Bowl for the ads." Advertising is a weapon, not an art form.

Also, you'll be able to forget Tebow soon enough. He's a third rounder at best and will probably wind up as someone's 4th or 5th receiver.

/obligatory sports content, someone had to
posted by Ella Fynoe at 5:04 AM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


Lots of people saying Tebow doesn't have what it takes to make it in the NFL. Yinz ignorant. Boy is a first-ballot Hall-of-Fame team chaplain if ever I saw one.
posted by billysumday at 5:06 AM on January 28, 2010


Hartley sets up ... he kicks .. it's ... LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PIGS HAVE FLOWN, HELL HAS FROZEN OVER, AND THE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!
--WWL radio announcing the result of the NFC championship

This ad and CBS asshattery notwithstanding, the Saints are going to the Super Bowl for the first time in 44 years and hundreds of thousands of people who have never watched a football game in their lives will probably watch this game. Even though the game is in Miami people are flying into NOLA for Super Bowl Sunday, because they know we know how to throw a party without it turning into a riot.

Please consider this while levelling your deadly threats to boycott the game at CBS.
posted by localroger at 5:39 AM on January 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


Fuck Tebow and his stupid, uninformed opinion.

Tebow and Focus on the Family can both go fuck themselves for this publicity stunt, which isn't going to do anything to sway anyone's opinion. But I don't see how this makes him "uninformed." This isn't like the evolution debate; there's no "choice" molecule on women that science has identified and others are just ignorant about. It's a moral/philosophical difference on which rational people can come to different conclusions.
posted by PunkSoTawny at 5:43 AM on January 28, 2010


I'm sorry, why do I care what an American football star or a failed politico is paid to say?
posted by clvrmnky at 6:07 AM on January 28, 2010


Hey.....wait a minute....... wait just one GD minute here........ Metafilter is a liberal circle jerk!!! I never knew!!!!
posted by Senator at 6:07 AM on January 28, 2010


I hope The Who are able to get the famous "who the fuck are you" line in before the bleep button person can react, and the FCC throws down a big fine on them that offsets the money CBS got from FotF to place the advocacy ad.
posted by terrapin at 6:18 AM on January 28, 2010


Come on, I refuse to believe that the quarterback for U of Florida isn't sleeping with just tons and tons of co-eds. Tell me this guy hasn't had a 50% stake in a few trips to the Gainsville Planned Parenthood office. I cannot believe that, unless he's a- or homo- sexual, or maybe there's a NCAA vasectomy requirement (there's a USC compliance joke here I won't make). Either that or I've got my college stereotypes all goofed up again.

Tebow has always presented himself and come across as a very devout Christian. In the summer, he'd go to the Philippines on mission and assist in basic medical services (including the much LOL'd circumcisions). While it's easy to be cynical, in Tebow's case, I do think that he's far from your stereotypical college jock superstar. The fact that he's making this commercial only reinforces this belief, as it's certainly not helping his chances of being drafted high in the NFL draft.

My first reaction to CBS accepting this ad (as compared to not accepting that 2004 ad), was money. With the economy the way it is, there's certainly fewer corporations or groups eager to shell out the great wheelbarrow loads of cash for ad time. In 2004, CBS was in a position where it could avoid taking on any type of political message, but in 2010, if it's green, it's in.
posted by Atreides at 6:26 AM on January 28, 2010


I support free speech and and am pro-life.

I think that describes everyone here, unless there's an errant sociopath around.

Oh, did you mean anti-choice?



Never mind then.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:41 AM on January 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


"Advocacy ad" is the dumbest fucking term I've ever heard. Every ad is advocating you to do something, most of the time buying shit.

As far as the controversy, Focus on the Family is getting their money's worth by us talking about it and they're lapping up the controversy, most likely in the form of the ad being repeated now in video and online segments.

A week after this ad runs, Tim Tebow will still be overrated and abortion will still be legal. I'm usually the last to advocate (no joke intended) the "ignore it and it'll go away" method but honestly, the best way to hurt Focus on the Family is this situation is to let them waste three million dollars.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 6:52 AM on January 28, 2010 [3 favorites]



I see nowhere where the a pro-abortion ad has been banned. We can complain all we want about 2004. But isn't it more important to show the network that if they show an anti-abortion ad, we will show a pro-choice ad? Because that's the only thing that will stop them from showing these kind of ads. Do they really want to be on the record on this issue one way or the other? Seriously, the way to stop things is to raise the cost of doing them. You do that by asking that they run a pro-abortion ad. Puts 'em in a bind doesn't it? So is CBS pro-abortion? All the fundies will threaten boycott if they run it. But they can't not run it because that would make them as anti-abortion, which will piss of the actual majorities that support choice.


I'm with Ironmouth. Stop declaring defeat, and start smashing idiots with the hammer of smart!
posted by Mister_A at 7:04 AM on January 28, 2010


I do think it's pretty underhanded by CBS. In 2004 they rejected a liberal ad on the basis that they didn't take "advocacy ads", so liberals shrugged and walked away assuming that the other side couldn't take out superbowl ads either.

Now with no announcement that they'd changed their policy, which would have given liberal groups an opportunity to come up with an ad of their own, CBS suddenly decides that they've got no problem taking "advocacy ads"

I don't think it's particularly a stretch to assume that this is deliberate, nor to assume that when and as a liberal group tries to get an ad they'll magically decide that their policy has changed again, or that they won't find other reasons to reject the ad.

I'd like to see that tested, rather than simply going on assumptions, but I know which way I'll bet it. Heck, I'd donate money to see if we can test it.
posted by sotonohito at 7:59 AM on January 28, 2010 [3 favorites]


Why, exactly, are people pissed about this. We have free speech.

From the U.C.C. hyperlink in the FPP:
"A decision by CBS to allow a Super Bowl advertisement for Focus on the Family, a conservative religious organization, is eliciting concerns from leaders of the United Church of Christ, which sought to buy advertising from the network but had its ads rejected.

'While CBS is reportedly saying that a bad economy now necessitates changes in its policy on so-called advocacy ads, this decision only underscores the arbitrary way the networks approach these decisions and the result is a woeful lack of religious diversity in our nation's media,' says the Rev. J. Bennett Guess, the UCC's director of communications. 'Because of its own economic circumstances, CBS is affording time to one religious organization while having suppressed another. This sounds as if the broadcasters think they own the airwaves when, in theory at least, they do not.'

Speaking to a National Public Radio station in Los Angeles on January 21, Guess said, 'The issue for all of us should be why one religious viewpoint is continually accommodated by the TV networks when there is a common misunderstanding in this country that all religious people hold a monolithic view on certain issues, such as reproductive choice, such as homosexuality, and this is not the case.'

Guess pointed out that the UCC encountered a similar situation in early 2005 when it sought airtime on the ABC network, only to be told that ABC did not accept any religious advertising. The very next month, Guess said, Focus on the Family was allowed primetime advertising on ABC's SuperNanny show. 'That's what concerns us, the issue of access,' Guess said.

In 2004, CBS said it was rejecting the UCC's 'Bouncer' ad as 'too controversial' because it allegedly advocated same-sex marriage. The UCC maintained this was a gross mischaracterization of the ad's intent which, instead, was to demonstrate that all people, including gay and lesbian people, should be welcome in the church. The church quickly filed a complaint with the Federal Communications Commission, a petition that was dismissed by FCC staff in 2007 and never given full consideration by FCC Commissioners."
posted by ericb at 8:13 AM on January 28, 2010 [11 favorites]


It's how things are. Abortion on US television is a non starter. It's been nearly 40 years since Maude, and ever since, abortion has resulted in BAD THINGS or the mother wisely choses LIFE.

What usually happens is the subject is brought up and then the woman makes a decision to have her child. Most recently on Army Wives, Desperate Housewives, The OC, Glee, and other shows.

Everwood, Six Feet Under and SATC are the only three shows I'm aware of that have discussed abortion frankly since Maude. Neither Samantha in SATC nor Kate from Everwood were vilified for their decisions nor berated for making the "wrong" choice. Six Feet Under handled it ambiguously: Claire had an abortion and then had dreams about the child as an infant.

Gay sex, on the other hand is always FRAUGHT WITH DANGER and grudgingly recognized. It's one of those bizarre American obsessions which for decades has defied rational explanation.

There are gay characters who have sex on a wide variety of shows who are not depicted much differently than heterosexuals. While I agree that gay sex has not always been depicted positively, there have been quite a few positive, realistic gay role models on network and cable television over the last two decades. If they're not 100% positive, then they're at least depicted as more than caricatures. The couples in Brothers & Sisters, Will and Grace. The women of The "L" Word. Ellen. And again, Six Feet Under.

I tend to think that Hollywood has moved from "gay sex can be dangerous" to "coming out can be dangerous." Homophobia is depicted as more of a danger than actually being gay. Mad Men's Sal Romano is a good example of this. He's a gay character, but cannot come out to his peers (or his wife,) in 1962.
posted by zarq at 8:13 AM on January 28, 2010


Why the fuck not? Seriously, there has got to be a group that would do this. The minute they did offer to pay for the spot, they'd force CBS to drop the Tebow ad to avoid having to run it. Win-win.

Which group? Seriously; tell me. I’ll give money for that purpose. Even at the height of the Stupak frenzy, I didn’t see a single pro-choice ad on TV. I heard about one on the internet, and that’s it.

Anyway; this broke too late for the left to actually do anything-the most the pro-choice people can do is try to make a pro choice ad for next year, which CBS will reject for being too controversial.

And nobody will care, because a year will have passed.

I’m not trying to be defeatist; I wrote to CBS and plan to boycott. It’s just that pro-choice groups aren’t equipped to advertise on the issue of keeping abortion legal. There are plenty of reasons for this (fear, discomfort among passive supporters on thinking about abortion, ‘keeping something legal’ has never been a sexy cause).
posted by dinty_moore at 8:15 AM on January 28, 2010


It's been said above, but I'll reiterate for emphasis. I'm pro-choice, and the whole point is that it's a choice, not that everyone should get abortions. So I don't have any problem with the billboards with cute (and, bizarrely, not-cute) kids on them asking women to not abort kids; I don't have a problem with television ads asking for the same thing, and I don't even have a problem with abortion protesters at clinics, as long as they don't block ingress/egress, stand back, and don't act violent.

The solution to bad speech is more speech.* Tebow is contributing to the bending of the narrative in that he's advocating for choice. GO FOR IT, DUDE.

*I'm not even going to get back into the money=speech and therefore the solution to money is more money, preferably given to corporate media. Thanks, SCOTUS!
posted by norm at 8:16 AM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


"Its all in the smart play, people."

Great idea. Can I borrow $2.8 million?
posted by klangklangston at 8:21 AM on January 28, 2010


Flagged for gratuitous Palin reference.
posted by Reverend John at 8:29 AM on January 28, 2010


Well good, CBS has changed its views on advocacy ads. So we can be assured that in the future no "responsibly produced" pro-life or pro-gay marriage ads will be denied, right?

The way they handle this going forward is going to be interesting.
posted by quin at 8:44 AM on January 28, 2010


skimming here because, hey! 100+ comments & i'm at work. everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and the issue of abortion has always been about choice. apparently mr. football star's choice is to hang with women who would choose to have a child rather than abort. ok, cool. although i won't be the least bit surprised if in a few years it turns out that one of his exes had an abortion. big deal.

however ... what pisses me off about this is that focus on the family is a 501c3, undoubtedly receiving federal funding & is most likely tax exempt. two strikes from me. plus the fact that it's full of antiquated 'ideals' and led by a bloviating nimrod. STRIKE THREE.

and cbs can go pound salt. it's a business & they've set a precedent. now they'll have to deal with the consequences.
posted by msconduct at 8:52 AM on January 28, 2010


Probably the closest Tebow will ever get to the Superbowl...BAM!
posted by jckll at 8:59 AM on January 28, 2010


WRT Tebow's likely landing spot - smart money says the Patriots. Not as a Brady understudy, they've already got one of those who looks pretty good, but as a receiver, like Edelman. Moss is getting old, and Welker's invulnerability has been downgraded from "nigh" to "nearly." The Pats will use their 2nd pick, or even wait until the 2nd round.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:00 AM on January 28, 2010


focus on the family is a 501c3, undoubtedly receiving federal funding & is most likely tax exempt.

Not that I don't agree with you about the evils of FotF, but technically all the more overt political stuff is done through Focus on the Family Action, an (obviously) affiliated 501(c)(4) that is legally and financially separate from the 501(c)(3) Churchy-McChurch thing that does Adventures in Odyssey and suchlike.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:06 AM on January 28, 2010


CBS Considering Gay Dating Ad Featuring Kiss for Super Bowl
CBS is reportedly considering running an ad from gay dating site Mancrunch, FOX News reports:
"The 30-second spot shows two men excitedly watching the game, before their hands brush as they both reach into a bowl of chips. Suddenly, the two begin making out, much to the shock of a guy sitting close by. According to a rep for the dating site, which operates under the slogan 'Where Many Many Many Men Come Out to Play,' the ad was submitted on Monday, January 18th. When the site followed up on the status of the ad on Friday, January 22nd, they were told by CBS that 'the spot hadn’t been officially approved yet' by network standards, and that 'all the Super Bowl spots were sold out.' ...

“ManCrunch requested the spot get reviewed anyway just in case another advertiser drops out and a spot becomes available, as often happens, and CBS agreed,” added the site’s rep. ManCrunch officials said they believe CBS has no intention of airing a commercial for their gay dating service, 'but do not want to officially ‘reject’ the spot out of fear there may be a backlash from gay advocacy groups.' However, a representative from the network told Pop Tarts that advertising spots were still open, and was unsure where that comment originated. 'The ad is still under review, the process takes a little while,' a rep from CBS said. 'We still have a lot of ads we have yet to review.'
It's important to note that the ad from Mancrunch is not an "advocacy" ad by any means, and accepting it would not indicate that they have made good on their word that ads from groups like the UCC would now be accepted.

Now, if CBS rejected it based on the fact that it contains a gay kiss, that would be an entirely different story, given the fact that a few years years ago they accepted a homophobic ad for Snickers which mocked a gay kiss.
posted by ericb at 9:11 AM on January 28, 2010 [5 favorites]


WRT Tebow's likely landing spot - smart money says the Patriots. Not as a Brady understudy, they've already got one of those who looks pretty good, but as a receiver, like Edelman. Moss is getting old, and Welker's invulnerability has been downgraded from "nigh" to "nearly." The Pats will use their 2nd pick, or even wait until the 2nd round.

Flagged as Sports Metafilter Talk AM
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:17 AM on January 28, 2010


I think everyone is missing the point here. CBS is doing this on purpose. Statistics are showing that with increased use of PVR's and time-shifting, the percentage of viewers actually watching television ads is decreasing (source).

This means lost revenue.

So, take the one event that is known for the advertising (and enormous revenue for the stations from those ads), add controversy in an attempt to spur another spot (since there is still ad time left) and you've doubled ad revenue.

They changed their policy because they need the cash.
posted by purephase at 9:36 AM on January 28, 2010


So CBS whaddya' say? You had no problem airing a gay kiss on your daytime soap opera 'As The World Turns.' And you had no problem showing the gay teen couple "making love."
posted by ericb at 9:37 AM on January 28, 2010


CBS also had no problem with airing The Amazing Race season 4, in which gay couple (and eventual winners) Chip and Reichen were identified on-screen as "married," even though it was in 2003 and gay marriage was not legally recognized anywhere in the US at that time.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:16 AM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


Programming standards and advertising standards are different, though. I don't know that I've ever seen a 30 second spot in the US that included the words 'bitch,' 'bastard,' or 'god damn,' and I've seen far more explicit violence in teevee shows than in teevee advertisements.

(I'm not arguing that homosexual kissing is something that should be considered 'mature' or 'objectionable' or anything, just that ads tends to be much more conservative in content than shows.)
posted by shakespeherian at 10:22 AM on January 28, 2010


It's been said above, but I'll reiterate for emphasis. I'm pro-choice, and the whole point is that it's a choice, not that everyone should get abortions. So I don't have any problem with the billboards with cute (and, bizarrely, not-cute) kids on them asking women to not abort kids; I don't have a problem with television ads asking for the same thing, and I don't even have a problem with abortion protesters at clinics, as long as they don't block ingress/egress, stand back, and don't act violent.

Well, okay, I would feel a lot better about it if the message was "Abortion should be legal, obviously. But please don't get one."

Once groups like these stop trying to take my rights away I'll be cool with them saying whatever they want. Free speech is awesome, but giving people equal rights shouldn't be subject to that "well most people don't want to! we convinced 'em!" law making process.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 11:27 AM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


yeah, i'm considering all that when saying i'm not watching CBS. "oh, we can't run an ad for UCC" turns to "of course we'll run an ad for pro-life hysteria" (pun intended) - i'm just sick of the back and forth. the only way my own conscience is left out of that stupid loop is if my conscience doesn't have to do a backflip in order to watch their programming.

if you are capable of saying one thing and doing another, more power to you, i guess. i'm just tired of it in general and it doesn't hurt me to NOT watch TV. to the contrary. folks who think this game is SO big (hey, i've loved the Saints ever since ol' Bum got 'em moving) that they can set their beliefs to the side because they HAVE to watch it, well, that's up to y'all. i can't do it. i certainly don't think my not tuning in is going to cause some big kerfuffle at CBS. "my god! batmonkey isn't going to watch after her years of loyalty! wtf are we going to do?!?" is totally not going to happen. this is for my own brain's peace.

if they did the one right thing (equal time), i'd tune in. they're not going to do that, though. they want FOX's audience and have for years. they can have 'em.

cognitive miserdom: tired of it.
posted by batmonkey at 11:33 AM on January 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


for all the "i <3>love, love, love if the anti-choice crowd could start attacking from a pro-choice standpoint. stop picketing the clinics, stop killing the doctors, stop vilifying the actual humans who are making a very tough choice - start saying "i'm pro-choice, and my choice is no, and here is why". it doesn't have the same hellfire and brimstone flair, but it does have a chance of actually working (of course, only if the definition of working is "to reduce abortions" not "fill our coffers with easy money from pandering to our side" which i'm not sure it is).
posted by nadawi at 11:44 AM on January 28, 2010


ManCrunch SuperBowl Ad.
posted by ericb at 12:04 PM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


um html/me totally screwed up my comment up there -

for all the "i love the superbowl but don't want to support cbs" - torrent it or watch it on justin.tv. cbs doesn't get you as a viewer and you get to watch the game - if you torrent it, you can even skip the commercials and watch the ones you want to later on youtube.
posted by nadawi at 12:17 PM on January 28, 2010


Today I got this message on an email list I am subscribed to:

Dear CrossCards Friends,

Once again our values are under intense attack from radical liberal feminists. Only this time they are venturing where they never should have gone.

Football. And not just any football game. The Super Bowl.

This week, the liberal feminist organization, National Organization for Women (NOW), launched an all-out effort attacking a pro-life ad that will be in the Super Bowl commercial line-up. The ad, produced by our good friends at Focus on the Family, tells the story of Pam Tebow’s decision to continue with her pregnancy against her doctor’s advice and give birth to the Heisman trophy winning Florida Gator Quarterback, Tim Tebow.

NOW’s call to take this advertisement off the air is their attempt at shutting down the Christian witness of Tim Tebow and his mother. Standing by their convictions, the Tebows made this ad to share their experience of accepting God’s plan for their lives and experiencing the ultimate gift of Life.

Shouldn't the “pro-choice” position respect Pam Tebow’s decision to choose Life and then tell others about that choice? What is the worst case scenario in allowing this ad to air? Women are exposed to an example of sacrifice for the sake of an unborn child.

The fact of the matter here is that they are attacking more than just Tim Tebow and his mother for having the courage of their convictions to share the positive message of Life—they are attacking you and me, and the values we stand for.

We can’t allow this to go unanswered. When someone this prominent is willing to put himself out there with a positive message about Life, we need to support him.

Click here and go to our page, where you can send your name and a message of encouragement to Tim Tebow and his family.

Let’s show Tim Tebow that the pro-life movement is standing behind him and thank him for sharing his mom’s beautiful testimony on choosing Life.

God bless,

Marjorie Dannenfelser
President Susan B. Anthony List
www.sba-list.org

posted by serazin at 12:42 PM on January 28, 2010


Let’s show Tim Tebow that the pro-life movement is standing behind him and thank him for sharing his mom’s beautiful testimony on choosing Life probable death.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:47 PM on January 28, 2010


Ceiling Tebow.
posted by billysumday at 12:56 PM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm pro-choice, and I'm sort of glad that Planned Parenthood isn't shelling out $2.8 million for a counter-ad during the Super Bowl. That's $2.8 million that could have gone to pay for health care (including abortions) to women in need. Why FotF would rather pay for commercials than try to help, say, poor pregnant women who might not be able to afford another kid, is on their heads.
posted by amber_dale at 1:10 PM on January 28, 2010 [8 favorites]


ManCrunch SuperBowl Ad .

It's not kissing, it's Greco-Roman hugging.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:13 PM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


A "Susan B. Anthony list" complaining about feminists? That requires about the same level of cognitive gymnastics as the Canadians who staged tax protests in the form of tea parties.
posted by one more dead town's last parade at 1:25 PM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


*furiously works on technology to bring Susan B. Anthony back from the dead to kick some anti-feminists-pretending-to-care-about-women ass*
posted by scody at 1:33 PM on January 28, 2010 [4 favorites]


many anti-choice "feminists" claim that Susan B Anthony was viciously anti-abortion. a claim that is thought to be dubious at best - but some of her quotes to lend themselves to that reading.
posted by nadawi at 1:44 PM on January 28, 2010



ManCrunch SuperBowl Ad.


There's no way that ad is accurate.

A Packer fan would never fall for a Viking fan.
posted by drezdn at 2:19 PM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


A Packer fan would never fall for a Viking fan.

Life is full of surprises. After all, James Carville is married to Mary Matalin.
posted by ericb at 2:27 PM on January 28, 2010


Cajun style.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:28 PM on January 28, 2010


AND THE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!
Thanks to the Vikings handing them the fucking game on a silver platter! Six fumbles, two interceptions. I've said it before and I'll say it again: no more buttered popcorn on the sidelines. Go Colts!

posted by kirkaracha at 4:47 PM on January 28, 2010


drezdn, I married a Bears fan, so strange things are possible.

But god is that a horrible ad - if you are going to do something groundbreaking, spend more than $100 filming it. I mean, I am all rah rah gay rights woo let's watch guys make out and I didn't even want to finish watching that awfulness.
posted by desjardins at 7:19 PM on January 28, 2010


Watch: The 'Gay' Super Bowl Ad CBS Has Already Rejected.
posted by ericb at 9:06 AM on January 29, 2010


Mancrunch.com officials say they have just received a formal rejection of the ad from CBS.

CBS said in its rejection that the creative "is not within the network's broadcast standards for Super Bowl Sunday." The rejection also said the sales department "has had difficulty verifying your organization's credit status." Mancrunch.com said they offered to pay a cash advance.

"We are very disappointed that in 2010 such discrimination is happening especially given the fact that Focus on the Family is allowed to promote their way of life during the Super Bowl," said Mancrunch.com spokesperson Dominic Friesen. "We're calling on every same sex advocacy group to petition CBS and let them know this discriminatory behavior will not be tolerated."*
posted by ericb at 1:05 PM on January 29, 2010 [1 favorite]


What usually happens is the subject is brought up and then the woman makes a decision to have her child. Most recently on Army Wives, Desperate Housewives, The OC, Glee, and other shows.

I know I out myself as having watched The O.C. by saying this, but while the teenage character did end up having her baby, she was counseled by the mom who revealed that she had an abortion as a teenager. It was all presented without judgment and a sense of, "the choice is yours." I was heartened at their fair treatment of the subject.
posted by agregoli at 9:22 AM on January 30, 2010


In Glee, the pregnant teen was head of the school's abstinence club. The show revealed plans for her to attend a Chastity Ball with her father. A pro-life position by this teen was by no means some form of advocacy, but true to the character who still debated having an abortion. She represents both a representation of the effect of abstinence instruction, and also the ramifications of a teen pregnancy (costs of taking care of a child, being kicked out of her home by her parents, etc).
posted by Atreides at 6:38 AM on January 31, 2010


A fabulous response video featuring Sean James and Al Joyner.
posted by peep at 9:39 AM on February 3, 2010


Since the discussion has devolved into a discussion of teen drama series, the classics:
-Degrassi Junior High, "It's Late" (1987; Spike gets pregnant)
-Degrassi High, "New Start" (1989; Erica gets an abortion)
-Degrassi High, "Everybody Wants Something" (1989; Erica gets harassed by Spike's best friend)
posted by Sys Rq at 10:21 AM on February 3, 2010


About sums it up.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:37 PM on February 3, 2010


If we're still talking about Tebow...

Pre-game Focus on the Family ad


Take two

posted by pecknpah at 4:59 PM on February 7, 2010


Ha, I would have had no idea what that ad about if it didn't get all the outraged press.
posted by smackfu at 7:49 PM on February 7, 2010


Yeah, its too bad they got as much buzz as they did.

It wasn't as openly anti-choice and hateful as some had feared (or hoped?).

Doesn't CBS have some sort of corporate responsibility to not run ads for organizations that openly call for the incarceration of a major demographic for one of VIACOM's other networks (LOGO)? As a stcokholder I'd be pissed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-J2PTOyP3g

Focus On The Family and the Family Research Council are full of hate and fear disguised as religion and love.
posted by brando_calrissian at 12:06 AM on February 8, 2010


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