Haikea, Poetry for the Furniture of Melancholy

February 13, 2010 5:31 PM

Haiku + IKEA
posted by punkbitch (46 comments total)

Feel bad for the lamp?
Bah, the new one is better.
Besides, lamps don't feel.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:38 PM on February 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

Love it.
posted by kenko at 5:43 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Ektorp, I love you.
You are stiff, uninviting--
But couch, you are mine.
posted by sallybrown at 5:54 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

IKEA Hong Kong
Filled with folks buying nothing
Getting in the way
posted by bwg at 6:04 PM on February 13, 2010

Little brown meatballs
Oh! The lingonberry jam!
Please bus your own tray.
posted by briank at 6:08 PM on February 13, 2010 [5 favorites]

Cheap steel futon frame
Leans black and bent by the curb
Epitaph of snow
posted by clarknova at 6:18 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

An allen key dream
Held together by dowels
Assembly required
posted by phirleh at 6:24 PM on February 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

This place is too big
You know that won't fit in the car
Just take your brother's stuff
posted by Throw away your common sense and get an afro! at 6:28 PM on February 13, 2010

We never argue.
Perfect harmony until
the warehouse section.
posted by cromagnon at 6:30 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Why just one per page?
It's a pain to navigate!
Oh, I get it now.
posted by cashman at 6:39 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Internet is old
Haiku popular, then not
popular again.
posted by DU at 6:40 PM on February 13, 2010

Internet is old
Here: Nietzsche Family Circus
No haiku, still good.
posted by filthy light thief at 6:44 PM on February 13, 2010

Ambiguity
Thy name is punctuation
Also line breaks. Duh.
posted by DU at 6:44 PM on February 13, 2010

I read instructions,
Turned all screws; chair still wobbles
Many bits left over.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 6:45 PM on February 13, 2010 [4 favorites]

HaIkea Karate
Chop cultural cliches up
Mix for quick book deal
posted by filthy light thief at 6:50 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

unfortunately
some of this is not haiku
ikea suckage
posted by sfts2 at 6:56 PM on February 13, 2010

There is no nature
In Ikea, which means that
None are real haiku.
posted by kenko at 7:06 PM on February 13, 2010 [3 favorites]

resigned swedish man:
plywood, faded birch veneer
never enough screws
posted by kestrel251 at 7:10 PM on February 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

You pity the lamp
Sitting in snowy neglect
Because you're crazy
posted by kenko at 7:33 PM on February 13, 2010

Shit, I misremembered the commercial. Rainy neglect.
posted by kenko at 7:34 PM on February 13, 2010

Let's see if we can create a more proper Haiku:

IKEA is cold
devoid of warmth and feeling
yet passions run hot
posted by bwg at 7:37 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yes: I can afford
all the TROFAT toy storage
because kids eat free
posted by youarenothere at 7:49 PM on February 13, 2010

This chair is wobbly
and Verdana leaves me cold
but the meatballs rule
posted by youarenothere at 7:53 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Let's see if we can create a more proper Haiku

"Each Haiku must contain a kigo, a season word, which indicate in which season the Haiku is set. For example, cherry blossoms indicate spring, snow indicate winter, and mosquitoes indicate summer, but the season word isn't always that obvious."

Stark simplicity
Staged in a maze of fake rooms
Drift through like dead leaves
posted by filthy light thief at 7:54 PM on February 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

Content? Not much here.
But who am I to say, nay.
Going to bed now.
posted by Splunge at 7:58 PM on February 13, 2010

I have misunderstood
the instructions for haiku.
I must call the store.
posted by cromagnon at 8:20 PM on February 13, 2010 [13 favorites]

In fall, college kids
need cheap shit for their cheap digs.
They crowd the checkout.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 9:34 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

My girlfriend loves her chair
Lillberg, whose cool slipcover
Replaced my warm embrace.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 9:38 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Previously on
Metafilter: kids tape show
in store, get kicked out.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 9:40 PM on February 13, 2010

Birch will not see spring;
Felled, ground, glue-mixed, pressed, veneered:
Plastic printed "birch"
posted by maxwelton at 10:01 PM on February 13, 2010

All the products have silly names
Except one computer desk
Aptly named Jerker
posted by pianomover at 10:03 PM on February 13, 2010

Bored, ladies or gents?
Dalselv's made of real wood (wink)
Holds up to snow day.
posted by Weighted Companion Cube at 10:13 PM on February 13, 2010

Punkbitch is a name
To conjure by, and make you,
Weep and ask for more.
posted by Splunge at 11:24 PM on February 13, 2010

Old wind-weathered chair
made with love and crooked wood
cracks a silent smile.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:06 AM on February 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Capitalism rocks
Swedish winter designs show us all
Globalisms wonder
posted by sien at 12:57 AM on February 14, 2010

the names inspired all
Stockholm tunnelbana stops
at Alvik, build now
posted by infini at 1:23 AM on February 14, 2010

The ever increasing hopelessness
Always taunting, always waiting
Where is my hammer?
posted by Z1LCH at 2:54 AM on February 14, 2010

Shopping Ikea
Sun highlights the logo but
Futura no more
posted by Lanark at 5:27 AM on February 14, 2010

I crashed the Miata
and now have a bigger car
IKEA possible.
posted by acrasis at 6:08 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Dreary aesthetic
Of our common furniture
Hush— the sky's weeping
posted by ersatz at 6:58 AM on February 14, 2010

Lingonberries make
a surprisingly good mix
with Diet Pepsi
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 7:17 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

birches brave the snow
standing strong, stoic, swedish
like these golf pencils
posted by Spatch at 8:21 AM on February 14, 2010

KARLSTAD swivel chair
Four hundred forty-nine bucks
Ullevi orange
posted by Sys Rq at 9:59 AM on February 14, 2010

Start at the top floor
Visit tiny apartments
Lower floor: fill cart.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 10:51 AM on February 14, 2010

Now is the winter
of our discontent with cheap
swedish chipboard crap
posted by Hardcore Poser at 12:58 PM on February 14, 2010

Stole a computer
From an Ikea display
Turns out those are fake
posted by Sys Rq at 8:29 AM on February 15, 2010