Tags:


FINALL PLACEMENTTT!!
February 22, 2010 8:05 PM   Subscribe

File this under terrible, but in just the right way: Say hello to teen Christian rockers Final Placement! They want to share their joy with the world, actual tunes be damned. (via A.V. Club)

Be sure to check out the awesome endless guitar solo.
posted by The Devil Tesla (65 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

 
They're like the run out of gancha guys sans any likeability.
posted by griphus at 8:07 PM on February 22, 2010


Ok, you laugh now, but in thirty years these guys will have become the next Shaggs.
posted by kenko at 8:07 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


Are they terrible because they are Christians or because they are teenagers?

Conundrum.
posted by Avenger at 8:14 PM on February 22, 2010 [3 favorites]


Are they terrible because they are Christians or because they are teenagers?

As a former Christian teenager, I'm pretty sure it's both.
posted by The Devil Tesla at 8:15 PM on February 22, 2010 [13 favorites]


Wow, those tuneless "sensitive" grunge vocals take me back to my first band.

Until the vocals came in I thought this was like a St. Sanders overdub of bad teen christian rock.
posted by anazgnos at 8:16 PM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]


I don't get it. So the kids I used to beat up after school get to post videos now? Man, what's the world coming to? Don't make me go kick their asses again. I'm getting too old for this shit!
posted by cjorgensen at 8:17 PM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]


There is nothing that bad without being bad on purpose. This is clearly someones joke. At least I hope so.
posted by cccorlew at 8:17 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


My favorite part was when he sang the lyric 'Like A Train Going Off The Tracks' and he's standing next to some train tracks with a train going by .... which doesn't go off the tracks ....
posted by mannequito at 8:18 PM on February 22, 2010 [4 favorites]


Wow, that was a Shaggs comment in record time.

I just got Philosophy of the World yesterday and listened to it twice.
posted by Rory Marinich at 8:19 PM on February 22, 2010


Again I quote: "You're not making Christianity better, you're making rock-n-roll worse!"
posted by Ratio at 8:22 PM on February 22, 2010 [9 favorites]


This lacks the naivety, and the just plain bizarritude, of the Shaggs. Take this stuff, tighten the rhythm section, voice lessons for the singer, and you get standard lukewarm modern rock. Take the Shaggs, tighten up the rythm section, voice lessons for the singer, and you get a no-wave band, still doing some pretty fucking weird stuff.
posted by idiopath at 8:29 PM on February 22, 2010 [3 favorites]


I hope they ban you for this.

hamburger
posted by nola at 8:29 PM on February 22, 2010


Sure, it sucks, but if this same exact song was performed by "Animal Collective" or "Dirty Projectors" then it would be considered awesome and groundbreaking.
posted by Ratio at 8:30 PM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]


Ratio, I'm latching on that comment. I spent a year not getting Animal Collective, and then finally it clicked, I understood why other people loved them, and I'm awed by what they were doing and how I didn't get it right away.

But I saw Dirty Projectors live and walked out. It was horrible. Somebody explain to me why everybody loves them so I can love them too?
posted by Rory Marinich at 8:33 PM on February 22, 2010


Don't worry, Rory. I like a lot of things other people find avant garde sonically intolerable, but even I can't enjoy the Dirty Projectors.
posted by griphus at 8:36 PM on February 22, 2010


Somebody explain to me why everybody loves them so I can love them too?

They love them cause they're hollowed out melons acting like people.
posted by nola at 8:36 PM on February 22, 2010 [10 favorites]


The Dirty Projectors are fucking fantastic, though they've made a lot of concessions to the mainstream on their last two albums.

Also I'm in love with all of the female members.
posted by kenko at 8:41 PM on February 22, 2010


Animal Collective make baby music for babies, and it has always been thus.
posted by anazgnos at 8:43 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


How DARE you compare these guys to the Shaggs. These kids are not good musicians, and almost anyone can be a not-good-musician. The Shaggs were people making music who were seemingly unaware of "music" in all its forms. Those girls were a joyful denial of all human culture, so beyond punk there's really no name for them.
posted by biddeford at 8:43 PM on February 22, 2010 [5 favorites]


Oh, man. As a former projectionist, even the name Dirty Projectors makes me cringe.

But I think Final Placement is even worse.
posted by mmmbacon at 8:45 PM on February 22, 2010


As long as we're shedding tastes here, can I mention that I really dislike Casiotone for the Painfully Alone and would really, really like it if last.fm would fucking cease recommending them to me in the name of every new band I've enjoyed within the last three years?
posted by griphus at 8:46 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


But I saw Dirty Projectors live and walked out. It was horrible. Somebody explain to me why everybody loves them so I can love them too?

I felt the same way when first exposed to the Fiery Furnaces. Their two-person live set is just 8 minute long earaches of belching guitar, pointlessly toodling keys, and noise fuzz with bad drumming. But their albums are rich and delightful listens, and changed my opinion of the group. I've never seen Dirty Projectors live, but I liked their studio work alright. The one song I really like, the single off that last album where they ran with wolves and the pretty girl sings, gives all the guilty pleasure of listening to top-40 r&b while satisfying my smug indie experimental tightpants requirements. [NOT PANTSIST]
posted by carsonb at 8:47 PM on February 22, 2010


Oh, on topic, lolxians 'soloing'.
posted by carsonb at 8:48 PM on February 22, 2010


However! The money I paid to see Dirty Projectors was completely worth it, because the opening band, Givers, is fucking awesome. I went to the concert with a guy who grew up in the same home town as them. He kept saying they were good, we kept laughing at him because home town bands suck, then they came on and blew us the fuck away. I might not have walked out if I hadn't felt I'd gotten my money's worth.

Now, also, because it is late at night and I don't think this has been posted before, I would like to give AnCo haters my Guide To Getting Merriweather Post Pavilion And Not Losing Your Friends Who Are Inexplicably Fans.

We're going to use the song Brothersport, because that's what converted me. A quick background story: The people that animated this video live on my block with one of my good friends, and back in December, before the video premiered, they played it on a projector amidst a party full of beer and weed. Animal Collective has a reputation for being a stoner band. I don't think it's because you need to be high to get it. Rather, if you go in expecting a rock band, being high helps, because then you're open to the suggestion that this is not indie rock, despite stupid people who don't know what rock music is. You don't need drugs, though. My soothing, sonorous voice will guide you along.

I think I was off-put by the way people described MPP. They called it a "poppy" album, compared songwriter Noah Lennox to Brian Wilson. So I went in expecting killer pop tunes, and... what is this? Noisy, overheavy, threadbare melodies? This is the sort of thing asshole hipsters listen to!

Those descriptors are misleading. If you listen for pop music, you'll hear bad pop. But Merriweather Post Pavilion is electronica. Its songs are closer to raver music than to Beach Boys. And once you realize that, suddenly everything clicks into place. You're not supposed to focus on the melodies as much as you focus on the beats. And the beats are incredible. They layer different pieces of melody on top of one another, so that if you're bobbing to it and letting yourself get lost in the music, you're being taken in three or four places at once.

Then you start to appreciate the music more. Because suddenly, the melodies are incredible, because for music with such a pulse to it the fact that it's got such a melodic pull is just incredible. So the comparisons to Wilson are apt, but only if you look at it first and foremost as a beat-driven music that would be good even if the melodies weren't bright and unbelievable.

Brothersport's an easy introduction song, especially if you're high, because of that bridge a minute or two in that just goes on for much too long for a pop song. Before then it sounds like a pop song, right? But then it dissolves in that one pulsation, and if you're listening for pop you get bored and go away, and if you're listening to jam then the layers of music just get you going — especially if, high, you're asking yourself if you've really heard that part repeat for two minutes or if you're just really out of it. Then it resolves in that vocal harmony, which isn't brilliant pop, but is a stunning and uplifting rave.

Once you get that, then you can really start to dig them. Their older music's much different from that, of course, but Merriweather Post Pavilion's a masterpiece. It's just not a pop masterpiece, or a rock masterpiece. Hell, it's closer to shoegaze than either of those.
posted by Rory Marinich at 8:53 PM on February 22, 2010 [11 favorites]


I spent a year not getting Animal Collective, and then finally it clicked

Oh, I see what they're doing, it's just not anything that I feel like listening to. I like that they are not doing the same thing, that's good. I just feel like they've gone off the other deep end from radio pop. It's no fun to just sit and experience their music because quite frankly it seems like there's there's not much actual music to get. I'm not disputing that they're talented, or even that they're artists. I just personally find their music obnoxious and can't figure out why someone would deliberately listen to it when there are other options available.

Also, Grizzly Bear is boring.

Of course, I would much prefer to listen to either of those bands than our tone deaf FPP friends.
posted by scrutiny at 8:56 PM on February 22, 2010


kenko: Explain what you hear in them. What bands do they remind you of? How do you approach them and not hear dissonant pretention?

To be honest, I got the same impression from seeing them live that I get from you. One asshole thinks he can write music, and he sells it not through talent but through three moderately talented, moderately attractive girls who attract creeps unused to girls. I also find it incredibly irritating when people open their discussion of a band by mentioning how hot the band members are. People do it for Joanna Newsom all the time and occasionally I box their ears for saying it.
posted by Rory Marinich at 8:56 PM on February 22, 2010 [3 favorites]


ok Rory, that was fucking convincing. I'll give it another shot.
posted by scrutiny at 8:57 PM on February 22, 2010


I don't know who the uploader "sharity world" is or what he's got to do with the group Final Placement, but the usericon is a picture of a devil holding an upside down cross. Either this is a fake or this is not being shared by the band.
posted by Kattullus at 9:05 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


Not again!!! WHY WHY WHY!!!
posted by Lutoslawski at 9:12 PM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]


Crucifictorious are way better
posted by Flashman at 9:27 PM on February 22, 2010


well, one measure of final placement's awfulness is that you're all talking about other bands instead of them

i thought the song, especially the chorus, actually had something - except of course a band that could sing it and perform it

that guitar solo has bad night at the fillmore in 1966 all over it

looped, it just might make some kind of leftfield hiphop track
posted by pyramid termite at 9:30 PM on February 22, 2010


I want to second the comment about the shot of the train accompanying the "train going off the tracks" lyric, I just love how some guy walks into the frame for a second. LOVE IT

As someone who got into Animal Collective through Sung Tongs and Panda Bear's Person Pitch, I have no advice on how to "get it". I like ambient music. Try the weed thing.

Also, I got Dirty Projectors' Getty Address after reading it was a glitch opera about Don Henley and I was totally disappointed and do not understand their appeal. I do enjoy Stillness is the Move, and I think they have a cool name, but it all goes over my head.
posted by palidor at 9:33 PM on February 22, 2010


R.E.M. Murmur, I.R.S. Records, 1983.

I'm buying the Final Placement album.
posted by humannaire at 9:37 PM on February 22, 2010


Oh, here's the antidote: the Crucifucks
posted by Flashman at 9:37 PM on February 22, 2010


and animal collective's in the flowers channels syd barrett rather brilliantly, i think

dirty projector's stillness is the move sounds like a so so attempt to mix r&b with middle eastern pop - interesting, but it's not up to its influences
posted by pyramid termite at 9:49 PM on February 22, 2010


BONUS ROUND The guitarist is taking questions over at dangerousminds.
posted by humannaire at 9:54 PM on February 22, 2010


Which guitarist?
posted by inconsequentialist at 9:56 PM on February 22, 2010


BONUS ROUND Final Destination Facebook page!
posted by humannaire at 10:22 PM on February 22, 2010


Which guitarist?

The one who played the solo. PS added shame: He is publically apologizing. Worth noting: He is in high school. Plus: This is him playing lead covering Van Halen.
posted by humannaire at 10:26 PM on February 22, 2010


BONUS ROUND yes they just keep on coming the machine must be messed up LYRICS!

Shine

there are times when we all fall down
can't seem to get it off the ground
you put your hope on what you do
but still feel you never get through

you know it's hard
most of the time
but one fine day
you will find

this is your life
this is your time
it'll be alright
you're gonna shine
a second chance
a brand new day
don't give up
you'll find a way

so take a deep breath
and close your eyes
this is your life
you're gonna shine
cause this is your life

you think the world has got you and
you can't seem to like happy end and
it's a one step forward two steps back
the train is running off the tracks

you know it's hard
most of the time
but one fine day
you will find

this is your life
this is your time
it'll be alright
you're gonna shine
a second chance
a brand new day
don't give up
you'll find a way

so take a deep breath
and close your eyes
this is your life
you're gonna shine
cause this is your life

(solo)

take it all in stride
one step at a time
cause someday you will find
the words you're looking for

take it all in stride
one step at a time
cause someday you will find
the words you're looking for

this is your life
this is your time
it'll be alright
you're gonna shine
a second chance
a brand new day
don't give up
you'll find a way

so take a deep breath
and close your eyes
this is your life
you're gonna shine
cause this is your life [my emphasis]
posted by humannaire at 10:29 PM on February 22, 2010


BONUS ROUND and I really really mean it this time

The Final Placement's Shine Mp4 MediaFire download as posted by the band/from their own FB fanpage [warning MediaFire]
posted by humannaire at 10:33 PM on February 22, 2010


The one who played the solo. PS added shame: He is publically apologizing. Worth noting: He is in high school. Plus: This is him playing lead covering Van Halen.

Forgiven and redeemed.
posted by inconsequentialist at 10:57 PM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]


Are you sure this isn't a viral to introduce a new series of Growing Pains? That lead singer looks too much like Kirk Cameron.
posted by charles kaapjes at 11:04 PM on February 22, 2010


There's no way these guys are serious...


right?
posted by too bad you're not me at 11:10 PM on February 22, 2010


Wow, that was pretty terrible.

I'm more into Darwin Rock, where bands compete for limited fan resources, and evolve with changing musical tastes, and only the jammiest survive.
posted by Davenhill at 11:14 PM on February 22, 2010 [4 favorites]


Jesus should tell them to plug in their guitars, for starters.
posted by bardic at 11:41 PM on February 22, 2010


Also, Grizzly Bear is boring.

Oh no you did not. *bursts into tears, runs out of thread clutching Veckatimest to bosom*

I also love Dirty Projectors and Animal Collective. Does this make me sheep-like follower of Pitchfork? If so, then I'm okay with that.
posted by jokeefe at 12:37 AM on February 23, 2010


Okay, I just watched the first minute or two of the linked video. Exactly what key was that supposed to be in, anyway?
posted by jokeefe at 12:41 AM on February 23, 2010


Rory Marinich: One asshole thinks he can write music, and he sells it not through talent but through three moderately talented, moderately attractive girls who attract creeps unused to girls

I'm not defending the lead Dirty Projectors guy (who from all accounts is a total dong) and I really don't think it's useful to discuss the attractiveness of the female members of the band.

But I will say this: Anyone who thinks that Amber Coffman is merely "moderately talented" clearly never saw her when she took over Joileah Thalmann's spot in San Diego math rock wonderband Sleeping People, because that little woman can fucking shred. (that last one is a repeat and the sound quality on these is pretty deplorable but there aren't a ton of videos from back before Joileah came back and Amber went on to DP)

she can also shred a hamburger, as seen on the cover of the Bygones album
posted by cobra_high_tigers at 1:05 AM on February 23, 2010


Funny AC/DP/GB derail. I'm surprised by the hate for Dirty Projectors live show. I have tried to appreciate their albums, but have decided that my first impression was correct: insufferable (mostly because of the lead guy's vocals). But I saw them live about three months ago and they were fantastic! The excellence of the performance made up for the awfulness of the lead singer, and I left very, very impressed. But I am still unable to listen to their albums save for a couple of songs.

And Grizzly Bear I assume would be the opposite. I really Veckatimest (although Yellow House was a snoozer), but I didn't bother seeing them when they came to town because I thought it would be boring.
posted by molecicco at 1:24 AM on February 23, 2010


I get the impression that they formed this band, wrote and recorded this song and shot the video under duress. Or it's as if the whole thing just happened by accident. One thing's for sure, this wasn't their idea. They seemed... distracted?

Weird.
posted by gallois at 1:31 AM on February 23, 2010


There is so much bad music in the world that comes from the bowels of major record labels, costing tens of thousands of dollars to produce... i think its a bit underhanded and cruel to mock a group of young kids who are just trying to have a go at music. And the song doesn't sound that "christian" to me (it just sounds like a generic radio friendly alternative tune). (okay, not that radio friendly, in its current form, but given a little work...)

So, my question then, is why is this even worth commenting on?
posted by vantam at 2:29 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


Man, I read this entire thread waiting for someone to defend Dirty Projectors, but no one yet has!

I guess it's up to me, then. *fanFAAAARE!*

Obviously I can't change the way any of you intuitively react to stuff. All I can really do is detail why I, personally, fucking love them.

The first DP album I ever heard was the Glad Fact (2003). The sound was a bit abrasive in parts, but I really liked some of the melodies.
(For all the people above who said or implied that Dave Longstreth can't write song songs -- for me, "Off Science Hill" and "Lit From Below" act as a kind of automatic rebuttal.)
I also grew very fond of Dave's singing, mainly because I admired the bravery of it. Almost every single home-recorded album you heard in 2003 featured Elliott Smith-ish whispers, and here, this guy was belting -- acrobatically, to the fullest twist and wobble of his vocal chords, like some tortured megastar. I liked it.

Then, mysteriously and unexpectedly, I became completely obsessed with the last four songs. I would play them again and again, endlessly -- even setting them on a continuous loop as I went to bed so that I would wake up to them. There was something there and struck me really deep, and it took me quite a while to figure out what it was.

The lyrics. By and large, they were clichés, which is why I hadn't given them a lot of thought previously. But the more I listened to those last four songs, the more I realised how desperate, how completely and pathetically needed, those clichés were. On "Imaginary Love", when Dave sings,
"My love,
won't you talk to me?
won't you lay with me?"


... I didn't believe him. I didn't even believe he was singing about a real / specific person. But it effected me far more than any 'real' love song ever has, because of the desperation I could now sense shaking under the song.
This wasn't lyrical artifice, I realised -- this was completely fucking real. It was the sound of a guy trying, and failing, to express himself. And it was the sound of a guy excrutiatingly aware of that failure.

I still can't listen to those last four songs without getting emotionally wrecked for hours. They're beautiful songs on their own merit -- sombre, sparse, delicate & solitary -- but it's the feeling of brutal reality that still gets me. The shared failure, the bond of an inarticulate groan.

"The Minutes" is one of the songs I've requested be played at my funeral.

...

Skip ahead 6 years -- after an album of experimental glitch strangeness, after an album of acoustic laments and string-composed redemption-pieces, after an album of noisy Afro-spazz art-rock based on half-remembered punk songs -- and Dave has had a band finally gravitate toward him. What was before a scratchy, lo-fi, and above-all-lonely project was now being fully fleshed out, coloured in, by a bunch of (genuinely) incredibly fucking talented people.

(I won't go through all of them, but particularly worth pointing out, in my opinion, is the astonishingly sympathetic drumming of Brian McComber -- able to veer from soft to hard, groove to fury, in any seamless instant.)

The first time I heard Bitte Orca, I was so happy. What had hitherto been tortured & alone was now jubilant -- glowing with health, supported on all sides. It felt great. It felt like fulfilment.

To non-musicians, this may seem an incomprehensible (or irrelevant) point, but it's an important aspect of my love for this album:
There's a particular feeling you get when, mid-jam, you stumble upon something awesome. It's a kind of surge of joyous bewilderment -- the humble "what was THAT?!" of unexpected symbiotic success -- and the best ones always feel completely accidental. It's one of the best feelings a musician can get, and Bitte Orca, from start to finish, bursts with it.

.

This is all just how it goes with me. I don't understand how someone can hear the climax of "Useful Chamber" without their heart racing and their eyes lighting up -- I literally do not understand how. All I can really say, at the conclusion of this comically overlong comment unrelated to the FPP, is this:

Watch this video.

If it genuinely sounds like "dissonant pretension" to you, then there's nothing more I can do.
I did try, though!
posted by Rumpled at 3:46 AM on February 23, 2010 [5 favorites]


Thank you Rumpled; I've spent about ten minutes trying to articulate why I like Dirty Projectors so much, but you've done it for me. On the other hand, I can absolutely understand why people don't like them. Dave Longstreth's vocals are somewhat polarising.
posted by inire at 5:37 AM on February 23, 2010


I love the thread derail because it's the coolest coincidence for me personally. I (being un-hip) listened to both DP and AC for the first time yesterday. Bitte Orca and Merriweather Post Pavillion to be precise. I thought Bitte Orca had some lovely bits... but MPP just blew my mind inside out. And I listened to it a second time and it blew my mind inside out even more. Yes, it actually lives up to the hype. Awesome stuff. High, yes I was.

Anyway, great to see this discussion pop up on metafilter the next day in a basically unrelated thread. Noticed how sometimes you just discover something you've been oblivious of and then suddenly you see it everywhere?
posted by moorooka at 6:08 AM on February 23, 2010


carsonb, have you seen the Fiery Furnaces recently? Three or four piece, with a real interplay--almost a struggle--among the musicians. I'm not saying you'd like 'em now if you didn't like 'em then, but as someone who's been a little put off by how difficult their recordings became, I took on a new appreciation seeing 'em live.
posted by whuppy at 6:16 AM on February 23, 2010


I first heard of DP when they covered "Damaged", and thought that it wasn't nearly as clever as that Black Velvet Flag album from, like, FIFTEEN YEARS AGO. And then I heard the dude interviewed being all pretentious about it, so yeah, I don't see myself coming around any time soon.

And I like what I've heard of Animal Collective. Now if you'll excuse me, there are some damn kids on my lawn . . .
posted by whuppy at 6:28 AM on February 23, 2010


My first hearing of AC went from "hmm, that's a neat sound" to "ok, it's getting annoying" to "gah, make it stop" in the span of the first three minutes.

Anyway, back to the original topic, it strikes me that if these kids weren't tone-deaf, this song would be really catchy. It would still be saccharine radio alterna-rock, though. LOL HIGH SCHOOL (thank god we didn't have the internet when I was that age)
posted by statolith at 7:01 AM on February 23, 2010


Okay, I've watched the Dirty Projectors videos linked here and I keep wondering when the song is going to start.
posted by echo target at 7:08 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


Well after all this talk of Brooklyn's favorites I wanted to chime in.

Firstly, I am pretty certain that the link in the FPP is a joke. A fantastic joke. There are just too many goofy dead pan elements in the video for it to be real.

Secondly. Since we are talking about other bands I wanted to add one to the fray. I have always been a bit lukewarm on Dirty Projectors. I think they are alright but nothing too special. My friend wanted to go see them when they came to town so I figured why not. I wasn't expecting much and figured their live show may be a bit of a let down. But first we had to listen to the opener.

The opener was Tune-Yards. A one woman show (okay with a bassist). I had heard a few of her songs but didn't really get into it. She took the stage blew me the fxck away. She's up there with her drums, making loops on the spot, then pulls out the ukelele. I am still amazed by her. Found a pretty decent video of her here one of her more catchy songs starts at around 3:20 in the video. It's bootleg footage so the sound kind of sucks but gives you an idea. Another and okay one more here

I really really recommend giving her a listen.

After Tune-yards the Dirty Projectors took the stage. And I have to admit, they kicked ass.
posted by WickedPissah at 8:58 AM on February 23, 2010


Okay, Dude Bro didn't do too bad at Van Halen.
posted by lazaruslong at 10:29 AM on February 23, 2010


Oh Tune-Yards was the discovery of the year for me in 2009. She's fucking amazing. Buy her album!
posted by jokeefe at 12:15 PM on February 23, 2010


and animal collective's in the flowers channels syd barrett rather brilliantly, i think

There was a time last year when I had to listen to in the flowers first thing every morning at work.

They're not angel shit or anything, but MPP is a pretty good album.

I haven't tried that hard with the Dirty Projectors, but I will concur that Grizzly Bear is pretty boring. I gave the latest one a good shot, but it all smells like Steely Dan (to me).
posted by mrgrimm at 12:26 PM on February 23, 2010


Can we please get back to talking about The Shaggs?
posted by cerulgalactus at 6:29 PM on February 23, 2010


Anyway, back to the original topic, it strikes me that if these kids weren't tone-deaf, this song would be really catchy. It would still be saccharine radio alterna-rock, though.

Of course it's vaguely catchy, it's too derivative of the post-Nickelback set to not have a few copped hooks here and there. That doesn't mean there's anything to this song worth giving credit for.

Most people are focusing on the music here, but for me the most inexcusably BAD aspect of it is the relentlessly insipid lyrics. Even for a high school kid this shit is completely barren of any insight and functions merely as some first draft faux-inspiration to sell the music.

That may sound needlessly cruel but damn it, there are some things in this world that are just so godawful rotten that you actually find yourself getting MAD that you were exposed to it in the first place. Besides, I don't watch American Idol but I'm completely on board with the idea of a no bullshit, heartless bastard like Simon Cowell putting these kids in their place. The greater the number of polite adults that have patted these contestants on the back over the years the more callous the criticism needs to be in order to cut through all that aggregate, well meaning bullshit.

If you've ever lived in a small or midsized town you've no doubt encountered your fair share of bar bands that have mined the same half assed formula for years - basically zero development to show for their efforts - and it's all because no one wants to tell them they suck. Trust me, if any of the dudes in Final Placement have a chance of making a living off of music in their adult years someone needs to clue them in on how bad they are now... before it becomes a formula to begin with.
posted by squeakyfromme at 10:05 AM on February 24, 2010


« Older In this day of twitters, emails, and SMS messages,...  |  Sage advice when you're eating... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments