Iron Man Abbott

March 27, 2010 11:48 PM

Leader of Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition in Australia, Tony Abbott MHR, (the alternative Prime Minister), aged 53, is today undertaking his first full triathlon. This had led to a subtle whispering campaign over his priorities, as well as genuine fears for his health.
posted by wilful (31 comments total)

He's apparently half way through the marathon, which is reportedly the absolute crunch time.
posted by wilful at 11:51 PM on March 27, 2010

I'd love to see Joe Biden running a marathon. Now that would be a big fucking deal.
posted by letitrain at 12:02 AM on March 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Also: interest in his health which couldn't really be characterised as "genuine fears".
posted by pompomtom at 12:42 AM on March 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

.
posted by GeckoDundee at 1:56 AM on March 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oops, didn't read that properly. He's not dead? This is about as newsworthy as when he didn't die in the outback.
posted by GeckoDundee at 2:00 AM on March 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

Tony Abbott is an awful person and the political discourse of my country would be notably improved were he voted out of office. However, exercise is good for a person, it provides time for thought, and were he a man given to thought I would say that it would give him a lot of time to think about policy. Clearly he doesn't do that. But the idea is sound.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 2:39 AM on March 28, 2010 [3 favorites]

But he looks so good in a pair of budgie smugglers!
posted by dangerousdan at 2:47 AM on March 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

Surely this doesn't count as best of the web. Most reasonable Australians do want him to die. Horribly and painfully. In speedos. More smuggle than budgie, remember.
posted by taff at 2:55 AM on March 28, 2010

I think he's a cockhead but if he wants to spend his Sunday doing a triathlon that's fine by me.
posted by awfurby at 3:21 AM on March 28, 2010

Eddie Izzard laughs at his puny triathlon.
posted by PurpleJack at 3:38 AM on March 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'm pissed that Howard held on so long that we didn't get to see an Abbot & Costello leadership.

Having said that, the day Abbot became Opposition Leader was the very first time I felt a sense of fear in relation to Australian politics.

Having said THAT, I don't wish the man dead, and hope he did okay today.
posted by prettypretty at 4:34 AM on March 28, 2010

I don't want him to die, but I do want someone to video him throwing up after the run and then upload it to Youtube.
posted by Ritchie at 4:40 AM on March 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Funny, I kept thinking it was describing him as Not Safe for Work but none of the context made any sense.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:02 AM on March 28, 2010

Looks like he completed it in just under 14 hours. But marathons take a lot of training, months of it. An election can't be that far away and he hasn't got any policies yet, has he?
posted by harriet vane at 5:51 AM on March 28, 2010

harriet vane he hasn't got any policies yet, has he?
AFAIK the policy position of the Liberal-National Coalition under Abbot is "stop that, we don't like it".
posted by aeschenkarnos at 5:55 AM on March 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Indeed, is the budgie smuggler a Labor plot?

Actually, I just like saying budgie smuggler.

budgie smuggler!
posted by Wuggie Norple at 6:40 AM on March 28, 2010

Tony Abbott MHR, (the alternative Prime Minister)

This intrigues me, is he supposed to be like a Bizzaro World PM, voting Eay and Yan or does he just disagree with everything? If it's the latter we have an entire party in the US that does that now and it's not that cool at all.
posted by tommasz at 7:28 AM on March 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

I can't speak to the political side of it, but in the interest of athletic pedantry: unlike running,* every triathlon is a full triathlon. What he's performing is an Ironman or "ultra distance," but a sprint (which can be finished in under two hours) is a triathlon too.

*To those who erroneously refer to a half, a 10-miler, or even a 10K as a marathon: HAHA BUT NO.
posted by kittyprecious at 7:52 AM on March 28, 2010

This thread has introduced me to the idiom budgie smuggler, and therefore it is awesome.
posted by dhartung at 10:03 AM on March 28, 2010

This isn't just a regular triathlon, it's the Ironman, which is quite different. In 28 degree heat, no less. If he did finish it, at 53, with only ten hours a week training, he's either very lucky or very, very fit.
posted by jokeefe at 11:10 AM on March 28, 2010

Pfft. 28 degrees is pleasantly average here in Port. Pity instead those desperate hangers-on who are still finishing their runs at 11pm, long after the sun has set and the chilly ocean breeze has begun.

But I wasn't in the ironman, and didn't see Tony; there were an awful lot of bikes around town yesterday though.
posted by nonspecialist at 2:37 PM on March 28, 2010

I think he's a cockhead but if he wants to spend his Sunday doing a triathlon that's fine by me.

Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel.

or does he just disagree with everything?

Well, that's actually kind of how Oppositions work in Parliamentary systems. In my opinion it's superior than the way things are done in US, where the people in your President's own fucking party can be relied upon to disagree with everything.

Anyway, Tony finished about 1100'th out of a field of 1500. Haven't seen a vomit-video yet, unfortunately. On one hand, he's clearly trying to cultivate some kind of grounded, real, tough-guy image, what with his little desert jaunt the other week. On the other hand, there's no fucking way I could have made it more than 1km into an "Ironman Triatholon", so I'll try not to be too cynical about his efforts.
posted by Jimbob at 3:09 PM on March 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

the alternative Prime Minister

He has a floppy fringe and a long black coat, and was into that band way before they were cool.
posted by pompomtom at 3:43 PM on March 28, 2010

No love for Tony, but anyone who can swim 3.8km, then ride 180km, then run a marathon while in his fifties is pretty physically impressive. And I like the idea there is a bit more depth to politicians than the air brushed personalities we see on TV.
But it doesn't really have much impact on whether he would be a good national leader.
posted by bystander at 7:03 PM on March 28, 2010

Tony Abbott is one of those people who makes me easily throw things at the television. Most of the soundbites he gets in the news for are the polar opposite to the things that I value. I think my favorite was when he was interviewed in a women's magazine giving advice to his daughters; suggesting that a girl should keep her "gift of virginity" for marriage.

I was hoping for at least a twisted ankle after his marathon.
posted by chronic sublime at 2:38 AM on March 29, 2010

Tony Abbott is one of those people who makes me easily throw things at the television.

I'm thinking (hoping) Tony Abbott is the Mark Latham of the Liberal party. Some appeal for the true believers, completely repulsive to the vast, vast majority of Australians. I haven't been following the opinion polls on the guy, but if the Liberals think he's more likely to win them an election than Turnbull, then they are more deluded than I thought. Someone, somewhere, is sharpening a knife.
posted by Jimbob at 2:41 AM on March 29, 2010

The Latham comparison is pretty good. I'm not sure if it matters if you follow the opinion polls or not - a lot of the media report all his losses and setbacks as if they're wins anyway.
posted by harriet vane at 6:17 AM on March 29, 2010

if the Liberals think he's more likely to win them an election than Turnbull, then they are more deluded than I thought.

Here here. So, I suppose he's not all bad then...
posted by pompomtom at 4:05 PM on March 29, 2010

So, I suppose he's not all bad then...

They're running pretty bloody thin on talent. Who's next after he falls on his sword? Hockey? Bishop? Tuckey? Now that would be a laff. Thank Christ Eric Abetz is a Senator.
posted by Jimbob at 6:21 PM on March 29, 2010

Call me crazy, but I liked Mark Latham. Happy to have voted for him.

The Libs are bereft of talent at the moment. Their better performers are all moderates, and so shut out from the inner circle (Chrissy "poodle" Pyne, Greg Hunt).

I expect they'll be thrashed at the next election. Can't say I'll be sorry, becuase a good opposition is good for democracy, but that's not this oppo.

Pity Abbott survived without a scratch, eh?
posted by wilful at 8:14 PM on March 29, 2010

I was happy to vote for Mark Latham, too. Then he appeared to go batshitinsane.
posted by Jimbob at 8:23 PM on March 29, 2010