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Wild Hearses Couldn't Drag Me Away
May 13, 2010 1:34 PM   Subscribe

Some folks keep them stock, some folks like to customize them, and some folks make them into rolling sculptures. Some are more famous than others. Got a hearse? Drive a hearse? Just like hearses? You'll want to check out this year's HearseCon! Here's the ad.
posted by mattdidthat (44 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
Goths are coming back in a big way. Makes me feel young again.
posted by dobie at 1:37 PM on May 13, 2010


What, again?!
posted by entropicamericana at 1:38 PM on May 13, 2010


Excellent title, that.
posted by pjern at 1:40 PM on May 13, 2010


Finally, the perfect thread to confess my lifelong desire to get a hearse, chop the top off the bed, paint it black with flames and call it the Hell Camino.
posted by adamdschneider at 1:43 PM on May 13, 2010 [2 favorites]


Oh great, now that's my desire, too.
posted by entropicamericana at 1:45 PM on May 13, 2010 [5 favorites]


Colorado state law hasn't really passed anything that said "no flame throwers on hearses."

Yessssssss.
posted by uncleozzy at 1:47 PM on May 13, 2010


Mother bought me this Jaguar. I hope my welding skills are adequate to the task before me.
posted by adipocere at 1:48 PM on May 13, 2010 [6 favorites]


Back in high school, a friend owned a big Cadillac hearse. Got drunk for the first time in the back of that thing. He drove and a bunch of us laid around in the back, swilling cheap beer and blackberry brandy. Middle of February. Icy roads. He ended up sliding the thing through a wood fence in some guy's yard. Good times.
posted by Thorzdad at 1:49 PM on May 13, 2010


I'm now picturing ColdChef rolling around in the hearse version of the batmobile. I like the hearse ambulance restorations.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:50 PM on May 13, 2010 [2 favorites]


I drive a hearse every single day, but it's never this fun.
posted by ColdChef at 1:54 PM on May 13, 2010 [6 favorites]


Colorado state law hasn't really passed anything that said "no flame throwers on hearses."

Good thing!
posted by adamrice at 1:56 PM on May 13, 2010


Shoot, adipocere beat me to the reference... Harlod & Maude
posted by inthe80s at 1:58 PM on May 13, 2010


I drive a hearse every single day, but it's never this fun.

I'm going to start calling you Enid.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:03 PM on May 13, 2010


I came very close to going in four ways on a hearse back in college. Living in a house with 3 other people, figured it would be convenient to have a "house" car. I was going to sell my old Camry. You know, you can pick up used hearses really cheap.

In hindsight I wish we had done that. After we split I could have turned it into an art car, which is another thing I always wanted to do.
posted by penduluum at 2:04 PM on May 13, 2010


ColdChef, this one's for you.
posted by mattdidthat at 2:20 PM on May 13, 2010


Colorado state law hasn't really passed anything that said "no flame throwers on hearses."

Good thing!


Holy shit, my car.
posted by adamdschneider at 2:21 PM on May 13, 2010


This is like Bango's adolescent fantasy day on Mefi - first we have secret underground bunkers now re-purposed hearses, if someone could just come up with a FPP about Polly-Styrene from X-Ray Spex 15 year old me could live happily ever after.
posted by Bango Skank at 2:24 PM on May 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm pretty sure that whoever filmed that promo video was also behind, "Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter", because it looks EXACTLY the same.
posted by WidgetAlley at 2:46 PM on May 13, 2010


In university, I noticed that another student drove an old Mercedes hearse...you know, you can fit a lot of beer crates in the back of a hearse...
posted by Skeptic at 2:51 PM on May 13, 2010


How many posts in will it be before I see Zachary Byron Helm?
posted by boo_radley at 3:13 PM on May 13, 2010


I made this redneck hearse for a Worth1000 contest years ago. (I didn't win.)
posted by digsrus at 3:20 PM on May 13, 2010


How many posts in will it be before I see Zachary Byron Helm?

I posted the link to this post on his FB wall so we'll see!
posted by Randwulf at 3:40 PM on May 13, 2010


ColdChef, this one's for you.

Sometimes, when it's late at night, and I'm driving the hearse through some dark patch of forest or misty hills, I like to roll down the windows and listen to the theme from "Shaft." Can ya dig it?
posted by ColdChef at 3:42 PM on May 13, 2010 [1 favorite]


There is a Neil Young anecdote here somewhere.
posted by ovvl at 4:07 PM on May 13, 2010



I drive a hearse every single day, but it's never this fun.


Oh but oh ho ho it could be.
posted by The Whelk at 4:11 PM on May 13, 2010


Wouldn't a redneck hearse have KC lights, and the body strapped across the hood?
posted by BrotherCaine at 4:30 PM on May 13, 2010


I realised just now that Batman doesn't live in Arkham and that the reference I'm about to make won't quite work, but I decided not to care. So, here goes:

I'm now picturing ColdChef rolling around in the hearse version of the batmobile.

Would that be the Arkham hearssse?
posted by Syme at 4:36 PM on May 13, 2010


Any of y'all ever seen a Japanese hearse? Bet you'd like to get behind the wheel of one of those babies, eh ColdChef?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:47 PM on May 13, 2010


Ok. That's just awesome. Yes. Yes, I would like to drive one of those.
posted by ColdChef at 4:55 PM on May 13, 2010


Can ya dig it?

Actually, I more pictured you were stylin' like these dudes.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:04 PM on May 13, 2010


Whoa, hey, and where's the hot tub hearse?
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:35 PM on May 13, 2010


Maude: Is this your hearse?
Harold: Yearse.
posted by scruss at 5:56 PM on May 13, 2010


Quick nurse! Get the hearse! I'm worse!

my father used to say that with some frequency. have no idea why.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:05 PM on May 13, 2010


I once bought a hearse in order to get a mix CD.

Several years ago, a friend of mine got his car stolen. Actually, at the time, he was more of an acquaintance. We were talking online about it, and he was asking my opinion on some station wagons on Ebay that he was considering getting to replace the stolen car. Being a smartass, I ran a search for hearses.

The hearse I found was a real humdinger. A silver Cadillac Fleetwood body from the 80s, with black flames running down the sides and up the hood, red lantern lights on the sides, and a huge fire hood ornament to top it all off. Oh yeah, and it had a subwoofer the size of a toddler installed behind the passenger seat. Best of all, it was just a few hours away.

I told him that he needed to buy it. His response was "No, you buy the hearse, and I'll make the mix for us to listen to when we go pick it up."

A day or two later, the auction ended and I sent him a message. "Start making that mix." and a link to the completed auction.

What can I say, I really wanted that CD.
posted by Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld at 7:35 PM on May 13, 2010 [3 favorites]


I just realized Mefi can help me realize my dream of going 90 through a cemetery in a hearse blasting hot jazz murder music.

Come on Internet, lets do this.
posted by The Whelk at 7:42 PM on May 13, 2010


hot jazz murder music

My new favorite genre.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:57 PM on May 13, 2010


My new favorite genre.
posted by The Whelk at 8:00 PM on May 13, 2010


Actually this is the exact song I'd want for said graveyard joyriding.
posted by The Whelk at 8:01 PM on May 13, 2010


So do hearses generally haul ass because they have ginormous V-8 engines, or are they too heavy to really fly?
posted by Crabby Appleton at 10:14 PM on May 13, 2010


Chrysler Combination Ambulance & Hearse

"You had me with the stylish grill. But you lost me with the tacky orange plastic light on the roof. Then you had me again with the tail fins. But you lost me with brown-bronze paint job."

"Dude, make up your mind. Gas is expensive."
posted by StickyCarpet at 10:42 PM on May 13, 2010


After we split I could have turned it into an art car, which is another thing I always wanted to do.

[derail]
I don't know where you are or what you art-car goals involve, but in my experience the biggest obstacle to art car creation for burning man type things is work space. if you have a place to build, the car will happen.
[/derail]
posted by flaterik at 1:02 AM on May 14, 2010


No mention of Claire's hearse from Six Feet Under? Maybe that's because it's impossible to find a decent photo that's not just the promo from Season 5. Bah.

I particularly love when she boxes it into a small parking space and has to climb out the back.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 7:44 AM on May 14, 2010


My first car was almost a hearse. It ended up not working out, but urge to own one has never really completely gone away. In the back of my head, I have built and customized it a hundred different ways, from an ultra clean old school low-rider to a teched out boom-car with blower coming through the hood.

Right now I'm imagining it on a 4X4 chassis with Lamborghini style doors, but that reaches a level of tacky that even I have to admit might be too much.

The more practical side of me wants to get one just to act as a sort of cheap van/ pickup so that I can take it to the local county recycle center and fill the back with mulch for my yard.
posted by quin at 8:33 AM on May 14, 2010


Did that Harold and Maude reference make me laugh out loud goonily at my desk? Yearse!
posted by supercoollady at 1:00 PM on May 14, 2010


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