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June 17, 2010 12:40 PM   Subscribe

This is Why I'll Never be an Adult.
posted by homunculus (124 comments total) 150 users marked this as a favorite

 
Previously.
posted by homunculus at 12:41 PM on June 17, 2010


Curse you, Homunculus! *waves his pitchfork*
posted by malusmoriendumest at 12:48 PM on June 17, 2010


This is pretty much exactly my life. "I made dinner yesterday! You mean I have to do it again tonight?" "I paid that bill last month! What do they want from me, to pay them every single month?!"
posted by lunasol at 12:49 PM on June 17, 2010 [31 favorites]


Oh, well, I guess this will be deleted. But thanks for posting this, I otherwise would have missed it!
posted by lunasol at 12:51 PM on June 17, 2010


correlate this with helicopter parents and voila...
posted by infini at 12:52 PM on June 17, 2010


Yup, pretty much. I can enjoy accomplishing a task once, or even a few times, but when it just keeps needing to be repeated, it's irritating. I'd rather go out and teach myself how to replace the siding on my house than clean the inside one more time.
posted by Ickster at 12:55 PM on June 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


Man, that was frickin' accurately laser guided as hell. I mean, wow. That's just spot fucking on.

Because it's so on for me personally, it makes me wonder if the author might also have chronic anxiety issues. The not returning emails bit especially is something I know that condition has exacerbated to ridiculous extremes with me.
posted by lazaruslong at 12:55 PM on June 17, 2010 [23 favorites]


I liked this.
posted by everichon at 1:01 PM on June 17, 2010


I was thinking the same thing lazaruslong. I do the same thing.
posted by brundlefly at 1:02 PM on June 17, 2010


Oh geez, so true. When are our medals arriving?
posted by redsparkler at 1:02 PM on June 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


Yes. This is my life.
posted by naju at 1:05 PM on June 17, 2010


Because it's so on for me personally, it makes me wonder if the author might also have chronic anxiety issues.

I think she's admitted to either that or OCD on the blog in the past. That only emphasizes how hilariously awesome her self-caricatures are IMO.
posted by zombieflanders at 1:09 PM on June 17, 2010


I've been following this pattern for a while. I'll get soul crushed then make some headway after a while, rinse, repeat.

I think I've turned a corner though. I'm focusing on one thing, my diet, and will probably spend the rest of the year getting this new life habit in place. Cooking, doing the dishes and eating moderately every day. Salads, boring, steamed veggies, boring, chicken chicken chicken boring. Wash plate, wash fork, wash cup. Rinse repeat, literally. But I've resigned to it. It's just an hour that is going to be gone from my day each day. Each day, an hour of mundane food prep and cleaning. At least I'm getting my vitamins.

No one is trying to package and sell me a healthy food relationship. I'm slogging through it, and I've gained a little self respect for myself. After a while I think I'll take on something else, maybe exercise, then something else until I'm finally out of the pattern.
posted by parallax7d at 1:13 PM on June 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


This is so great! I continue to be amazed by the expressiveness some people can wring out of a few quick lines and a bit of coloring. That's serious talent!
posted by ErikaB at 1:14 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


Hmm. Now all the people throwing around words like "anxiety" are making me very, er, anxious.
posted by naju at 1:14 PM on June 17, 2010


leaving me almost completely useless for anything other than consuming nachos and surfing the internet like an attention-deficient squirrel on PCP.

oh boy, i get on these cycles but no disorders or guilt, just plain "I need a break from life" ;p usually after a heavy duty fieldtrip
posted by infini at 1:14 PM on June 17, 2010


Clean ALL the things?
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:16 PM on June 17, 2010 [44 favorites]


That was surprisingly accurate.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 1:16 PM on June 17, 2010


Yep. My life in a nutshell...
posted by MelanieL at 1:18 PM on June 17, 2010


INTERNET?


FOREVER.
posted by The Whelk at 1:19 PM on June 17, 2010 [4 favorites]


She makes my misery so funny!
posted by anoirmarie at 1:21 PM on June 17, 2010 [4 favorites]


Ickster: Hardiplank siding is ridiculously easy to install. Air nailer + spacing clips = no-brainer.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:23 PM on June 17, 2010


This describes my life nearly to the letter.
posted by promptcurry at 1:26 PM on June 17, 2010


In my case, I am constantly alarmed at the shrinking number of grown-up things I can handle. There is an issue with recurring but rather brief bouts of depression, after which there are even more things to 'catch up on', but my level of 'normal' functionality has gone down another half-step each time. I'm too old to feel like I'm not a grown-up, but I'm also too young to feel so old.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:27 PM on June 17, 2010 [4 favorites]


dont delay life!
posted by kuatto at 1:36 PM on June 17, 2010


The whole world young and old is going to have to face these issues in years to come. Why should anyone do anything but be on the internet all the time? Why? Philosophers will need to come up with some good answers.
posted by Faze at 1:37 PM on June 17, 2010 [10 favorites]


Count me as a "me too." Whenever people ask why I don't have kids I tell them that my responsibility level tops out at "cat."

I can add the guilt of "I'm a bad feminist" too since I make Mr. Arkham handle all the bills, insurance, taxes, etc.
posted by JoanArkham at 1:39 PM on June 17, 2010 [5 favorites]


I can add the guilt of "I'm a bad feminist" too since I make Mr. Arkham handle all the bills, insurance, taxes, etc.

Ha! I am an excellent feminist, since I make Mrs. Zed do all of that!
posted by Zed at 1:42 PM on June 17, 2010 [26 favorites]


Are people basing the anxiety thing on just this post? Because I'm like 98% sure I don't have that and this still describes the on-week off-week nature of my productivityness. Although for me it's more like "THE PEOPLES I will socialize with them!" followed by "If anyone comes between me and the PS3 I will need to do some face stabbing..."
posted by edbles at 1:43 PM on June 17, 2010 [6 favorites]


My wife makes fun of me for not opening my mail. Why should I? I know what's in all of the envelopes with return addresses in the middle of the country and no stamps. It's not like I'm going to discover anything exciting in there.
posted by maxwelton at 1:46 PM on June 17, 2010 [12 favorites]


The Internet makes procrastination infinitely easier, but many of us didn't exactly work like beavers before it came along. I used to go the library and scan through random books instead of doing real work, and now the same experience can be had without leaving home. Heck, Metafilter makes it even easier to procrastinate effectively!

Wash dishes for the ten thousandth time, or read about medieval Syrian marriage customs on the blue? Tough choice...
posted by Kevin Street at 1:46 PM on June 17, 2010 [6 favorites]


Never would have expected so many female "that's my life" commenters over there. But i guess for some reason that blog has a mostly female audience.
posted by vertriebskonzept at 1:50 PM on June 17, 2010


This makes me feel far more accomplished that I actually am.
posted by Theta States at 1:50 PM on June 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


Man, I can't imagine what my life would be like without online bill pay. Probably it would involve paying a lot of bills. Which, when I was growing up seemed to be the only thing adults did.
posted by delmoi at 1:55 PM on June 17, 2010 [12 favorites]


The whole world young and old is going to have to face these issues in years to come. Why should anyone do anything but be on the internet all the time? Why? Philosophers will need to come up with some good answers.

It's how we replaced television.

:(
posted by A Terrible Llama at 1:55 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


The only reason this isn't the best thing on her site is because of the goose story.
posted by gwint at 1:59 PM on June 17, 2010 [4 favorites]


I expected to relate to that more. I sort of relate to the not-cooking part. I keep my apartment pretty clean but I laughed at "clean ALL the things?" because yes. But I will never fully comprehend the email-replying anxiety. Maybe everyone else just gets a lot more email than I do? Or dislikes writing email more than I do?
posted by millipede at 2:00 PM on June 17, 2010


I somehow didn't bother to click on this blog the last time it was on Mefi.

I have now laughed myself to tears. Good god, this is a funny blog.
posted by Fleebnork at 2:02 PM on June 17, 2010


Laugh out loud.
posted by Not Supplied at 2:03 PM on June 17, 2010


To clarify, I'm not saying that any hetero relationship where the male partner handles all the money issues is "anti feminist." But I am completely ignorant of our finances in a disturbingly "Lucy Ricardo" way. Which is something I was planning to go over this weekend, even before this post, I swear.
posted by JoanArkham at 2:05 PM on June 17, 2010


I think this pretty well describes a broader phenomenon, recent college graduates out of work for a year or two (as I know the author is). It's kind of like a twilight of "adultness", no real responsibilities other than cleaning and feeding yourself and not a whole lot of money to do much else. Plus lots of people have a romantic idea of what a 22-29 year old should be like, a binge drinking college student, too young and wild to get married or become a parent. So, you kinda roll with it.

You dole out responsibilities to yourself to receive that incremental reward, a sense of accomplishment. Does anyone give a shit that you scrubbed your toilet today? No, nor does it really benefit society in any meaningful way, but you now have an answer for "what did you do today?". You reaffirm your worthiness as a human, which you can now reward with internet or nachos or just plain not feeling like shit.

I've seen this in people of all ages that are unemployed. That one task takes up all of your focus and effort for the day. Can't schedule too many tasks for one day, or by mid week you'll have nothing to do.

I really understand the saying "If you want something done, ask a busy person". Dropping off dry cleaning, or picking up a prescription can be worked in to a normal person's day, no sweat. Ask an unemployed person, and it becomes their day.

Oh, and especially for co-habitating (straight) women, (as the author is), falling into domestic roles is a really seductive trap. No one models to you how to be unemployed, but cheery cleaning woman? Sure! You're going to put on some mood music and have a dance date with your Swiffer Brand cleaning products in Man-Bait Lavender (TM) scent!
posted by fontophilic at 2:09 PM on June 17, 2010 [23 favorites]


Yeah. Recent college graduates, 22-29. That's it.
posted by XMLicious at 2:16 PM on June 17, 2010 [4 favorites]


Looks like this chickie has a new webmaster auto reply disclaimer for her corporate site:

No. Absolutely not. Every time you email me to ask if I'd like to "link swap" with you, Satan disembowels a baby koala.

I'll run it past brand committe.
posted by stormpooper at 2:18 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


everichon: "I liked this."

Alot.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 2:19 PM on June 17, 2010 [4 favorites]


I keep reading the "Clean ALL the things" in a Golem voice. It's awesome.
posted by anoirmarie at 2:23 PM on June 17, 2010 [6 favorites]


While I am a more-or-less productive 37-year-old male and have a "real" job and my skills at the RPG called Adult Life are prodigious, the linked comic still spoke strongly to my subjective experience. I am unsure whether it's an ADD thing or a "life in North America" thing, or what, but I don't think it is merely an unemployed female twentysomething thing.
posted by everichon at 2:24 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


Once again, hyperbole and a half is disturbingly close to home. This is me, many days. I vary wildly between "I haven't done anything; I suck" and "look at this huge impressive list of incredibly dumb mundane stuff I accomplished!". I'm equally busy during both times. It's not so great, actually...
posted by lriG rorriM at 2:27 PM on June 17, 2010


>I really understand the saying "If you want something done, ask a busy person". Dropping off dry cleaning, or picking up a prescription can be worked in to a normal person's day, no sweat. Ask an unemployed person, and it becomes their day.

Yep, been there, done that. My house is so much cleaner now that I have a job. Energy, structure and order are self-perpetuating things.
...Up to the limit of a nervous breakdown.
Where I am currently headed.

posted by pointless_incessant_barking at 2:27 PM on June 17, 2010


I keep reading the "Clean ALL the things" in a Golem voice. It's awesome.

It also works in the Patton Oswalt "I want ALL the ham!" voice. (It's on Hulu for those of you who can get Hulu-- Conan O'Brien, January 4th 2010.)
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 2:29 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


these are the MS Paint-ish best illustrations ever, her facial expressions are priceless
INTERNET...FOREVER.......
posted by Juicy Avenger at 2:36 PM on June 17, 2010


dyslexia....everfor!
posted by Juicy Avenger at 2:37 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


No such thing as adult. Just adult responsibilities. The process of growing up is really just a slow sad slide towards bad politics and worse knitwear. Life is first boredom, then fear...

Drinking helps, I find.
posted by tigrefacile at 2:38 PM on June 17, 2010 [11 favorites]


To clarify, I'm not saying that any hetero relationship where the male partner handles all the money issues is "anti feminist." But I am completely ignorant of our finances in a disturbingly "Lucy Ricardo" way. Which is something I was planning to go over this weekend, even before this post, I swear.

Don't feel bad. My wife handles all our finances because she handles multi-million-dollar contracts at her job, while I mostly just drag pictures around in Adobe programs for a living.
posted by Fleebnork at 2:48 PM on June 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


And by "living" I mean "barely enough money to eat".
posted by Fleebnork at 2:49 PM on June 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


fuck i was reading this at 3:17am I hate myself
posted by vanar sena at 2:53 PM on June 17, 2010 [3 favorites]


Dropping off dry cleaning, or picking up a prescription can be worked in to a normal person's day, no sweat. Ask an unemployed person, and it becomes their day.

Ha! I totally wish this were true. I'm normal, and busy, but I do have a low-level case of ADHD, which makes sustained activities like cleaning on a regular basis or picking up prescriptions the same time every month somewhat challenging. I loved this chart, and this thread, because it's nice to know I'm not the only one.
posted by lunasol at 2:54 PM on June 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'm pretty happy because I have just discovered that I am in fact not a loser for my life being exactly like this. Based on the sheer number of comments proclaiming OMG meeee tooooo!, I am simply normal.
posted by newpotato at 2:58 PM on June 17, 2010 [6 favorites]


So funny this I came across.
posted by Skygazer at 2:58 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


Based on the sheer number of comments proclaiming OMG meeee tooooo!, I am simply normal.

Yeah, a bit of a relief, but then again it's like: Yikes!! Who's going to keep civilization going.

*Goes to hide under bed. Again. *
posted by Skygazer at 3:00 PM on June 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


Dropping off dry cleaning, or picking up a prescription can be worked in to a normal person's day, no sweat. Ask an unemployed person, and it becomes their day.

Ha! I totally wish this were true. I'm normal, and busy, but I do have a low-level case of ADHD, which makes sustained activities like cleaning on a regular basis or picking up prescriptions the same time every month somewhat challenging.


I'm normal, no ADHD, and have a good job. These things? Huge obstacles requiring serious feats of labor undertaken only with much encouragement and whining. And probably can't happen until later in the afternoon than I meant to get to it sometime Saturday. Or maybe Sunday if the place is still open.
posted by dilettante at 3:07 PM on June 17, 2010 [3 favorites]


My wife handles all our finances because she handles multi-million-dollar contracts at her job

Strangely enough, so do I, yet I still consider it a major accomplishment to pay my bills on time.

I find there's a strange disconnect between how I approach work responsibilities (generally not a problem; I need to do well here or there will be hell to pay, right?) and how I approach everyday responsible adult things. Maybe it's because I come home from work and feel like I've done my day's share of productive things, so I feel entitled to just spent the rest of my day rewarding myself with beer and The Wire and Chrono Trigger. Yes, I'm a man-child and I don't know how to fix it.
posted by naju at 3:08 PM on June 17, 2010 [14 favorites]


I'm impressed with her ability to make nachos on a whim. Around these parts, that's a full on project.

Other than that, ridiculously accurate. I just got my email down from approximately 1800 unread messages a couple of months ago, and I have a very important unanswered email sitting in my Inbox right now that's nine days old. Maybe I'll answer it right after I check out her archives...
posted by BigSky at 3:08 PM on June 17, 2010


Goes to hide under bed. Again.

If you can hide under the bed without first giving a thought as to what terrifying forms of dust-bunny life have evolved under there, you're ahead of our household.
posted by maxwelton at 3:13 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


I find there's a strange disconnect between how I approach work responsibilities...

My wife does that too, only she manifests it in the form of being slovenly around the house. She's Oscar to my Felix.

Also, Allie's job prospects would probably be increased exponentially if they moved from Hamilton to Missoula.
posted by Fleebnork at 3:18 PM on June 17, 2010


Would you look at those idiots? I paid my taxes over a year ago!
posted by Who_Am_I at 3:56 PM on June 17, 2010 [4 favorites]


Oh man, and here I am worried about stuff like finding out I'm being forced to move before my lease is up because the landlord sold the property; doubling, tripling then quadrupling my workload; attending two out-of-state nonrefundable traveling events; having a complete hard drive failure; planning a wedding AND trying to figure out what to do with several less-than-a-year-old major appliances I no longer can keep within a 30-day period.

I can't remember the last time I didn't eat something straight from the wrapper at my desk during one of my 10-14 hour workdays.

Thank god I have people who love me and some healthy perspective. That said, when I have even a smidgen of time to waste, I'm pretty sure I'm Allie's secretly adopted-out twin sister.

And even when I don't have a SECOND of time to waste and only got 3 hours' sleep the night before... even when I'm in physical pain from exhaustion... I'm still her.

I think this is a combination of inertia, hypermania, OCD behavior, self-sabotage, despair and insomnia that's somehow indicative of the current need to be constantly aware of what's going on and feeling unable to live up to the impossible standard of perfection that society demands we purs-

SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 4:01 PM on June 17, 2010 [7 favorites]


Another me too, here. Also a me too about the disconnect between work and home. Nothing else to add to the conversation.

Nachos and internet.
posted by snwod at 4:13 PM on June 17, 2010


I am not sure whether this made me laugh or cry. Because, yes. This. All of this. Can I go hide under the bed now?
posted by stoneweaver at 5:02 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


Yesterday I was being a grownup, and invited some old friends around for lunch. I cleaned, I baked, I did my daughter's hair. They came, we talked about stuff, I put some cheese rolls in the oven to grill. Then I made coffee. Then I went to fetch a toy. Then the smoke alarm went off and smoke started pouring out of the oven. I started running around in circles between the smoke alarm and the firey cheese rolls, uncertain which to deal to first.

I think my grown-up prize should have arrived just before that moment. But it didn't, and I think I forfeit it now.
posted by tracicle at 5:11 PM on June 17, 2010 [6 favorites]


I think this is a combination of inertia, hypermania, OCD behavior, self-sabotage, despair and insomnia

Funny, I think that's what I've got too.
posted by jacalata at 5:27 PM on June 17, 2010


"Clean all the things" works even better in the Golem voice when you sing it as he did in the forbidden pool:

E-mail
Bank
Grocery shopping
Clean all the things!
posted by bwg at 5:33 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


Adulthood kind of sucks. But then again so do young people.
posted by jonmc at 5:42 PM on June 17, 2010


No such thing as adult. Just adult responsibilities

I remember when I realized this. I remember realizing my parents are only just slightly taller versions of me. I was like 10.
posted by tuck_nroll at 5:44 PM on June 17, 2010


in the theme of tuck_nroll, everyone is fucked u, no one has their shit together, you are not an impostor.

I remember realizing my Mom was Another Human Being at 15 or so, right before I started taking over all the cooking and cleaning in the apartment, we're all just people trying to make the best of a bad situation.
posted by The Whelk at 5:57 PM on June 17, 2010


I just adore her illustrations. At first glance, they look sloppy, but as you continue reading, you see the details that really bring the story alive. Genius!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:22 PM on June 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


Just imagine that the Human Resources Specialist at the next job you apply to is an equally clueless person, a new hire on probation with "benchmarks" to meet and fear of losing her job if she doesn't meet them; the people upstairs don't know you, they don't know anything.
posted by bad grammar at 6:33 PM on June 17, 2010


Huh. I just got back from an awesome trip and now have to unpack, clean the house, answer e-mails and phone messages, and deal with all the things I didn't have to deal with while I was away. Am I doing any of that stuff? No. If you could see me right now, I would look like the drawings in that blog post (slumped over, bug eyed, Gollum-esque).

INTERNET! FOREVER! pretty much sums it up.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 6:36 PM on June 17, 2010


I live in a totally feminist housework where, instead of the woman doing all the cleaning and cooking while the guy sits on his butt, it's the guy who does all the cleaning and cooking while I sit on my butt! That's, uh, that's progress?

I just got back from an awesome trip and now have to unpack....

Unpacking is my kyroptonite. While I'm no good at most other bits of housework, unpacking just never ever happens. I go weeks with the luggage in the corner, staring at me expectantly. Every once in a while I'll get its hopes up by going over and ruffling through, but, no, I'm just pulling out what underwear or socks I need that day.
posted by meese at 6:41 PM on June 17, 2010 [5 favorites]


"If you want something done, ask a busy person"

Oh. OOOOHHHHH thank you now I finally have a plan for getting stuff done! Also, this blog is really great, best of the web. It's got me looking for the word "alot" everywhere.

This really, really helps. It helps to know I'm not alone. I don't know anyone in my offline life who uses the internet as much as I do or even values it that much. Because they're all busy. Whereas for me the internet is such a huge part of my life. But then there's all the other stuff that's supposed to be a part of life. Some of it's even rewarding, like Outside. And eating off Clean Dishes. But when you don't have a job of any kind (I'm in school, but it's online and takes up only a few hours of time a week), it's just, man, I feel so disordered. Although now that I think about it, my dad works all day delivering mail and comes home, watches tv and surfs facebook/watches train videos/listens to music.

It's not like there isn't anything to do. There is a lot that needs to be done (almost purposefully typed "alot" but "alot that needs to be done" I'm not sure, is that an alot that needs a rogering, or an unfinished alot or what). I just am not motivated. Even when I am NOT depressed, seriously, I'm just not motivated to do this stuff at all.
posted by Danila at 6:44 PM on June 17, 2010


I think she's admitted to either that or OCD on the blog in the past.

She has mentioned her wicked ADHD fairly often, I think.
posted by elizardbits at 6:47 PM on June 17, 2010


Believe in yourself.
posted by wobh at 7:19 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is all precisely how I feel about how my first real internship is going right now. Luckily the mentors are there to assure me that all things are pretty normal for projects like these (and a lot has gotten done). Meanwhile I continue to think:there are only X weeks left. . . . . And I want Y done by then. It is likely to get done in irregularly placed waves.
posted by JoeXIII007 at 7:24 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


Those facial expressions. She is like Kate Beaton's crazier long-lost sister.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 7:30 PM on June 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


The frame where she's huddled in the corner clutching her trophy is wonderful.
posted by dilettante at 7:33 PM on June 17, 2010


The life and lines of Allie Brosh: Hyperbole and a Half
posted by homunculus at 7:49 PM on June 17, 2010


A++++

this is pretty much ADHD in the ADHD household in which I live

recent quote "don't tell me to tell you to do things unless you're going to do them right away because I am going to forget to tell you!"

anyway, we're both adults, we just don't clean the things more than once a month and all is well
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 8:53 PM on June 17, 2010


I am going to remember this the next time I am off Doing Things and feeling like a complete fraud.

I really do. I have days when I'm just waiting for someone to stop me while I'm waiting in line at the pharmacy and be all HEY YOU. What do you think you're doing, attempting this Activity for Adults? I know damn well that forty minutes ago you were wearing Sesame Street pajamas and playing got your nose with the dog. Go home, you're not fooling anybody!

But if that's all of us, then I think I'm okay.
posted by cmyk at 9:03 PM on June 17, 2010 [9 favorites]


maxwelton, just make sure it's bulk mail, rather than first class. I used to follow the middle-of-the-country-no-stamp-circular-file rule, but then the first indication I had that our mortgage had been sold to Wells Fargo was the 90-day-late notice.
posted by palliser at 9:04 PM on June 17, 2010


Just wanted to chime in how totally true this is for me. Yikes.
posted by liquorice at 9:53 PM on June 17, 2010


OK, that stings a little.
posted by bardic at 10:00 PM on June 17, 2010


This is me. If I could take a pill and make it go away, I'd take it.

Seriously. Depressed peopled get drugs. ADHD kids get drugs. Where are my drugs to stop me pissing away my life here?
posted by obiwanwasabi at 10:33 PM on June 17, 2010


It is nice to know that I am not the only one.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 11:23 PM on June 17, 2010


"Seriously. Depressed peopled get drugs. ADHD kids get drugs. Where are my drugs to stop me pissing away my life here?"

If you're like this blog person seriously consider whether you have ADHD because this shit is classic ADHD with a little anxiety on the side (possibly created as a side effect of the ADHD)

Obviously I am not diagnosing you (no one freak out about it, okay) just...reconsider. The "pissing my life away because I never do anything" is really ,really common among people with ADHD. Underacheiver, consistent failure, never finishes anything, can't do chores or pay bills consistently...
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 11:42 PM on June 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


I really don't understand why people continue to shout "Yep, anxiety disorder!" or "THAT RIGHT THERE is ADHD" when apparently 95% of the (metafilter reading) population is at the same time going "oh christ that's me".

I mean, unless I've been wrong all these years and this is really a forum for ADHD and AD suffererers.

... actually that would explain a lot.
posted by Skyanth at 12:44 AM on June 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


(sufferererererererers.)
posted by Skyanth at 12:46 AM on June 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm mostly like this.

Except I do do cleaning, because messy rooms make me uncomfortable. I guess that's a good thing!
posted by Harry at 2:46 AM on June 18, 2010


Harry: "I'm mostly like this.

Except I do do cleaning, because messy rooms make me uncomfortable. I guess that's a good thing!
"

OCD!
posted by Skyanth at 2:52 AM on June 18, 2010


apparently 95% of the (metafilter reading) population is at the same time going "oh christ that's me".

Well, yeah. Everyone else is cleaning all the things and going to the bank, not posting on the internet.
posted by cmyk at 2:56 AM on June 18, 2010 [19 favorites]


Skyanth: OCD!"

You down with OCD (Yeah you know me)
You down with OCD (Yeah you know me)
You down with OCD (Yeah you know me)
Who's down with OCD (Every last homie)
posted by bwg at 3:32 AM on June 18, 2010


I love you for linking to this. I'd never seen this blog and it is now my new best friend. Thank you for brightening up my day!
posted by ukdanae at 5:13 AM on June 18, 2010


A memorandum in defense of adulthood:

People in this thread have been predominantly trashing adulthood, myself included, here is a list of things about adulthood that rule:

- Getting Laid
- Beer
- Being in charge of how and when you indulge yourself.
- Socializing being composed primarily of people you choose, not people who just share the same 3 digits at the end of their zip code.
- Up to a point you make decisions about when, how, where and who you live with.
- No one is trying to tell me I can’t use the internet because of child molesters.
- You pretty much can keep learning things forever, your perspective constantly changes and get polished and more refined.
-Every year older I get there’s more and more art that I understand better, emotional resonances that never would have landed on teenager me that now hit me like a sack of hammers. It seems like mostly the world gets cooler and easier to deal with and then suddenly harder, but then easier.
posted by edbles at 5:16 AM on June 18, 2010 [15 favorites]


If you're like this blog person seriously consider whether you have ADHD because this shit is classic ADHD with a little anxiety on the side (possibly created as a side effect of the ADHD)

Obviously I am not diagnosing you (no one freak out about it, okay) just...reconsider. The "pissing my life away because I never do anything" is really ,really common among people with ADHD. Underacheiver, consistent failure, never finishes anything, can't do chores or pay bills consistently...


FALSE CONSENSIS BIAS- (noun phrase) when one person finds an activity, (such as religion, therapy, or drugs) helpful or rewarding and assumes this same activity will be helpful and rewarding for everyone regardless of temperament, background, or tendency towards hyperbole

Internet fraud detective squad, station number 9:
You are guilty of dispensing advice while under the influence of a false consensus bias.*
I hereby sentence you to CLEANING ALL THE THINGS.

* I have decided to ignore your, “I am not diagnosing you” because this sort of equivocating is symptomatic in cases of FCB.
posted by edbles at 5:43 AM on June 18, 2010


You guys have seen spaghatta nadle right?
posted by Happy Dave at 6:05 AM on June 18, 2010


Adulthood kind of sucks. But then again so do young people.
posted by jonmc at 8:42 PM

THIS THIS A MILLION TIMES THIS

i used to be the youngest in our building. now, am one of the old ones
--an adult with OMFG kiiiiiiiiiiiids!

i hate the young people moving into my building and ruining what's left of my youth :)
posted by liza at 6:07 AM on June 18, 2010


Fortunately a lot of Real World Responsibilities can be automated, bill pay, roomba, amazon prime and zappos trivialize a good half of them. What's left is easier to take care of in little chunks and much less overwhelming.
posted by Skorgu at 6:51 AM on June 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


I mean, unless I've been wrong all these years and this is really a forum for ADHD and AD suffererers.

Maybe!
posted by lunasol at 7:51 AM on June 18, 2010


When my friend (who is like this, as am I, when I am not being all super crazy OCD CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN -- the mister runs away when he sees me cleaning a little too hard, because many times I clean to get rid of frustration) sent me this, I laughed so hard I cried. And then I read the entire site archives. But this post is pretty much the pinnacle for me...
posted by bitter-girl.com at 8:04 AM on June 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


"I mean, unless I've been wrong all these years and this is really a forum for ADHD and AD suffererers."

go to NYC mefi meetups

whisper the password

you will meet 2939 adhders

this is like ADHD crack
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 9:28 AM on June 18, 2010 [3 favorites]


the password is

omgihowareyouwaitdidyouseethatohhitherewaitwhatonesecondletmetextokayhuhdidyoubringitwho?
posted by The Whelk at 9:32 AM on June 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


look!! a butterfly
posted by infini at 9:46 AM on June 18, 2010


I conquered the "Internet... FOREVER!" by refusing to use the electricity in my house. Now I can only "Internet... FOR THE LIFE OF THE LAPTOP BATTERY!" before being forced to think about what I'm doing. I still spend too much time on the Internet, but at least I sleep now.

Also, it is not really necessary to unpack. If you really need that stuff, you'll get it out of the luggage. If you don't, it'll stay packed until next time you need to go somewhere. (At least, that's what I tell myself.)
posted by yomimono at 12:52 PM on June 18, 2010


I conquered the "Internet... FOREVER!" by refusing to use the electricity in my house. Now I can only "Internet... FOR THE LIFE OF THE LAPTOP BATTERY!" before being forced to think about what I'm doing. I still spend too much time on the Internet, but at least I sleep now.

That worked for me until I got a laptop with a fresh new battery & an SSD. I looked up one night at 1:30 wondering what had happened to my evening. Someone else has that laptop now.
posted by morganw at 4:02 PM on June 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


fuck i was reading this at 3:17am I hate myself

Read it at 4:20. You'll feel differently.
posted by stormpooper at 5:54 PM on June 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


Unpacking is my kyroptonite.

I went to Florida back in February for 10 days to see my mom. When I went down again in mid-May for the space shuttle launch, I could have taken the same bag with me. Because it was still packed.
posted by elizardbits at 8:11 PM on June 18, 2010


Okay guys, I'm about to go the motherfucking bank* like a goddamn adult. I'm just letting you know now so that you can have the trophy waiting for me right when I get back.

*depositing x-mas checks and hoping they're not expired yet.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 8:41 AM on June 19, 2010 [2 favorites]


I, um, just had Mr. Arkham go to the bank for me to deposit birthday checks. But! I just vacuumed behind the treadmill! Take that, adulthood! Ok, INTERNET! break over...
posted by JoanArkham at 8:46 AM on June 19, 2010


I installed a ceiling lamp!...Or rather I "helped!" by staying out of my SO's way and baking yorkshire puddings for later. Maybe I'll even go to the BANK!
posted by The Whelk at 11:39 AM on June 19, 2010


Whoever said "if you want something done, ask a busy person" has so completely encapsulated my existence. During the school year while I'm teaching - get a haircut? pick up cat food? go to the post office? DONE.

During the summer? ...eh... maybe I'll get to that tomorrow. One of those, at least. Maybe.

I showed the link to my wife who, aside from being the busiest, most energetic and organized person I know, immediately said "Oh my God, that's you in a nutshell."

And now "Clean ALL the things?" has become shorthand around our house for when she leaves me honey-do lists over the summer.
posted by mdaugherty82 at 12:27 PM on June 19, 2010


"Clean ALL the things?" is my new O HAI.
posted by cereselle at 7:54 AM on June 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


I have just come to accept the fact that I am a living binary switch who can only function if I let all my chores pile up into a whole day of running around frantically. Being sensible and doing a little bit each day just ....doesn't hit my buttons and ends in fail, I think it's the adrenaline junkie aspect.
posted by The Whelk at 9:32 AM on June 20, 2010


I really should unpack from the last trip otoh i'm moving in a couple of days... sigh
posted by infini at 11:09 AM on June 20, 2010


living binary switch who can only function if I let all my chores pile up into a whole day of running around frantically.

to paraphrase the inimitable Calvin: There's no better mood than a carefully cultivated, last-minute panic.
posted by namewithoutwords at 8:40 AM on June 21, 2010 [3 favorites]


"I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive." - Joseph Campbell
posted by Twang at 5:51 PM on June 22, 2010


Dog
posted by homunculus at 2:37 PM on July 6, 2010 [4 favorites]


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