Dreaming of a peaceful lagoon.....

June 24, 2010 10:41 AM

Comedian Dan Telfer wants to know what dinosaur you think is best.
posted by lazaruslong (67 comments total)

Where might one go about buying his pixelated tie?
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 10:45 AM on June 24, 2010

that was wonderful
posted by farishta at 10:47 AM on June 24, 2010

I was totally ready to hate that - comedians are usually so played out - but that was awesome.

There should be more comedians that know stuff about cool things, and are willing to demonstrate it.
posted by koeselitz at 10:48 AM on June 24, 2010

l33tpolicywonk: "Where might one go about buying his pixelated tie?"

FTW
posted by Perplexity at 10:48 AM on June 24, 2010

l33tpolicywonk: "Where might one go about buying his pixelated tie?"

Here's one.
posted by lazaruslong at 10:49 AM on June 24, 2010

This is hilarious. I am genuinely amused by a man being angry about dinosaurs. The brontosaurus history and the Michael-Chrichton-fucking-up-the-velociraptor (seriously, it's a chicken, people) stuff is worth it alone. Am I the only one to have to come to the realization that while not everyone has an animal which they can choose as their favorite, everyone has a favorite dinosaur? (Triceratops. They're just so damn cute.)

(If you're wondering what is around his neck, by the way)
posted by griphus at 10:49 AM on June 24, 2010

Okay thanks to that damn tie, this entire thread just failed the geek test. I hope we're all proud of ourselves, people.
posted by griphus at 10:50 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Stegosaurus still wins.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:51 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

man is angry 'bout dead things.
posted by boo_radley at 10:53 AM on June 24, 2010

I saw this guy live a few times and he seriously cracked my shit up. I think I saw him on the train one morning and I felt all fan-girlish and too shy to say anything. Ever since the Lakeshore theater closed I don't know where he's playing now. I guess I could use the googles to look that up.
posted by amethysts at 10:57 AM on June 24, 2010

Ankylosaurus. A walking tank with spikes and a club tail. So full of win.
posted by Splunge at 10:59 AM on June 24, 2010

He's full of it about the stegosaurus brain thing, though. That's been debunked for a while now.
posted by ursus_comiter at 11:00 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

I was so linking ankylosaurus before I got to the end. Ankylosaurus represent!
posted by cashman at 11:01 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Fun Trivia: Gary Larson not only has a owl louse named after him, but got to name the series of spikes on certain dinosaurs' tails.
posted by griphus at 11:04 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

Off topic, but Youtube seems to have added an extra button with a little soccer ball on it....
posted by jefbla at 11:09 AM on June 24, 2010

Your favorite dinosaur sucks.
posted by mmmbacon at 11:11 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Nice find - science humor rocks!
posted by NoraCharles at 11:17 AM on June 24, 2010

We may be different but we're all creatures. All dinosaurs have different features. C'mon Buddy. We'll take a vacation. I'll get us a ticket at Pteranodon station. We'll travel the world in sunshine and rain and meet all the species on the DINOSAUR TRAIN.
posted by Artw at 11:19 AM on June 24, 2010

jefbla: “Off topic, but Youtube seems to have added an extra button with a little soccer ball on it....”

Yeah, that's the new "Vuvuzela mode."
posted by koeselitz at 11:19 AM on June 24, 2010

I was going to claim Pachycephalosauria as a personal favorite, for their skulls which were designed to ram into each-other, but that idea was generally debunked a decade ago, and the dome shape changed over time (at least as reported in 2004). That's pretty interesting, but I think I'll go with Triceratops. Centrosaurus were wimps, though.

Off topic, but Youtube seems to have added an extra button with a little soccer ball on it....

Careful, you have just found the Vuvuzela Button (Seriously)
posted by filthy light thief at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2010

Oh, and Pterosaurs have fur now. Fucking scientists.
posted by Artw at 11:27 AM on June 24, 2010

In addition to the ass-brain thing, he gets this wrong: the so-called "Brontosaurus" had a Camarasaurus skull, not a Stegosaurus skull.

Other than that, this guy was awesome. I'm totally with him on the Deinonychus v. Velociraptor issue.

For the record, my vote is for Parasauralophus. That or Oviraptor.
posted by brundlefly at 11:27 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

I am embarrassed to say how inordinately bothered I was by his missing syllable in Giganotosaurus and the weird insertion of a Stegosaurus skull in the history of Brontosaurus.

My favorite dinosaur is the Dinosauroid.
posted by dougmoon at 11:28 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Saw this guy live. Very hilarious and charming and knowledgable about dinosaurs.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 11:29 AM on June 24, 2010

Wish I'd been there. No love for my man Archaeopteryx. As a dinosaur, maybe a little meh. As a fossil, though, made entirely of win and smothered in awesomesauce.
posted by The Bellman at 11:29 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Best Dinosaur? Microsoft™.

Pffft, that was easy....
posted by dbiedny at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2010

His instant plesiosaur response was what perfected this bit.
posted by CaseyB at 11:31 AM on June 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

dougmoon: "I am embarrassed to say how inordinately bothered I was by his missing syllable in Giganotosaurus"

You and me both, although I've made that mistake a few times.
posted by brundlefly at 11:31 AM on June 24, 2010

His instant plesiosaur response was what perfected this bit.

Yeah, I guess if you;re going to be picky about it like that the dolphin-shaped Icthyosaur is out too.

I always thought that it was kind of amazing that there was a fish (shark), a mammal (dolphin) and this thing all with the same body shape... I guess it's a pretty ideal bodyplan for vertebrate marine predators.
posted by Artw at 11:35 AM on June 24, 2010

Pteranodon is the best! Look at this thing, it's like FLYING RUSTY SCISSORS coming to stab you. Also, SILENT P RERESENT
posted by oulipian at 11:36 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

archaeopteryx is a bird holmes
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 11:36 AM on June 24, 2010

This is the kind of standup that makes me happy. Not just the delivery, but the ease with which he engaged with the audience and adapted to the dinos they were throwing out. Sure, he can memorize them and have a bit of snappy patter ready for each one, but maintaining the slow build towards a climax? That's the kind of stuff that makes me think, "This is an art."

Best of the web indeed. Thanks!
posted by verb at 11:39 AM on June 24, 2010

Quetzalcoatlus is clearly the best pterosaur - 40ft wingspan! Largest animal ever to fly! Except maybe Hatzegopteryx.

It could totally eat you up and poop you as a pellet.
posted by Artw at 11:43 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

More videos here
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 11:47 AM on June 24, 2010

archaeopteryx is a bird holmes

Want to know a secret? They're all birds.
posted by The Bellman at 11:48 AM on June 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

This Dinosaur is Dumb.
posted by Smart Dalek at 11:49 AM on June 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

Artw: "Quetzalcoatlus is clearly the best pterosaur"

Eh... Quetzalcoatlus is pretty cool, but size can only take you so far. I think there's much more interesting-looking pterosaurs. Tupandactylus, for instance.
posted by brundlefly at 11:52 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Also, have I been wrong all these years or is he completely mangling the pronunciation of Deinonychus?
posted by The Bellman at 11:54 AM on June 24, 2010

Tsintaosaurus.
posted by homunculus at 11:54 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Clearly, he has never played Off Road Velociraptor Safari, because then he would know that Velociraptors are really good at starring in sandbox games as well as crazy Jeep related stunts. Although I guess those raptors are modelled after the Deinonychus. Whatever. That game like this video is awesome.
posted by edbles at 12:00 PM on June 24, 2010

Spoiler: ankylosaurus is his best dinosaur.

But could an ankylosaurus be trained to consistently win fights against a bear? It's probably too dumb to stand up to the number-one threat to America. How many six-year-olds would it take to take down an ankylosuarus?

Also, have I been wrong all these years or is he completely mangling the pronunciation of Deinonychus?

Arguably the correct pronunciation would be how either a modern Greek or ancient Greek would say that.

I'm pretty sure I've heard dino-ologists pronounce it as "dye-NONny-kuss" and "dye-noe-NYE-kuss."
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:04 PM on June 24, 2010

Oh, and Pterosaurs have fur now. Fucking scientists.

Yeah, dinosaurs just seem to get more rubbish... proper dinosaurs.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:04 PM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

They're all birds.

No, only the theropods are birds. At most, only the saurischians, and certainly not (ironically) the ornithischians.

tl;dr T-rex and deinonychus have umpty-great grandchildren flapping about. Ankylosaurus doesn't. Suck on that, Telfer.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:11 PM on June 24, 2010

This bit will be so much funnier when Carlos Mencia steals it.
posted by incessant at 12:12 PM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

MOVE TO TORONTO!
posted by bicyclefish at 12:14 PM on June 24, 2010

tl;dr T-rex and deinonychus have umpty-great grandchildren flapping about. Ankylosaurus doesn't. Suck on that, Telfer.

T-Rex would totally give this guy the middle finger, but, um...
posted by Artw at 12:17 PM on June 24, 2010

The always excellent aspecialthing Records put out an EP of Dan's opening set for Paul F. Tompkins called "Fossil Record." You can get it at their site as part of a 3-pack or individually on iTunes. Sorry for getting all comedy nerdy.
posted by lowrentkicker at 12:37 PM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Also, have I been wrong all these years or is he completely mangling the pronunciation of Deinonychus?
posted by The Bellman at 11:54 AM on June 24 [+] [!]

the way he's saying it is not how i learned it in the two undergrad dinosaur classes i took.

_{uh, for my science requirements!}
posted by johnnybeggs at 12:56 PM on June 24, 2010

Tierackasaurus is my favorite.
posted by orme at 12:57 PM on June 24, 2010

> this entire thread just failed the geek test.

Won the geek test, you mean. Won by awesomeness.
posted by ardgedee at 1:15 PM on June 24, 2010

I immediately thought "Ankylosaurus!" while watching the bit and listening to the audience throw out all of the cliched and played dinosaurs. I mean, it is just so cool, and though the Stegosaur has the thagomizer, I really don't think anything beats that super-sledge at the end of Anklyosaurus' tail. So I would have loved to have been there and yelled out "Ankylosaurus!" and watched how he reacted.

Of course it would also be fun to throw out "Iguanodon!" to see if he made any Fonzie jokes. Because I could totally make some Fonzie jokes about Iguanodon.
posted by m0nm0n at 1:25 PM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

It was a Camarasaurus skull, not a Stegosaurus! Jeez, everyone knows that.
posted by bettafish at 1:25 PM on June 24, 2010

Oh, and Troodon, btw. Traditional? Yes. Fucking awesome? Also yes.
posted by bettafish at 1:27 PM on June 24, 2010

Is anyone else reminded of a certain Dwight Schrute?
posted by Lisitasan at 1:31 PM on June 24, 2010

FALSE. Dwight Schrute’s are native to Scranton, PA not to Chicago, IL.
posted by edbles at 1:34 PM on June 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

For the record, my vote is for Parasauralophus.

Aw, man. I do like those dinosaurs, but I'll never be able to shake my anger at them for always fucking me up in EVO: The Search For Eden.
posted by Greg Nog at 1:53 PM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yeah, I got pretty miffed when he said that Stegosaurus had a second brain.
posted by yeti at 1:56 PM on June 24, 2010

Also, "raptors" is not a genus.

/done being a dork, no really
posted by brundlefly at 2:15 PM on June 24, 2010

"....and the Michael-Chrichton-fucking-up-the-velociraptor (seriously, it's a chicken, people)"

One of my biggest nightmares would be to be left completely helpless in a chicken coop. What an awful way to go.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 2:39 PM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm saving this for when I get home, but definitely stegosaurus, and runner up would be ankylosaurus. They're perfect. They just want to wander around and nibble on plants. If anyone has a problem with that, well, they've got some significant armor. If that's not enough, spikes (or a giant lump of bone). My kind of dinosaurs.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:16 PM on June 24, 2010

I'm sorry, I don't quite understand the reasoning behind not including Pteredon and Pterodactyl.

All dinosaurs are diapsid reptiles with an upright stance, and by definition Dinosauria consists of the groups Saurischia and Ornithischia, which excludes Pterosauria.

So, Pterosauria aren't dinosaurs because "dinosaur" doesn't include them. And I'm guessing they aren't included because they aren't really dinosaurs, post hoc.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:52 PM on June 24, 2010

Civil_Disobedient, as I understand it Sauricians and Ornithischians together shared a more recent ancestor than they did with Pterosaurs, therefore they are grouped together. They are all fairly closely related, being classified as archosaurs (along with crocodilians).

There are defining physical traits as well, but I don't know much about that. I vaguely remember something from my Dino class in college about an "elongate ischium and a perforate acetabulum," a phrase that stuck in my head for some reason. I'm only a paleo-fan, so if anybody knows better, please correct me.

Besides, we might wonder why we mammals are considered separate from our reptile ancestors. We divide these groups up to help us understand their relationships.
posted by brundlefly at 5:18 PM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm thinking, Yes, or maybe Led Zeppelin. Do they have to be extinct? Because maybe I choose Rush.
posted by clvrmnky at 5:28 PM on June 24, 2010

I vaguely remember something from my Dino class in college about an "elongate ischium and a perforate acetabulum," a phrase that stuck in my head for some reason.

This is the greatest sentence I have ever read.
posted by edbles at 7:44 PM on June 24, 2010

I gotta go with the Gwangi.
posted by DaddyNewt at 10:04 PM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

fossilized beans on a rough-hewn slate.
posted by amethysts at 10:15 PM on June 24, 2010

Ankylosaurus beats the T-Rex in Walking With Dinosaurs (I seem to remember)... so I would have totally said Ankylosauris (Well once all the obvious had been taken of course)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:51 AM on June 25, 2010