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Don't Let the Taco Win
June 25, 2010 1:58 PM   Subscribe

Eighteen years ago, 11 year old Randy Neuenfeldt raced Henry the Puffy Taco mascot of the San Antonio Missions minor league baseball team in the usual 7th inning race. Through a series of unfortunate events, the taco won. On June 24, 2010, Randy Neuenfeldt got his revenge. Also, here
posted by Leezie (36 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
Wow, I used to eat at Henry's Puffy Taco down the street from St. Mary's all the time. Great tacos.
posted by atchafalaya at 2:03 PM on June 25, 2010


Great Horrifying, greasy overpriced "tacos".
posted by Avenger at 2:05 PM on June 25, 2010


I'm feeling something here, it may be heartwarming inspiration that the arc of universe does bend towards justice (and righting the myriad humiliations of childhood), but mostly I think it's a mix of my own repressed childhood memories intermingled with a sudden desire for tacos.
posted by Panjandrum at 2:07 PM on June 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


Awww, i wanted a video of the kid crying over his loss to the taco! Booo!
posted by orme at 2:08 PM on June 25, 2010


This makes me AWWWW because I have kids, some of whom are near 11 years old and I'd really hate to see them hosed like that.
posted by jquinby at 2:10 PM on June 25, 2010


Wow, 18 years later and he still can't run worth a damn.
posted by Saxon Kane at 2:10 PM on June 25, 2010 [12 favorites]


"Randy purposely avoided Henry's Puffy Taco until he ironically enrolled at St. Mary's University"

I guess to be cool you have to do everything ironically.
posted by longsleeves at 2:15 PM on June 25, 2010 [5 favorites]


man, I'm normally mr detachment, but I actually threw my hands up and cheered without meaning to when he caught the taco.

what is this thing in my chest? it beats. it never used to.
posted by shmegegge at 2:26 PM on June 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


When the Puffy Taco was autopsied later, it was found to contain Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Nice to see you again, Randy.
posted by Kinbote at 2:27 PM on June 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


i think the only thing that coulda made me laugh harder about this, is if he'd lost against the taco the second time, too. bein' the losingest guy ever, against the puffy taco? oh man, that woulda been brilliant.

as it is, i've got tears of hilarity going on - thank you for this post, Leezie!
posted by lapolla at 2:29 PM on June 25, 2010


I am curious that the costumed jalapeno is the team's official mascot, but the taco is the "child-friendly" mascot. What is not-for-kids about a costumed jalapeno?

I cheered for Randy, but I fear he will be teased more about his victory than about his loss.
posted by TrarNoir at 2:30 PM on June 25, 2010


This pleases me. It's great that the kid was still around and was game for this. It's silly, but sweet.
posted by Put the kettle on at 2:31 PM on June 25, 2010


However, Randy purposely avoided Henry's Puffy Taco until he ironically enrolled at St. Mary's University.

This guy must be the ultimate hipster if he enrolls in a college ironically. Also, taken out of context, that blurb is fantastically hilarious.
posted by Dmenet at 2:34 PM on June 25, 2010 [5 favorites]


In the long run the taco will win when Randy suffers a massive coronary at the age of 44.
posted by BobbyDigital at 2:34 PM on June 25, 2010


I am curious that the costumed jalapeno is the team's official mascot, but the taco is the "child-friendly" mascot. What is not-for-kids about a costumed jalapeno?

Too phallic, perhaps?

Big, puffy taco-shaped characters, on the other hand? Fun for the whole family.
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:47 PM on June 25, 2010 [4 favorites]


ultimate hipster

Take a look at the video and there's no doubt he isn't a hipster.
posted by wcfields at 2:48 PM on June 25, 2010


(1) There is nothing child-friendly about a human-sized Puffy Taco. I think the flap of lettuce is the most suggestive part...

(2) The tackle/taunt at the end of the revenge video is a required part of every Puffy Taco race. There is seriously nothing funnier than a 7 or 8 year old kid tackling a full-grown mascot and putting a leg up like it's a hunting trophy.

(3) I feel really sorry for whichever high school girl has to play Henry. Ballapeno is a much more refined job - stroll around for the kids, maybe a little Cha-Cha Slide after the 3rd inning...
posted by muddgirl at 2:50 PM on June 25, 2010


A good MeFi friend of mine named his fantasy baseball team after the HPTs, and I swear to you the first time I heard that name I thought it was a very off-color joke. That this name and this mascot could become popular in strait-laced San Antonio goes a decent way to exploding some of my notions of the city.
posted by norm at 3:03 PM on June 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


I saw the puffy taco skydive into Mission's stadium when I was about 8.
posted by nitsuj at 3:04 PM on June 25, 2010


However, Randy purposely avoided Henry's Puffy Taco until he ironically enrolled at St. Mary's University (the same campus where he lost the race).

How does one "ironically" enroll in a university?
posted by dirigibleman at 3:08 PM on June 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


Has anyone made a joke about 'ironically' enrolling in college yet?

Damn.

I want a taco now. You have served your purpose Randy...
posted by pupdog at 3:39 PM on June 25, 2010


but the taco is the "child-friendly" mascot.

Because it is from whence children emerge into this world?

(Oh, come on. We've all been thinking it. It was time for us to stop beating around the bush and tell the vulva joke.)
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:53 PM on June 25, 2010 [3 favorites]


This is my kind of feel good story.
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:55 PM on June 25, 2010


But did the taco actually knock the kid down to win? Randy did not win the rematch, he cheated with some bad sportsmanship. I cry foul!
posted by bonefish at 4:19 PM on June 25, 2010


I think Randy is a little puffy himself. I guess he never ran again after the trauma of losing.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:11 PM on June 25, 2010


I think the flap of lettuce is the most suggestive part...

You understand that the birthing process does not actually involve a cabbage patch, right?
posted by Sys Rq at 5:46 PM on June 25, 2010 [3 favorites]


However, Randy purposely avoided Henry's Puffy Taco until he ironically enrolled at St. Mary's University.

Ironically enrolling in college is so last season. All the hipsters today are ironically getting their real estate licenses.
posted by mhum at 6:13 PM on June 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


wow! hooters girls, americanized gorditas, white-guy reliving childhood trauma in a baseball game. this feels like a michael bay movie with kevin costner in it but w/o the explosions.
posted by liza at 8:44 PM on June 25, 2010


I never considered tacos to be puffy, but now - I cannot stop. I. cannot. stop....

LOCKDOWN! GOODNIGHT YOU LOT!
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 8:51 PM on June 25, 2010


I was hoping for revenge like in the clown joke.
posted by educatedslacker at 9:25 PM on June 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


As a resident of San Antonio, I find it hard to believe that anyone would enroll at St. Mary's unironically. *ZING!*
posted by hapticactionnetwork at 9:42 PM on June 25, 2010


I never considered tacos to be puffy...

It's a central Texas thing. And trust me: they're glorious.
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:01 PM on June 25, 2010


Oh man, when he pushes that taco over - hilarious. I also would have liked a video of him getting beaten by the taco.
posted by fermezporte at 5:37 AM on June 26, 2010


The gloriousest of the glorious: Nopalitos in San Marcos.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 6:28 AM on June 26, 2010


A taco? Family-friendly? Some might not think so.
posted by tommasz at 10:09 AM on June 26, 2010


What is it about having the secondary/commercial minor league mascot being something vaguely suggestive? I went to a State College Spikes game last Saturday, and the second mascot of the Spikes is apparently the Nookie Monster.
posted by jefeweiss at 6:15 AM on June 27, 2010


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