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North Korea Is Best Korea
July 5, 2010 7:54 PM   Subscribe

The people of 4chan are at it again. They are now trying to hijack the voting for Justin Bieber's next touring destination. Their goal: to send him to North Korea. There are now almost half a million votes to send Bieber to the secretive communist nation.
posted by reenum (84 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
Omg. THE FIRST RULE...
posted by Threeway Handshake at 7:56 PM on July 5, 2010


Is there an option for him to not come back?
posted by unSane at 7:56 PM on July 5, 2010 [5 favorites]


Do your part. This is a 4chan initiative we can all support.
posted by killdevil at 7:59 PM on July 5, 2010 [5 favorites]


Are they going to allow into NK with syphilis?
posted by birdherder at 8:00 PM on July 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


A public vote on the Canadian singer's My World Tour page asked users which country he should tour next, with no restrictions on the nations that could be voted on.

Time for new PR people who, like, know a little more about how the intertubes work, Justin.
posted by availablelight at 8:01 PM on July 5, 2010


The real question: is Kim Jong Il a fan?
posted by zarq at 8:01 PM on July 5, 2010


Which candidate will 4chan be supporting for President in 2012? Tubgirl?
posted by b1tr0t at 8:03 PM on July 5, 2010


This sounds like the kind of thing the "Something Awful" guys would do.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 8:09 PM on July 5, 2010


Definitely Sarah Palin... wait, maybe she IS Tubgirl?
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:09 PM on July 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oh God! I just looked up Tubgirl. I have to go stick hot pokers in my eyes and cry myself to sleep now.
posted by reenum at 8:10 PM on July 5, 2010 [19 favorites]


Do your part. This is a 4chan initiative we can all support.

Indeed. I voted this morning. Take a side people.
posted by ob at 8:11 PM on July 5, 2010


Was Iraq unavailable?
posted by jonmc at 8:12 PM on July 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is exactly what is wrong with humanity, and exactly what is great about the internet.
posted by Huck500 at 8:13 PM on July 5, 2010 [11 favorites]


When North Korea wins, aren't Bieber's people just going to say "no"?
posted by danb at 8:14 PM on July 5, 2010 [4 favorites]


The people of 4chan

Something seems a bit off with this post. Can't quite put my finger on it.
posted by Ghidorah at 8:15 PM on July 5, 2010 [4 favorites]


When North Korea wins, aren't Bieber's people just going to say "no"?

Yes, but with any luck they'll name Bieber's treadmill after Kim Jong-Il.
posted by Wataki at 8:15 PM on July 5, 2010 [6 favorites]


I'm voting for Burma [*] and Ralph Nader.

* - Myanmar, currently in page 5.

posted by zippy at 8:21 PM on July 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


I didn't know until this post who Justin Bieber was. I don't think I ever even heard his name until now. I had heard of North Korea, however.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:24 PM on July 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


Now I know how the Tea Partiers feel about Obama. I mean, I kind of hate Justin Bieber, but at the age of 36 I'm so far out of the pop culture loop that I don't have any hard evidence to back up my prejudices.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:25 PM on July 5, 2010 [5 favorites]


Haven't the people of North Korea suffered enough?
posted by Justinian at 8:31 PM on July 5, 2010 [76 favorites]


This sounds like the kind of thing the "Something Awful" guys would do.

I'm trying not to blurt out some old meme like SA:Old&Busted:4Chan:NewHotness, as my brain has threatened to crawl down my spinal cord and choke me.

So, I -arur---URK
posted by cavalier at 8:37 PM on July 5, 2010 [3 favorites]


He should embrace it. This could be like the Billy Joel-USSR thing. If he survives.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:42 PM on July 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


I only found out who this guy is about a month ago. Pop might have sucked a lot back when I was, say, twelve, but FUCK it's gotten worse.

Remember when they used to play real rock music on top 40 stations?
posted by dunkadunc at 8:42 PM on July 5, 2010 [3 favorites]


When North Korea wins, aren't Bieber's people just going to say "no"?

Only if they think the voting was the result of a concerted prank so DON'T TELL ANYONE.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:45 PM on July 5, 2010 [8 favorites]


I'm not sure what the point of having tags is if this post's tags don't include "justinbieber" or "northkorea" or any variation thereof.
posted by aaronetc at 8:49 PM on July 5, 2010


4chan is a cool guy, he sends kids to koria and doesnt afraid of anything
posted by paisley henosis at 8:52 PM on July 5, 2010 [33 favorites]


I've been voting for three days now and we're still neck and neck with Israel. Man, those Israelis are TENACIOUS.
posted by signalnine at 8:53 PM on July 5, 2010 [3 favorites]


I'm pretty sure dropping Canadian pop stars on foreign countries is recognized as grounds for war in international law. Still probably worth doing.
posted by doctor_negative at 8:57 PM on July 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Aw, those cute 4chan kids. What, did trying to destroy youtube get boring?
posted by koeselitz at 8:57 PM on July 5, 2010


killdevil: “Do your part. This is a 4chan initiative we can all support.”

No such thing. 4chan is the enemy of the internet. I would prefer a world with dozens of Jason Biebers flooding the airwaves if 4chan and /b/ didn't exist.
posted by koeselitz at 8:59 PM on July 5, 2010 [7 favorites]


Oh come on. Even /v/?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:03 PM on July 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Don't they realize they're just feeding the fame engine?
posted by longsleeves at 9:04 PM on July 5, 2010


They're too busy FIGHTING SCIENTOLOGY to care.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:05 PM on July 5, 2010


This sets the stage for Celine Dion's War Crimes Tribunal, Den Haag 2014. Gonna be off tha hook!
posted by mannequito at 9:07 PM on July 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


Beiber is the cancer that is killing /b/ MOAR DESU!11 Sauce for great justice Anon delivers copypasta etc...

This sounds like the kind of thing the "Something Awful" guys would do.

There may be a wee bit of overlap.
posted by MikeMc at 9:08 PM on July 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


I can't stand 4chan on a micro level, but I usually am delighted by them on a macro level.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 9:22 PM on July 5, 2010 [24 favorites]


Definitely Sarah Palin... wait, maybe she IS Tubgirl?

Hey, that's not nice. Some people really like Sarah Palin.
posted by homunculus at 9:28 PM on July 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


There may be a wee bit of overlap.

No, all the Somethingawful guys are in their thirties now.
posted by killdevil at 9:28 PM on July 5, 2010


son, I am disappoint.
posted by Raqin at 10:01 PM on July 5, 2010


Look, Justin Bieber could function as an ambassador of Western culture to the totalitarian kingdom, I was finally there to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air.
posted by infinitewindow at 10:06 PM on July 5, 2010


No such thing. 4chan is the enemy of the internet. I would prefer a world with dozens of Jason Biebers flooding the airwaves if 4chan and /b/ didn't exist.

4chan and /b/ are fucking amazing. I'm not sure how anyone can deny their greatness. I say this, of course, as someone who never actually goes to the messageboards.

You see, 4chan and /b/ are kind of like the Sun. It's a terrible thing to stare at, but the warmth and energy it throws off makes life more tolerable. Much as the Sun turns a humble seed into a mighty oak, it turns a boring Safety Bear into a delightful Pedestrian Bear.

OK, really it's more like a sausage factory. Damn those meats taste good, but you don't want to know where they came from.
posted by explosion at 11:00 PM on July 5, 2010 [34 favorites]


Ha, ha.
posted by mattdidthat at 11:40 PM on July 5, 2010 [3 favorites]


Hey, that's not nice. Some people really like Sarah Palin

This must be a surprise to a proponent of concealed carry laws.

Is that a pistol down your pants or are you just glad to see me? Ah, no pistol.
posted by MuffinMan at 12:37 AM on July 6, 2010


I'm hoping he goes and the hungry audience pulls his soft little body apart and eats him raw. That is how a pop star should die. Feed the world.
posted by pracowity at 1:21 AM on July 6, 2010 [3 favorites]


I didn't know until this post who Justin Bieber was.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 12:24 PM on July 6 [2 favorites +] [!]

I've said this before, but I feel like Justin Bieber is like a big bad from Doctor Who, which suddenly appeared one day, and which everyone knows as if it has been around forever, but I know none of it is true, and I just keep walking around saying, "Something's wrong. Something's very wrong."
posted by gc at 1:25 AM on July 6, 2010 [25 favorites]


I would vote for North Korea but that would involve signing up with Twitter. Either way, the terroists win.
posted by GavinR at 1:35 AM on July 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


it turns a boring Safety Bear into a delightful Pedestrian Bear.

I see what you did there.
posted by Justinian at 2:27 AM on July 6, 2010


Hell, if it turns out anything like WCW Collision in Korea (just watch the intro for some lulz) it should be.. something.
posted by pyrex at 2:53 AM on July 6, 2010


Oh God! I just looked up Tubgirl. I have to go stick hot pokers in my eyes and cry myself to sleep now.


Every time someone sees Tubgirl for the first time, an angel gets its wings pulled off.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 2:54 AM on July 6, 2010 [6 favorites]


I've been voting for three days now and we're still neck and neck with Israel. Man, those Israelis are TENACIOUS.

Israelis? Sounds rather like the doings of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad...
posted by Skeptic at 4:40 AM on July 6, 2010


I'm hoping he goes and the hungry audience pulls his soft little body apart and eats him raw. That is how a pop star should die. Feed the world.

I call the head.

In for NoKo.
posted by Samizdata at 5:09 AM on July 6, 2010


Freakin' Israel lovers!

Kim Jong needs to be Illin'...
posted by Samizdata at 5:31 AM on July 6, 2010


Oh God! I just looked up Tubgirl. I have to go stick hot pokers in my eyes and cry myself to sleep now.

Any time you hear about something connected to 4chan and you don't now what it is, do not look it up.
posted by valkyryn at 5:40 AM on July 6, 2010 [15 favorites]


Or at least put a few spare pokers on the fire.
posted by pracowity at 5:46 AM on July 6, 2010


Val speaks wisely. Listen to the advice.

Learn it.
Live it.
Love it.
posted by Samizdata at 5:47 AM on July 6, 2010


I'm sure Kim Jong Il would happily welcome Justin Bieber into North Korea, if only because the singer would serve to make the diminutive dictator feel like a giant by comparison.

(Justin Bieber is very, very short, you see.)
posted by Sys Rq at 5:53 AM on July 6, 2010


I love it when nerds take the time to try and be cooler than tween girls. It's like when you use an RPG in a FPS and shoot the wall you are standing next to.
posted by srboisvert at 6:04 AM on July 6, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'm hoping he goes and the hungry audience pulls his soft little body apart and eats him raw. That is how a pop star should die. Feed the world.

You give a nation a pop star, and you feed it for a day. you teach a nation to sing pop songs and OH GOD THE KARAOKE
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:07 AM on July 6, 2010 [6 favorites]


I'd rather go to North Korea than Gaza.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:17 AM on July 6, 2010


Any time you hear about something connected to 4chan and you don't now what it is, do not look it up.

I don't know. For years I managed to avoid goatse. In my imagination it had grown into this hellish image of a gaping mouth into the bowels of hell. When I finally saw it, it was sort of .... meh.

I still haven't seen two girls one cup.... I'm afraid it's worse than my imagination.
posted by Pendragon at 7:03 AM on July 6, 2010


I feel like Justin Bieber is like a big bad from Doctor Who, which suddenly appeared one day, and which everyone knows as if it has been around forever, but I know none of it is true, and I just keep walking around saying, "Something's wrong. Something's very wrong."

So Justin Bieber is the Master? You're right. Something's wrong. Very, very Wrong.

I knew something like this would happen after the last John-Simm-with-bleached-hair-Master.
posted by threeturtles at 7:10 AM on July 6, 2010


In my imagination it had grown into this hellish image of a gaping mouth into the bowels of hell.

Well it's certainly an image of a gaping mouth into bowels, even if the gaping and the bowels are not themselves strictly "hellish".
posted by valkyryn at 7:14 AM on July 6, 2010


Is it just me or does Justin Bieber totally look like a penis?
posted by The Straightener at 7:24 AM on July 6, 2010


Why on earth did Bieber's people even make NK an option in their poll?
posted by Mavri at 7:26 AM on July 6, 2010


So this is not an official poll, correct? As I understand it, Bieber's people don't have anything to do with it and nothing will happen if/when NK wins.
posted by Gordafarin at 8:09 AM on July 6, 2010


doctor_negative : I'm pretty sure dropping Canadian pop stars on foreign countries is recognized as grounds for war in international law.

Sweet jesus, they weaponized Bieber? There are some things that just shouldn't have ever been made; land mines, white phosphorus explosives, and now this.

We may have finally gone too far. I not sure this is a brink we can walk back from and we may actually be witnessing the final days.
posted by quin at 8:25 AM on July 6, 2010


Is it just me or does Justin Bieber totally look like a penis?

I'll always see him as a ventriloquist's dummy.
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:40 AM on July 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


I hear if Justin Bieber does not honor the will of the people, Kim Jong-Il will arrange for him to be kidnapped. Now that's putting the old Juche Idea in to practice.
posted by Nelson at 8:46 AM on July 6, 2010


I am also given to understand that Miley Cyrus may be touring Antarctica soon.
posted by misha at 9:10 AM on July 6, 2010


Is it just me or does Justin Bieber totally look like a penis?
posted by The Straightener at 10:24 AM on July 6


no, he looks like a lesbian .
posted by liza at 9:32 AM on July 6, 2010


This kid will single-handedly cause North Korea to sign a peace treaty with South Korea.
Just you haters wait!
posted by Theta States at 9:36 AM on July 6, 2010


Remember when they used to play real rock music on top 40 stations?

Regardless of how old you are, the answer to this is always "when you were 17".
posted by Theta States at 9:38 AM on July 6, 2010 [7 favorites]


Say what you will about the regulars at 4chan, but this it too funny. He could perform for the North Koran soccer team before they are all shot for stinking it up at the World Cup.
posted by elder18 at 11:35 AM on July 6, 2010


Regardless of how old you are, the answer to this is always "when you were 17"

No, this was when I was 12. By the time I was 17 it was all fake Latin music, breathy wailing and "hip-hop" with lame rhymes, no rhythm and no melody.
posted by dunkadunc at 12:13 PM on July 6, 2010


I agree: I like getting 4chan memes second hand. I would never want to go directly to the site and, erghm, "harvest" them myself. Sun analogy works pretty well.
posted by codacorolla at 12:24 PM on July 6, 2010


I agree: I like getting 4chan memes second hand. I would never want to go directly to the site and, erghm, "harvest" them myself. Sun analogy works pretty well.

Encyclopedia Dramatica is a good place to get schooled up on some /b/ without actually going to 4chan. There are also a number of other "chan" sites that aren't quite so notorious and they also have /b/ boards.
posted by MikeMc at 2:12 PM on July 6, 2010


Encyclopedia Dramatica is seldom more bearable than 4chan itself, but the content tends to be more stable.

If you need a bit more distance, Urban Dictionary can be a bit safer to get quick info on a meme.
posted by Theta States at 2:27 PM on July 6, 2010


/b/IEBER?
posted by moss at 5:30 PM on July 6, 2010


If you need a bit more distance, Urban Dictionary can be a bit safer to get quick info on a meme.

What, no WhatPort80?
posted by dunkadunc at 6:16 PM on July 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


those Israelis are TENACIOUS

You don't say...
posted by WalterMitty at 1:14 AM on July 7, 2010


Contest over! NORTH KOREA WINS!
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:39 AM on July 7, 2010


Yeah, and it looks like North Korea got 659,141 votes in all, beating Israel by over 35,000 votes.

I think he'll go, honestly. The BBC has the North Korean embassy in London saying that Bieber's application for entry would be "dealt with", so it's not like the country has flat-out refused to host him. And it's a win-win for Bieber and North Korea, publicity wise.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:03 AM on July 7, 2010


Except that there's no real indication that the voting has anything at all to do with Bieber & his management.

His official website seems to be this one, and it looks like a professional kind of setup, not the dogsvomit throwback to geocities-era "design" that the vote was hosted on. There's absolutely no reason why an official vote would be hosted on a different site, anyway.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:42 AM on July 7, 2010


"Official" contest or not, he should totally do it. Sounds like the club scene is worth checking out.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:49 AM on July 7, 2010


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