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pour la furet a la mode
July 28, 2010 4:48 PM   Subscribe

Does your ferret need a beret? Well, have I got the product for you!!! source

Early reviews are mixed.
posted by granted (61 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
Now that you mention it, my ferray does need a bearit.
posted by mhoye at 4:51 PM on July 28, 2010 [14 favorites]


What's up with the broken JPEG? There has to be a backstory.
posted by dunkadunc at 4:55 PM on July 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


It no longer exists but my favorite bad dot-com was "Ferretstore.com" Nothing but everything for your ferret. Including Top Hat and Tails. The Ferret Beret was quite prominent
posted by JPD at 4:55 PM on July 28, 2010


I'm wearing one right now. The beret (not the ferret). I'm not telling you where.

And you people do know jessamyn's out running, don't you!
posted by cjorgensen at 4:58 PM on July 28, 2010


feh-ray
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 5:04 PM on July 28, 2010 [6 favorites]


JPD, The Ferret Store was bought by Drs. Foster and Smith several years ago. Marshall Ferrets, the huge ferret breeder, also sells lots of ferret costumes.

Personally, I don't approve of ferret clothes costumes. They hate even having a harness on (so that they can have a leash and go outside), and they're furry little living creatures, not dolls.
posted by dilettante at 5:09 PM on July 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


What's up with the broken JPEG? There has to be a backstory.

Maximum data transfer rate of a USB 2.0 cable = 480 megabytes per second.

Average jpeg data size from a 3 megapixel consumer camera = about 2 megabytes.

Average life expectancy of a USB cable in a home with ferrets = 0.0040 seconds.
posted by loquacious at 5:10 PM on July 28, 2010 [23 favorites]


the shipping weight is 1.4lbs -- this seems like a dangerously heavy load to place on a ferret head
posted by cubby at 5:10 PM on July 28, 2010 [4 favorites]


This really makes me want to pronounce ferret and beret so that they rhyme.
posted by substars at 5:16 PM on July 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


This is not without merit.
posted by aubilenon at 5:21 PM on July 28, 2010 [3 favorites]


The beret might scare it!
posted by Cold Lurkey at 5:22 PM on July 28, 2010


"this seems like a dangerously heavy load to place on a ferret head"

Most of it is the carved teak shipping container.
posted by Kevin Street at 5:23 PM on July 28, 2010


Is there a ferret barrette?
posted by cjorgensen at 5:23 PM on July 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


I am embarrassed to admit that I actually bought one of these once. Don't ask. I do not have a ferret.
posted by dorgla at 5:24 PM on July 28, 2010 [4 favorites]


Does it have a ferrite core?
posted by qvantamon at 5:26 PM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


I am quite happy the link didn't produce a hat on a penis. ..that which is generally expected on the Blue nowdays.
posted by shockingbluamp at 5:34 PM on July 28, 2010


...and then you'll have to teach it French and how to smoke Gauloise.
posted by binturong at 5:34 PM on July 28, 2010 [3 favorites]


Just don't give a ferret a beretta.
posted by sciurus at 5:40 PM on July 28, 2010 [4 favorites]


Busey will take two.
posted by homunculus at 5:42 PM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


I've had ferrets. Love the little guys. They don't need berets, though. Helmets, maybe.
posted by metagnathous at 5:45 PM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


Obligatory.
posted by zerobyproxy at 5:50 PM on July 28, 2010


I want to tell you right now that no matter what anyone says this is the Best of the Web. This, along with the pug who sings Batman. But not everyone can be expected to share the exquisite taste that we do, cherie.
posted by Jess the Mess at 5:54 PM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


Does your hamster need a fedora?
Does your guinea pig need a fez?
Does your gerbil need a sombrero?
Does your squirrel need a Tam O'Shanter?
posted by dephlogisticated at 5:54 PM on July 28, 2010 [4 favorites]


Dephlogisticated is a haberdasher on a quota.
posted by griphus at 6:00 PM on July 28, 2010 [3 favorites]


don't give a ferret a beretta
Nonsense. A ferret biretta would be charming.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:02 PM on July 28, 2010


I once knew a Mr. Ferret
who was a philosopher of highest merit
Up and down went his beret
While we trailed him through the streets of Calais
He told us of Plato
and the folly of Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Then I'd hold his hat
When he dove to chase the occasional rat
posted by Kevin Street at 6:04 PM on July 28, 2010 [3 favorites]


Does your squirrel need a Tam O'Shanter?

Only if he's going to appear on Canadian Tire money.
posted by GuyZero at 6:07 PM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


What's up with the broken JPEG? There has to be a backstory.

Iixnay onway ingingbray upway ethay okenbray ussianray eganographystay ogrampray, omradecay.
posted by sebastienbailard at 6:08 PM on July 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


"Does your ferret need a beret?"

No, but I have been looking for a coat for my stoat.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 6:16 PM on July 28, 2010 [5 favorites]


This'd make a great kids' book.

Does your ferret need a beret?
Does your badger need a badge?
Is your hyena much too hairy?
Does your goat need a garage?
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:22 PM on July 28, 2010 [10 favorites]


Needs more kitten mittens.
posted by nestor_makhno at 6:31 PM on July 28, 2010 [3 favorites]


How about a polecat pakul?
posted by gubo at 6:33 PM on July 28, 2010


in 1987 during the VERY FIRST season of the FOXTV network there was a show directed by Savage Steve Holland. he was very well known for BETTER OFF DEAD and ONE CRAZY SUMMER.

That show was about a teen spy (played by Jonathan Ward previously of of "Charles in Charge")

the only thing i remeber about that show is a gag that involved a ferret wearing a beret:



villain says I VANT AN OCEANGOING VESSEL!


the villain henchman holds up a ferret wearing a striped shirt and a beret and says "I TAUGHT YOU ZAY OCEANGOINK WEASEL!"

beans baxter
look it up in your wiksipediask.
posted by Hammond Rye at 6:37 PM on July 28, 2010


somehow I don't see crunchland favoriting this post.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:05 PM on July 28, 2010


Damn. My ferret would never ever sit still long enough to wear one of those. He wore his shirt literally exactly long enough for us to take one picture. I still want one.
posted by graymouser at 7:15 PM on July 28, 2010


Needs more kitten mittens.

and dog's togs
and cat's chaps
and rabbit's habits
and turtle girdles
and pet rock's smocks.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 7:17 PM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


wat
posted by jquinby at 7:35 PM on July 28, 2010


cockbonnets.com is available as of now, fyi.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:59 PM on July 28, 2010


Also, there's no need to mention other users who haven't even commented in this thread.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:59 PM on July 28, 2010


I had a ferret
I bought it a beret
But it could not bear it
This story in poem
Though it has no merit
I had to share it.

Deepest apologies to everyone who read it.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:22 PM on July 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


V IS FOR VERETTA
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:37 PM on July 28, 2010


Needs more kitten mittens.

They're spelled mittons!
posted by axiom at 8:37 PM on July 28, 2010


DOES YOUR STOAT NEED A COAT
DOES YOUR COATI NEED A DHOTI
YES THEY DO MR SHREW
NOW FETCH MY EASEL, MR WEASEL
posted by lalochezia at 8:45 PM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


Does your hamster need a fedora?
Does your guinea pig need a fez?
Does your gerbil need a sombrero?
Does your squirrel need a Tam O'Shanter?


My hamster needs a trillomancer
My guinea pig needs a kadigadigg
My gerbil needs a twhirbel
And my squirrel needs a prickapearl


Nothing but the best for my rodents!
posted by Skygazer at 9:27 PM on July 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


Metafilter makes so much more sense when I'm stoned.
posted by brennen at 10:13 PM on July 28, 2010


They're spelled kittons!

I forget what this thread is supposed to be about.
posted by twirlip at 10:42 PM on July 28, 2010


metafilter: would never ever sit still long enough to wear one of those
posted by liza at 10:59 PM on July 28, 2010


This ferret is complete.
posted by adamvasco at 2:25 AM on July 29, 2010


I never wanted a ferret until I realized I could make it wear a shirt that says CARPET SHARK.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:51 AM on July 29, 2010 [2 favorites]


Stoat in a Coat sounds like a great name for a very strong ale.
posted by tommasz at 6:59 AM on July 29, 2010


No, you're thinking of Stoat is a Coat.
posted by Evilspork at 7:19 AM on July 29, 2010


I'm getting a ferret just so I can dress him in this.

Next time a cop pulls me over, I'll tell him he'll need to speak with my lawyer, then hand him the ferret.
posted by orme at 7:38 AM on July 29, 2010 [3 favorites]


Berets or no, ferrets are the one animal I resent more than cats for their ability to sleep.

No animal who gets to have that much fun when awake should be allowed to sleep that peacefully. It's patently unfair to the rest of us.
posted by quin at 7:54 AM on July 29, 2010


Does your ferret need a beret?

No, but
My llamas need pajamas
My angora needs a fedora
My roach needs a cloche and
My apes need capes

My lories need zoris
My pig needs a wig
My gator needs a sweater and
Me eels need heels

My bee needs a Tee
My croc needs a smock
My vervet needs a cravat and
My ants need pants

My louse needs a blouse
My ocelot needs an ascot
My muskrat needs a jacket and
My frogs need clogs
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:04 AM on July 29, 2010 [5 favorites]


If you give a ferret a beret, he's going to want some wine...
posted by luvcraft at 8:39 AM on July 29, 2010 [2 favorites]


This is silly. I made my guinea pig Babette a beret out of an ear muff. And it was even better, because it was red.

Don't waste your money. Just look around you - I'm sure there are lots of potential ferret accessories right under your nose.
posted by Evangeline at 8:43 AM on July 29, 2010


I can't even keep any one of my ferrets in a harness long enough to convince The Lady to let me take them for a walk outside. Short of some crazy glue and a couple of well placed staples I can't see this staying on even the most docile ferret's head for any measurable amount of time.

Still, I think I'm going to try.
posted by Fezboy! at 9:13 AM on July 29, 2010


I suppose it'd be a copyright violation to adapt " If you give a mouse a cookie" into a ferret story. What a shame.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:54 AM on July 29, 2010


Don't dress your cat in an apron
Just 'cause he's learning to bake.

Don't put your horse in a nightgown
Just 'cause he can't stay awake.

Don't dress your snake in a muu-muu
Just 'cause he's off on a cruise.

Don't dress your whale in galoshes
If she really prefers overshoes.

A person ferret should wear what he wants to
And not just what other folks say.

A person ferret should do what he likes to -
A person's ferret's a person ferret that way.

With sincere apologies and gratitude (because they're awesome) to the original Free to Be You and Me cast and writers...
posted by needs more cowbell at 10:37 AM on July 29, 2010


Does your ferret need a beret?

No, but my rats need chaps.
posted by deborah at 12:30 AM on July 30, 2010


quin, this will probably cause you to have a stroke from envy. None of my current little gang sleeps like that, but I've had some that did in the past.
posted by dilettante at 5:44 PM on July 30, 2010


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