"How odd it must have been to be Stephen Holmes, unsuspecting Kanye West fan, who, after briefly tweeting his hero last week to ask him which brand of toothpaste he favours on his diamond teeth, was selected to be the sole person followed by the mercurial rapper.
In the week he has been on Twitter, West has gained 400,000 followers, roughly 399,999 of whom immediately got extremely annoyed that he hadn't picked them as the "chosen one". Coventry-based Holmes subsequently acquired about 1,600 new followers overnight, and has turned into a minor Twitter celebrity.
He noted, "I feel pressure to say amusing and witty tweets now," although maintains an endearing fondness for Lily Allen and Irn Bru, despite his unexpected celebrity hijacking. "Tweet strong young man, tweet strong," was Kanye's sage advice." posted by MuffinMan at 1:03 PM on August 3, 2010 [5 favorites]
I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuuugh
Sing it Kanye, we've all been there before. posted by Think_Long at 1:04 PM on August 3, 2010
The frequent updates about hangovers are surprisingly similar to my updates, but then he starts talking about Persian rugs and I remember that I'm not a famous hip-hop artist. posted by edbles at 1:04 PM on August 3, 2010
Such a simple concept, yet so rewarding. Just like Kanye (except for the rewarding part). posted by Slack-a-gogo at 1:05 PM on August 3, 2010 [2 favorites]
I am imagining a parallel universe where Kanye tweets nothing but variations on the phrase "Christ, what an asshole." posted by griphus at 1:06 PM on August 3, 2010 [3 favorites]
Kanye West's tweets are egocentric, whiny, and use a lot of exclamation points.
That description could apply to 90% of tweets in general ..... amirite?
Also, the New Yorker cartoons are entertaining, but the guy repeats several tweets twice. posted by blucevalo at 1:10 PM on August 3, 2010
I remember reading a SF story way back where people were getting diamond dental implants. So OMG WE LIVE IN FUTURE posted by Mister_A at 1:12 PM on August 3, 2010
Mister_A: I think that one of the Logan's Run sequels had a villain who had replaced his teeth with rubies; when he smiled it looked like his teeth were made from glowing blood. posted by Halloween Jack at 1:29 PM on August 3, 2010
Coventry-based Holmes subsequently acquired about 1,600 new followers overnight
Yeah, but 96% of those 1,600 are camgirls or "social-media entrepreneurial experts". posted by Ufez Jones at 1:36 PM on August 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
I LOLed but I didn't tweet about LOLing. I commented about LOLing on metafilter though, in a self-referential comment. posted by fuq at 1:41 PM on August 3, 2010
You don't get the rappers you want, you get the rappers you deserve. posted by milarepa at 1:42 PM on August 3, 2010 [8 favorites]
these are fucking awesome. posted by shmegegge at 1:42 PM on August 3, 2010
This is hilarious. If Kanye were to tweet, "Christ, what an asshole," the internet would collapse into a LOLs-ularity that would consume the universe. posted by brundlefly at 1:45 PM on August 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
Also, the New Yorker cartoons are entertaining, but the guy repeats several tweets twice.
Surprisingly, Kanye is kind of low-content all around for a guy who likes himself so much; about 178 tweets, some of which just point to his blog. I did one of these and it took me half an hour to find a decent tweet, a suitable cartoon, and the right font. posted by fairytale of los angeles at 1:47 PM on August 3, 2010
These are funnier than actual New Yorker cartoons. posted by shakespeherian at 1:48 PM on August 3, 2010
More Kanye-related brilliance: Aziz Ansari trying to predict what Kanye will tweet next:
Da cufflinks gotta look like BABY tigers! Who da fuck gonna have a full grown tiger as a cufflink?! Lol
Oh yeah, I also saw Kanye in person when I was doing a Met Opera event, and he's about four feet tall. Seriously. I'm pretty sure most toddlers are taller than Kanye. posted by fuq at 2:03 PM on August 3, 2010
Coventry-based Holmes subsequently acquired about 1,600 new followers overnight, and has turned into a minor Twitter celebrity.
He noted, "I feel pressure to say amusing and witty tweets now," although maintains an endearing fondness for Lily Allen and Irn Bru, despite his unexpected celebrity hijacking. "Tweet strong young man, tweet strong," was Kanye's sage advice."
I would say that Kanye West talent lies not so much in rapping or producing, but rather in being famous. Kanye West can be famous like no one's business. posted by codacorolla at 2:23 PM on August 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
Kanye West might be just what what I need to finally create a twitter account, just to follow him. I think twitter WAS made for him. posted by cavalier at 2:27 PM on August 3, 2010
Here are a few other ones not present above. posted by invitapriore at 2:55 PM on August 3, 2010
I just love this. posted by slogger at 2:55 PM on August 3, 2010
waaaaaaait a minute... this is a real one! posted by codacorolla at 3:08 PM on August 3, 2010
Budget Kanye West is better:
budget kanye tip #89: why pay for porterhouse steak when you can drink water out a fire hyrant and feel just as full
...
give me an hour or two. just got the Walgreens circular and they are murdering it with the swimwear. Don't front!!!! posted by mrgrimm at 3:16 PM on August 3, 2010
Really funny stuff. The oddity of the juxtapositioning is a gift that keeps giving. posted by bearwife at 3:23 PM on August 3, 2010
I LOLed but I didn't tweet about LOLing. I commented about LOLing on metafilter though, in a self-referential comment crossed out your comment and added:
I wish this asshole would drop off the face of the planet, I'm sick of hearing about him. posted by MaryDellamorte at 6:37 PM on August 3, 2010 [1 favorite]
Geez I love cartoons about New Yorker cartoons, but I really can't wait until there are cartoons about the cartoons about the New Yorker cartoons. posted by redsparkler at 7:00 PM on August 3, 2010
Also, the New Yorker cartoons are entertaining, but the guy repeats several tweets twice.
It's a hashtag, so isn't it actually crowdsourced? posted by dhartung at 7:29 PM on August 3, 2010
People who complain about Mr. West's music should listen to a pop station for about an hour. Trust me, when his songs come on it's a REVELATION from Bieber-y fluff. The man may be many things, but he's certainly a great pop producer. posted by haveanicesummer at 7:16 AM on August 4, 2010
Yo Kanye, Ima let you finish your tweetyorker comics but...
I just wanted to say that Dysfunctional Family Circus is still the greatest one panel comic mashup of all time... ALL TIME!
(sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry...) posted by lothar at 8:23 AM on August 4, 2010
Brilliant. Loved this. Thanks. posted by nickyskye at 8:37 AM on August 4, 2010
"People who complain about Mr. West's music should listen to a pop station for about an hour."
No.
Because then I'd have to complain about pop music too. Commercial radio is 49% shit and 50% commercials. I don't need that in my life and feel sorry for those who don't have any other options besides an iPod or silence.
Kanye West appears to be a self-centered asshole with money to burn. That's the persona he projects. If he really isn't an asshole, well, he sure has worked damn hard to make it appear that he is. Self-centered assholes occasionally make good music. But making good music doesn't automatically make being a self-centered asshole something I should forgive or put up with. posted by caution live frogs at 11:52 AM on August 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
Rockists go home and listen to your dinosaur rock on FLAC or whatever it is you do with your time. posted by codacorolla at 11:57 AM on August 4, 2010
People who complain about Mr. West's music should listen to a pop station for about an hour. Trust me, when his songs come on it's a REVELATION from Bieber-y fluff. The man may be many things, but he's certainly a great pop producer.
He flows like a desert. You're a producer. If you can't flow, punch that shit. Jesus. He's got the worst breath control. Every verse goes: line *GASP* line *GASP, etc.
And he basically just stole rza/ghostface's sound and dumbed it down. (All those Blueprint beats everyone loves? They were made for Ghostface, the real blueprint.) We lose Biggie and Big L and 2Pac (you know, people who could actually rhyme) and we're left with this self-absorbed twit. posted by milarepa at 5:15 PM on August 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
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posted by empath at 1:02 PM on August 3, 2010