Shaft in Space

August 10, 2010 3:23 AM

Could there have been plans for a "black Star Wars"-type film in the late '70s? Further details have emerged recently and now a trailer has been found for Blackstar Warrior.
posted by fearfulsymmetry (38 comments total)

please let this be real
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 3:42 AM on August 10, 2010

So why isn't Darth Vader white in these clips?
posted by three blind mice at 3:44 AM on August 10, 2010 [2 favorites]

Favorite quote: "Get between this brother and his woman, and space ain't black enough to hide from him."
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 3:55 AM on August 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

The Old Spice marketing people have totally gone off the rails.
posted by jbickers at 4:02 AM on August 10, 2010 [3 favorites]

It's obviously not real, come on people.

The trailer was pretty funny, but the fake 'documentary' bits were cringe-worthy.
posted by delmoi at 4:07 AM on August 10, 2010

NUBIAN GOD
posted by Electric Dragon at 4:09 AM on August 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

please let this be real

The posting date of April 1, 2010 makes me skeptical
doubtful
sad


I want this to be real too.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:11 AM on August 10, 2010

The trailer was pretty funny, but the fake 'documentary' bits were cringe-worthy.

I wanted to slap that narrator right in the voice.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:12 AM on August 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

I've never seen somebody do a Harrison Ford impersonation before. That was a pretty good one.
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:21 AM on August 10, 2010

Shaft gets shot at the end.
posted by Mblue at 4:28 AM on August 10, 2010

I've never seen somebody do a Harrison Ford impersonation before. That was a pretty good one.

I liked the part where you made two obviously false statements in a row.
posted by DU at 4:28 AM on August 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

They say this cat Lando is a bad mother-
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:33 AM on August 10, 2010 [7 favorites]

Shut your mouth!
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:55 AM on August 10, 2010 [10 favorites]

But he was just talking about Lando!
posted by jquinby at 4:59 AM on August 10, 2010 [10 favorites]

Though I am a fan of both the original Star Wars Trilogy and the "blacksploitation" genre, I'm affraid I'm going to have to go with the minority, dissenting opinion here and say that sucked.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 5:00 AM on August 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

and to think that Tiffany Pollard still can't find work....
posted by Thomas Tallis is my Homeboy at 5:13 AM on August 10, 2010

NUBIAN GOD

Man, I need to throw Chasing Amy back in my queue....
posted by cavalier at 5:25 AM on August 10, 2010

What's a Nubian?
posted by Pallas Athena at 5:45 AM on August 10, 2010

Twenty dollars, same as in town.

sorry
posted by yhbc at 5:58 AM on August 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

Not much, what's a nubian with you?
posted by Rock Steady at 5:59 AM on August 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

Also, it was worth it for the line "He'll be all over me like stink on a Wookiee! No offense, Chewie."
posted by Rock Steady at 6:00 AM on August 10, 2010

Note: Nubian is not the same as Nuwaubian, though the latter may be much more related to the Science Fiction genre.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 6:03 AM on August 10, 2010 [2 favorites]

I was hoping that Vader was played by Bootsy Collins and, thus played a mean bass. Then we find out that Calrissian was the original funky drummer. The final fight scene was a funk-off.
posted by ob at 6:26 AM on August 10, 2010

I thought the Vader impression was very good. They got someone with a genuinely low voice and did the appropriate sound processing. Usually when you hear someone trying to do Vader (like you do) they just sound like a normal guy talking in a DEEP VOICE: "I've been waiting for you Obi-wan..." (Though I'm getting over a cold, and my Vader sounds exceptionally good right now).
posted by Palquito at 6:36 AM on August 10, 2010 [2 favorites]

Nice use of the Wilhelm Scream (around 2:38 in the "preview").
posted by dhens at 6:47 AM on August 10, 2010 [3 favorites]

How much more black could this be? The answer is none. None more black.
posted by killdevil at 7:08 AM on August 10, 2010 [4 favorites]

Shaft shot first.
posted by Kattullus at 7:17 AM on August 10, 2010

"Come and get me the hell out of here!"

Genius.
posted by griphus at 7:38 AM on August 10, 2010

Man, this looks better than Black Frasier.
posted by electroboy at 8:15 AM on August 10, 2010

I meekly wait and worry not
For the black starliner shall come
posted by BitterOldPunk at 8:59 AM on August 10, 2010

Huh, I was just listening to Spike's Usteam last night about the "No Black People In Space" thing and the similar "Space Is THe Middle East" thing.

I'm still waiting for Kreider's blaxospolation-hicksexplotation crossover in which gangsters and rednecks fight zombies ...

BLACK AND WHITE AND DEAD ALL OVER!
posted by The Whelk at 9:02 AM on August 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm still waiting for Kreider's blaxospolation-hicksexplotation crossover in which gangsters and rednecks fight zombies ...

I think this is a brilliant idea, easily pitched and marketed, a perfect low-budget, high-return picture, and I'm amazed that it hasn't been done already.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:20 AM on August 10, 2010

Funny, 'cause I totally thought there already was a movie like that. Just a wonderful, crazy dream, I guess.

As for this: I've watched BLACK DYNAMITE, I have both the soundtrack records, and as far as I'm concerned it is the best 'throwback' flick I've ever seen*. This is no BLACK DYNAMITE.

* technically, stylistically**, and in use of timeline-based irony

** Kung who? KUNG FU!
posted by jtron at 10:09 AM on August 10, 2010

BitterOldPunk: For the black starliner shall come

Thanks, BitterOldPunk! That's a great song.
posted by Kattullus at 11:53 AM on August 10, 2010

I didn't watch it. Is the other side of the Force the "light side"?
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 12:29 PM on August 10, 2010

*dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun*

SHAFT! Ah-ahhhhhhh!


"Your Majesty, we, the people of Ardentia, have suffered since you blasted our kingdom. l can offer you nothing except my loyalty."

"Prince Thun, we prize nothing more highly. And how great is this loyalty?"

"Without measure."

"We are delighted to hear it. Fall on your sword."

"DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK I HEARD YOU SAID, MOTHERFUCKER?"
posted by obiwanwasabi at 2:13 PM on August 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

I can't be the only person who was waiting for Lando to jump around a corner on Vader and shout, "SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!"...can I?

They had me at the girls in the midriff-baring Stormtrooper suits. As usual.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:57 PM on August 10, 2010

This is the thing that gets me about the Star Wars universe. So many people are excited about it. There could be so many great stories set in it. And what do we get? JarJar Binks, and Darth Vader Jr winning a pod race.
posted by Joe in Australia at 10:25 PM on August 10, 2010 [2 favorites]