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The flash fiction of Warren Ellis
August 17, 2010 12:11 PM   Subscribe

Gifts from The King of the Internet. Observe, Falconer; the great consulting detective and pervert. His early years as a male prostitute had quite ruined his spine, although they'd also gifted him with his sharp senses and preternaturally strong tongue. Consider also, Cathcart Zen; chemical atrocity and monument to manhood.

These links are NSFW if people will be reading over your shoulder.

Falconer:
Falconer
The Return of Falconer
Springtime for Falconer
Falconer in Love
The Joy of Falconer
Falconer Forever
A Little Light Falconer

Cathcart Zen
The Memoirs Of Cathcart Zen
The Many Wives Of Cathcart Zen
The Politics Of Cathcart Zen
The Rock Of Cathcart Zen
The Dinner Of Cathcart Zen

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

33 Degrees:
1: Jack Baby
2: Out of Circulation
3: FU tube
4: The Three Laws of Robotics
5: Tech Support

On Pause:
On pause (1)
On pause (2)
On pause (3)
On pause (4)
On pause (5)

Submunitions:
060606
Storm Clouds Gather Round
The Thought That Counts
The Evil Of Television
There's That Goddamn Sun Again
Stabbity Jones
Breathe With Me
July 4
Love In The Time Of Elective Medical Procedure
posted by Lorc (13 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite

 
Metafilter: a pure beam of blistering Fuckpower
posted by The Whelk at 12:18 PM on August 17, 2010


I love the story about pegging Second Life currency to the amount of power it takes to generate an avatar for a year.
posted by infinitewindow at 1:30 PM on August 17, 2010


You're missing the genius that is Mister Ramp. At least, I think so, didn't check all of those entries carefully.
posted by thecustodian at 1:45 PM on August 17, 2010


I am indeed! Both in the post and in my experience - thank you for the correction.
posted by Lorc at 2:06 PM on August 17, 2010


So he's well in the phase of his career where he's parodying himself? Um, thanks for the update.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:08 PM on August 17, 2010


No discussion of Ellis' genius short fiction is complete without EDISON HATE FUTURE. I still await the button.
posted by phearlez at 2:14 PM on August 17, 2010


EDISON HATE FUTURE

Edison was really, really opposed to the idea of using phonographs for music. He thought it trivialized the device, which should be used in Offices to take dictation or to record the Great Speeches of our most learned and august figures. If I recall he relented when someone told him they'd only record the most amazing, most seminal performances of truly Great music, not clanking music-hall ditties.

So yah, I think Edison would hate the future.
posted by The Whelk at 2:18 PM on August 17, 2010


For those who like Mister Ramp, he was once illustrated. Heh.
posted by thecustodian at 2:25 PM on August 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


For those who like Mister Ramp, he was once illustrated. Heh.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, WARREN, ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING MULLETS.
posted by shmegegge at 3:03 PM on August 17, 2010


For those who like Mister Ramp, he was once illustrated. Heh.

NSFW (if you are in the automotive industry)
posted by sebastienbailard at 4:30 PM on August 17, 2010


Well, shit, if we're playing, "Let's put the best first paragraph of a story we'll never finish on the internet somplace," here's my entry:

Station Security was not having a good night. A new spacefaring race had docked, and it was nothing but trouble.
"It's shooting what at us?"
"Dense metals, lead wrapped in copper."
"In, like, an ion stream?"
"No, almost ten grams at a time, at an extrapolated 650 or so times a minute."
"Dude, that's nuts. Ain't no kinda ray can do that!"
"Hostile's using chemical accelerants to propel solid chunks of that metal crap at us."
"He's setting off explosions? Six hundred and fifty fucking times a minute?"
"I know, it's crazy. He's blowing it all up centimeters from his goddamn face! Hostile's a binocular primate-pattern animate, so he has to look down the length of his blow-shit-up-to-fling-metal device to aim it. We think he's guesstimating the parabolic arc."
"Well, that explains why we aren't all dead. Yet. Doesn't he realize this is a pressurized environment?"
"We get the impression these "Humans" aren't too hinged."
"OK. Seargeant!"
"Oi!" replied a thing with whip-tentacles ten meters long.
"On my mark, offer surrender!"
"Aye, sir! Surrender, sir!"
"Try not to sound that pissed off when you do it," snarled the little fuzzy-tailed thing.
"Aye, Lieutenant, sarcasm at a manageable, sir!"
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:00 PM on August 17, 2010 [6 favorites]


My favourite thing from this thread is discovering that Ellis's diepunyhumans.com is now apparently a German gossip site that is, allegedly, still written by him.
posted by Hartster at 8:24 AM on August 18, 2010


Cathcart Zen stories were the source of my most obscene AIM away messages in college.
posted by Tesseractive at 10:11 AM on August 18, 2010


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