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December 9, 2010 7:48 PM   Subscribe

The woman you'd love your woman to be like. (SLthe sun: page 3YT)
posted by cthuljew (87 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
The Sun is as classy as always.
posted by jb at 7:50 PM on December 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


A play on the old spice commercials, in case someone didn't know.
posted by Quack at 7:53 PM on December 9, 2010


Fairly poor parody. The delivery was all wrong.
posted by axiom at 7:54 PM on December 9, 2010 [6 favorites]


That was shit.
posted by dubitable at 7:56 PM on December 9, 2010 [8 favorites]


I had to rewatch the original Old Spice ad immediately afterwards to get the taste of how lame that was out of my mouth.
posted by 256 at 7:57 PM on December 9, 2010 [7 favorites]


This is like the platonic ideal of Poorly Done
posted by Greg Nog at 7:59 PM on December 9, 2010 [48 favorites]


I thought that said SLthe hun. Heh.
posted by preparat at 8:00 PM on December 9, 2010


OMG the tickets to the match became beers is there anything computers can't do
posted by fungible at 8:01 PM on December 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


The old spice ad was a parody of "perfection", joking about how if a woman can't have a model, at least she can have a man who smells like him. (Also like my dad.)

This ad suggests that if your woman isn't perfect, the solution isn't to get her perfume, but to look at more pron. Not exactly the best advice for relationships.
posted by jb at 8:03 PM on December 9, 2010 [11 favorites]


Um, no I don't. Not even close.
posted by makabampow at 8:03 PM on December 9, 2010


I don't actually own any women.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:05 PM on December 9, 2010 [41 favorites]


The cascade of insights provided by the respectable lady will no doubt be overshadowed by the shill nature of those who have manipulated her for trivial gains.
posted by moonbird at 8:05 PM on December 9, 2010


I don't think the target audience care about the quality of the parody.
posted by KokuRyu at 8:06 PM on December 9, 2010 [2 favorites]


"I'm on a car."?
posted by fartknocker at 8:13 PM on December 9, 2010 [2 favorites]


The quality of the pair o' D is just fine.
posted by Balonious Assault at 8:13 PM on December 9, 2010 [4 favorites]


Why?
posted by Miko at 8:13 PM on December 9, 2010


Hey honey, I tried to get into the match with those beers you gave me

Didn't work
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:13 PM on December 9, 2010 [3 favorites]


Not even I want to meet that lady.
posted by hermitosis at 8:14 PM on December 9, 2010 [7 favorites]


Yeah, the delivery of that was all wrong.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:15 PM on December 9, 2010


I'm not entirely sure how I ended up reading this (NSFW) Hungarian blog post about this parody, but I enjoyed the translated summary: The latest film in The Sun magazine, which at last produced the original film version of the female, thus obtaining a great joy to all men.

Also, the comments are about what you would expect from what appears to be the Hungarian version of Maxim.
posted by joedan at 8:16 PM on December 9, 2010 [2 favorites]


I may be desperate and have a cripplingly low sense of self-esteem, but not even this would make me buy The Sun.

Keep trying, though.
posted by Capt. Renault at 8:17 PM on December 9, 2010 [4 favorites]


By the way, a far superior version of this joke was done in Bloom County, with Binky's dad imagining his ideal remarriage.
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:21 PM on December 9, 2010 [4 favorites]


My eyes weren't looking where they should, guess I'm conservative or a woman or something.
posted by eegphalanges at 8:29 PM on December 9, 2010 [2 favorites]


The monkey talking at the end said it all.
posted by wv kay in ga at 8:29 PM on December 9, 2010


I know, the monkey really wasn't talking, but you know what I mean.
posted by wv kay in ga at 8:30 PM on December 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


wow. 29 days after this went live you found it.
posted by krautland at 8:31 PM on December 9, 2010


She's no Grover.
posted by Georgina at 8:38 PM on December 9, 2010 [11 favorites]


BinkLEy, dammit.
posted by elizardbits at 8:38 PM on December 9, 2010 [2 favorites]


Your link is bad and you should feel bad.
posted by boo_radley at 8:47 PM on December 9, 2010 [5 favorites]


The original is so good that any parody is doomed to fail. Considering that, I thought it was funny-ish. They should have found a girl with a more aggressive attitude... and that was better at reading lines. But, you know, a valiant attempt. I'd give it 2.5 stars. Out of 5.
posted by falameufilho at 8:47 PM on December 9, 2010 [3 favorites]


Just a NSFW is fine. In fact, it's better than references to page 3 of The Sun which didn't hit my conscious mind until the video started playing. I'm at work, btw, with people hovering around.

Keep it simple, people.
posted by zardoz at 8:52 PM on December 9, 2010


I liked looking at the naked lady and all, but this really isn't a great metafilter post b
posted by empath at 8:53 PM on December 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


The main reason this doesn't work for me is that 99% of popular media already conveys the message "Gosh, wouldn't women be so much better if they were thin and beautiful and naked and catered to all of your [stereotypically heterosexual male] desires?" In other words, there is nothing satirical or subversive about this -- it merely undoes the satire of the Old Spice ads, yielding yet another tiresome cliché.

I mean, I guess at least she isn't a robot.
posted by pluckemin at 8:54 PM on December 9, 2010 [30 favorites]


1. Commanding, high energy delivery replaced by wishy-washy, this-is-the-57th-take delivery.

2. The exact same jokes we've seen a thousand times. No interesting changes, just one-to-one substitution. Parody is funny, repetition isn't.

3. The key joke, the one that was the premise of the original ad, is missing. The Sun isn't supposed to make 'your lady' more desirable; it's supposed to make you more fascist.

but mostly...

4. Turns out when you take cheeky add that subverts gender norms by objectifying men, and switch it back so you're objectifying women, it isn't funny any more... just creepy. Who knew?

Oh, and lady in the ad? You're very pretty, but my wife is even prettier, so there!
posted by Dreadnought at 8:59 PM on December 9, 2010 [10 favorites]


Do we all agree that the original ad is one of the best ads of all time? I mean it has to be up there with 1984 and, uh some other famous ads. The kid with the football jersey?
posted by empath at 8:59 PM on December 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


She wasn't a robot? Uncanny valley!!
posted by kneecapped at 8:59 PM on December 9, 2010 [2 favorites]


Just a NSFW is fine.

No, presuming that all links may be NSFW, regardless of whether they are marked as such, is how you keep it simple.
posted by hermitosis at 9:13 PM on December 9, 2010 [3 favorites]


Dreadnought - I've met your wife. She's nice, but she isn't prettier. You really need to get your vision checked.

Oh, and don't forget to pick up milk on the way home, dear.
posted by jb at 9:24 PM on December 9, 2010 [15 favorites]


Tits! It's What Brits Crave!

It's pretty amazing that the newspaper manages to get churned out every day considering the fact that not one staff member was successful in understanding why the Old Spice commercials worked so well. I'd be outraged by the rampant misogyny, but I'm too busy amusing myself by projecting an Idiocracy style workplace environment. Big mashable buttons and all.
posted by saturnine at 9:30 PM on December 9, 2010


The car looks like a cheap knock-off of a Porsche or something, and those beers look like cut-rate brands.

Also, the woman was nowhere near as attractive as Isiah Mustafa.
posted by qcubed at 9:42 PM on December 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


>> The woman you'd love your woman to be like.

Uh, yep, but only about four times a week for a couple of hours at a shot. Other than that, she'd need an off switch, or, better yet, a job.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 9:49 PM on December 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


OK, one redeeming moment: "Look down. What's that in your hands?"

Other than that, fail fail failfailfail.
posted by IAmBroom at 9:56 PM on December 9, 2010


Delivery's not the problem, it's concept. Part of the reason Old Spice Guy is funny is that he turns expectation on its head: men aren't supposed to be lusted over, men are supposed to be slightly overweight dorks who hot women love regardless. And it's OK for a woman to think her man is a slightly overweight dork, she doesn't have to feel bad about that. But this ad doesn't challenge expectation because women are already supposed to be the object of desire, which is why Sarah Silverman picking her nose on TV is hilarious.

A gender-flipped parody should show a woman who changes oil, grills a steak, fixes the plumbing, plays electric guitar, pops open a beer (without offering you one), and paints her face for a football game. She has to be hot, but not stripper hot, since that would spill over from playful into creepy. Now look at your girl, now look at me....
posted by miyabo at 10:30 PM on December 9, 2010 [13 favorites]


Such a weak and tired parody that I can't even work up a decent feminist outrage. "Old-fashioned dudes use tired 'humour' to sell product" isn't a great post for Metafilter.
posted by harriet vane at 10:33 PM on December 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


Also, the comments are about what you would expect from what appears to be the Hungarian version of Maxim.

joedan, I think you may have discovered the only way in which those kinds of comments are stomachable: automated translation!

I would go to her breasts chick:) Anyway, good advertising, no nothing wrong with it ...
posted by ignignokt at 10:33 PM on December 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


Pushy Pandas (expectation) vs. Never say no to Panda. (turned on head)
posted by peppito at 10:36 PM on December 9, 2010


A gender-flipped parody should show a woman who changes oil, grills a steak, fixes the plumbing, plays electric guitar, pops open a beer (without offering you one), and paints her face for a football game. She has to be hot, but not stripper hot, since that would spill over from playful into creepy.

This, exactly. Merely substituting a regular Page 3 girl, who can barely read the tired cliches on the cue cards and has all the charisma of a peeled-off beer label, is so many miles off-base that it somehow can't even be called parody. This literally could have been scripted by children -- not because it's puerile in terms of hee hee, tits!, but because it's so pathetically unsophisticated as both advertising and satire. It literally misses every salient point about what made the Old Spice ads so clever and effective.
posted by scody at 11:08 PM on December 9, 2010 [5 favorites]


men aren't supposed to be lusted over, men are supposed to be slightly overweight dorks who hot women love regardless.


See, sometimes women are slightly overweight dorks that hot men love regardless.

That's not so much a humorous reversal of expectation as it is the truth of the world. 'Cause dorky broads kick ass. AMIRITE? *high fives fellow dorks*
posted by louche mustachio at 11:31 PM on December 9, 2010 [5 favorites]


God, just this morning I was freaking out, because I really needed to ogle at some women in print form, and I was there at the newsstand, and I just didn't know where to turn, you know? I mean, obviously that's the sort of thing that you'd need to buy in dead-tree form - the internet just hasn't been able to step up - but neither had the newspapers and magazines! And it wasn't like I could just ask the guy running the stand either. He doesn't want to hear about my strange proclivities for something so out-of-the-mainstream as objectified women. What was I to do?

Anyway, then this ad came along, and now I know about The Sun's page 3. It wasn't soon enough to save my day today, but it looks like it can save a thousand tomorrows.

Seriously though, Playboy's facing collapse and this is what The Sun expects will save it? Good riddance.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:31 PM on December 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


In defense of the Sun's journalistic standards I must say that they look real.
posted by 3mendo at 11:37 PM on December 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


I guess perhaps the Sun aimed this at their readership? That might explain why it is the way it is.
posted by Solomon at 12:21 AM on December 10, 2010


To be honest, I totally would if I could, but I can't so I won't.
posted by chillmost at 12:35 AM on December 10, 2010


If nothing else, this ad led me to see this one, which made me chuckle.
posted by moonbiter at 2:22 AM on December 10, 2010 [3 favorites]


A brief guide to Page 3. Amazingly, these days Page 3 Girls are far less about their norks and more about how to solve the pressing political issues of the day.
posted by MuffinMan at 2:38 AM on December 10, 2010


pluckemin : The main reason this doesn't work for me is that 99% of popular media already conveys the message "Gosh, wouldn't women be so much better if they were thin and beautiful and naked and catered to all of your [stereotypically heterosexual male] desires?"

Well, except not thin and not naked. And although others have pointed out that the parody didn't work so well, I took the catering-to-guys angle as a deliberate series of fails (coconuts? cheap beer? "I'm on a... CAaar"? Can't read a frickin' teleprompter???).


zardoz : Just a NSFW is fine.

Unless you all went to a different link than I did, I saw nothing you couldn't see on primetime TV (in fact, it pretty much looked like a low quality beer commercial).


Navelgazer : Seriously though, Playboy's facing collapse and this is what The Sun expects will save it? Good riddance.

Playboy has made the mistake of considering itself serious literature. And while it has historically had some of the world's best authors contributing to it, no one really "buys it for the articles"; unfortunately for Hef, no one buys old-school porn anymore, period, for one simple reason - For less than the price of one playboy, you can get a monthly pass to any of thousands of sites that will cater to exactly your particular set of preferences and kinks. Who goes for a cheap magazine with only three or four Barbie dolls in unarousingly-stereotypical poses, given the alternatives?
posted by pla at 3:39 AM on December 10, 2010


Come on people, the original ad did not subvert gender norms. It was clever, yes, but not progressive. And can we stop with the comments on how this woman must be stupid? In the rush to explain why this is not okay quite a few people are assuming that she must be an idiot, which actually seems more sexist to me than anything in the actual ad.
posted by Nothing at 4:15 AM on December 10, 2010 [5 favorites]


Would the sun still be the sun if it started to knowingly poke fun at masculinity a la old spice? My guess is no, so to judge this video by the criteria of parody will lead you down a rabbit hole, it's not about cleverly reinterpreting the original it's about exploiting the recognition of the format to deliver jokes that won't alienate the audience. Or were you expecting the sun to be a revolutionary force for masculinity? If anything, the fact that the new version pisses off non sun readers who can't handle 'a bit of fun' only serves to underscore its appeal to virile masculinity in a 'look at these fellas, there's a hot girl showing off her melons and all they can talk about is whether the joke is funny or not" sorta way.
posted by doobiedoo at 4:44 AM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


"...there's a hot girl showing off her melons and all they can talk about is whether the joke is funny or not" sorta way."

Wait. There were melons? I only saw a couple of coconuts.
posted by Floydd at 5:20 AM on December 10, 2010


Adding comments has been disabled for this video.

You don't say.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:31 AM on December 10, 2010


Come on people, the original ad did not subvert gender norms.

The original one didn't explicitly subvert gender or advertising norms, put used satire to stress the insanity of those norms being pushed on us; most ads are weirdly commanding, and depend on making you think that perhaps the product could help you-the-viewer fit into a normative ideal (often of gender, class, taste, etc). The Old Spice ad, by keeping to a kind of manic over-the-top-Svengali pace, highlighted the absurdity of that very advertising approach.

Isiah telling the lady viewer "two tickets to that THING you love" is patently absurd; no woman, watching that ad, will say, "Oh, wow! That thing I love! I feel like this ad really speaks to me!" The very non-specifity of "That THING" is the joke in that particular moment. Rosie, on the other hand, has "Two VIP tickets to that match you have to see." The Sun assumes that men naturally want to see a sporting match, and tries to play that up, not realizing that the joke in the original is a commercial pretending to appeal to a thing the viewer might like (a thing which is highlighted by the original commercial as "fake" by its very lack of details). It's a little like watching Galaxy Quest, nodding and vaguely understanding that people liked it for some reason, and then going on to make Star Trek: Enterprise.

Or again: in the original, Isiah's towel is whisked away, like a standard striptease, except that underneath, he's wearing white boaty shorts. The point of a striptease is to up the titillation as time goes on, but the Old Spice commercial plays with that salacious expectation by just throwing in a different outift. And then finally throwing dude on a horse. The commercial is highlighting its own constructedness as a thing that has perhaps been put together by a lunatic child playing with her Ken doll. It is not meant to titillate so much as show ineptitude. Rosie, on the other hand, has her towel whisked away in order to show more leg -- a standard striptease, not a satire at all. And then she gets put on the kind of shiny red car that men are stereotypically "supposed" to like.

The Sun's commercial doesn't play with expectations -- it reinforces them. It doesn't get that the original Old Spice commercial uses satire to highlight the absurdity of media normativity. Which is what makes this Sun ad so utterly fascinating to me; it means that somewhere, in a small room, some marketers watched the original Old Spice commercial and said, "OH ALL RIGHT YEH THAT'S WHAT WOMEN LIKE NOW HOWS ABOUT WE DO ONE FOR THE LADS" Merely thinking about those marketers in that room is sadder than the entirety of Flowers For Algernon.

And can we stop with the comments on how this woman must be stupid?

dogg she speaks with the human inflections of a fish wrapped in newspaper
posted by Greg Nog at 5:42 AM on December 10, 2010 [43 favorites]


As someone who is constantly frustrated by the English football ticket purchasing system, I would like to say that if she can get me tickets to that match I wanted to go to, she is completely magical.



[cries over upcoming Arsenal/Leeds game]
posted by Put the kettle on at 6:03 AM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


miyabo: slightly overweight dorks who hot women love regardless.

One of my problems in life is reading things too literally.
posted by nowonmai at 6:04 AM on December 10, 2010


The car looks like a cheap knock-off of a Ferrari or something

FTFY
posted by Fleebnork at 6:09 AM on December 10, 2010


Do you know, when I was young and my mum went out to work I went to the child minder next door. She looked after all the kids on our street, and was registered and totally legit. Her husband papered the toilet room with - I kid you not - careful cuttings of page three girls and crosswords from the Sun. Every inch of the walls. At the time I was fascinated by the pictures, but now obviously now I'm kind of skeeved. He was your average Sun reader in 1979-84. Times may have changed but the readership clearly hasn't. 'Subversive satire' doesn't even register. Doobiedoo is spot on.
posted by freya_lamb at 6:10 AM on December 10, 2010


God that was bad.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:11 AM on December 10, 2010


The original is so good that any parody is doomed to fail.

You couldn't be more wrong.

posted by straight at 6:16 AM on December 10, 2010 [15 favorites]


Can she turn the tickets into two different things? Say, a bottle of Maker's Mark and a large-caliber handgun? Because if she can, I am so fucking there...
posted by steambadger at 6:41 AM on December 10, 2010


Moo
posted by device55 at 7:04 AM on December 10, 2010


No dear. Actually I'd like my woman to be smart, funny and able to deliver a parody/homage to a smart ad campaign a hell of a lot better than you just did. Thanks for playing.
posted by Decani at 7:08 AM on December 10, 2010


I'd read it.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:25 AM on December 10, 2010


This hasn't been deleted yet?
posted by Burhanistan at 7:32 AM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


Color me surprised!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:35 AM on December 10, 2010


MetaFilter: about what you would expect from what appears to be the Hungarian version of Maxim.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:36 AM on December 10, 2010


Of all the things I would never ever expect to miss from the UK The Sun is probably top of the list, and yet I do...
posted by Artw at 7:39 AM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


You guys watched this with the sound on???? BA HA HA HA AHAHA... SUCKERS!
posted by spicynuts at 7:53 AM on December 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


What did she say?
posted by Senator at 8:24 AM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


If anyone's still reading this, Esquire had a pretty interesting profile of the creator of the original spot this month. He may or may not be a genius, but it's hard to argue he's not at least a bit subversive.
posted by auto-correct at 8:35 AM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


"Warm and Fuzzy Feeling," a minute-long short he made for fun, shows a kindly old lady lifting a puppy out of a Christmas box in slow-motion, slowly revealing that the puppy has a foot-long human cock

That's my kind of dude. Not my kind of puppy, mind you. But definitely my kind of dude.
posted by spicynuts at 8:41 AM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


"Warm and Fuzzy Feeling," a minute-long short he made for fun, shows a kindly old lady lifting a puppy out of a Christmas box in slow-motion, slowly revealing that the puppy has a foot-long human cock

You can't just throw that out there without a link to the video!

Warm and Fuzzy Feeling NSFW
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 10:09 AM on December 10, 2010


The original is so good that any parody is doomed to fail.

But it's a homage - not a parody, surely?
posted by Jody Tresidder at 10:45 AM on December 10, 2010


And although others have pointed out that the parody didn't work so well, I took the catering-to-guys angle as a deliberate series of fails (coconuts? cheap beer? "I'm on a... CAaar"? Can't read a frickin' teleprompter???).

Exactly. The audience this is aimed at revels in its lack of intelligence/subversion. It thinks egregious, block-headed sexism is naughty and funny.
posted by Summer at 12:44 PM on December 10, 2010


Poop.
posted by georg_cantor at 1:01 PM on December 10, 2010


I've been boycotting the sun for years and will always slip another paper over the top of the pile in newsagents. Evil, disgusting rag which has screwed up many lives with it's lies. It saddens me to see a link to it on metafilter. It's not even a good link FFS.
posted by walrus at 1:44 PM on December 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


She wasn't a robot? Uncanny valley!!

You can always identify a robot in a commercial based on the raps.
posted by FatherDagon at 1:50 PM on December 10, 2010


That girl is soooo stupid. Look how big her stupids are! Her lack of intelligence also shows on her waist and the bone structure in her face. I can't believe you guys fell for a woman that stupid.

Morans!
posted by P.o.B. at 3:00 PM on December 10, 2010


I get it, it was funny because she couldn't tell you what kind of car it was, right?
posted by tommasz at 4:24 PM on December 10, 2010


slowly revealing that the puppy has a foot-long human cock mysteriously growing out of its upper abdomen.

FESTIVE!
posted by louche mustachio at 11:55 PM on December 10, 2010


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