You may not understand the profound importance of this advice.

December 10, 2010 10:58 AM

"Motherfucker, I just gave you the most important advice that anyone in the whole world has ever given you. You may not understand the profound importance of this advice. If you learn nothing else from reading this, you need to learn these two things. SHOWER EVERY FUCKING DAY, AND WEAR DEODORANT EVERY FUCKING DAY." The Digipen Survival Guide full of sage guidance.

Digipen Institute of Technology has been linked here before (Previously) as a contributor to Portal (Previously)

posted by yeloson (74 comments total)

I did a year and half in Digipen back in 97 when it was still in Vancouver. Either due to the smallness of the school (yes, even smaller than it is now) or perhaps the beneficial influence of Canada, the worst we got were people wearing trenchcoats and bad hair... but no, we did not have the Yoshi Kid.
posted by yeloson at 11:00 AM on December 10, 2010

SHOWER EVERY FUCKING DAY

I didn't follow this advice in college, and I bagged me a husband, so I would amend it to "SHOWER EVERY FUCKING DAY OR START DATING POTHEADS."
posted by muddgirl at 11:02 AM on December 10, 2010 [25 favorites]

What about the days I'm not fucking??
posted by spicynuts at 11:05 AM on December 10, 2010 [27 favorites]

Huh, I would have gone to Digipen had I enherited a bunch of money. And I wanted to die.

I have met exactly two people who had gone. One from school, who ran out of money 3 years in. He had to re-take a bunch of credits (most of them) because either they didn't transfer or the school wasn't accredited. For one test the instructor gave the students of coding Tic Tac Toe for a C, something else (Poker?) for a B, or Conrad's game of life for an A. Within an hour or so. Turns out the professor made a bet with another professor on how many students would try to go for the A, if they did, he'd win the bet.

The other guy was at a SF bar during the last game developer's conference. He mentioned morosely that spring break at digipen coincided with the GDC, and lamented that "other guys get to go to Cancun for spring break... we get this." Probably should have bought that lad a drink.

There's something about an industry that expects prospects to no only be ground into a fine pulp from overwork, but to accept it as the norm. Also: requiring masters degrees in CS for entry level programming positions (but that's beside the point)
posted by hellojed at 11:08 AM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'll shower every day once somebody figures out how to make showering less boring.
posted by mmmbacon at 11:10 AM on December 10, 2010 [4 favorites]

What about the days I'm not fucking??

_ON ^TH_OS^E D_AY^S, Y_OU ^LU_XU^RI_AT^E I_N Y^OU_R O^DO_RS
posted by Sticherbeast at 11:12 AM on December 10, 2010 [26 favorites]

I'll shower every day once somebody figures out how to make showering less boring.

The more partners in the show, the more interesting it becomes. But this might be a bit too advanced a technique for Digipen.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:12 AM on December 10, 2010 [8 favorites]

I barely even have to explain this one. This kid was repeatedly seen huddled in a corner of arious populated labs, (not that it would have been any better in an unpopulated one) frenetically masturbating. Don’t be like him. Don’t.

We are all pretty sure Weird Beard was mentally handicapped. Like, clinically. Attempts to talk to him invariably failed. Most of the time he wouldn’t even acknowledge you if you tried. occasionally, when he was feeling social, he would try to talk to you about the comics that he liked to draw.

I have never heard of this school, but based on some of these descriptions, it sounds like the admission standards are very, very, very, very low.
posted by Ratio at 11:17 AM on December 10, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'll shower every day once somebody figures out how to make showering less boring.

1. get a shower with a decent amount of space so you're not all cramped
2. make sure the hot water lasts a long time
3. make sure you have at least decent water pressure
4. smoke a bowl or two of some killer shit
5. enjoy

warning: you may now find that you don't really want to do things besides showering. you're on your own there.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 11:18 AM on December 10, 2010 [10 favorites]

Showering may be dull, but singing to yourself and prancing around in the nude never gets old, and you may as well do it someplace warm with good acoustics.
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:19 AM on December 10, 2010 [23 favorites]

I have never heard of this school, but based on some of these descriptions, it sounds like the admission standards are very, very, very, very low.

I hadn't ever heard of DigiPen, but I just asked a couple of developers about it and most of them recognized it. I gather it's like culinary school but for people who want to make video games. Basically a very specialized, very expensive trade school. Not a bad concept if you're sure that's what you want to do.

My suspicion is that their admissions criteria have to do with whether your tuition check clears, and they protect the value of their name on a diploma by making the curriculum difficult enough that all but the best (or at least most motivated) flunk out or quit. This isn't exactly an uncommon business model; some big public universities do pretty much the same thing. They're perfectly happy to take some moron's money for a year, then cut them loose when they can't hack the flunk-out courses.

It's, interestingly, the opposite of the apparent business model of some of the Ivies, which have ridiculously competitive admissions but then are nearly impossible to flunk out of. Not sure what that means, though.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:26 AM on December 10, 2010 [6 favorites]

SHOWER EVERY FUCKING DAY

What about the days I'm not fucking??
posted by spicynuts

Eponysterical
posted by zippy at 11:27 AM on December 10, 2010 [8 favorites]

I have never heard of this school, but based on some of these descriptions, it sounds like the admission standards are very, very, very, very low.

I've never heard of it either, but my (fairly well-regarded) alma mater had a Chinese Nazi and a guy who wore head-to-toe tie-dye every single day, so I think weird creeps might be universal these days.
posted by theodolite at 11:28 AM on December 10, 2010 [3 favorites]

You people keep talking about the shower as if it were a place to get clean, rather than a place to have insights on difficult scientific problems. You're doing it wrong!
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 11:29 AM on December 10, 2010 [4 favorites]

I'll shower every day once somebody figures out how to make showering less boring.

Bring in a book. Seriously.
posted by DU at 11:29 AM on December 10, 2010 [2 favorites]

I am sometimes quite successful with women, which if you go to DigiPen, it’s statistically likely that you’re not.

I like that he qualifies this with "sometimes." He sure sounds like a real Casanova.
posted by joedan at 11:30 AM on December 10, 2010

I have never heard of this school, but based on some of these descriptions, it sounds like the admission standards are very, very, very, very low.

From what I hear, you need recommendations from mathy people, and high grades in math classes. There is a fuckton of math invovled, since students develop their own game engines/libraries, which comes with a whole gamut of physics and graphics stuff.
posted by hellojed at 11:31 AM on December 10, 2010

or one test the instructor gave the students of coding Tic Tac Toe for a C, something else (Poker?) for a B, or [Conway]'s game of life for an A. Within an hour or so.

Eh, I could write Life in an hour, especially if I had a graphics library that made rendering the board trivial. It would be a bog-slow, naïve implementation, but it would work. It's a pretty simple game, after all. Much simpler than poker, for example. Maybe there were other constraints on the exam that made it more of a challenge.
posted by jedicus at 11:32 AM on December 10, 2010 [3 favorites]

I have never heard of this school, but based on some of these descriptions, it sounds like the admission standards are very, very, very, very low.

I dunno, most non-full-time-universities tend to attract these sorts of students. I took a night course in IT, and one of my fellow students lived in a halfway house, had some sort of mental illness (he reviewed Yahoo News for webdesign class, and was particularly amazed that every news link he clicked on looked completely different from the previous), he had no access to a computer (yes, he was in the VB class), and was later arrested for breaking-and-entering at the rectory at a church downtown. On a certain level, that guy's ability to actually pass classes made me wonder just what quality of education I was getting.
posted by AzraelBrown at 11:32 AM on December 10, 2010 [3 favorites]

Maybe there were other constraints on the exam that made it more of a challenge.

I think it was all supposed to be done in the command console. IIRC
posted by hellojed at 11:34 AM on December 10, 2010

Real Artists Bathe.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 11:35 AM on December 10, 2010

You people keep talking about the shower as if it were a place to get clean, rather than a place to have insights on difficult problems.
posted by Balisong at 11:36 AM on December 10, 2010

Metafilter: luxuriation in one's odors.
posted by lalochezia at 11:37 AM on December 10, 2010

I've been teaching digital audio at a small arts college since September. This thing should be required reading.
posted by tantrumthecat at 11:38 AM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

most non-full-time-universities tend to attract these sorts of students

Except from the sound of it, DigiPen is a full-time (and then some), residential, four-year, private college. It's not a part-time program. It's apparently accredited as a "career school," although I don't know if that has any significance in terms of students' ability to get loans and whatnot.

What you're saying may still be true for the broader category of "nontraditional" post-secondary educational institutions, though.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:42 AM on December 10, 2010

I think it's fascinating how corporate capitalism has seamlessly incorporated the traditional bohemian ethos of "if you're not sacrificing your entire life for the sake of your work, you're doing it wrong" and now uses it to sell students on a lifestyle that is basically unrelieved and blatant exploitation. The number of fields in which people don't tell you "you must be 100% invested and confident in your dedication to the work, otherwise GTFO" seems to be shrinking every day.
posted by nasreddin at 11:42 AM on December 10, 2010 [27 favorites]

For a while there, this 7-Eleven was the most interesting place on the planet.

* DigiPen was in the white building beside it.
* Microsoft's games group was across the street.
* Nintendo of America was directly behind it.
* Several other game companies were relatively nearby, some as close as 100 yards.

The most mind-bogglingly collection of nerds on the planet, with an Indian family running the joint. Despite his melt-steel glare, Rupinder was a buddy.

Sadly, DigiPen moved and I moved. But goddam, you could start a nerd fight in that place with a well-timed Half-Life joke.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:43 AM on December 10, 2010 [22 favorites]

You people keep talking about showers as though it's a place to bathe, rather than a place to sit, weeping.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:43 AM on December 10, 2010 [35 favorites]

My mistake -- THIS 7-Eleven
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:44 AM on December 10, 2010

I'll shower every day once somebody figures out how to make showering less boring.

Taking showers is great fun. I love taking showers. I'll take three showers a day if I don't stop myself.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:49 AM on December 10, 2010 [2 favorites]

Except from the sound of it, DigiPen is a full-time (and then some), residential, four-year, private college. It's not a part-time program.

It can be a full-time program, but it's not residential. DigiPen is a for-profit technical school. Think DeVry for games.

That said, it can be a very good program if you put enough of yourself into it, like anything.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:52 AM on December 10, 2010

I had two friends who did their time at DigiPen, both of them artists. The amount of time they spent on their coursework for those years was hideous -- seems quite comparable with what their programmer counterparts apparently go through.

Both of them came out of the program hugely jaded. I don't know if they entirely regret having done it, but I don't think they felt that it did much for their job prospects.
posted by gurple at 11:54 AM on December 10, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'll shower every day once somebody figures out how to make showering less boring.

Do you have at least one hand? Have you ever heard of liquid soap? Figure it out.


Caveat: must have penis. If you don't have a penis, I'm thinking the soap part is optional.
posted by spicynuts at 11:55 AM on December 10, 2010

Do you have at least one hand? Have you ever heard of liquid soap? Figure it out.

Liquid soap? I always use baby oil.

Wait. What are we discussing here?
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:56 AM on December 10, 2010 [4 favorites]

The number of fields in which people don't tell you "you must be 100% invested and confident in your dedication to the work, otherwise GTFO" seems to be shrinking every day.

Please provide a list of careers you can be successful in without being 100% invested and dedicated in them. Use extra sheets as necessary.
posted by BZArcher at 11:56 AM on December 10, 2010

I went to hippie college. The people who bathed every day were by far in the minority. We had a "gamer" floor in one of the dorms and I will say that there is something about festering nerd sweat that smells particularly bad. It's something about the combination of computers, fluorescent lighting, and Mountain Dew.

Not that unwashed hippie smells like roses, but it's a different kind of funk altogether.

(As for the rest of his advice: I had to stop reading at the section on Girls because GOOD LORD I AM GOING TO LOSE IT DO YOU REALLY THINK LIKE THAT?!)
posted by sonika at 11:56 AM on December 10, 2010 [3 favorites]

"nontraditional" post-secondary educational institutions

Sorry, "Nontraditional" was the word I was looking for; the classes I took were towards a 4-year bachelor's degree, but a few nights a week for several hours, for a couple years, and relying on previous college credits to cover the basics; just down the street is a regular 4-year college, but I ended up at the night one. Colleges and universities with unusual programs tend to attract the unusual student, for better or worse...
posted by AzraelBrown at 12:00 PM on December 10, 2010

The more partners in the show, the more interesting it becomes.

In the shower? Only if you find broken bones interesting.

Bathe. Shower afterward.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 12:02 PM on December 10, 2010

GOOD LORD I AM GOING TO LOSE IT DO YOU REALLY THINK LIKE THAT?!

I'm glad you asked!
posted by zippy at 12:05 PM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

Is not showering a nerd thing or a college thing? It never occured to me to not shower, maybe I am doing it wrong.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:06 PM on December 10, 2010

Please provide a list of careers you can be successful in without being 100% invested and dedicated in them. Use extra sheets as necessary.

Believe it or not, a few decades ago it was possible for people to successfully work their jobs 9 to 5, devoting their leisure time and spare brain cells to an interesting hobby or two.
posted by nasreddin at 12:07 PM on December 10, 2010 [15 favorites]

           I'll shower every day once somebody figures out how to make showering less boring.

Bring in a book. Seriously.

OMG. Waterproof EBooks will be The Next Big Thing.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:12 PM on December 10, 2010 [6 favorites]

Not that unwashed hippie smells like roses, but it's a different kind of funk altogether.

It's more *ahem* herbal.
posted by Fleebnork at 12:13 PM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

Believe it or not, a few decades ago it was possible for people to successfully work their jobs 9 to 5, devoting their leisure time and spare brain cells to an interesting hobby or two.

I'm not saying don't have a life outside work - I'm saying that if you walk into a job and don't give 100% effort to doing the best job possible while you're working, you're likely to end up looking for another job pretty quickly.
posted by BZArcher at 12:13 PM on December 10, 2010

Both of them came out of the program hugely jaded. I don't know if they entirely regret having done it, but I don't think they felt that it did much for their job prospects.

I was doing the animation side and dropped out after discovering my prospects involved

1. 100 hour work weeks
2. No overtime pay
3. "If you don't lead a team by the time you're 30, people will probably not want to hire you anymore"
4. Watching the "successful" kids spend 14 hours in the lab, then go home to rigs they had bought to do more animating.

I also left very jaded, though I'm not regretful about it, though admittedly, tuition was a lot lower then, it was only a 2 year program, and it was in downtown Vancouver, so it wasn't like I sacrificed my social life like the kids in Redmond often do.

I think one or two of our class got picked up by Nintendo, a good number by Mainframe to animate Transformers Beastwars, and a handful ended up in the cesspits of EA.
posted by yeloson at 12:15 PM on December 10, 2010

(As for the rest of his advice: I had to stop reading at the section on Girls because GOOD LORD I AM GOING TO LOSE IT DO YOU REALLY THINK LIKE THAT?!)

This sort of attitude is why I'm increasingly having a hard time feeling comfortable in mostly male fields... If one more person lectures me that the bevy of guys who cluster around your are the poor victims of a wicked succubus who's only there because she gets an easy ride I will grow a beard in protest and then strangle people with it.

It's made me uncomfortable around nerdy men that I'm supposed to reject all overtures of friendliness because they might want to put their bits into mine, and basically reduces me from productive group member to passive concave bit owner who suffers from self delusion of her own popularity.

I'm a mother fucking bad ass DM and a good listener. I am not going to apologize for being sexually objectified, and neither am I going to live my life as if all men only value me for my possible use as a sexual acquisition.
posted by Phalene at 12:16 PM on December 10, 2010 [32 favorites]

We had a "gamer" floor in one of the dorms and I will say that there is something about festering nerd sweat that smells particularly bad.

Gamer Funk
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:20 PM on December 10, 2010

I'm not saying don't have a life outside work - I'm saying that if you walk into a job and don't give 100% effort to doing the best job possible while you're working, you're likely to end up looking for another job pretty quickly.

Clearly you have never worked in publishing.
posted by spicynuts at 12:30 PM on December 10, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'll shower every day once somebody figures out how to make showering less boring.

iPad. Netflix app. Futurama. Prop on towel rack outside of shower at opposite end of showerhead. Aim showerhead towards middle of tub to minimize splash.
posted by Brainy at 12:32 PM on December 10, 2010

GOOD LORD I AM GOING TO LOSE IT DO YOU REALLY THINK LIKE THAT?!

I'm glad you asked!

I agree that the "Women" section is probably the weakest and had a lot of cringe-worthy moments. For someone who spends a lot of time ranting about clueless socially awkward classmates, the author has a pretty immature perspective on dating. Some of the points were good (such as the advice to leave someone alone after they reject you) but a lot of it was just misogynistic bullshit. And the advice to women (that they should stop using men to do their homework for them) suggests to me that he has never actually been friends with a nerdy female and is completely clueless about what it's like for them.
posted by burnmp3s at 12:34 PM on December 10, 2010 [3 favorites]

And the advice to women (that they should stop using men to do their homework for them) suggests to me that he has never actually been friends with a nerdy female and is completely clueless about what it's like for them.

Yeah, it was that part that particularly grated on me. The part that implied that girls are all using this to our collective advantage because we "own vaginas." UGGGGGHHHHHHHH.
posted by sonika at 12:41 PM on December 10, 2010 [4 favorites]

I like how he skillfully equates headbands, trench coats and walmart sweats with idiocy.

Nicely played.
posted by mmrtnt at 12:47 PM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Motherfucker, I just gave you the most important advice that anyone in the whole world has ever given you. You may not understand the profound importance of this advice. If you learn nothing else from reading this, you need to learn these two things. SHOWER EVERY FUCKING DAY, AND WEAR DEODORANT EVERY FUCKING DAY."

Needs more gun to the head.

And now you too are hearing it in Samuel L. Jackson's voice.

(It's the antiperspirant stick that says "BAD MOTHER FUCKER")
posted by Smedleyman at 12:49 PM on December 10, 2010 [4 favorites]

OMG. Waterproof EBooks will be The Next Big Thing.

Kindle + quart sized double zipper Ziploc freezer bag. Srsly.
posted by Ratio at 12:51 PM on December 10, 2010 [3 favorites]

Real Artists Bathe.

"Good artists shower; great artists bathe."
— T.S. Eliot
posted by kenko at 12:55 PM on December 10, 2010 [2 favorites]

(It's the antiperspirant stick that says "BAD MOTHER FUCKER")

Both the Read A Book rap PSA and Ghostface Killah's Twitter instructions on cleansing have already got you covered.
posted by yeloson at 12:56 PM on December 10, 2010

Redd Foxx was on this years ago.
posted by mintcake! at 12:59 PM on December 10, 2010

People with bad hygiene will get turned down at job interviews because no one wants to work with someone who smells bad.

This is not true. There are four IT guys I deal with at work. One of them is okay. Two of them have no fashion sense (they wear black workboots instead of, you know, shoes, as if their job involves climbing or heavy lifting or walking in mud, and they wear beige pants that are usually a size too big, but are occasionally a size too small and their shirts are usually black and coated with dandruff - and one of them always has a packet of potato chips and has a plate sized mark on his right pant leg where he wipes his greasy hands and one of them cycles to work and even though he showers when he arrives, he still somehow has his pants tucked into his socks and I realise this sentence is about fourteen lines long now) and noticeable body odour, and I don't even know where to start with the other one - we call him "Animal" - two managers have sat him down about his hygiene issues. He's actually a non-IT guy who I don't deal with but who hangs out with the IT guys and occasionally sits in on their meetings because he wants people to know that he knows about IT even though he's not involved in IT and will loudly talk over people in meetings about how this relates to this one time he was helping his friend design a game or how he was "like definitely the first person in New Zealand to sign up to facebook and you can probably check it in their server logs" or how he "boned" some "chickachicka" "last night" (always last night and invariably in the toilets of a club whose layout he seems strangely unfamiliar with when quizzed) and he has a tendency to sneeze on or near you and make growling noises at his desk. This guy has atrocious personal hygiene, and he got hired, as did the other two.

As an aside, the words "MotherFucker" and "MetaFilter" bear a strong resemblance to each other. This might go some way toward explaining things.
posted by doublehappy at 1:07 PM on December 10, 2010 [2 favorites]

I didn't finish it, but any article that includes "who is this guy, and why should I listen to him?" usually fails for me. Let your product speak for itself.

*scans, scans, scans* ...

1. Dating = fucking. If you’re not fucking, you’re not dating, so quit
wasting your time and money on her.

OK. Nuff said (and read) then. What makes this nonsense interesting/a good discussion? Stinky gamers? Pretty weak post, imo.

I'm saying that if you walk into a job and don't give 100% effort to doing the best job possible while you're working, you're likely to end up looking for another job pretty quickly.

Clearly you have never worked in publishing any normal job.

I am a reasonably well paid "Internet professional" (won't get too specific for many reasons), who puts about, oh, 25% into my job. I get decent reviews year after year. Sure, my effort level the first 2 years was maybe 80-90%, but some of the last few years, it's been 10-20%, tops.

Please provide a list of careers you can be successful in without being 100% invested and dedicated in them. Use extra sheets as necessary

Teacher
Educational Administrator
Paralegal
Lawyer
Judge
Graphic Designer
Web Producer
Project Manager
Product Manager
Marketing Rep
Advertising Salesman
Janitor
Taxicab Driver
Bus Driver
Clerk
Cashier
Construction Worker
Waiter
Bartender
Copy Writer
Editor
Telemarketer
Customer Support Representative
Customer Support Manager
Technical Writer
Technical Designer
Firefighter
Police
Accountant
Software Engineer
Industrial Engineer
Civil Engineer
Nurse
Soldier
Postal Delivery Person
Interior Designer
Painter
Mover
Pizza Delivery Person
Network Administrator
Security Guard
Photographer
Musician
Mechanic
Athletic Coach
Pilot
Librarian
posted by mrgrimm at 1:08 PM on December 10, 2010 [14 favorites]

> Eh, I could write Life in an hour, especially if I had a graphics library that made rendering the board trivial.

Yeah, but would that include the boss level and exploding monster blood sfx?
posted by ardgedee at 1:08 PM on December 10, 2010

Here's a 2002 USA Today story on DigiPen. (Video game college is 'boot camp' for designers)

DigiPen is definitely a big deal as far as indie games go. Princeton Review ranked it the second best place to study game development (USC is #1), and DigiPen students are always in the list of IGF nominees and winners (though the school's prominence has dimmed a bit in recent years).
posted by mrgrimm at 1:15 PM on December 10, 2010

Man, I remember seeing Digipen ads all the time in Nintendo Power magazines.

I've really noticed, though, that I only smell bad when I wear the same shirt for more than two days, regardless of how much I've showered. Anyone else have this experience?
posted by wayland at 1:29 PM on December 10, 2010

BZArcher : I'm saying that if you walk into a job and don't give 100% effort to doing the best job possible while you're working, you're likely to end up looking for another job pretty quickly.

You do realize where the vast majority of mefites are when they are reading the site, right?
posted by quin at 1:41 PM on December 10, 2010 [25 favorites]

Fuck, I would call in sick to work if I did not have a freshly laundered Brooks Brothers shirt. I do however rock those beige pants doublehappy doesn't seem to like. But then I wear a navy blazer with brass buttons so the beige pants are part of the look. Right now I am wearing a spread collar Donald Trump blue label shirt because I am being ironic for friday.
posted by Ad hominem at 1:46 PM on December 10, 2010

I've really noticed, though, that I only smell bad when I wear the same shirt for more than two days, regardless of how much I've showered. Anyone else have this experience?

This subject has been discussed recently here. At length.
posted by mrgrimm at 1:48 PM on December 10, 2010

What a dull, useless tool.

He talks at length about maintaining the value of DigiPen's reputation as a school through personal appearances, hygiene and general effort as integral to maintaining the financial value of each student's degrees, but never once stops to think that the one-dimensional, shallow and outright misogynistic flaming horseshit that he's spewing will have any impact whatsoever. Winrar!

Yeah, this is such harsh, sage wisdom. The whole 20 yard scroll can be condensed to "Work hard. Read books. Wash your ass." The rest of it is "Women scare me and I refuse to even try to understand them. Also: retards are lulz."

It's actually pretty offensive, but it's not from the edgy bad words.
posted by loquacious at 1:53 PM on December 10, 2010 [10 favorites]

What about the days I'm not fucking??

Now you know why you're not fucking on those days.
posted by me & my monkey at 1:56 PM on December 10, 2010 [3 favorites]

OMG. Waterproof EBooks will be The Next Big Thing.

Not waterproof. You just be careful. I've done it for years and have only destroyed one book (and that was actually knocked into a bath, not a shower).
posted by DU at 2:01 PM on December 10, 2010

I'll shower every day once somebody figures out how to make showering less boring.
...Bring in a book. Seriously.
......OMG. Waterproof EBooks will be The Next Big Thing.

Kindles fit in quart-sized Ziploc bags. I've been much cleaner since I found that out.
posted by halogen at 2:33 PM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yeah, this is such harsh, sage wisdom. The whole 20 yard scroll can be condensed to "Work hard. Read books. Wash your ass." The rest of it is "Women scare me and I refuse to even try to understand them. Also: retards are lulz."

Actually, he tells you *not* to read books, because 1) all the information is available on the internet! and 2) your professors will tell you everything you need to know.

Apparently the profs at Digipen don't mind being asked to summarize the reading Every Single Day, but I fail students who do this.

Also, it's no good washing your ass if you never wash your clothes.
posted by jrochest at 2:48 PM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

Actually, he tells you *not* to read books, because 1) all the information is available on the internet! and 2) your professors will tell you everything you need to know.

Well, he also says use the library. But I doubt they keep a copy of every book for every student, so I wonder how that's working out for him.

Also, it's no good washing your ass if you never wash your clothes.

You can... wash clothes? Like, by wearing them in the shower or something? The last time I tried that my Naruta headband got rusty, and I can get a three pack of sweat pants at Walmart for ten bucks, so why bother?
posted by loquacious at 3:11 PM on December 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

Tommy Toilet sez:
posted by lathrop at 6:06 PM on December 10, 2010

Motherfucker??

Don't sweet talk me, tell me what you really think!
posted by Twang at 12:06 AM on December 11, 2010

I like how he skillfully equates headbands, trench coats and walmart sweats with idiocy.

Everybody needs someone to pity -- even the nerdliest of nerds
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:46 AM on December 11, 2010