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Go for the eyes, Boo!
January 10, 2011 8:15 PM   Subscribe

Behold the territorial Russian attack hamster. (features some gentle prodding and the hamster is, I think, not harmed.)
posted by boo_radley (75 comments total) 30 users marked this as a favorite

 
That hamster is more of a hero than I will ever be.
posted by Kloryne at 8:20 PM on January 10, 2011 [11 favorites]


IT'S A POKEMON

Oh damn you I have to favorite you for the Boo reference damn you
posted by The Whelk at 8:20 PM on January 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


double
posted by sebastienbailard at 8:21 PM on January 10, 2011


You seem to be mistaken, sebastien.
posted by boo_radley at 8:23 PM on January 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


STOP TAKING ATTENTION AWAY FROM MY BEAR

God this is like the circus I grew up in ALL OVER AGAIN.
posted by griphus at 8:23 PM on January 10, 2011 [15 favorites]


STOP TAKING ATTENTION AWAY FROM MY BEAR

God all those bars I've been in, if I've had a nickle....
posted by The Whelk at 8:24 PM on January 10, 2011 [10 favorites]


Yeah.. all hamsters are a neuron away from absolute freakout. If those bastards where dog sized we'd forget about al qaeda and wage massive military actions against the the furry little jaws of death instead.... and they would probably win too.
posted by edgeways at 8:24 PM on January 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Until this moment, it had never even occurred to me that there are hamsters that live in the wild.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:28 PM on January 10, 2011 [34 favorites]


The young men with the colorful language might want to take some precautions against rabies.

Yes, hamsters typically don't contract rabies; but, then, hamsters also don't typically attack people.
posted by Nomyte at 8:31 PM on January 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Remember: you don't have to outrun the russian attack hamster.

You just have to outrun the guy who took off his shoe to provoke the russian attach hamster.
posted by schwa at 8:32 PM on January 10, 2011 [13 favorites]


They probably deserved it.
posted by outlandishmarxist at 8:33 PM on January 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Nomyte: "hamsters also don't typically attack people"

Dwarf hamsters don't, but a black-bellied one is aggressive. Even once they're tamed, they'll get pissy with dogs or cats or their minders.
posted by boo_radley at 8:35 PM on January 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


That's a very distinctive colouration; much darker belly. I wonder if these guys burrow or forage in rocky ground - the darker fur is a little more wear resistant than lighter fur. The lighter fur on top could provide camouflage advantages.

Also, I wonder if it had young nearby? Rodents, even those of unusual size, tend not to be (that) aggressive unless cornered and this feller was in the middle of a road/path.
posted by porpoise at 8:36 PM on January 10, 2011


GET OUT OF THERE, STALKER.
posted by TwelveTwo at 8:37 PM on January 10, 2011 [8 favorites]


Is it defending its nest/young? I've only ever interacted with pet hamsters myself and aside from familiarity with humans never considered them really domesticated, and this particular behavior (the standing/hopping attack) is new to me. Certainly familiar with how nasty their bites can be, and that little wrap-around bite and claw furiously technique.
posted by luftmensch at 8:38 PM on January 10, 2011


I really, really wanted to step on that thing when I saw it.
posted by Sternmeyer at 8:43 PM on January 10, 2011


Go hamster! WORK THE GROIN!
posted by Ritchie at 8:48 PM on January 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


My daughter once had a tiny dwarf white hamster that was every bit as evil and foul tempered as this one. Once I opened its cage to feed it and it leaped at me, bit me and drew blood.

All I could think watching this is "Those guys need a holy handgrenade of Antioch."
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 8:51 PM on January 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


I think it's a wild Djungarian hamster. They usually live in Kazakhstan and Siberia.

It's a ninja Borat.
posted by nickyskye at 8:58 PM on January 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


So this is the legendary Hamster style that Orgazmo taught us about.
posted by psp200 at 9:03 PM on January 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I believe he/she is one of the Great Ham(p)sters of Alsace.
posted by Kloryne at 9:03 PM on January 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


nickyskye: "I think it's a wild Djungarian hamster. They usually live in Kazakhstan and Siberia."

Not likely. The Djungarian is apparently 1/2 the size of a golden, so that makes him a small fraction of our wily defender's size. You can see in many images that our stalwart shares the precise type of coloring of the european.
posted by boo_radley at 9:05 PM on January 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


AKA the Alsace Hamster Kloryne linked to. Apparently "Colony" is different than "fractured pairs living across Europe" although I don't know what.

Q: DANG BOO YOU GOT A THING FOR HAMSTERS WHAT'S UP WITH THAT.
A: Ask me about having a five year old.
posted by boo_radley at 9:08 PM on January 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


It is a pretty freakin' Great hamster.
posted by Kloryne at 9:08 PM on January 10, 2011


I have been bitten in the scrotums by a hamster before. This seems like the place for that.
posted by cmoj at 9:17 PM on January 10, 2011 [7 favorites]


It may not be a ninja Borat but if it doesn't watch out he/she may end up as cuy.
posted by nickyskye at 9:23 PM on January 10, 2011


Looks like a miniature giant space hamster to me.
posted by tdismukes at 9:30 PM on January 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh damn you I have to favorite you for the Boo reference damn you

Squeaky wheel gets the kick! and a favorite
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 9:31 PM on January 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


You must gather your favorites before venturing forth.
posted by NoraReed at 9:46 PM on January 10, 2011 [6 favorites]




You must gather your favorites before venturing forth.

This is like a stress disorder trigger screw you.

(GOD NAILIA, USE PATHFINDING SOFTWARE MUCH GOD)
posted by The Whelk at 9:48 PM on January 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I felt kind of uncomfortable watching that, thinking of how distressed the hamster had to have been in order to be on the offensive like that instead of just running away. The boys shouldn't have taunted it, but I can see where they might have just been caught up in the "WTF?"ness of the moment. I was glad to see that they cared enough to put it safely in the grass at the end.
posted by amyms at 9:56 PM on January 10, 2011 [6 favorites]


So this is the Russian alternative to bullfighting?
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 9:57 PM on January 10, 2011


Minsc approves!
posted by Addlepated at 10:03 PM on January 10, 2011


Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters.

Feel free to read all about them here.
posted by jabberjaw at 10:25 PM on January 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters.

I had that comic. As well as Geriatric Gangrene Jujitsu Gerbils.

... it was a small town. Those were the best comics I could get.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 10:54 PM on January 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


"Feral hamsters are not pets. They mean business. Wide berth advised. Carry nothing even remotely vegetablish if in the path of a feral herd. If in the path of such a herd, move quickly and calmly in a direction perpendicular to their own."

Apparently, these guys never read Infinite Jest.
posted by platinum at 11:32 PM on January 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Russian squirrel pack 'kills dog'

In Soviet Russia, rodents hunt you.
posted by Anything at 11:34 PM on January 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


That's one pissed off hamster.
posted by dougzilla at 11:47 PM on January 10, 2011


Yes, it's a European hamster. Most live in Eastern Europe and Central Asia now. There used to be large colonies in Western Europe, but they're endangered there (300 or so left in France). I've always heard they were too aggressive to become pets or lab animals, unlike their Syrian cousins who are nearly extinct in the wild.
posted by elgilito at 1:16 AM on January 11, 2011


An individual hamster's food stash "may consist of a total of 65 kg of food including 5 kg of potatoes and 15 kg of grain." That's pretty amazing.
posted by luftmensch at 2:10 AM on January 11, 2011


And so it was that Little Josef Stalin killed two guys who had the audacity to make fun of him.

Then he went after their families.
posted by bwg at 2:21 AM on January 11, 2011


*gentle guitar intro*
This week on Tales of the RiverbaAAAHHHFUCKGETITOFFMEGETITOFFMEGETITOFFME!
posted by pracowity at 2:38 AM on January 11, 2011 [4 favorites]


"The European Hamster is fierce."
posted by moonbiter at 3:19 AM on January 11, 2011


In the short films I make up in my head the little European Hamster is actually warning the teenagers to GTFO because of the oversized Pripyat Hamster that has been stalking them for the last five minutes...
posted by Ritchie at 3:26 AM on January 11, 2011 [5 favorites]


He should clean that bite up, but it's not likely rabies. That Hamster is just MEAN. Look at him attack the shoe. He's like "I KEEEL YOU, SHOE"
posted by dabitch at 3:33 AM on January 11, 2011


There's a woman in Vienna who photographs wild European Hamsters, she has a lot of beautiful photos: Feldhamster (flickr set), which also has a link to her blog on them. She gets some neat video as well.
posted by fraula at 3:35 AM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


An individual hamster's food stash "may consist of a total of 65 kg of food including 5 kg of potatoes and 15 kg of grain."

And enough vodka to get real mean..
posted by Ahab at 4:42 AM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


I love its little fighting stance at :52. Like a teeny tiny Chuck Norris!

Also, I didn't catch it the first time through but that thing is growling like a maniac. It sounds like the Tasmanian Devil from the Bugs Bunny cartoons.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 5:06 AM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


I have been bitten in the scrotums by a hamster before. This seems like the place for that.

Do tell.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 5:14 AM on January 11, 2011


Can MetaFilter please get more videos of Russian bumpkins torturing animals for amusement?
posted by dgaicun at 5:18 AM on January 11, 2011 [3 favorites]


What with the growling, the jumping, and the sheer bloodlust, this reminds me of nothing so much as a headcrab from Half-Life. If it were just a little bigger, there would be many, many hamster zombies shambling around Russia.
posted by ZsigE at 5:31 AM on January 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


I have been bitten in the scrotums by a hamster before. This seems like the place for that.

I'm more curious about the plural scrotums (scroti?).
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 5:46 AM on January 11, 2011


All hamsters have the potential for great violence. A buddy of mine has a dwarf hamster with an open top cage. A mouse got into their house and they were considering an exterminator. Then one day, they found a half-devoured mouse in the hamster's cage.
*shivers*
And did I mention the rabbit they had that liked the taste of raw meat? That would just STARE at you?
*shivers more*
posted by charred husk at 5:53 AM on January 11, 2011 [4 favorites]


Why haven't escaped hamsters and gerbils and such propagated in the wild? Pigs and snakeheads have.
posted by Shike at 6:10 AM on January 11, 2011


Why haven't escaped hamsters and gerbils and such propagated in the wild?

If my childhood pet ownership is any example, it's cause they're only slightly dumber the wood shavings in their cage.
posted by The Whelk at 6:14 AM on January 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


Scrota.
posted by pracowity at 6:27 AM on January 11, 2011


Scrotumses
posted by Pendragon at 6:56 AM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


Scrotopi
posted by The Whelk at 6:59 AM on January 11, 2011


Hamsters can give a mean bite, as one of those chaps appears to have discovered.
posted by Decani at 7:07 AM on January 11, 2011


Scrotumses.

Not fair! It isn’t fair, my precious, is it, to ask us what it’s got in its nassty little pocketses?
posted by pracowity at 7:26 AM on January 11, 2011 [4 favorites]


A not-so-brief but fascinating post on the domestication of hamsters.
posted by whimsicalnymph at 7:30 AM on January 11, 2011 [3 favorites]


That little fucker is absolutely fearless.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 8:06 AM on January 11, 2011


Wait, there are wild hamsters? I guess they had to come from somewhere but I never imagined.
posted by Ad hominem at 8:11 AM on January 11, 2011


underneath all that cuteness, hamsters are mean canibalistic buggers. I was glad when they put it to the side of the road and didnt try to take it home and keep it.
posted by lifewith4cats at 8:24 AM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


The old "Mutant Hamsters of the Exclusion Zone" screenplay really writes itself.
posted by thivaia at 8:56 AM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


I was heartened that the young men just put the ham back into the grass at the end.
posted by winna at 9:03 AM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


What kind of boring mellow hamsters have I been exposed to as a kid?!
posted by TrinsicWS at 9:59 AM on January 11, 2011


Can MetaFilter please get more videos of Russian bumpkins torturing animals for amusement?

Here you go!
posted by inedible at 10:27 AM on January 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


The old "Mutant Hamsters of the Exclusion Zone" screenplay really writes itself.

Meh, it's been done.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:43 AM on January 11, 2011


Wild? It's absolutely livid!
posted by Flitcraft at 11:44 AM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


Do tell.

Fine. I was about 12, and playing, I believe, Super Street Fighter II Turbo and Rita the hamster was out. Predisposed as I was, I didn't react in time as she entered my athletic shorts. Luckily, she didn't break the skin, but I still learned a valuable lesson, and I've never since allowed a rodent access to my tender areas.

As for "scrotums" I couldn't find the clip, but in, I think, A Mighty Wind Jennifer Coolidge has a scene in which she describes an encounter with a flasher or something and how she saw his "scrotums." I don't know why, but it's been hilarious to me ever since to pluralize "scrotum."
posted by cmoj at 1:55 PM on January 11, 2011 [4 favorites]


I'm convinced that when that hamster speaks, he sounds just like Joe Pesci in 'Goodfellas'.

He probably has a tiny ice pick, too.
posted by jim.christian at 4:09 PM on January 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


I was interested in the hampster's cameo. When it stands up and puts its hand together it looks like a bigger animal, mostly raccoon, so I wonder if the standing upright is a big FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! I AM A MUCH BIGGER DUDE! FUCK YOU! RACCOON! DON'T LOOK AT ME. kinda thing.
posted by The Whelk at 6:20 PM on January 11, 2011


Anyone surprised by this clearly didn't learn the lessons Invader Zim tried to teach us in Hamstergeddon; one of the few episodes of kids TV with a significant body-count.

Hamsters are a force of absolute destruction and the only thing keeping us safe from them is the fact that they are too small to throw buses and knock down fighter aircraft.
posted by quin at 8:30 AM on January 12, 2011


"The European Hamster is fierce."

"The European Hamster is a good swimmer and inflates its cheek pouches with air to help stay afloat whilst swimming."
posted by kliuless at 1:19 PM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


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