That is not dead which can eternal tie

January 12, 2011 9:47 AM

You might already know The Windsor, or The Half-Windsor et al... but what about The Lovecraft?
posted by fearfulsymmetry (42 comments total)

Done! Now that I have my tentacled head, where do I find the grotesque scaly body and rudimentary wings?
posted by dabitch at 9:51 AM on January 12, 2011

Sheesh! What immortal hand or eye could frame that fearful symmetry?
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:51 AM on January 12, 2011 [18 favorites]

I know the Pratt as a Shelby, and the stars are always right for a Shelby.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:56 AM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is just the post I needed. Iä fearfulsymmetry! fearful symmetry fhtagn!
posted by Mister_A at 9:58 AM on January 12, 2011

where do I find the grotesque scaly body and rudimentary wings?

*seductively raises eyebrow, opening top shirt button as Kenny G plays on the phonograph*
posted by Greg Nog at 9:59 AM on January 12, 2011 [28 favorites]

Gaahhh! Now you've got Kenny G stuck in my head! I would rather meet the fate of Barzai the Wise, whose soul was consumed by the Other Gods, than listen to that crap!

[SUMMONS AC/DC SONG]
posted by Mister_A at 10:00 AM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

I've always preferred the Ascot, but I think I know now what I'm going to wear to my graduation ceremony...
posted by daniel_charms at 10:02 AM on January 12, 2011

Knot bad. Note they should be tied so that the tips rest meet below the green, sticky spawn of the stars yet just above the grotesque scaly waist (yes, reader, in front of the rudimentary wings).
posted by hal9k at 10:05 AM on January 12, 2011

Oho! This is but one of five new ways to tie a tie, from College Humor. The other four will not prepare you for the return of the Great Old Ones, but they are amusing. (And here's link to The Contrarian blog post where this image was re-posted.)
posted by filthy light thief at 10:06 AM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

Excellent! Now I finally have a use for the dozen green ties in my closet!

Can't seem to find an image of someone who's actually done this. Anybody?
posted by gurple at 10:09 AM on January 12, 2011

The Goat in the Forest with a Thousand Young thinks you need a non-Euclidian pocket square.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:09 AM on January 12, 2011 [3 favorites]

Now I want an entire magazine dedicated to end-times menswear.

Like GQ, but squamous.
posted by Myca at 10:10 AM on January 12, 2011 [7 favorites]

Maybe 'Gentleman's Qlippothic'.

I dunno, I'm still working on it.
posted by Myca at 10:12 AM on January 12, 2011 [4 favorites]

Oh this tip in sartorial elegance was from the Man Himself via twitter
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:15 AM on January 12, 2011

I am gibbering with delight (or is it madness?) as I read this thread...
posted by Mister_A at 10:26 AM on January 12, 2011

In case it's of interest to anyone, saw on publisher's marketplace on Monday that there's going to be a Chtulu anthology by John Joseph Adams coming out this fall. Looks like he's taking user submissions on what to include.
posted by jng at 10:28 AM on January 12, 2011

If College Humor is making Cthulu jokes, does that mean that the Lovecraftian mythos has jumped the Cyäegha?
posted by The Michael The at 10:40 AM on January 12, 2011 [6 favorites]

Yes, he jumped the shoggoth so hard it's like he was being carried by a shantak bird or somethin'.
posted by Mister_A at 10:42 AM on January 12, 2011

Just noticed the post title. Blasphemously good.
posted by gurple at 10:44 AM on January 12, 2011

Gentlemen (and ladies so inclined), you should be tying a four-in-hand knot unless you want to look ridiculous. That is all.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 11:03 AM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

For some reason, I'm imagining all of the comments in this thread being read aloud in Dr. Zoidberg's voice.....
posted by schmod at 11:07 AM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

I ltaghed out lhoud.
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:10 AM on January 12, 2011

Four-in-hands are good for skinny ties and for general everyday wear but for more formal occasions (weddings, funerals, interviews) something more symmetrical is in order. I like the pratt (or shelby – it was invented by Pratt and popularized by Shelby) for this because it is easy to get a good dimple and because it's the knot that my father uses, so tying it reminds me of him.
posted by Scientist at 11:16 AM on January 12, 2011

Fact: it takes a good grasp of Non-Euclidean geometry and skill with the strange lines and angles outside reality to tie a bow tie.
posted by The Whelk at 11:58 AM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

Bah, the four-in-hand is for waitstaff and other people who don't care how their tie looks. The half windsor is how a tie should be tied.
posted by electroboy at 12:32 PM on January 12, 2011 [3 favorites]

Some o' these knots are right eldritch.
posted by Mister_A at 12:55 PM on January 12, 2011

I judge men by their tie knots. Anyone who doesn't do the full Windsor is suspect. I may have to revise that to allow the full Cthulu, also.
posted by Decani at 1:11 PM on January 12, 2011

I wonder what the 'Innsmouth Knot' would look like. Do fish wear ties?
posted by New England Cultist at 1:20 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Okay -- you know how there's a tiny cliche'd sort of "difference between men and women" involving identifying colors, where the guy looks at three different shades of pink and says "they're all pink" but the woman looks at them and says "wtf no, THAT'S OBVIOUSLY salmon, and THAT'S hot pink, and THAT'S coral"?

...I'm experiencing the converse of that, because I honestly can't tell the difference between the half-windsor, the four-in-hand, or the like.

Seriously, if you're gonna give a tie knot a different name, I expect it to look notably different, like a balloon animal or something.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:31 PM on January 12, 2011 [5 favorites]

Pffft. Already did this. My first attempt at a tie knot was quite rugose.
posted by adipocere at 1:39 PM on January 12, 2011

Seriously, if you're gonna give a tie knot a different name, I expect it to look notably different

Ahhh, you see, but it's not the APPEARANCE of the tie that gives it a new denomination.. it's the minutes of cursing, tying, re-tying, cursing, almost stranglling yourself, tying again -- that is where the labels come in..
posted by cavalier at 2:01 PM on January 12, 2011

Bah, the four-in-hand is for waitstaff and other people who don't care how their tie looks.

QFT. I really dislike four-in-hand knots; asymmetrical, slight things, like a cross-eyed waif.
posted by kenko at 2:50 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Fact: it takes a good grasp of Non-Euclidean geometry and skill with the strange lines and angles outside reality to tie a bow tie.

It helps if you have your own TARDIS, I think.
posted by Sidhedevil at 3:41 PM on January 12, 2011

Is the Pratt knot so I can look like a prat?

Because I don't need help with that.
posted by Capt. Renault at 3:49 PM on January 12, 2011

The four-in-hand is an abomination.

I like the Nicky: simple, symmetrical, not too bulky.
posted by robcorr at 4:02 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

(The Nicky is a self-releasing variant of the Pratt.)
posted by robcorr at 4:03 PM on January 12, 2011

Gentlemen (and ladies so inclined), you should be tying a four-in-hand knot unless you want to look ridiculous. That is all.

Bah, the four-in-hand is for waitstaff and other people who don't care how their tie looks. The half windsor is how a tie should be tied.

Wait, wait, you're both wrong. No gentleman would leave the house without a full Windsor.
posted by Mental Wimp at 4:25 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm gonna try to make that Crossbow knot work. The tricky part will be to get both ties in the same knot and not just one on top of the other.

Heh. Tie chi.
posted by no mind at 5:50 PM on January 12, 2011

Four-in-hand is a sure sign of sloppy thinking. Windsor or Half-Windsor are the only acceptable knots. To quote arcticseal Snr, "standards have to be maintained".
posted by arcticseal at 6:07 PM on January 12, 2011

the Four-In-Hand is great when you need to quickly dress. Anything else requires me to stand in front a mirror and think.
posted by The Whelk at 6:08 PM on January 12, 2011

Maybe I'm getting old and cynical, but my first thought was "how is he going to eat with that on?"

Written as I'm sitting in a hotel library in a suit and tie.
posted by tommasz at 2:35 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

Maybe I'm getting old and cynical, but my first thought was "how is he going to eat with that on?"

You really, REALLY don't want to know.

Which is not to say that you won't find out.
posted by FatherDagon at 9:52 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]