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January 22, 2011 10:37 PM   Subscribe

Pink releases music video for the song Fuckin' Perfect: Explicit Version (Youtube, possibly NSFW) / Radio Edit: Youtube / MTVMusic. Background: Pink's Website / Wikipedia. Note: Both versions of the video depict anorexia, cutting and suicide.
posted by zarq (61 comments total) 21 users marked this as a favorite

 
In case anyone was wondering, the YouTube region restriction checker says the linked videos are available everywhere but Germany. My apologies to German MeFites.

The radio / MTV edit of the song is called "Perfect."

Pink's note on her website links to a non-profit called To Write Love On Her Arms:
"To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery."

posted by zarq at 10:45 PM on January 22, 2011 [4 favorites]


That's a pretty impressive video...

I see kids on a regular basis that fit into that mold....

thanks for posting this.
posted by HuronBob at 11:01 PM on January 22, 2011


Very odd to hear the word "fuck" in such a Disneyesque pop song.
posted by dydecker at 11:22 PM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


My opinion of her song "Raise Your Glass" that plays endlessly on the radio around here rose quite a bit after I read that she wrote it as a reaction to bullying and homophobia and other kinds of discrimination. Her stuff always does seem smarter and more meaningful than most of the other pop out there, just really authentic and heartfelt, and this video's no exception. I like her.

If you're not familiar with her career, check out this great post by bguest from last year. The story of her marriage is especially cool.
posted by Rhaomi at 11:28 PM on January 22, 2011 [6 favorites]


HuronBob: " thanks for posting this."

You're very welcome.

I found it quite difficult to watch. Thought it might be of interest to others here.
posted by zarq at 11:28 PM on January 22, 2011 [2 favorites]


God, Pink. I don't usually seek out pop music--haven't since I got all punk rock around 10th grade or so--but she's one artist who I encounter now and then and never fails to really, really resonate with me. Like this made me weep. Seriously.

(Though, when the girl started her transformative haircut, I couldn't help think, "Make sure you clean up all the hair or your mom's going to be pissed!" Trust me. I've been there before).
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 11:36 PM on January 22, 2011 [5 favorites]


We're used to it; nothing on YouTube is ever available in Germany.
posted by creasy boy at 12:01 AM on January 23, 2011 [3 favorites]


I absolutely adore Pink, her voice is... insanely, insanely good, and outside of the most pop-friendly stuff (which I find a bit too cookie cutter) she's got some great tunes, which are both musically interesting yet accessibly pop. Hell, there's days where I've taken up my entire commute to work, there and back, looping "Funhouse" on my iPhone over and over. Or even just "It's All Your Fault", over and over. Pink is stupendous.

I make this disclaimer to cushion the truth that, wow, I did not like this. I found the song to be incredibly lazily written, boring pop, and the video/story is just... ugh. Even the non-profit, while it looks to be non-gender-specific, uses the name "To Write Love On Her Arms", just as our heroine in the video carved her frustrations into her forearm.

I had a much longer screed, but fuck it, it'd just get flagged and then deleted by Jessamyn, and besides I can say it just as well by noting this: back in the early 90's and through much of the decade, I was a huge Tori Amos fan. Yet even in the height of my Tori fandom (much cooled since she drifted from her LE, UtP, and BfP era), I was saddened by her support for RAINN- not because I disagreed with the principles of that organization which are fine in and of themselves, but because once again I felt that jello-shot-flavored morning-after regret was getting more profile, funding, and focus than ritualized, incomprehensible dehumanization in prisons. This Pink song strikes a similar chord in me, and I loathed it for as much as I love Pink and her music.


Boys, and men, have real problems too. But no one ever seems to give a shit, because we're not pretty little fragile doves, I guess. So we suffer in silence, and when we hurt ourselves or take our own lives from the sheer madness of isolation and lovelessness, no one writes a fucking song about it or starts foundations to help.
posted by hincandenza at 12:04 AM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


hincandenza, I don't think her message is primarily a gendered one. In fact, when I read this quote--"I personally don't know a single person who doesn't know at least two of these victims personally"--my first thought was my husband, who still bears scars from self-harm as an adolescent.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:13 AM on January 23, 2011 [11 favorites]


I was saddened by her support for RAINN- not because I disagreed with the principles of that organization which are fine in and of themselves, but because once again I felt that jello-shot-flavored morning-after regret was getting more profile, funding, and focus than ritualized, incomprehensible dehumanization in prisons.

(Emphasis mine.) Wow, holy fucking shit. Way to be incredibly dismissive about rape.

Boys, and men, have real problems too. But no one ever seems to give a shit, because we're not pretty little fragile doves, I guess. So we suffer in silence, and when we hurt ourselves or take our own lives from the sheer madness of isolation and lovelessness, no one writes a fucking song about it or starts foundations to help.

So why don't you do something about it? It's not a zero sum game. Unless you make it one like you're doing here.
posted by kmz at 12:13 AM on January 23, 2011 [40 favorites]


See what I mean? Predictable, kmz.
posted by hincandenza at 12:24 AM on January 23, 2011


That tired rhetorical gambit? Predictable, hincandenza.
posted by kmz at 12:28 AM on January 23, 2011 [6 favorites]


But no one ever seems to give a shit, because we're not pretty little fragile doves, I guess.

Maybe female rock stars are more open to portraying themselves/their gender as fragile. Just a guess. I don't see a lot of male musicians go that route. Probably, P!NK is just putting forward a scenario she feels she can relate to.
posted by New England Cultist at 12:35 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


jello-shot-flavored morning-after regret

i called RAINN one night instead of killing myself. i was racked with dreams of learning how to give a blowjob when i was 9 years old by my older brother. it was years before my first jello shot.
posted by nadawi at 12:41 AM on January 23, 2011 [33 favorites]


also - if you listened to so much tori, you should have stumbled upon tool - are his heartwrenching songs about abuse not good enough? there are plenty of men who write and sing about their abuse, both internal and external.
posted by nadawi at 12:43 AM on January 23, 2011 [20 favorites]


Boys, and men, have real problems too.

And boy do they ever tire of letting us know about it? It's getting to be nigh on impossible to read a post about some issue that affects women, without some man or other pouting and whining about how 'men have problems too'.

no one writes a fucking song about it or starts foundations to help.

Pretty much the totality of world art and literature prior to the 20th Century is devoted to the discussion of men's problems. Up until thirty or forty years ago, women were just another man's problem. All of those institutions and foundations established to deal with non-gender specific problems have traditionally been dominated by men. Just because you personally don't feel privileged doesn't mean that your gender isn't.

(Sheesh, I'm turning into Astro Zombie now...)
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:10 AM on January 23, 2011 [65 favorites]


Wow - that was trigger inducing. Thank you for the warning - I'll stress this: Do not watch this if you are incapable of dealing with graphic depiction of eating disorders and/or attempted suicide. I was feeling tired, but now will now be up for the rest of the night, because apparently after nearly 10 years, I still can't deal with those things. I'm glad they didn't finish the video in the bathroom scene with someone else finding her, because that would have been way the hell too much.

While I have a visceral reaction to this, I'm glad she made this. And, um just as an unfortunate note to people, do not cut alone in the tub, you may not have the luxury of second guessing your own mortality. As such, you will probably actually die and/or fuck someone else up in the process if they find you in time.

Take pink's advice - find help, talk to people - councilors, police officers, firemen, the internet, whoever - just start a frickin dialogue. There are people who legitimately want you to be ok and to help you.

Pink is frickin awesome.
posted by Nanukthedog at 1:17 AM on January 23, 2011 [8 favorites]


I like her.

I liked her better before she said "parents need to beat the crap outta their kids".
posted by rodgerd at 1:31 AM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


I thought the video was/is good, I see P!nk as aiming it at girls but I just cannot imagine her not caring about a boy who was hurting, in fact I'd bet she'd get in anyones face if she saw someone treated badly, boy or girl or man or woman; she appears to be a good person, and strong, too, a standup gal. Who knows, maybe she sees herself as only being able to be heard by girls on this issue, only able to be related to on this issue by girls and not boys. If anyone, male or female, gains any strength from this vid, and this song -- and I bet one hell of a lot of people will gain strength, will feel that this fine woman is with them in their hell -- if anyone gains strength and/or solace in it, then she's done what she's wanted to do, she's succeeded. It's a powerful video -- jesus. She's facing the issue squarely.

I've known cutters of both sexes, mostly women but I've known men, too. Most of them online, a manic depression chat room I spent lots of time in eight or ten years ago, also a number of them in 12 step recovery programs. I'm not a cutter but I've surely got my share of self-destructive patterns, I have a sense of what they're about, and they've damn sure told me the high in it, both of damaging themselves -- and they see themselves as damaged goods, for sure -- and also getting high off the chemicals released.

Anyways. I trust this P!nk woman, seems to be someone here, someone good and real, so unusual to find that in a pop artist. (So maybe she's not a pop artist then, maybe she's an artist? Maybe I can let go all my preconceptions and trust her? I do.) And this video is strong, it grabbed me, brought me right back to a night when a friend of mine in that chat was slicing himself to bits, a real horror show; I knew where he lived, called the cops there, waited on phone with operator until they got to his place, he was committed for 3 days I think, the usual...

I hope that this helps people see themselves if they're hurting, and hurting themselves, I hope they can lean into her strong eyes and goodnesses and caring; in short, her love.
posted by dancestoblue at 1:38 AM on January 23, 2011 [5 favorites]


Lots of videos are 'not available in your country' in Germany, but it's just an issue with Youtube, go and look them up on google video and you'll get links to other websites. Russian websites have all the videos usually.

I just watched the video and as someone with some past experience of what is depicted I don't really find it upsetting at all, but I'm not too keen on it either. I appreciate what Pink does and she has this cool strong fun image, no issue with her, but for god's sake it's a music video, and it's still super glossy, and the didactic purpose can be so annoying in a music video, if it's so literal.

And in the end, what is the didactict part for really? Do you think anyone who's cutting or starving themselves will see the video and go oooh Pink is right, I should stop, put on some weight, put on my make up, go out to a bar and meet hunky boyfriend and have beautiful kids and be forever happy in the knowledge I'm fucking perfect?

Sorry to be so dismissive, obviously you can't expect much from a three minute video, and I can appreciate the intent and message of the lyrics. But the simplistic happy ending narrative/love yourself message is still annoying.

I just don't think it's the kind of stuff that belongs in a music video, no matter how genuinely you are trying to use it for awareness, it inevitably boils down to exploitation of these issues to promote your music and yourself.

Didn't Christina Aguilera do something similar with Beautiful?

Now, apples and oranges, but take REM's Everybody Cries. The video was great, because it was so *not* literal. It wasn't 'let's raise awareness', it was a song and a video about a human experience, and it felt personal. Imagine if they'd done it the Pink/Aguilera way instead. Showing people crying and cutting their wrists, and then someone coming along to help, and then them finding comfort and happiness and smiling at the end, eeeek...
posted by bitteschoen at 1:42 AM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


Just wanted to add, I'm not sure I fully understand what hincandenza is talking about, but my dislike of the video has nothing to do with anyhing of the sort. I don't see the problem there. Why on earth would a man be upset that the video is picturing a woman??
posted by bitteschoen at 1:56 AM on January 23, 2011 [4 favorites]


Very odd to hear the word "fuck" in such a Disneyesque pop song.
posted by dydecker


Woah. Your idea of Disney and mine are very different.

I posted the chorus of Fucking Perfect on Metatalk a little while ago when someone needed a lift. I got a mefimail from someone else thanking me (and zarq) for bringing that song into the thread because 'they really needed to hear that'.

Pink has given my kids and I great pleasure with rock-ish songs, pop-ish songs, funny songs, sad songs, heartfelt songs (and the best live performance EVER)... but that one time, my repeating her lyrics touched someone who needed it.

I'm sorry, hincandenza, but I'm not inviting you to dinner soon. It's just you and your hand tonight.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 2:07 AM on January 23, 2011 [8 favorites]


And, to be politically incorrectly honest... I'd much rather my 12 year old daughter watch the Fucking Perfect clip than any crap rap almost-naked-women-gyrating-against-fully-clothed-men-who-call-them-whores.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 2:12 AM on January 23, 2011 [11 favorites]


I'm sorry, hincandenza, but I'm not inviting you to dinner soon. It's just you and your hand tonight.

Wow, that's a pretty rude thing to say. Trying to imagine a comment like that directed toward you.
posted by phaedon at 2:16 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


Phaedon, it's always me and my hand tonight. If I was going to be rude, I would have said what I really thought. Instead I chose a Pink lyric as a pun. I apologise if it upsets you.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 2:20 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


no one writes a fucking song about it

Like A Bird On the Wire, Still Crazy After All These Years, Jeremy, Stuck In A Moment, Let Me In, Lithium, Vincent, The Noose, For My Brother, Sweet Pain, Come Undone, Desperado, I'm Still Here, Suffering, Mad World, Nothing To Lose, Hurt, One Last Breath, Objects In The Rear View Mirror

Here are nineteen male-gendered songs (either lyrically or intendedly, though sometimes not exclusively) regarding the pain, suffering and sometimes suicide of boys and men. It took me longer to link than to think of them. I could have named nineteen more, but I'd start sounding like that Family Guy joke with Stewie, Brian, and girl's name song titles.

or starts foundations to help.

RAINN, Boys Town, and everything listed here are non-gendered help organisations for suicide and abuse.

You are blowing out candles in order to make another brighter, which is a weak tactic. Funds given to RAINN were not funds diverted from prison reform. Jello-shot-flavored morning-after regret is not solely aimed at women, though even if it were I find it more than a little crapsack to call it that: some transgendered men are as at-risk of pregnancy after rape as women are, if you think this is a candy dish offered only for women.

Suicide, self-harm and abuse are everyone's problem, and if there are specifically-women's organisations out there to address it they correct problems in the system where women's health is not being addressed, not to shoulder away male suffering.

Pink's music video is wrenching, and as a thing apart so is the song. I don't think that a 'simplistic' love-yourself narrative is misplaced, not in the wake of rise-up messages like It Gets Better. I like this song. I like it like I like Katy Perry's Firework. I don't think marketed music is insincere by the nature of the beast; and I hope it reaches someone in need.
posted by monster truck weekend at 2:22 AM on January 23, 2011 [53 favorites]


hincandenza: "Even the non-profit, while it looks to be non-gender-specific, uses the name "To Write Love On Her Arms", just as our heroine in the video carved her frustrations into her forearm."

Just because the main character in this video is female doesn't mean the song can't equally apply to a male. And as I recall, the video for "Raise Your Glass" features gay male couples.

I think "To Write Love On Her Arms" was so named because the founder knew a female cutter, much like the foundation that runs 1-800-SUICIDE is named the Kristin Brooks Hope Center because of the suicide of Kristin Brooks. But it's 4:30am and I'm not going to go back to the "To Write Love" website looking to confirm that... I'm going to bed. If anyone else wants to research that, feel free. :)
posted by IndigoRain at 2:28 AM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


If I was going to be rude, I would have said what I really thought. Instead I chose a Pink lyric as a pun.

Oh cool, I wasn't aware of that song, I guess it's okay to tell a guy to go jerk himself off because you don't like what he has to say. Because it's clever!

Anyway. Wasn't blown away by the video. Felt a little superficial. But I admire Pink. She's in a higher stratosphere than most entertainers of her caliber.

I like it like I like Katy Perry's Firework.

Coincidentally directed by the same guy that did this video (and many of Missy Elliott's finest).
posted by phaedon at 2:39 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


Coincidentally directed by the same guy that did this video (and many of Missy Elliott's finest).

Holy shit! I had no idea. A beer to David Meyers.
posted by monster truck weekend at 2:44 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


Okay, listen -- I've dealt with involuntary suicidal ideation since I was fifteen. So, twenty-five years. There's pretty much not a day that goes by when I don't think about killing myself, even if it's just a fleeting, idle thought. Every day there's that voice in my head.

Sure, the whole "you're wonderful the way you are, love yourself and live" message going on in this song is "simplistic." That's because it *is* simple. Love yourself. Always, every day, be stronger than the voices in your head that are trying to kill you. Do just that.

I'm sorry if you're honestly jaded enough to hear this song and think it was performed for nothing more than fame and money. I'm sorry if you think its message is too simple.

But I need to hear it.
posted by webmutant at 3:35 AM on January 23, 2011 [37 favorites]


Very odd to hear the word "fuck" in such a Disneyesque pop song.
posted by dydecker at 7:22 AM on January 23


Seconding that. Musically that struck me as the purest , most formulaic cheese, and it made the use of "fuck" seem just... weird. Sort of shoehorned in there for no real reason. There's an art to effective swearing in songs and I do not think Pink has it. Not on this evidence, anyway.

Not trying to take anything away from the message, mind. I just thought it was rubbish music.
posted by Decani at 4:07 AM on January 23, 2011


I could see this working on the proverbial Kids These Days the same way Trouble Breathing and War On Drugs hit me about 6-8 years back.
posted by NoraReed at 4:27 AM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


but because once again I felt that jello-shot-flavored morning-after regret was getting more profile, funding, and focus than ritualized, incomprehensible dehumanization in prisons.

That is fucked up. So, RAINN is for women who regret sex the next morning? Not for women who have been raped? Or wait, no, it seems what your saying is date rape is actually just women who drank too much deciding afterward that they didn't want to have sex.

That is beyond fucked up. You do realize that supporting women who are raped does not take away from supporting men who are raped? Or that supporting women who are raped does not take away from other causes?

Or maybe you don't, as really, this is just beyond fucked up. Unfortunately, I have had no sleep and it is before 8 am on a Sunday morning so I can't even expound upon it.
posted by SuzySmith at 4:51 AM on January 23, 2011 [10 favorites]


hicandenza, you do realize the "i" in RAINN stands for incest, right? nothing to do with jello shots. also, the "a" is for abuse. also not jello shot related.
oh right... and rape. ...also not jello shot related.
posted by sio42 at 6:09 AM on January 23, 2011 [6 favorites]


available everywhere but Germany

I'm in Germany, too. Does anyone understand the rationale behind this? What do the big record labels stand to gain from blocking everything in Germany?
posted by sklero at 6:13 AM on January 23, 2011


Pink is a pretty great pop star.
posted by graventy at 6:21 AM on January 23, 2011 [3 favorites]


Does it make me a bad person that my first thought after seeing this powerful video was that someone needs to re-create the theatre scene from A Clockwork Orange but with Tiger Mom Amy Chua in the straitjacket and eye clamps being forced to watch this video over and over?
posted by localroger at 6:33 AM on January 23, 2011 [3 favorites]


Okay, I would like to clarify, didn't mean to sound too dismissive, I'm not 'jaded' about this and my point was not that it was 'performed just for fame and money', in fact seems the good intention sounds honest and heartfelt enough. I do appreciate that, and I'm thrilled if it helps anyone relate and feel better. Honestly.

I'm just saying I don't think it works like that for everyone, it doesn't for me for sure, and in general I don't think a music video is a good way to convey a direct, literal message of raising awareness about mental health issues.

(A music video *is* a promotional tool for one's music, that's a fact, nothing wrong with that by all means, and nothing wrong with sending over literal messages to raise awareness about mental issues, I just don't think the two go together so well... )


Now, I didn't want to go into personal details, but let me picture the reaction to this video from a younger fucked up me, watching a beautiful, strong, successful popstar sing over the story of a very pretty girl who, within the inevitably constrained space of a 3 minute song, goes from hating herself, starving herself, cutting herself, trying to kill herself, to finding release and success in art, getting better all by herself as if by magic, meeting her handsome boyfriend, having a lovely daughter, and looking back at her life with that slightly sad but wiser look of a person who can say 'I made it through all this'...

Do I have to spell out how I would have reacted back then? Let's just say it would not have made me feel better. It would have been like adding insult to injury.

Now, today, a lot has changed, I'm not upset, I can at least appreciate the intention and any form of support for an organisation that helps people with these issues, and I do know that yes, the core 'message' boils down to something as simple as 'love yourself'. Absolutely.

But the way to get there can be very long and complicated, and not just a matter of sheer optimism and well-meaning intentions.
Sometimes you need help, a lot of help, to be able to even start to "change the voices in your head". But you can't expect to condense all that in a 3 minute music video, obviously. So you leave it out, and you make it look so easy! And you put a nice happy ending to it, a minute and a half after you've seen the girl slashing her wrists in the tub! It's a video after all! And you know what? It's not fair, and it could even be counterproductive, or even dangerous, for some people, if you give this impression it's all so easy. That's what's annoying me.

Even on issues like these, I think a video can work a lot better by just telling a story, or presenting vivid images to match the song, evoking a mood or a sentiment, rather than spelling it out. But then you have to let the story/image speak for itself. Trying to do both, storytelling and didactic message, in this kind of medium, to me, it's just trivialising it all, no matter how good the intentions may be.
posted by bitteschoen at 6:51 AM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


I was saddened by her support for RAINN- not because I disagreed with the principles of that organization which are fine in and of themselves, but because once again I felt that jello-shot-flavored morning-after regret was getting more profile, funding, and focus than ritualized, incomprehensible dehumanization in prisons.

Jello shots?

Rape is not the fault of the victim. It's an inhuman, vicious act committed by one person against another for which there is no justification. A person doesn't invite sexual assault by their actions or the way they dress. Neither does a minor being abused in any way by a family member.

Perhaps this wasn't your intent, but your statement is problematic. Moreso when considered in historical context. Victims of rape and sexual assault have often been dismissed when they stepped forward to speak out against their accusers. This still happens in many areas of the world. The victims are told they asked to be raped and/or violated, by dressing or acting a certain way. That they somehow deserved it.

Please don't perpetuate that. It's damaging and wrong.
posted by zarq at 7:27 AM on January 23, 2011 [14 favorites]


That was surprisingly powerful, more so than I was expecting from a so-so pop song. The f-bomb didn't really work, though -- it was supposed to intensify the message (not just perfect, but fucking perfect), but I think it almost did the reverse.

I've certainly never met them, but my impression is that Pink, along with Lady Gaga, Shakira, and Christina Aguilera, among others, have a lot more musical talent and political commitment than their over-produced and often pretty cheesy albums would suggest. I've always tended to dismiss them as light weight fluff, and then I am repeatedly surprised (though I shouldn't be) by something like this. I still don't much like the music, but I need to give them more credit as artists.
posted by Forktine at 7:52 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


I just want to register my profound disapproval of almost everything hincandeza said.

I do think the song kind of sucks, though.
posted by empath at 8:25 AM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


my impression is that Pink, along with Lady Gaga, Shakira, and Christina Aguilera, among others, have a lot more musical talent and political commitment than their over-produced and often pretty cheesy albums would suggest.

Nathan Rabin, writing for the AV Club's 'Then That's What They Call Music,' just mentioned Pink. I can't decide if he agrees, or if he's trying to have it both ways, or if he likes Pink but not Avril Lavigne:

For young women inundated with pop culture’s constant, destructive messages, Pink’s Beyonce-by-way-of-Joan Jett theme of “Fuck you and your drink, I’m all the company I need tonight” must sound cathartic.

But, a little later:

Like Pink, Avril Lavigne has gotten way too much praise for deviating ever so slightly from the teen-pop factory that gave the world Britney Spears and an army of imitators.
posted by box at 8:42 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


Pink and Lady Gaga > Shakira and Christina Aguilera

It's unfortunate for Pink that the pop nature of her music undermines it's credibility.
posted by Xoebe at 9:00 AM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


bitteschoen: Your comment reminded me of Scottish SF writer Hal Duncan's great contribution to the It Gets Better project. That's exactly how he feels his younger self would have responded to a lot of the videos in the project.


(on another note, the really odd thing to me about the troll in this thread is that presumably he's a fan of Infinite Jest -- it's bizarre to me that a DFW fan would exhibit such a lack of self-awareness.)
posted by slappy_pinchbottom at 9:16 AM on January 23, 2011 [7 favorites]


This song strikes me as what Avril Lavigne would like to grow up to write, if she were to grow up enough to want to write it. I'm totally the wrong demographic for it, and I felt like the production, both musical and video, was jerking my chain emotionally, but I can see what it was aiming for. It's hard not to approve of the desire to help.

(Nthing the disapproval toward hincandenza's comments. Way to reinforce stereotypes, not least about Men Who Have To Make It About Them.)
posted by immlass at 9:41 AM on January 23, 2011


I was saddened by her support for RAINN- not because I disagreed with the principles of that organization which are fine in and of themselves, but because once again I felt that jello-shot-flavored morning-after regret was getting more profile, funding, and focus than ritualized, incomprehensible dehumanization in prisons.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Cmon, you're just saying incredibly dumb shit purely for the sake of saying incredibly dumb shit. "jello-shot-flavored morning-after regret"? That is so far into an attempt at "cleverer than thou" that you should be completely ashamed for writing it. Even if you actually think that, there's absolutely no reason to write it.
posted by nevercalm at 10:17 AM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


Damn, I could listen to Hal Duncan rant all day–jus not wi' me wee children in the room!
posted by Mister_A at 10:20 AM on January 23, 2011


The song is fairly meh. The video kind of a taer jerker, but not really great in any way.
Pretty weak sauce.
posted by signal at 10:54 AM on January 23, 2011


That music is fucking perfect terrible unbearable. Pink. Stop singing. Forever. Thank you.
posted by dgaicun at 11:35 AM on January 23, 2011


I liked the video. I like Pink. Thanks for the post.
posted by rtha at 11:47 AM on January 23, 2011 [3 favorites]


Oddly enough, the thing that bothered me was the art gallery scene where she's supposed to have "made it". It seems like she'd traded one form of perfection for another. Body hate becomes creative expression- and everyone loves her paintings.

The reality of being okay is not the big achievements- not the art gallery show anymore than the fitting into the ideal dress. Being 'perfect' means perfection in a job that pays the bills but isn't going anywhere, a relationship that's comfortable but not going to be the stuff of grand romances. It's being sleep deprived sometimes and having a giant pimple on your chin and nobody making a big deal out of you.
posted by Phalene at 12:09 PM on January 23, 2011 [6 favorites]


Yeah, Phalene, I'm with you; I might have liked it better if her success wasn't "success+man+kid" but instead her with friends, being happy, or doing activist work, or something, not focused on her relationships.

BUT, it's a small quibble. This is an amazing video.
posted by emjaybee at 12:31 PM on January 23, 2011


I'm sure the fact that Pink is pregnant with her first child - a girl - in this video has quite a bit to do with its subject matter. She doesn't do stuff like this for no reason.

Tina Majorino is mouthing the words "you are perfect to me" to her daughter in bed at the end of the video, and that's the message I took away from it: Pink doesn't want her own daughter to grow up brainwashed into believing that she isn't perfect the way she is already... no matter what that might mean, even though she isn't born yet.

We should all be so lucky to have such supportive, strong parents. And if she'd done the video showing a young man going through the same things, it still would've been a powerful message, I think - but of course since she's a woman pregnant with a female child, I can see why it was more personal (for both her fans and herself) to use a female protagonist who eventually has her own daughter in the video.

And yes, men have their own problems with rape, abuse, self-harm and depression, but in regards to sexual assault, it seems that 1 in 3 women experience it at some point but only 13% of men in the course of their lifetime globally. I'm sure these numbers are off due to under-reporting.

Sorry you feel the way you do, hincandenza, but when you're talking about 1/3 of the population for women globally, of course people are going to try and bring more awareness to the table through organizations like RAINN.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 12:32 PM on January 23, 2011 [6 favorites]


When I was younger and confused and depressed, I would have hated this (as I would have thought of it) trite preachy garbage. This is pretty much the opposite of the music that touched me, comforted me, made me feel I wasn't alone and helped lift me up. It's just so....calculated. It doesn't feel like it comes from a place of personal experience, even if it actually does. I'm fucking perfect? That's nice. The 'fuck' shows you're totally serious, too! Wow, all my problems are gone now! Thanks Pink!

Which is sad, because I think Pink probably does care, and really does want to help in her own way.
posted by Windigo at 1:38 PM on January 23, 2011 [3 favorites]


I'm curious about whether those of you who disliked the song primarily because of the word fuck also listened to the "clean" radio edit which replaces "Fuckin' Perfect" with "Less than Perfect" and if that improved it at all for you?
posted by zarq at 2:08 PM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


I love Pink.

This is maybe not the better of her songs in terms of musicality. I'll grant folks that, and it could seem a little trite, except that it's Pink. Pink has a history of calling people out, of sharing some bad shit, and of basically being her own, "It Gets Better" project for some number of young people (yes, probably mostly girls) out there. She also knows how to fun, and she knows how to freaking stand up for herself. And she abides by the law (watch the episode of "Punk'd" that featured her. It's HILLLARIOUS).

As for you, hincandenza, if you were ever the Tori fan you claim once to have been, then you damn well know her own history with rape. It might be she supports RAINN because, you know, she was fucking raped herself? And people tend to support causes that are close to them. And the jello-shot comment? Shit, dude. That's just an asshole comment. My hope is you're not an asshole, but that was an asshole comment completely unwarranted and completely offensive to the numerous members of this community who have histories of sexual assault and abuse and who many may have found comfort in organizations like RAINN.
posted by zizzle at 5:25 PM on January 23, 2011 [4 favorites]


I like P!nk, and I like that she's willing to be imperfect -- which is interesting in the context of the song, being as I'm pretty sure she knows the difference between actually perfect and "fucking perfect" the way she's putting it forward here.

Being fucking perfect, understanding you are fucking perfect, is understanding that you are unconditionally loved - the protagonist in the video unconditionally loves her daughter, and wants her to know that. Of course, the crap thing about being a parent, one of them anyway, has got to be that you can't make your kids know you love them. It's the precipice of a situation you control totally (babies, you can do in the main what you like) to a situation you cannot control at all (your kid grows up!). It's as much about being a parent as it is about telling kids who are suffering they are "fucking perfect."

She's being pretty vulnerable, and has always been pretty public about the relative messiness of her life - it's something to be admired, I think. I've said it in the past, but regardless of the musical merit of *this song in particular* - give me this woman every time over Britney.
posted by Medieval Maven at 5:37 PM on January 23, 2011 [4 favorites]


i think gaga, palmer, madonna is a good song to drop in this thread. it makes some points about being a mostly naked pop star, an artist, and female.
posted by nadawi at 5:44 PM on January 23, 2011 [8 favorites]


I actually 'discovered' pink through metafilter, after the post about her Grammy performance, and I've really grown to enjoy and respect her stuff. I don't think people appreciate sometimes how very difficult it is to pull something like this off - a pop song that's so utterly earnest and addresses a very difficult thing, but that is still actually a good fucking pop song, and isn't utterly cheese-festival.

Thanks for posting.
posted by Lutoslawski at 7:46 PM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


Tina Majorino is mouthing the words "you are perfect to me" to her daughter in bed at the end of the video, and that's the message I took away from it:

I took that scene as her telling her eight year old self that she was perfect. I found that pretty poignant (though admittedly cheesy). I'm in my mid-thirties and I still find myself giving the miserable, fucked-up thirteen year old version of me (she's never exactly that far from the surface) the occasional pep talk.
posted by thivaia at 8:08 PM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


I really like the song and video, I also thought it was an imperfect execution of an idea. Not that there is anything wrong with that. The idea was pretty clear as was her intention and it was a great effort at conveying an idea thru her art. I don't know how I can not respect that, esp when I agree with the idea.

Are there troubled kids out there who could use a similar message to this but would be turned off by her presentation of the message? Sure I have no doubt about that. However I am certain there are others who could benefit from the message and would take what they need from her expression of this idea of self love. Others may experience empathy for others who need to hear this message but don't.

She can't be and shouldn't try to be everything to everyone. Her message will hit home for some people and that is all that matters. Other people will make different art and it will reach a different audience. Some people need Ani, some people need Tori, some people need P!nk and some need something else. I think all of them have created great art that means something to them and have reached lots of people who befitted from their art.

One size does not fit all, nothing new there. Also nadawi, thanks for the link to gaga, palmer, madonna. I saw that when she first posted it and fell in love with it. I honestly think it's an amazing creative work that would only benefit a little if any from better production.
posted by MrBobaFett at 9:06 PM on January 23, 2011 [4 favorites]


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