Favorites from melissa
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How to be sad
How do I cope with sadness without trying to avoid it or push it away?
How to improve energy levels to reverse declining health?
I have health issues that cause fatigue. Exercise could lessen these, but I lack the energy to do so. What dietary changes can I make to get the energy to exercise?
cooking with beer
Today is my 40th birthday, so to celebrate, I bought a 40oz bottle of Bud Light in order to post a jokey photo on Facebook. I had no intention of drinking it; I don’t drink beer, and even when I did, I didn’t ever really drink BL, as they used to call it in high school. But I am intrigued by the possibility of cooking with it. How?
Need Alternative Ways to Get Greens into Diet
After a string of majorly gross incidents with take out salads, I need to find another way to get my greens so my diet doesn't consist solely of brown, yellow, and orange foods. So far I have been putting spinach and spirulina into my smoothies. Now I'd like to expand into soups. Vegetarian recipe recommendations, please? (No kale. I will not eat it ever.)
Infographic hell
Looking for resources and guidance on good design of infographics in printed reports/ PDFs.
Designers: Which training to take?
I am a mediocre* graphic designer working in-house for a huge company. It's not a great place to work and I'd like to move on in the next 6 months. I don't think I'd enjoy working at an agency, nor do I think I have the chops or past experience for it. I'd rather stay in-house, but I'd like to bulk up my skills to make me a more desirable candidate (and also to have more fun and challenge myself). What should I learn?
Help me get over this mistake and request more helpful feedback
The way that I get feedback on my work is driving me up the wall and I need help separating out my own issues so I can request it in a more helpful way! I’m a freelancer, and for the past 7 years I’ve worked remotely with the sole employee of a design studio for virtually all of my work. I consider her to be essentially my boss but we obviously don’t have a typical employee/manager formal relationship.
Your best bug bite remedies!
Now in the northern hemisphere, it's summer and that means bug bite season. I always get bitten a lot and my bites usually itch like hell.
Is there a bug bite remedy you swear by? Salt has helped when the bites are open, but I'm trying to nip them before they get too angry.
What should I pay for a 2016 Toyota Rav4?
I want to buy a 2016 Rav4 which is listed for $20,000 — is right now during covid an opportunity for a cheaper price? And if I'm paying cash, how much should I offer?
It's the end of the world as we know it and I can't get anything done
I and a lot of other people I know are having difficulty with accomplishing much during this time. This is not the first time of crisis in the world; surely someone has has come up with some ideas at some point.
Talking about BLM protests with my white partner
My husband is white; I'm Asian-American. We live in New York City. We are trying to talk about the BLM protests happening in our country. I'm troubled by his responses. I know one of the best things we can do right now is have these difficult conversations with loved ones and confront our own bias and racism--- but I'm struggling and need help.
Articles/anec-data dealing with COVID-19 working/parenting at home?
I'm feeling... unseen right now as a person in a partnership where both of us have equal (online, non-"essential") work responsibilities and pay, who have a young child to manage during this time. I'm not the only one here... right? right?
What should I do with a big bag of mini sweet peppers?
I bought a bag of mini sweet peppers that is way too big. Any suggested recipes welcome, especially ones that will likely require not leaving the house to buy more ingredients. (My own bonus mini sweet peppers recipe inside)
The most fun you can have with the lights on
Help me think of indoor activities for couples, besides the obvious one. (Or, at the risk of chatfilter: what hobbies and projects are you and your partner doing to pass the quarantime together?)
Self care/hygiene products for tween girls?
My daughter is looking down the barrel of puberty, and has started talking about wanting skin care products, etc. but won't use mine and has no input as to what she actually would like to use. What are the 11-13 year old kids these days using on their skin/as deodorant/ anything else that I can think of, etc? (What's new in the world of menstrual products?) Cheers!
Love in the time of coronavirus
My partner has begun saying that he doesn't want to discuss politics or current affairs with me, because I'm all "gloom and doom" and "overly pessimistic". Is this something that can be worked on together?
Kids have no school for a month (coronavirus/COVID-19). Who's got ideas?
Board games? Great learning apps? Ways to burn off energy? Ways to not go stir crazy? Ways to get out of the house safely? Safe to have people come over (friends, piano teachers)? Help please!
How to deal with self-doubt/fear as a new freelancer
Struggling with crippling self-doubt and fear as I start to freelance. How much is normal, and how do I address it and cope with it better?
Digital or tech freelancers, how do you charge for the odd hour?
Or do you at all?
I've recently come into a rich vein of freelancer fortune with a couple of digital agencies in my town. Having been on a retainer or fixed fee with previous clients, I'm not sure how this whole day rate thing works. Questions inside...
Metatalktails: "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to dill* you" edition
For today's Metatalktail Hour topic, we want to know what's the secret in your secret sauce? Do you have a special dish with a top-secret ingredient that puts it over the top? Tell, tell, tell!
Looking for learning resources on self-development...
After a series of life crisis, I finally have myself pulled back together enough to feel better and want to start learning something again. I know I am no longer able to continue my previous career path, due to my own health and anxiety issues, I would like to learn something new that's creative (and healthy), which I can also apply to future jobs in general.
Help a Canadian Stay In Her Own Lane
Of late years, I've become so consumed by what's going on south of the border that I am embarrassingly uninformed about what's going on in my own country. I want to correct that. What are the best Canadian/Ontarian/Torontonian political Twitter accounts/Facebook pages? I already follow the worthwhile major Canadian news outlets, and most of my elected leaders/representatives. I'm looking for good politicians, reporters, critics, and lesser known publications to follow. In general, I want social media accounts that will infuse my newsfeed with intelligent, reliable coverage and analysis of Canadian news and politics. What do you suggest?
Was offered a contract with my previous laid-off job. Should I bite?
The department within the organization I used to work for, but was laid off back in the fall, has offered me a contracted job, specifically to manage a system I used to manage when working there full-time. I'm torn if I should take this opportunity or not.
Where do you go for graphic design trends?
I used to have a handful of quality, forward looking websites/blogs that I could reference for graphic design trends. My very favorite was something like "graphicporn" or "designporn" or something that was a play on the idea that it was graphic design eye candy. I tried both those options and neither came up and due to the word porn I obviously can't google. So, where do you go when you need some visual eye candy?
I recently was laid off and want to enjoy myself, what do I do?
I was laid off this week during a reorg at my company leaving me with a decent severance that will financially cover me for a few months. I have been working with very little vacation or free time for years now and after letting everything soak in, decided to start planning on what to do with my free time for the next few weeks. It's a challenge! Help me make the most of this time.
You had crushing anxiety. Now you don't. Tell me about it!
I know there are a lot of questions about anxiety, but I'm hoping for excellent success stories on managing it.
We just finished Harry Potter... what next?
The kids loved Harry Potter, couldn't get into Pratchett's Truckers, what's next?
How to stop emotional reactions at work
How do I let go of a sense of ownership over work that I am paid to produce? Too often, I find myself overly frustrated and angered when people criticise work I have done. No one benefits from my getting angry. It's just bad for me. It would be better if I didn't care, but how can I learn to care less?
How to nice-ify work emails?
I'm nice in person but my work emails are mean. How can I fix my tone?
And the wall is blank
I used to be very creative, but for the past few years, my mind feels like it's hitting a wall when I try to think of stuff. What is causing this blank, and how do I go back to where I was?
Quick Question, What Is The Point Of Anything?
I suffer from depression. Even when I am doing well, I always sort of wonder what the point of anything is. Details inside.
How do you know when you're stressed?
How do you recognize stress in yourself?
How to manage a reading list for multiple libraries?
I have Overdrive from 3 libraries, Hoopla Digital from 2 libraries, and I guess I could have Libby from them as well if I wanted. I'm tired of checking all of these places for books, audiobooks, and comics. I also don't like that my wish list basically lives in one library and not the others. Is there a way to better manage all of this? A justwatch.com for books?
Help a mom figure out what to do with her weekends!
Now that my kid is self-sufficient at 8 years old, I think I've forgotten what to do with myself on the weekends! I have a few well-established priorities (exercise, home cooked healthy meals) and vague future goals (music, volunteering, spend more time with my friends) and things I always think I should be doing more of (quality time with kiddo), a regular list of weekend chores (laundry etc), plus a never-ending list of homeowner to-dos ... but I wake up every Saturday morning with absolutely no idea what to do, in terms of what I want to do and what I need to do. I do have a fair amount of kid-free time now, as he spends a lot of time out with his dad. I dunno, I guess I had come to depend on the hourly structure that used to be set from having a small kid, and now I have no idea what to do with the lack of structure? Help??
Should I access free ID theft insurance and monitoring?
I am in Canada. My health data may have been stolen in a cyberattack on lab test provider Life Labs in late October. The company paid ransom to get data back and is offering potentially affected clients one year of free identity theft insurance and dark web monitoring through American consumer credit reporting agency TransUnion. This probably seems like a silly question, but I’m tired and stressed, and feeling suspicious of everything at the moment: Are there any downsides to accessing this service? Reassurance about the Canada/US cross-border info privacy angle particularly welcome.
Graphic-Designer-Filter: sanity check on quoting a huge project?
I've been asked to submit a quote for something that's an order of magnitude longer (literally 10x) than what I usually do. Should I just 10x my usual quote, ie enough to buy a brand new car? Or is that insane? I know there are lots of blog posts out there about how to price graphic design projects, but either they are too vague or they focus on things I don't do (logos, illustration, etc). I just need a sanity check here, and if you want to share some of your pricing strategies that would be appreciated.
Graphic novel recommendation for 11 year old?
What's a great graphic novel to give a smart fifth grade girl for Christmas? She looooves El Deafo and isn't that into sci fi or fantasy. I saw this askme from 2 years ago, newer recommendations are appreciated!
Family bonding ideas with an only child
My husband and I have a nine year old daughter. The three of us all have great 2-way relationships, but I find it hard to feel a sense of cohesion as a family. When the three of us are together, it's hard to all feel connected. Do other families of 3 find this? What has helped develop a sense of cohesion for parents with a single child?
I will crush you like an insect
I enjoy threatening my children using cartoonish supervillain-type phrases. Please tell me your favourite over-the-top threats - they are quite small children so the threats need to be hugely, obviously ludicrous.
Also keen to hear any collective terms I could start using to address them, along the lines of "pesky/meddling kids".
Holiday coziness for kids
Life is chaotic right now, and we need some coziness and together time. Unfortunately, I'm not in the easiest place, mentally, for making that happen effortlessly. I need a list, and I need inspiration. Can you share your favorite seasonal activities for creating a cozy atmosphere?
Feminist Pregnancy Book Needed (Fiction or Essay Anthology Edition)
Friends of AskMe, I find myself with child, after two years of trying and two rounds of IUI fertility treatment. I am having a lot of Thoughts and Feelings, and I yearn for reading about feminist perspectives on the experience of pregnancy, whether it leads to birth or not.
Therefore, I find myself in need of a Feminist Pregnancy Book.
Teach me how to infographic
With support from my supervisor and colleague, I need to summarize relevant aspects of a very complex topic (immigration law) in a way that my colleagues can understand and apply to the program that we oversee. I'm looking at this book, this one, this one, and this one. I'm interested in MOOCs, books, videos, or any resource that will help me go from basically zero knowledge to proficiency. I am technical and have design skills, but building a complex infographic is currently beyond my skill level. Help?
Returning to Work Vacation Blues
About half-way through a trip (as I am now) I feel down about my impending return to work, because I don't want to get sucked back into the world I don't realize I'm in when I'm in the grind, a world which I likely won't be able to discern again until next vacation. Obviously general despair is not a good strategy - how else could I handle this?
Online odd jobs/self-employment (sung to the tune of TMNT)
I need to earn some money but I'm physically isolated and dealing with some health issues, at least for the time being. Is there online work that's somewhat flexible? Any income is better than none, so it doesn't need to be a miracle, just something to keep me busy and keep my head above water.
What Do You Use To Store Digital Files
Hi Folks,
Quick question - what do you use to store sensitive files such as tax returns, medical records, etc.
Dropbox doesn't offer encryption - I'd like a place to store the files in a safe way; also, if they can be stored online and not on my hard drive, that would safe me a lot of space.
Women artists with characteristics I like about Steely Dan?
Lately I've been binge-listening to Steely Dan, even though my usual taste in music runs more toward spare, angular post-punk. Are there any women artists with qualities similar to the ones I admire in their music -- the obsessive perfectionism, the complex arrangements, the cold, sardonic feel with an occasional hard-earned bit of warmth underneath? In any genre -- doesn't have to be jazz-influenced pop/rock at all.
An appropriate penpal matching service for an idealistic tween
So, the young human who lives in my house wants a penpal. She's a wholesome, happy tween. And we want to keep her that way. She says she "just wants to connect with and learn about someone else who has a different life." I'm thinking another tween, maybe someone outside the US who wants to practice their English. How do we find this person and connect them, without accidentally exposing her to a chester-chester child molester or something?
How to tell boss my parent has a terminal illness. Complication inside
I've recently learned that my mother has been diagnosed with a cancer that won't be cured. Her medical team is figuring out a treatment plan that will keep things at bay to give her as much quality time as she can have. We are all devastated. I'm struggling with what/how much to tell my boss.
How do I talk to my husband about his hypochondria?
Every time someone in the household is sick, my husband gets sick too. How can I make him stop?
Why do we still mail things to places instead of people?
Each apartment I’ve lived in my address has changed. :( And when, for example, my aunt sends me a package four years after moving to my old address I’ll never see it. But with the contemporary computerized world why haven’t we changed that? I mean I figure you could just go to the post office and just get a “post number” that was unique to you for all time. And that number could be associated with your current address. Then people wanting to mail you will always put that “post number” on the package and regardless of where your living the package would arrive there! The problem of shipping to an old address would mostly be gone. I wouldn’t have to update my address on 500 DIFFERENT WEBSITES WHEN I MOVED!! Why hasn’t this change come to regular old snail mail? What am I missing?