The Ultimate In-N-Out Secret Menu (and Super Secret Menu!) Survival Guide
March 7, 2011 7:37 AM   Subscribe

 
Internet Food Photos Rule #1: Cheese melted on meat only ever looks appetizing in person.
posted by DU at 7:41 AM on March 7, 2011 [3 favorites]


I know it's kind of lame at this point but this has been bugging me and is perfect.

Eponysterical?
posted by polyhedron at 7:41 AM on March 7, 2011


I live in the South. Whenever In-N-Out comes up on the internet (more often that reason would imply), I feel like I know how all those Canadians feel when we talk about Hulu.

So in that way, by teaching me about empathy, In-N-Out is making me a better person. Also by teaching me to try grilling burgers with mustard.
posted by penduluum at 7:45 AM on March 7, 2011 [4 favorites]


This Northeasterner went to In & Out last time he was in Vegas (accompanied by another MeFi couple). It was pretty fucking badass.
posted by jonmc at 7:48 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh god. I hate In-n-Out (well, hate is too strong a word but they are only a step above McDonalds on my list of places I'll eat at, and I loathe McDonalds) but my boyfriend adores them. I suspect there will be resigned consumption in my future.

(thin patty, bland bun, GODAWFUL fries, sneaking in religious nonsense into my fast food, the only good thing about the place is the milkshakes and I can get a good milkshake at about a dozen places that have -better- burgers)
posted by FritoKAL at 7:48 AM on March 7, 2011 [4 favorites]


This is pretty fun, though I'm normally ~5 hours from the nearest one (Redding) and it's something that, when I am in California, I don't go out of my way to eat (too busy eating tacos). I have to say that I don't really get the hype--it's way better than any fast food burger, I definitely concede that point, but I think diner burgers are generally better, not to mention that the best such chain is in the Northwest...oh, and the creepy Biblical verses on the bottom of the cups turn me off. Obviously, YMMV.
posted by nonmerci at 7:49 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


I didn't realize people hated their fries. I find them delicious, but apparenty they're notorious.
posted by polyhedron at 7:49 AM on March 7, 2011


The best fast food fries are at Nathan's, actually.
posted by jonmc at 7:51 AM on March 7, 2011 [3 favorites]


The fries are awful. The burgers are average. The secret menu is silly.
posted by y6y6y6 at 7:53 AM on March 7, 2011


Greetings, killjoy.
posted by jonmc at 7:53 AM on March 7, 2011 [2 favorites]


My beloved White Castle has some off-menu items, like the notorious Surf & Turf.
posted by jonmc at 7:54 AM on March 7, 2011


Marketing department: "Let's make a *secret* menu. Then charge more for everything on it!"
posted by mecran01 at 7:55 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


The fries are awful, the burgers are average. The secret menu is (even to a hater like me) pretty neat and fun.
posted by FritoKAL at 7:58 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


In-N-Out is coming to DFW, and I am looking forward to trying it, but the level of hype has been pretty ridiculous. We've had plenty of great burger places around here for ages.
posted by kmz at 7:59 AM on March 7, 2011


You'd probably be surprised how many restaurants have "secret" menus.

e.g.: every Chinese place on the planet, and most of the Thai places.
posted by aramaic at 7:59 AM on March 7, 2011 [6 favorites]


Not as good as Shake Shack, but fries in the burger sounds good.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:59 AM on March 7, 2011


In-n-Out coming to Dallas. Maybe more cities in Texas, if I'm reading between the lines in the article correctly.

If you're in Austin, P. Terrys is the place to go. Mighy fine? No way. Five Guys? Please.
posted by Daddy-O at 8:03 AM on March 7, 2011


FTA: "Awesome! I've been waiting for this day ever since I started working here!"

That pretty much sums up In-N-Out (and yes, I've known people who worked there).

Marketing department: "Let's make a *secret* menu. Then charge more for everything on it!"


Yeah, no. It had nothing to do with the marketing department, to my knowledge (and my knowledge has been enhanced by this awesome book about In-N-Out). It's just how In-N-Out rolls. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure some of the items on the secret menu are cheaper than regular menu items (I've never really tested it too much, because I freakin' love the Double Double and why fix perfection?).

The fries are sub-par when compared to McDonald's but the burgers and shakes are awesome. In fact, I'm craving a Double Double right now and it's 10am and I'm 1700 miles away from the closest In-n-Out.
posted by librarylis at 8:03 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh god. I hate In-n-Out (well, hate is too strong a word but they are only a step above McDonalds on my list of places I'll eat at, and I loathe McDonalds) but my boyfriend adores them. I suspect there will be resigned consumption in my future.

Said boyfriend went to get In-n-Out last week on his day off so that he wouldn't subject his girlfriend to food he knows she is indifferent too. :)

(and is it sad that I kind of predicted your comment when I saw the FPP? <3)
posted by Tknophobia at 8:04 AM on March 7, 2011 [13 favorites]


I love In-n-Out for a good fast food style burger, but this whole "secret menu" thing baffles me. Part of the charm of In-n-Out is they have, like, two items on their menu. It's nice that they'll do extra stuff for you if you ask (and honestly, grilled onions are better), but it disrupts the design of the place somehow.

I went to Five Guys in Florida over Christmas. It seemed identical to In-n-Out, same flavours, almost same decor. I'm glad quality fast food is catching on.
posted by Nelson at 8:04 AM on March 7, 2011


Not as good as Shake Shack, but fries in the burger sounds good.

Shake Shack is overrated. Paul's on 2nd Ave near St. Marks is waaay better.
posted by jonmc at 8:04 AM on March 7, 2011 [2 favorites]


My friend used to order 6x6's. He says the 7x7 is just too much food. I'm sad to hear that some stores won't make those anymore.

Also, I kind of love how the author felt the need to explain what a root beer float is. Is that actually some sort of regional thing?
posted by muddgirl at 8:05 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


Does Five Guys have a secret menu? If not, why not? Do you figure if I ask for animal-style, they'll know what I mean?
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:06 AM on March 7, 2011


My friend used to order 6x6's. He says the 7x7 is just too much food.

The 100 x 100.
posted by Joe Beese at 8:07 AM on March 7, 2011


I am pretty sure Five Guys has no secret menu. But they do list all the toppings and stuff that they have on the menu, you can order whatever damn combination you want.

And pro tip: order the Cajun fries. Ignore the ketchup.
posted by silby at 8:07 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


Does Five Guys have a secret menu? If not, why not? Do you figure if I ask for animal-style, they'll know what I mean?

If not, they'll simply throw it in a doggie bowl and wait for you to beg.
posted by jonmc at 8:07 AM on March 7, 2011


__________ is overrated, if you really like burgers you should be eating at __________.
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 8:08 AM on March 7, 2011 [23 favorites]


I am looking forward to Texas In-n-Outs but I think I'd rather see more P. Terry's restaurants. Yum.
posted by polyhedron at 8:10 AM on March 7, 2011


I remember one Friday night in high school. Nothing to do in our small town, so a bunch of us piled into my Subaru and went on an In-N-Out run. Finally arrived at Sacramento tired and hungry, and ordered a ton of food. Our server noticed we were all pretty road-weary, and so he asked what we were up to. Told him, "Oh, got a craving for In-N-Out and decided to make the trip for some burgers." He asked where we were from, and we told him "North of Seattle."

"Washington?!"

"Yeah."

He starts laughing and says "I'll be right back." He comes back with the manager, who asks, "So you guys really drove all the way down here from Seattle just to get In-N-Out burgers?" "Pretty much, yep!" We went home with a lot of free swag. Hats, shirts, it was pretty fun.
posted by xedrik at 8:10 AM on March 7, 2011 [20 favorites]


if you really like burgers you should be eating at __________.

Here, actually. A double cheeseburger with bacon & chili, accompanied by a Brutal Dog (Red Hot Sausage topped with chili, cheese and bacon) is sheer greasy bliss.
posted by jonmc at 8:13 AM on March 7, 2011



Shake Shack is overrated. Paul's on 2nd Ave near St. Marks is waaay better.


There is always a LINE OUT THE DOOR at the Shake Shack and I do not understand it. There is an upper limit to how good a burger can be.

I figure they must be visitors, if you knew the place you'd know there are four places within spitting distance that do a equal or better burger.
posted by The Whelk at 8:13 AM on March 7, 2011




if you really like burgers you should be eating at my house. I make the best burgers.

So there.
posted by The Whelk at 8:13 AM on March 7, 2011


why fix perfection?

Two words. Chopped. Chilis.

This is going to revolutionize my next Double-Double, animal style. I love me some chili peppers.
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 8:17 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


I make the best burgers.
The Whelk, What time is dinner?
posted by pointystick at 8:17 AM on March 7, 2011 [2 favorites]


Not visiting In-N-Out while visiting Las Vegas is my only regret. Unrelated, but, every restaurant we ate at was horrible (oddly enough the more expensive the establishment the worse it was.) If it hadn't been for room service at the Flamingo we would have starved to death.
posted by papercrane at 8:18 AM on March 7, 2011


The thing is that In-N-Out doesn't have a secret menu, they have a customizable menu-- if they can make it for you, they'll make it for you. You want a grilled cheese sandwich? Well, they have cheese, and a grill, and buns, so: sure. That doesn't make it a Secret Menu. Everything that is standardized off-the-menu stuff (like Animal Style or Protein Style) is only standardized become someone at some point started ordering the same customization every time he or she went to In-N-Out and popularized that combination of customizations and knowledge spread to other chain locations.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:18 AM on March 7, 2011 [2 favorites]


I don't know Whelk, a chicken burger from P. Terry's after an afternoon on the Greenbelt is a wonderful thing. Their real burgers are awesome too.

I like a simple burger done right more than a crazy burger with a bunch of toppings. I enjoy both, but simple high qualty ingredients stand on their own.

Shakespeherian, then why wouldn't they put the fries on the burger? That surprised me.
posted by polyhedron at 8:22 AM on March 7, 2011


Personally, I've never understood the appeal of In-N-Out when it's the same state that has Fatburger in it.

Then again, when I visit CA, I'm more excited about Jack In The Box than I am In-N-Out, but that's just me.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 8:24 AM on March 7, 2011


They are currently putting a 5 guys in my fucking building. I can hear the workmen shouting at eachother at what sounds like them beating on ducktwork right now. This is going to be bad.

I used to love Blue 9 not sure is they are sill there though.
posted by Ad hominem at 8:25 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


Fatburger looks amazing. Open one in NYC, please.
posted by jonmc at 8:26 AM on March 7, 2011


I'm kind of meh on In-N-Out food, it doesn't always treat my tummy with respect, to put it delicately. But I dig the experience, and the article really kind of nails the classic In-N-Out employee: totally game for anything and really fucking cheerful.
posted by padraigin at 8:26 AM on March 7, 2011 [2 favorites]


> I freakin' love the Double Double and why fix perfection?
The Canadians in this thread are mystified why you'd want sweet creamy coffee with your burger.
posted by scruss at 8:28 AM on March 7, 2011 [3 favorites]


When my partner lived in Seattle, he once drove to California for the sole purpose of eating at In-N-Out. (I didn't count on someone else posting basically the EXACT same story, but then, I didn't count on xedrik.)

Anyway, now we live where there are In-N-Outs, but we hardly ever partake.
posted by illenion at 8:31 AM on March 7, 2011


I've never understood the fanatical devotion to In-N-Out. They're better than McD's but basically just taste like a mediocre diner burger to me. The "secret" menu is pretty smart marketing but other than that, I don't get the hype.
posted by octothorpe at 8:32 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


Shakespeherian, then why wouldn't they put the fries on the burger? That surprised me.

They used to, and some locations still do. I think after the whole 'secret menu' buzz started spreading about five years ago or so management has tried to limit some of the craziness (such as, for example, now you can't order more than a 4x4). But if you get a look at an In-N-Out cash register, there's just a button for each thing that you can order (e.g. 'Slice of cheese,' 'Patty,' 'Lettuce' etc.). Customizing is as simple as punching in what's ordered. There's no button for Animal Style.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:34 AM on March 7, 2011


N.B. my best friend in high school worked at In-N-Out, and they're a great company that treats its workers well and gives them a decent wage, especially considering that many of them are high schoolers or college students. When they had their all-associates conference (or whatever they called it) in 2002 (I think) they reserved all of Knott's Berry Farm and brought every employee-- cashiers, janitors, executives, everyone-- and a +1 (I was my friend's +1) for each to a theme park and let them run around for a day, and then management had a brief pep talk in the afternoon.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:39 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


There are a lot of great burgers out there, and some are better than In-N-Out. But dude, it's In-N-Out. Clean, inexpensive, tasty, good service - I wish they were a little faster, but I wouldn't change that if it meant a change in quality.

They also treat their employees well, and from what I understand they are somewhat better paid than the typical fast food worker.

The fries are great but you have to eat them as soon as they are served, piping hot. The burger can wait. Fries first. And no, they won't make the trip home, they start to suck in about three minutes. While McDonald's has arguably the best fries in the business, I dig In-N-Out's because they are different - home style. As bad as my Mom used to make.
posted by Xoebe at 8:40 AM on March 7, 2011


When I was a teenager, in the 80's, living in the Inland Empire and we'd all pile in this one guy's Ford Fairmont and drive out to the nearest In and Out (which may have been in Riverside, I don't recall) and we'd sit in this smelly hot line of cars at the quintuple drive-thru lanes at the In N Out, with all these testosterone-y teenage boys making animal-style jokes, and we'd get our burgers, and then eat them on the freeway, headed back to school or to the movies or sometimes the beach (never Disneyland. If we were going to Disneyland, we left early enough to arrive when the gates opened--waaaaaay too early for In N Out). We all thought the drive was worth it--we all thought the burgers were GREAT (well, except that one girl, who like the Dairy Queen burger better). We didn't do it all the time--just enough to keep it exciting.

When I got to college, in Texas, in the 80's, in the dark days before the Internet, I was surprised that people had heard of In N Out and assured them all, that yes, ohmahgod, they were awesome and it was so cool to have someone know the secret menu and order you the best thing ever. And it was true, Texas for all the amazing barbecue and the Taco Cabanas and the drive-thru beverage barns, had no good drive-thru burger.

A few years ago, I was back in California with the opportunity to go to an In N Out for the first time since the 90's. And I did. And it was, well, ordinary at best. Far less that I remembered. I don't know if it's changed--or I've changed--or the hype machine ruins everything. Or whatever. But hey, folks I went to college with, it's okay. You really weren't missing much of anything. Your memories of driving to Sonic and getting the special mixed limeades (whether you added rum or not) are more than comparable.
posted by crush-onastick at 8:40 AM on March 7, 2011 [2 favorites]


You'd probably be surprised how many restaurants have "secret" menus.

e.g.: every Chinese place on the planet, and most of the Thai places.


See also Indian restaurants

(Though ordering off-menu because you are too drunk to read the actual menu probably doesn't count)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 8:41 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


The best fast food fries are at Nathan's, actually.

I know they get grief because their burgers are meh, but I have to admit that Five Guys still holds the crown for the best fries I've found. I've reached the point where I tolerate their other food just for a chance to bask in the divine radiance that is their French fries.

The best non-fries are, of course, Cafe Lulu's potato chips with blue cheese sauce to dip them in.
posted by quin at 8:43 AM on March 7, 2011


The fries are great but you have to eat them as soon as they are served, piping hot. The burger can wait. Fries first. And no, they won't make the trip home, they start to suck in about three minutes.

QUOTED FOR TRUTH.
posted by infinitywaltz at 8:44 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


The revelation of this "chopped chilis" thing makes me want to fly to LA right now.
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 8:47 AM on March 7, 2011


The fries are great because at the time that they arrive on your tray, they began their day as raw potatoes. They haven't ever been frozen, and were in fact peeled that morning at that In N Out location.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:49 AM on March 7, 2011 [5 favorites]


I used to be bummed that we don't have In N Out up here in Canada, but then Burger's Priest opened up a few blocks away from me and I'm totally fine. I find it difficult to imagine how any burger might be better.
posted by Go Banana at 8:50 AM on March 7, 2011


You'd probably be surprised how many restaurants have "secret" menus.

e.g.: every Chinese place on the planet, and most of the Thai places.

Agreed, but they're not so secret if you can read the particular (non-English) language used by the establishment in question. In many instances, the daily dishes are listed right there in the restaurant (see: Mary Chung's, where her idiot son writes the specials on paper bags and tapes them to the counter), but I sense that the employees are a little less than enthused to participate in the Gringo Who Orders From The Real Menu Experience and just hand out the laminated, pick-by-the-number, standard menu along with a glass of stale water and western utensils.

And truth be told, unless you're Andrew Zimmern, there's no reason to stray from the localized fare and venture into a thousand years of non-evolved peasant food. Especially if it's Thai, because when they tell you that a particular dish is only for Thai people, they actually mean it. Yes, I'd like to have more of a choice and not be treated like the other unwashed, faux-Szechuan groupies at the next table, but I'd also like to enjoy my food order and the rest of my colon so I will generally take the advice of the wait staff.
posted by jsavimbi at 8:53 AM on March 7, 2011


Dang. I was in San Diego last week and my co-worker did the dinnertime run to In-and-Out. I remembered the animal-style, but had never thought/heard of the chopped chilies! Something for the next trip.
posted by Runes at 8:54 AM on March 7, 2011


If you order the fries well-done, they're closer to better fries, but they're nothing compared to McD's tallow-fried fries, back in the day. But I love In-n-Out if only for the tradition and the t-shirts.
posted by Ideefixe at 9:03 AM on March 7, 2011


I moved from California to Texas in 2007 and I'm not sure I like the idea of In-N-Out following me here.

Growing up there, I always thought of In-N-Out as a California institution, like the Golden Gate Bridge, Hollywood, race riots, etc. I know it's selfish and hypocritical of me but I'd rather they stay there to keep the mystique going.

Btw, I'm driving back to CA for a vacation this summer and my first stop (and likely only stop) in AZ will be one of the Tuscon In-N-Outs.
posted by Avenger at 9:07 AM on March 7, 2011


Secret food porn?
posted by Fizz at 9:13 AM on March 7, 2011


Whenever I'm visiting LA, my friends always insist on dragging me to showy, cultish places that serve idiotic "foodie" burgers that are just stacks of pretentious "artisan" meat on pretentious "artisan" bread swathed in duck fat and arugula and fancy compotes and strange cheeses and other bullshit. What I really want, when I can talk them into it, is to just eat at the In-N-Out that sits at the end of the cargo runway at LAX where it looks like the planes are about to land on your head. I get a double double, something to drink, skip the oddly foamy, flavorless fries (fries are meant to have skins, be served in a cup, and be splattered with malt vinegar, dammit), and watch the travelers coming and going. It's lovely. Next time, I'll get a 3x3, I think.

I'm glad there are no In-N-Outs in my area, though, so they'll stay special.
posted by sonascope at 9:15 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


... the classic In-N-Out employee: totally game for anything and really fucking cheerful.

How the hell do they manage that? In TFA, the author describes his server as practically wagging like a puppy, and that's really how In-N-Out employees behave. When I worked fast food the best I could manage was to not actively hate the customer, but In-N-Out employees never fail to be cheerful.
posted by lekvar at 9:22 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm glad there are no In-N-Outs in my area, though, so they'll stay special.

Part of the In-N-Out cachet is, I think, that even in the states where they exist, they're not everywhere. You'll go when you happen to be near one, but if you have a craving for In-N-Out, getting a fix usually means driving five or ten miles at the very least, unless you chose your living arrangements based on In-N-Out proximity. There are probably several McDonalds between you, and your nearest In-N-Out. And you don't always want to make that special trip, because most In-N-Outs are very crowded. I have spent most of my visits there hoping to get a seat before my food is ready.

So they stay a little special even to the people who have easiest access, because it's enough of a pain to get there and get your food that you simply don't go very often.

Which is why you might forget that it's going to upset your gastric tract.
posted by padraigin at 9:23 AM on March 7, 2011


Whenever I'm visiting LA, my friends always insist on dragging me to showy, cultish places that serve idiotic "foodie" burgers that are just stacks of pretentious "artisan" meat on pretentious "artisan" bread swathed in duck fat and arugula and fancy compotes and strange cheeses and other bullshit.

I agree wholeheartedly, with one exception: the Rossini Burger at Mandalay Bay's Burger Bar in Vegas. Kobe Beef topped with Foie Gras shaved black truffles and wine sauce, with fries and a create-your-own shake that allows booze as an ingredient. Decadent, expensive and fucking delicious.
posted by jonmc at 9:24 AM on March 7, 2011


How the hell do they manage that? In TFA, the author describes his server as practically wagging like a puppy, and that's really how In-N-Out employees behave. When I worked fast food the best I could manage was to not actively hate the customer, but In-N-Out employees never fail to be cheerful.

Two theories: 1) They really do pay them ridiculously well for fast food employees. 2) How could you be less than cheerful when you're wearing a giant safety pin?
posted by shakespeherian at 9:28 AM on March 7, 2011


fries are meant to have skins, be served in a cup, and be splattered with malt vinegar, dammit

Yes, sometimes, and yes. We just got a Five Guys about a year ago and I love it, but the moment I knew it was going to be really fucking good was when I saw that they not only have malt vinegar, but they have it out and there's plenty of it and they obviously intend for lots of people to use it.
posted by rollbiz at 9:28 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


What I really want, when I can talk them into it, is to just eat at the In-N-Out that sits at the end of the cargo runway at LAX where it looks like the planes are about to land on your head.

Oh, man. Totally this.

As a lifelong Easterner I was one of those travelers a few years ago, coming off a long trip with no food I pulled into that In-N-Out drive-thru right into a classic scene: long line, convertibles with the roof down, cars full of people, characters walking around the parking lot. The waitress comes walking down the line and takes your order but you know you're still going to have to wait.

For better or worse, that scene has become part of my lifelong visual/sensory template for "California".

Oh, and the burger was frickin' amazing.
posted by jeremias at 9:34 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


The fact that there were both an In-n-Out and a Fatburger seconds from where I lived in L.A. is to blame for some of the extra pounds I carry around to this day.

Some people love to hate on it as being overly hyped / touristy but if you're in L.A. and dig burger places that have a small-but-well-executed menu, check out Apple Pan too. Mmm, hickory sauce...
posted by usonian at 9:40 AM on March 7, 2011


that In-N-Out drive-thru right into a classic scene: long line, convertibles with the roof down, cars full of people, characters walking around the parking lot. The waitress comes walking down the line and takes your order but you know you're still going to have to wait.

For better or worse, that scene has become part of my lifelong visual/sensory template for "California".


The "New York City/Outer Borough" version of that template would be the White Castle on Broadway & 21st in Astoria/LIC in a strip mall in the shadow of the Ravenswood projects. Last time I was there, I sat muching my sliders and listening to the Latino employess bitch about their boss. One of them used the word "Brujo." All of a sudden this middle-aged guy stands up in his booth, his wife waving him down. He was wearing a yarmulke and a prayer shawl. He began ranting that calling him a 'brujo' was anti-Semitic. My first thought was, of course, 'If you're so damn observant, what the hell are you doing at White Castle?' Instead I said, "Mister, they weren't talking about you. Just let them work in peace." I gave him a look and he sat down. When i went up to the counter to get some mustard, I was feeling all urban peacemaker and said to the countergirl "Crazy shit, huh?" She looked confused for a second and then said "Oh, the. They pull something like taht every week or so. They're a little off."m

Oh. I sat down and finished my food. Walking to the subway, i passed the guy and his wife and they waved to me.
posted by jonmc at 9:53 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


i live blocks away from SHAKE SHACK and GOODBURGER, which is owned by the same company, is a family favorite. they just dont compare to In-and-Out Burger. AT ALL.
posted by liza at 9:53 AM on March 7, 2011


Fries are very, very important to me. Much more so than the burgers at burger places. Good fries have made me literally dizzy with happiness in the past.

In-N-Out fries are unacceptably bad, even well done, therefore In-N-Out is not on my list of places to eat.

5 Guys recently came to town, but I've only heard bad things from friends who have eaten at the one near my house, so I haven't tried it yet. News upthread that they have malt vinegar available is intriguing, though.
posted by Squeak Attack at 9:58 AM on March 7, 2011


___Eating at In-N-Out once in a while___ is overrated, if you really like burgers you should be eating at ___In-N-Out for every meal___.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 10:01 AM on March 7, 2011


My mother worked for many years as a school administrator in Baldwin Park, which also happens to be where In-N-Out was born. She's not a huge hamburger freak, but she did go a couple of times to the original In-N-Out. The secret, according to her, was that In-N-Out used to feature completely fresh hamburger patties. Now, they use frozen, just like any other fast food joint, and it definitely affects the flavor.
posted by thomas j wise at 10:02 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


Whenever I'm visiting LA, my friends always insist on dragging me to showy, cultish places that serve idiotic "foodie" burgers

Man, Father's Office is about the beer. They pretty much started the "Gastropub" thing here in LA but I go there for the beer selection.

Also, for the peeps saying that Fatburger is better: Fatburger is twice as expensive. A Double-Double combo at INO is like 6 bucks. The equivalent combo "Fat Deal" at FB is pushing 12.


Protip: The real secret menu at In-N-Out is that they'll make anything you want. If they have the ingredients handy, they'll make it for you. All of these fancy names for these ingredient combinations are just marketing.
posted by sideshow at 10:06 AM on March 7, 2011


In the 70s and 80s, every other car on the road here had an
IN-N-OUT
  URGE 
bumper sticker. Usually next to a cloud of KLOS rainbow stickers.
posted by eyeballkid at 10:12 AM on March 7, 2011 [4 favorites]


Also, for the peeps saying that Fatburger is better: Fatburger is twice as expensive. A Double-Double combo at INO is like 6 bucks. The equivalent combo "Fat Deal" at FB is pushing 12.

Price aside, the only thing about FB I like better than INO is that they'll drop a fried egg with bacon on your burger. Did you feel that? Twas the vibration of my heart's final shudder as the arteries completely clogged.
posted by eyeballkid at 10:16 AM on March 7, 2011


Fuck, I miss California.
posted by wcfields at 10:17 AM on March 7, 2011


SHAKE SHACK and GOODBURGER, which is owned by the same company

Minor point to this discussion but Shake Shack and Goodburger are not owned by the same company. SS is owned by Danny Meyer of the Union Square Hospitality Group, Goodburger by Nick Tsoulos, who also owns the non-original versions of Patsy's around town and Mel's Burgers near Columbia.
posted by plastic_animals at 10:20 AM on March 7, 2011


Price aside, the only thing about FB I like better than INO is that they'll drop a fried egg with bacon on your burger. Did you feel that? Twas the vibration of my heart's final shudder as the arteries completely clogged.

When I go out, I expect it to happen while I'm clutching something very much like this. Yes, I'm OK with that. No, you can't have the rest. Bury it with me.
posted by rollbiz at 10:20 AM on March 7, 2011 [5 favorites]


Fuck, I miss California.

Not me. I want a regional burger specialty nowadays, I get to have a Jucy Lucy.
posted by padraigin at 10:20 AM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


The equivalent combo "Fat Deal" at FB is pushing 12.

This is the same problem I have with Five Guys. Beyond it tasting deeply inferior and being a completely different burger experience (witness their optional topping list: # Mayo # Relish # Onions # Lettuce # Pickles # Tomatoes # Grilled Onions # Grilled Mushrooms # Ketchup # Mustard # Jalapeno Peppers # Green Peppers # A.1.® Steak Sauce # Bar-B-Q Sauce # Hot Sauce), the shit is twice as pricey, $12 for a burger, fries, and coke.

Burgers are not caviar for billionaires; price matters. You might make me a burger that tastes better than a Double-Double, but I'm not going to let you charge me twice the price to eat it.
posted by shen1138 at 10:21 AM on March 7, 2011


Many of you are terribly wrong in the way you view both burgers and, I suspect, life itself.
posted by Bookhouse at 10:24 AM on March 7, 2011


the shit is twice as pricey, $12 for a burger, fries, and coke.

This.

My local place serves this:
1/2 lb. burger topped with cheese, bacon, tomato, lettuce, mayo, ketchup and a fried egg on a sesame seed bun.
for about 1/2 the price..
posted by mikelieman at 10:30 AM on March 7, 2011


In-N-Out is selling a rare commodity: scarcity and authenticity (or the simulation thereof), both of which are hard to find in the chain-ified foodscape. They've been expanding like crazy as of late, however, so it will be interesting to see if they can get by on authenticity alone.
posted by mecran01 at 10:35 AM on March 7, 2011


After arriving in California I had an In-N-Out burger.

It's not a patch on the Mighty Angus served back in Australia and the McDonalds Angus burgers served over here are garbage. However, it's about the only place I'll get drive through burgers from since the staff are extremly good. They put up with all the random shit people want on their burgers AND they've not yet failed to get it right.

That being said, my burger place of choice for a sit down lunch is still Red Robin. I love that place so much and oh my God, these cheese sticks, these cheese sticks, Hayley, oh my God, these cheese sticks, oh my God! TGIF, Fuddruckers and Applebees can GTFO IMHO.
posted by Talez at 10:38 AM on March 7, 2011


We have determined that Smashburger beats Five Guys and Fatburger.

Five Guys burgers are too greasy and their fries are terribly inconsistent.

Fatburger makes an OK burger, but the skinny fries are to die for.

Smashburger wins on all counts. Great burgers (the crust on the meat is awesome). Great fries (perfectly done, every time). Great shakes (vanilla malt!). Great service (so friendly and helpful). Seriously, I cannot sing their praises enough. They also seem to have regional specialties only available at certain locations.
posted by MsVader at 10:39 AM on March 7, 2011


That being said, my burger place of choice for a sit down lunch is still Red Robin.

My kids love the place. My wife likes the place. I lament the fact that *every* single time I've visited, they have been unable to deliver to me a hamburger which is actually HOT.
posted by mikelieman at 10:42 AM on March 7, 2011


Forgot to mention that I've had the pleasure of trying an In-N-Out burger last year. It was delicious. On par with Smashburger for that delicious crust on the meat. I didn't actually get to try the fries since I was so completely involved with my burger.
posted by MsVader at 10:42 AM on March 7, 2011


I think In N Out is still a pretty good fast food burger; i.e. it's hard to do better for $2.30 or whatever it costs now at any other chain restaurant.

However, I've been eating the stuff since the '70s and lately (at least the ones I've had in Northern California) I feel the quality is slipping. Buns are dry, produce isn't as tasty as it once was, etc. I think they're struggling with scale. Used to be the best burger in town, now it's just pretty good.

Their fries changed too, sometime in the mid-'90s. Some say for the better. In a weird way I kind of miss the limp, greasy tray of fries you used to get. Maybe it's just nostalgia.
posted by scelerat at 10:46 AM on March 7, 2011


The fact that there were both an In-n-Out and a Fatburger seconds from where I lived in L.A. is to blame for some of the extra pounds I carry around to this day.

Indeed. Westwood, as close as you can get to living next door to an In-N-Out (and like six Starbucks, 3 Coffee Bean and Tea Leafs, and a Peet's. Jesus, what a concentration of overpriced coffee shops).

Now that I'm here in Midwestwood, I'm thinking I'm going to try the Culver's down the street from me. Their shakes, at least, look good. If they can add an egg to the top of their burgers (I agree, best thing EVER), then I might be willing to spend some time there.
posted by librarylis at 11:05 AM on March 7, 2011


We have determined that Smashburger beats Five Guys and Fatburger.

Came here to say this.

The thing about in-n-out is it is half the price of 5 Guys/Fatburger/Smashburger/etc. And they have a drive through. When the consideration set is McDonalds, Burger King, Jack in the Box or In-n-Out I pick In-n-Out every time.

When I have time, I'll go to Smashburger. I found 5 Guys to be overrated and seemingly the autoresponder to people talking about In-n-Out.
posted by birdherder at 11:10 AM on March 7, 2011


I used to live in the Twin Cities. There were easily a dozen quality burger joints I could name off the top of my head. I tried 5 Guys - great fries but the burger was only OK, and Smashburger - which actually had a pretty great burger but the Convention Grill or Matt's Bar could still kick its ass.

We have moved to western North Dakota and no gourmet burger chains within a couple hundred miles. But this is cattle country and in five minutes I can get to a burger that is fresher and tastier than anything I could find in a big city. Now if I could just get them to use another kind of cheese other than the simple American.
posted by Ber at 11:12 AM on March 7, 2011


You guys are shit-faced out of your mind.

The french fries are the best part of In-N-Out. You're all out of your element.

It pisses me off that you have to request ketchup on your hamburgers, though. Who eats hamburgers without ketchup? Goddamn heretics.
posted by Dreamcast at 11:13 AM on March 7, 2011


The fries are great because at the time that they arrive on your tray, they began their day as raw potatoes. They haven't ever been frozen, and were in fact peeled that morning at that In N Out location.

This could be why some people say they're great and others hate them. Because the best fries are made from Idaho Russets, which are seasonal. That's why McDonald's switched to frozen.
posted by evilcolonel at 11:16 AM on March 7, 2011


Best thing about shake shack is I stood on line 3 back from Bill Murray a few years back on opening day.
posted by Ad hominem at 11:23 AM on March 7, 2011


aw hell...
I just ate lunch and now I'm craving...a 3x2 flying dutchman animal style with well done fries between the layers. Too bad I'm in NY so no In-and-Out...no Sonic...no Checkers or Wonderburger. We just have snow...and I have a grateful cardiologist.
posted by ironbob at 11:42 AM on March 7, 2011


In-N-Out is selling a rare commodity: scarcity and authenticity (or the simulation thereof), both of which are hard to find in the chain-ified foodscape

In'n'Out never sold any scarcity to this native of southern California. There were plenty of them to choose from. Maybe they sell scarcity to people from the midwest or the east coast or whatever, but I doubt those people make up a significant proportion of their clientele.
posted by kenko at 11:51 AM on March 7, 2011


fries are meant to have skins, be served in a cup, and be splattered with malt vinegar, dammit

Yes, sometimes, and yes. We just got a Five Guys about a year ago and I love it, but the moment I knew it was going to be really fucking good was when I saw that they not only have malt vinegar, but they have it out and there's plenty of it and they obviously intend for lots of people to use it.


This is accurate about what actual best-in-the-business fries are like, though actually a brown paper bag or thick paper tray works even better, because it absorbs excess vinegar and sort of spreads it around instead of pooling it. These are the preferred containers at the finest french fry purveyors on the planet - chip trucks throughout the Ottawa area, casse-croutes on secondary highways in Quebec, and the justly legendary Bud the Spud in Halifax.

At every one of these outlets, you will find multiple bottles of white vinegar awaiting you, because it is the one and true platonic ideal topping for French fries. Malt vinegar? Malt vinegar just attracts unnecessary attention to its own fussy intrusive oversour self, and we did not throw off those colonial shackles in 1867 just to be reminded of them everytime we tuck into delicious Canadian fries. White vinegar sings the praise of the perfect browned fry itself, provides a tart softening of the crisped skin. It caresses and amplifies. It is the fried potato's true soul mate.

So they just opened a Five Guys in Calgary, and it's pretty damn good and those are indeed the best chain-burger-joint fries I've ever encountered. So I go looking on the condiment counter, and what do I find? Ten bottles of malt vinegar, and no white to be had for love or money. Canuck FAIL, Five Guys. Might impress Americans, who more often than not consume their fries in buildings utterly bereft of any vinegar at all. Under such austere conditions, you might welcome the liquid Union Jack. But on this side of the border? You may as well be humming "Rule Britannia" under your breath.

I may go back sometime, but I'll be packing my own vinegar if I do.
posted by gompa at 11:57 AM on March 7, 2011 [5 favorites]


My mother worked for many years as a school administrator in Baldwin Park, which also happens to be where In-N-Out was born. She's not a huge hamburger freak, but she did go a couple of times to the original In-N-Out. The secret, according to her, was that In-N-Out used to feature completely fresh hamburger patties. Now, they use frozen, just like any other fast food joint, and it definitely affects the flavor.

I'm not sure if it's you or your mother saying that, but the restuarant would beg to differ.

we don't even own a microwave, heat lamp, or freezer
posted by Joe Beese at 12:25 PM on March 7, 2011


This is the same problem I have with Five Guys. Beyond it tasting deeply inferior and being a completely different burger experience (witness their optional topping list: # Mayo # Relish # Onions # Lettuce # Pickles # Tomatoes # Grilled Onions # Grilled Mushrooms # Ketchup # Mustard # Jalapeno Peppers # Green Peppers # A.1.® Steak Sauce # Bar-B-Q Sauce # Hot Sauce), the shit is twice as pricey, $12 for a burger, fries, and coke.

If you're ordering for one at Five Guys, you're doing it wrong. "An order" of fries is far, far more than even a hungry person can eat alone. (Hint: The name of the restaurant is a clue.)
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:48 PM on March 7, 2011


Sorry. Dick's Drive-In has the best fries. A decent crappy burger by crappy burger standards, but their secret custom recipe is always the same: "Don't like X on your burger? Scrape it off. Trash can is over there."

Five Guys fries are great for fast food fries. The In-n-Out "sadness fries" are a criminal waste of potatoes. But I still sometimes miss the good old days when McDonald's fried theirs in beef tallow. Yum!
posted by Hylas at 1:32 PM on March 7, 2011


I was most amused by the

IN-N-OUT
URGE

stickers (which were made by cutting out the "B" and the "R" ).

That aside, as inexpensive meals go, INO strikes me as doing better than its competitors in terms of the food and they decimate most places when it comes to service, employees being efficient and pleasant, cleanliness of the restaurants and restrooms.

There are a couple things on the McD menu that have been infrequent guilty pleasures, but the experience of going there is too often dismal.
posted by ambient2 at 1:43 PM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


The best fast food fries were the crinkle cut fries in the 1980s from Carl's Jr. The potatoes were coated in a light dusting of sugar to give them an extra crunchiness and golden flavor.

Five Guys fries are great for fast food fries.
I've never been served in under 30 minutes at Five Guys. That's not fast food. If that counts, then Houston's fries are the best.
posted by birdherder at 1:43 PM on March 7, 2011


God, I miss the Dirty O. The best fries anywhere -- anywhere! -- and a 'medium' is a pile bigger than your goddamned head.
posted by rifflesby at 2:13 PM on March 7, 2011 [2 favorites]


The big advantage In-N-Out has over most major fast food restaurants is that they serve fresh food that is never frozen. It makes a huge difference in the taste and texture of the food. And the quality of their tomatoes in particular is extremely high and consistent.

I love In-N-Out's fries. I realize tastes vary, but to me they taste exactly like I expect fresh potatoes that have just been fried to order should taste like. [Note: they're not supposed to be soggy; new employees often start with fries, which contributed to their inconsistency. But that's not a problem I've experienced in ages, so I wonder if they've fixed this and the reputation is lagging the reality]. Also, I can't help but wonder what percentage of those who don't like In-N-Out fries are just used to the taste of heavily adulterated, pre-frozen fries?

Also, In-N-Out pays their employees well by comparison to other fast food restaurants, plus benefits, and it shows. Most of In-N-Out's employees are bright, cheerful and helpful, whereas many of the employees at McDonalds or Taco Bell are, well, anything but. Personally I feel a heck of a lot better giving my business to a company that treats its employees decently than the chains that treat their employees as a disposable commodity (including paying sub-minimum wage 'training wages').

And this is why I don't mind the very inconspicuous bible verses on the bottom of their cups. If only more Christians ran their companies like In-N-Out...
posted by Davenhill at 2:36 PM on March 7, 2011


the finest french fry purveyors on the planet - chip trucks throughout the Ottawa area

Oh god yes. There's nothing better than eating a paper bag full of vinegar-ed fry truck fries on a cold day in Ottawa, served so hot that the plastic fork prongs bend when you take your first bite. Honorable mention goes to the Russian death metal guys who serve poutine from the shack next to Dominion Tavern (Sasha's). And boo to anyone putting ketchup on poutine, that's stupid.

One burger place I quite liked was this Hawaiian chain called Kua Aina Burger. I gather they've been expanding lately. I was introduced to it in Kamakura, Japan and it may have seemed more impressive to me than it really is due to the contrast with the usually reasonable portions served in that country. I had this fantastic huge burger with a pineapple ring and a half an avocado on it, and it was awesome.

I was also a big fan of Mos Burger in Japan. I'm told the secret is that they use 25-30% ground pork mixed in with the ground beef, and holy shit it's tasty, but between that and the egg-on-burger thing I sometimes got the impression that eating in Japan was some sort of contest to see how many different creatures you could eat in a single meal.
posted by Hoopo at 2:47 PM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


What about Seattle's own, Dicks.
http://www.dicksdrivein.com/
mmmmmm a special and a deluxe would be great right about now.
posted by real_paris at 3:35 PM on March 7, 2011


Part of the appeal of In-N-Out is the price of the food. It's hard to compare it to places like 5 Guys and Fatburger, or even McDonald's, when In-N-Out's cheeseburger is something like $2 and the fries are $1.35.

It's a tasty burger. It doesn't cost way more than it should, like said 5 Guys and Fatburger meals.

And the fries only taste "bad" because they come straight from the potato. By that, I mean that they take a potato, put it into a french fry press, form french fry sticks directly from a fresh potato, then stick those directly into the deep-fryer. Almost every single other fast food french fry you will ever eat is reconstituted seasoned potato powder, deep-fried and flash-frozen, then deep fried again in flavored oil. It's like complaining that reconstituted McNuggets taste better than fresh, homemade chicken strips.

Not to mention, there are no freezers at In-N-Out (other than for the fresh ice cream they make their shakes out of), meaning that the meat is never frozen; it's always fresh.

It's good, fresh fast food, and cheap.

And, I gave up hamburgers for Lent, so this thread sucks.
posted by jabberjaw at 3:55 PM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


cheeseburger is something like $2 and the fries are $1.35.

Is this true? Totally changes the equation. I always feel just a bit ripped off after going to 5 guys. But at 2$ I could finally kick my McDonald's Double Cheeseburger addiction.
posted by Ad hominem at 4:04 PM on March 7, 2011


And, I gave up hamburgers for Lent, so this thread sucks.

Dude, you have two more days.
posted by shakespeherian at 4:11 PM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


chip trucks

WANT. Vinegar first, followed by salt (which sticks to the vinegar), ketchup to dip in occasionally (or better yet, gravy)...golden crispy outsides, creamy insides, nuclear-hot...best thing in the world to eat after ice skating (the "secret menu" for chip trucks is the occasional uber well-done chip from the bottom of the fry basket, little crunchy nuggets of fat). WANT NOW!
posted by biscotti at 4:54 PM on March 7, 2011


In-N-Out fries are among my favorite, bar none. I have no idea what the article is talking about.
posted by archagon at 5:01 PM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


(With the caveat that you have to eat them RIGHT AWAY. Even 5 minutes turns them into pale, chewy shadows of their former selves.)
posted by archagon at 5:04 PM on March 7, 2011


I was excited the first time I saw potatoes going into those cool cutters at In-N-Out, looking so fresh and primal and wonderful, and then I sat down, had a little fit of happiness over my burger and put a few fries in my mouth and...they were just heavy, flavorless things with an oddly styrofoamy quality, devoid of texture or satisfaction. There's a good reason why potatoes are virtually never served unseasoned, which is that they're the rolled oats of the fried starch world, dependent on their ability to hold up other flavorings like carbohydrate scaffolding. I've tried 'em over and over in different In-N-Outs, but they're just not right. All I can think about is spritzing them with vinegar, dipping them in horseradish (people don't seem to do that out west), or covering them with a sweet sweet corrupting blanket of poutine fixin's.

To each their own, though.
posted by sonascope at 5:22 PM on March 7, 2011


Ordering the fries as well-done is definitely an improvement. I also keep wondering if we've become so accustomed to over-processed fries (a la McD) that we don't remember what the "real" ones are supposed to taste like...

Also, why does someone always bring up the "religious nonsense" at In-N-Out? When we were there the other day I actually searched for it, and could only find one bible reference on the inside lip underneath the bottom of my cup. Is there something more that I'm missing?
posted by neurodoc at 5:35 PM on March 7, 2011


...cheeseburger is something like $2 and the fries are $1.35.
Is this true? Totally changes the equation.


To quote my next expense claim from work,
YOUR GUEST NUMBER IS
         97
IN-N-OUT BURGER DAVIS

=====================
Cashier: KELLY HO
Check  : 97
=====================

DblDbl           3.15
>  Animal
FF  Well         1.40
** S Shk         1.95

Counter-Eat In   6.50
TAX 8.75%         .57
Amount Due      $7.07

Tender $10     $10.00
Change          $2.93
      THANK YOU!
2011-03-07    7:11 PM
I took my verging-on-elderly British coworker there for the first time. He's a vegetarian. He had the grilled cheese, which they stuffed with all of the vegetables, and loved it.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 8:54 PM on March 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


Heard on the radio that apparently Colin Firth promised to take Helen Mirren out to In-N-Out if he won the Oscar...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:50 AM on March 8, 2011


Ordering the fries as well-done is definitely an improvement.

I don't think I'd call dding burned flavor to bad fries an improvement, exactly.

I also keep wondering if we've become so accustomed to over-processed fries (a la McD) that we don't remember what the "real" ones are supposed to taste like.

No, I haven't had McDonalds in over 15 years. There's a locally owned place here that makes herbed fries that are amazing. The fries at In-N-Out are just objectively bad.
posted by Squeak Attack at 7:45 AM on March 8, 2011


DblDbl 3.15

I seem to remember that a base cheeseburger is like 2.50 and each additional patty/cheese combo is like 75c.
posted by muddgirl at 7:46 AM on March 8, 2011


Base cheeseburger is now $2.15. Burger is $1.85. I think additional patty/cheese is now $1.00.
posted by jabberjaw at 8:27 AM on March 8, 2011


For those of you unlucky enough to live far away from an In-N-Out, here's what you need to do when you finally get a chance to go to one:

Go when it's crowded. Go when the line snakes out the door, around the corner. When the parking lot is full, and you have to park way down the road. Go, then.

In-N-Out is a well-oiled machine. The place is designed to run well during even the most busy times. Everyone in the store will be at the top of their game, working hard (and happily!). Your food will come to you piping hot, fresh, and amazingly delicious.

Their burgers are great even during the down times, when the place is empty... But it's not the same. If you want to truly know why people (like me) are closer to worshipping the place than is spiritually comfortable, you need to go when it's super busy. It'll take maybe an extra 20 minutes from your day, but it'll be worth it.
posted by meese at 8:51 AM on March 8, 2011


The fries are subjectively incredible. Grr.
posted by archagon at 10:33 AM on March 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


I also keep wondering if we've become so accustomed to over-processed fries (a la McD) that we don't remember what the "real" ones are supposed to taste like...

The first time I had In-N-Out fries, I wondered what the fuss was about. They seemed bland and lacking "oomph." But I've come to enjoy them for what they are, which is honest and without pretense. Take a potato, cut it, fry and salt the results. They are humble, almost zen. They say, "I am what I am, no more and no less, born of potato." They don't do tricks, they don't have XTREME FLAVOR!!!!!, they don't demand your admiration. They are the shortest possible line between point (potato) and point (french fry), and that's not a bad thing.
posted by lekvar at 12:14 PM on March 8, 2011


They also don't close their tags, apparently.
posted by lekvar at 12:25 PM on March 8, 2011


In-N-Out is a well-oiled machine

Part of the reason for this may also be that In-N-Out has always been private, and none of the stores are franchises. I have to believe that the company is worth a zillion dollars, but they've chosen not to go that way. Pretty admirable, actually.
posted by neurodoc at 7:45 PM on March 8, 2011


Is this different from what Fudrucker's offered in the 80s?

Also, I was in St. Paul over the weekend and, while I didn't have a Juicy Lucy at the Blue Door Pub, I did have both deep-fried tater tots (sublime!) and spam bites (ugh, burped all through my uncle's funeral the next day), accompanied by several Surly beers.
posted by wenestvedt at 10:04 AM on March 9, 2011


Is this different from what Fudrucker's offered in the 80s?

Yes, in that it's edible.
posted by Bookhouse at 10:07 AM on March 9, 2011


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