Knope we can!
January 27, 2012 7:02 AM   Subscribe

Election year politics may be cruel, cynical and disheartening, but nerdy rapper Adam Warrock's new EP reminds us that there is one candidate whose message of positivity never wavers, even while it might be at odds with her name. posted by Potomac Avenue (18 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
"This guy was being a jerk, and my campaign manager punched him in the face. It was awesome. And then we made out a lot afterwards."
posted by MHPlost at 7:28 AM on January 27, 2012 [2 favorites]

Drunk Ron Swanson
posted by dismas at 7:29 AM on January 27, 2012 [2 favorites]

Finally, the perfect place to post RZA's screen test for Parks and Rec
posted by Copronymus at 7:30 AM on January 27, 2012 [12 favorites]

Hahahaha, "My name is Amy Poehler I have no agent and my manager is my mother Ilene."
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:46 AM on January 27, 2012

To be fair, there are a lot of potholes on Grand Avenue.
posted by mintcake! at 7:51 AM on January 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

But would you go bowling with her?
posted by drezdn at 7:52 AM on January 27, 2012

Hello! Here's a list of everything I plan to deal with when you elect me to Pawnee City Council! Let's get this fixing started!

More dog parks
Senior citizens rights
Safe streets
Safe sidewalks
Better schools
Lower taxes
Better parks
Better business climate
Better Better Business Bureau
Cleaner streets
Improve greenways
More snow plows
Protecting Pawneeans
Improving tourism
More trash cans
Energy-efficient street lights
Westside Detoxification and Revitalization Project
Repaving Grand Avenue
More teachers
Fewer libraries
Improve intergovernmental agency communication
Clean-up Barefoot Lake
Passing Pawnee Jobs Bill P-129.4
Playgrounds in every park
Playgrounds in every schoolyard
Playgrounds in every residential block
Clean energy
One police officer for every 5 citizens
One park ranger for every 10,000 raccoons
Resodding Hilltop Cemetery
Start talking to Cuba again
Emergency evacuation drills
Plow for Charity
Forming an Ad Hoc Sub-Committee Oversight Committee
Challenging the norm
Pawnee Corn Subsidies
Finally Passing PR-61, formally recognizing South Korea
Official peace treaty with the Wamapoke Tribe
Four-way stops at every intersection
Unionizing ice cream trucks
Get Europe out of debt
Free trade with Illinois
Enact RRP - Raccoon Relocation Project
Pawnee Community College tuition in exchange for 4 years of public service
Doubling Pawnee Hospital's emergency room nurse staff
Legalize Korean
Lower the obesity level
Stop global terrorism
Re-open the toucan exhibit at Pawnee Zoo
Find Gabe the Toucan
More community gardens
Ordinance 11F: To Re-pave City Sidewalks
Budget reform
Updated Technologies for Local Schools
Better retirement benefits for city employees
Edward Phillips Senior Center Remodeling
Speed bumps in front of elementary schools
Unemployment benefits
Re-instating the Main St. Farmers Market
No turtles as pets
New uniforms for youth sports programs
Free public Wi-Fi
Updated childcare facilities
Shutting down the Child Left Behind program
Handicap parking placards for the obese
Cleaner drinking water
Regulate heights of trampolines
Memorial for those lost in the trampoline "incident"
Control the floods
Funding for public art commission
Fencing in correctional facilities
New police patrol cars
Funding overtime hours for police
Rebuilding the PTA
Prosecuting former PTA president Linda Trifle
Profitable government organizations
Shutting down underground shooting ranges
Making sure city contracts employ local workers
Providing more economic development grants and micro-loans to small businesses
Foster partnerships with sister cities
More buses to speed up morning commutes
More streets to accommodate additional buses
Require all city employees check and respond to email
Working sewers
More parades
Grants for scientists to discover new forms of energy
Leave a lasting impression on all visitors
Challenge the norm
Finish the statue of Burt Bacharach
No more conflict diamonds
Bulletproof glass everywhere
Free cookies at every street corner
One school for every student
Require flattering mirrors in public restrooms
Develop a municipal composting operation
Enforce existing speeding and noise ordinances
Upgrade existing parks
Create an anti-graffiti, youth outreach program
Free cake when it's your birthday
Reevaluate NAFTA
Rickshaw Wednesdays
Making it illegal to refuse a hug
Make downtown more people-friendly
Sell candy in government buildings to pay down the debt
Get Pawnee a licensed pharmacy
Better screening processes at local adoption agencies
Finding homes for the adopted children of Day Labor Corp.
Prop 6A: To Recognize All Five Food Groups
Replacing all glass with plastic at Pawnee Psychiatric Clinic
Curfew for minors at The Pawnee Mall
Stop paying Sweetums the so-called "thank you for being here" tax
Mini-golf renovations
Subsidizing educational and eco-friendly businesses
Removing Zorp from all written laws
Reducing Federal Government Experiments in town to 10 per year
Ordinance 8R: A Goat Cannot Own/Inherit a Farm
Legalize clapping
New railway
Prop 14: Religion Is Not a Science
No longer recognizing the winner of the chili cook-off as a government position
Stricter testing at Pawnee Blood Bank
Boarding up unsanctioned "drop off" slot at Pawnee Blood Bank
Encouraging the FDA to re-analyze our farms
Funding for better and safer sewage treatment
Thicker cement for containment of old sewage treatment factory
Mandatory sexual harassment seminar for government employees
Starting a dialogue with the people who live in the trees
Pay off our debt to the Ringling Bros.
Prove that we can safely host a circus again
Ordinance 43K: Laws Cannot Be Secrets
Recall Food N' Stuff branded hand sanitizer
Disseminate the fund for a Pawnee Military
Find the stolen cell phone tower
Reduce obesity by .01% (100 lbs per family)
Make the Pawnee Cemetery less flammable
Less nudity on public-access television
Capping the number of local public-access channels at 50
Eliminate permit application process for legal ownership of a calculator
Making Li'l Sebastian Day a legal holiday

posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:58 AM on January 27, 2012 [6 favorites]

Copronymus, that is a fantastical clip of RZA. Made my day. Thanks!
posted by Argyle at 8:08 AM on January 27, 2012

Is there where I drop my new catchphrase: "WITH MY CLAYMAISH??"

Because, if so:

posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 8:14 AM on January 27, 2012 [2 favorites]

The converse: Hampden Parks by Baltimore rapper e-dubble samples the Parks & Rec theme.
posted by mhum at 8:53 AM on January 27, 2012 [2 favorites]

God, I wish they could use this on the show. I can imagine the episode built around it already. Leslie NEEDS a custom campaign song, dammit.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:04 AM on January 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

Fewer Libraries? Sorry, that's this single issue voter's single issue.
posted by polywomp at 10:42 AM on January 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

Andy Richter's little sister Stacy is all grown up!
posted by MegoSteve at 10:48 AM on January 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

Fewer Libraries? Sorry, that's this single issue voter's single issue.

Libraries are worse than calzones. The only thing worse than libraries is Eagleton.
posted by kmz at 10:57 AM on January 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

Andy Richter's little sister Stacy is all grown up!

O.M.G. How did I not know that was her?
posted by dhartung at 12:02 PM on January 27, 2012

A true question for the ages: what's worse, Eagleton? Or Wullerton (*spit*)?
posted by kmz at 12:28 PM on January 27, 2012

Dammit, son, people can see you!
posted by Navelgazer at 2:28 PM on January 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

Finally, the perfect place to post RZA's screen test for Parks and Rec

"Very nice to meet you, I've... heard the Wu Tang clan ain't nothin' to fuck with" is certainly the funniest thing I will hear today.
posted by DecemberBoy at 2:32 PM on January 27, 2012

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