Rub a greased palm along the bottom

March 6, 2012 12:58 PM

For Super Tuesday, sardonic food writer Michael Procopio presents an excellent Rick-Santorum-themed cake recipe.

Michael was previously on the blue with his piece on delicious faggots.

posted by w0mbat (39 comments total)

"...Santorium-themed cake recipe.

nope nope nope not clicking nope
posted by entropicamericana at 1:03 PM on March 6, 2012 [18 favorites]

Is the icing really frothy?
posted by Solomon at 1:05 PM on March 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

For the second time, I find myself thinking I've rarely been less inclined to click on a link.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:05 PM on March 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

The author is aware of the fact that macadamia trees are native to Australasia. They are, however, grown in the United States proper (California) and what some might consider the United States improper (Hawai’i).

I demand to see the long form propagation certificate.
posted by zamboni at 1:05 PM on March 6, 2012 [6 favorites]

I clicked on the link after all. It actually isn't a bad recipe, and the humor is largely about...things other than what you're thinking.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:08 PM on March 6, 2012 [3 favorites]

I'd've thought the tunnel of fudge cake more appropriate.
posted by Prince_of_Cups at 1:08 PM on March 6, 2012 [4 favorites]

Michael Procopio is one of my very favorite "internet writers" or however we term them. His love cake entry was hilarious and I just adore men with stories to tell about Blossom Dearie.
posted by crush-onastick at 1:12 PM on March 6, 2012 [3 favorites]

There's actually no froth at all. All you folks hesitating to click have nothing to fear. I for one am disappointed.
posted by echo target at 1:13 PM on March 6, 2012

Should I grease up the bundt or loaf pan?
posted by hal9k at 1:15 PM on March 6, 2012

Can I eats it too?
posted by hal9k at 1:16 PM on March 6, 2012

For the second time, I find myself thinking I've rarely been less inclined to click on a link.

Right on, and likewise what I said here goes double here.
posted by IndigoJones at 1:18 PM on March 6, 2012

I'm pretty sure I saw this recipe in The Help.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:19 PM on March 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

Is this the part where there are going to be hundreds of butt jokes that posters pat themselves on the backs for, like they were the first ones to ever think of them?
posted by DoctorFedora at 1:19 PM on March 6, 2012 [1 favorite]

yes. lol butts.
posted by elizardbits at 1:20 PM on March 6, 2012 [8 favorites]

BUTTS
posted by Hollywood Upstairs Medical College at 1:21 PM on March 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

Crazy cake is my go-to chocolate cake recipe. It's seriously delicious stuff. I wish he would have made fun of some other cake. :(
posted by thirteenkiller at 1:21 PM on March 6, 2012

Is this the part where there are going to be hundreds of butt jokes that posters pat themselves on the backs for, like they were the first ones to ever think of them?


Yeah, I assed myself the same question...
posted by dubold at 1:22 PM on March 6, 2012 [6 favorites]

Is this the part where there are going to be hundreds of butt jokes that posters pat themselves on the backs for, like they were the first ones to ever think of them?

In light of recent evidence, the posterior probability is high.
posted by invitapriore at 1:32 PM on March 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

In light of recent evidence, the posterior probability is high.

Probeability?
posted by ian1977 at 1:38 PM on March 6, 2012 [1 favorite]

STOP WITH THESE CRACKS
posted by me & my monkey at 1:42 PM on March 6, 2012 [6 favorites]

Is there a gluteus free recipe?

you asked for it
posted by wikipedia brown boy detective at 1:43 PM on March 6, 2012

There is neither Santorum in this cake nor Super in this Tuesday.
posted by mcstayinskool at 1:45 PM on March 6, 2012

Canola oil? as in Canadian Oil, Low Acid?

This recipe should only contain West Texas Intermediate.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 1:45 PM on March 6, 2012 [1 favorite]

Can also be used as a wedding cake if you want your marriage annulled by the President.
posted by evilmidnightbomberwhatbombsatmidnight at 2:03 PM on March 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

thought I was going to do another ass-related joke, didn't you?

LOL BUNDTS.
posted by evilmidnightbomberwhatbombsatmidnight at 2:05 PM on March 6, 2012 [6 favorites]

The left is sick and eager to spread filth, as this thread shows. Santorum is totally more Boston cream pie that's been through a blender, also.
posted by mccarty.tim at 3:06 PM on March 6, 2012

Canola? You put rapeseed oil in Santorum Cake?
posted by zippy at 3:11 PM on March 6, 2012 [1 favorite]

We're really scraping the bottom with these jokes.
posted by ShutterBun at 3:13 PM on March 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

A much more XXX rated set of instructions, with detailed anatomically correct diagrams on how to froth, milk, mix and strain the ingredients for a perfect santorum cake can be found here. (NSFW)
posted by lalochezia at 3:15 PM on March 6, 2012 [5 favorites]

2 girls, one cupcake?
posted by ShutterBun at 3:46 PM on March 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

crush-onastick: That Blossom Dearie story might be the best thing I read all year. It's certainly the best thing I've read so far this year. And that Gin Blossom Dearie recipe is making my toes curl.

I was lucky enough to see Blossom Dearie perform at that exact same cabaret (Danny's Skylight Room) about two years before she died. One of the high points of the show was her cover of Sting's "La Belle Dame Sans Merci," which she prefaced by noting wistfully how much she'd love to perform it as a duet with Sting. Why that piker Sting wasn't on the next plane to New York to perform with her, I will never understand.

Back to the funny cake jokes now. And fer cryin' out loud, folks, just click on the link. It's a perfectly nice cake.
posted by bakerina at 5:35 PM on March 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

I've never had sardonic food before. Is it bitter or just caustic?
posted by Nomyte at 6:18 PM on March 6, 2012

Dude's trottin' out some fuckin' Yoda syntax right now in Ohio
posted by angrycat at 6:28 PM on March 6, 2012

I resent this post: I've made this cake many a time when baked good emergencies struck, only I learned it from the I Hate to Cook Cookbook, which I got from my dearly-beloved, super-moxified great aunt who was one hell of a merry spinster. It's funny reading, but some of those recipes are ghastly sounding.

Yay, quasi-run-on sentences!
posted by smirkette at 7:17 PM on March 6, 2012 [1 favorite]

Wacky cake is my go-to chocolate cake recipe. It´s the first thing my mom taught me to bake as a kid, so I have a deep and abiding love for it. When I realized many years later that it´s vegan, that just made it even better. In fact, I just made one tonight, inspired by this post, except subbing mint extract for the vanilla. Nom nom nom.

My recipe does not use nuts, but I may have to modify it sometime just to make cheap ¨nuts in the hole¨ jokes.

Also, for people complaining about lack of froth, did you not see the part where you mix the vinegar and baking soda together?
posted by ActionPopulated at 7:49 PM on March 6, 2012

I'm surprised it took as many as seven comments for someone to make a "tunnel of fudge" reference. It's right there on the Hershey Highway!
posted by Nat "King" Cole Porter Wagoner at 8:28 PM on March 6, 2012

This reminds me of my Herman Cain-themed pizza idea: For $9.99 you get half the dough, double cheese, and extra unwelcome sausage.
posted by hanoixan at 8:39 PM on March 6, 2012 [4 favorites]

If there's ever going to be a MetaFilter thread that I can link to www.cakefarts.com from, this would be it. (Link NSFW, also Not Safe For Pastry, or General Mental Health for that matter.)
posted by radwolf76 at 9:17 PM on March 6, 2012

I see what you did there
posted by Graygorey at 10:48 PM on March 6, 2012