T-shirt singularity
March 12, 2012 11:25 AM   Subscribe

Today expensively educated graphic artists sit at expensive designer tables in expensive offices, solely in order to put "Ithaca is gorges", rainbows, and band names on t-shirts all day … but even this quasi-preindustrial situation has now come to an end. Riesenmaschine's collaborators have succeeded in automating the production of modern t-shirt designs. The chance shirt machine mechanically produces, from a chance combination of a chance picture and chance text, in a chance font and chance colors, a chance design existing only once.
posted by kenko (58 comments total) 45 users marked this as a favorite
 
Der zweisch linken can nicht geloadet. Es ist Metafiltered?
posted by mcstayinskool at 11:30 AM on March 12, 2012 [4 favorites]


It was working for me right before the post went up…
posted by kenko at 11:31 AM on March 12, 2012


Intriguing. Perhaps a method to put to rest all the myriad suggestions for new MeFi t-shirts?
posted by CancerMan at 11:32 AM on March 12, 2012


& now I can get through again.
posted by kenko at 11:32 AM on March 12, 2012


Ich kann nicht der Link machen. Wir haben es geborkt.
posted by Think_Long at 11:35 AM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


@mcstayinskool
I'm no expert in fake German, but I'm pretty sure the second sentence should be ”Ist es Metafiltert?”
posted by yeolcoatl at 11:37 AM on March 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


My god, I never thought a t-shirt reading "PLOTZ PLOTZ PLOTZ" would complete my life but here we are.
posted by griphus at 11:42 AM on March 12, 2012 [7 favorites]


Metafilter: Wir haben es geborkt.
posted by Guernsey Halleck at 11:44 AM on March 12, 2012 [6 favorites]


Business Idea:

A service that sends users t-shirts printed with a context-free tweet selected at random. Users will receive a new t-shirt every day. People will sign up but after a few weeks they will have so many shirts it won't be funny anymore. Then they sign their friends up. Stopping payment will not stop the flood of daily t-shirts, but it will change the algorithm to select increasingly dark or suggestive tweets.

Oh wait I meant art project idea.
posted by 2bucksplus at 11:45 AM on March 12, 2012 [14 favorites]


Ha! My random shirt came up with the phrase: "Please post your greed-themed art here."

Finger hovering over order button....
posted by WinnipegDragon at 11:54 AM on March 12, 2012


I might wear this one?

If they weren't 18 euro and I got a new one each month, I might actually subscribe to such a service.
posted by codacorolla at 11:58 AM on March 12, 2012


I was considering buying one with a blue dragon and what Google Translate tells me is German for "Adorn yourself, my sheetcake," but the checkout system doesn't seem to be working.
posted by Vectorcon Systems at 12:00 PM on March 12, 2012


"Behold the bagpipes of respectability."

Yep, that'll work.
posted by ShutterBun at 12:05 PM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Mock all the t-shirts you want, but you can have my "Ithaca is gorges" shirt when you pry it away from my frostbitten, "holy crap I have to trudge up Libe Slope yet again," hands.
posted by zachlipton at 12:15 PM on March 12, 2012 [9 favorites]


I used to live on Seneca and Eddy, and worked at the Jimmy John's in the Commons. Time to walk from my place to work? 5 minutes. Icy day? 3 minutes. Time to walk back home? Well over 20.
posted by griphus at 12:27 PM on March 12, 2012 [4 favorites]


This shirt is fantasic.
posted by SharkParty at 12:34 PM on March 12, 2012


@mcstayinskool
I'm no expert in fake German, but I'm pretty sure the second sentence should be ”Ist es Metafiltert?”


The first rule of fake German is there ain't no rules
posted by mcstayinskool at 12:40 PM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Nein! The first rule of fake German is Schmakeldenfelgenhafelkeit.
posted by found missing at 1:23 PM on March 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'm afraid he's got you there, mcstayinskool.
posted by kenko at 1:36 PM on March 12, 2012


Agreed.
posted by mcstayinskool at 1:42 PM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


(Picture of trashcan icon)
STRANGULATION
IS NOT A
VEGETABLE.

Sold.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:52 PM on March 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


This is just like my undergrad thesis, except that mine was for concert and party flyers and for informational posters.

My professors did not like the implication that a couple hundred hours of coding could make the bottom 90% of designers redundant.

Now I write code for a living, and spend most of my time getting paid to make myself redundant.
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 1:53 PM on March 12, 2012


        KUCHENZIMBEL
   HITLERPENIS
       MÖRDERPENIS
MEGAHAUNTING
    WANZENSATAN
ULTRADRUNK

what is this i dont even
posted by Jehan at 2:08 PM on March 12, 2012 [5 favorites]


"Only Wallpaper Paste In My Head". I've paid more than €17.40 for worse T-shirts than that.
posted by Prince Lazy I at 2:15 PM on March 12, 2012


What happens to the weggeklickten T-shirts?
They come to where aborted children watch television programs failed.
Google translate has entered the uncanny valley of automatic translation.
posted by danl at 2:22 PM on March 12, 2012


"I have a column in a cat magazine." I actually bellowed.
posted by sklero at 2:27 PM on March 12, 2012 [6 favorites]


Oh, and that text was accompanied by a silhouette of a guy chopping wood.
posted by sklero at 2:27 PM on March 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


I don't think I can wear this one. But... anybody want it? I'll ship it to you.
posted by tarheelcoxn at 2:40 PM on March 12, 2012


HAPPINESS
IS
A
WARM
ELECTRODE
posted by jason_steakums at 2:40 PM on March 12, 2012


THE WEASEL'S TAIL GLOWED BLOOD RED.
posted by moonmilk at 2:45 PM on March 12, 2012




THE WEASEL'S TAIL GLOWED BLOOD RED.

I got one with "the shark's ears glowed with death-joy".

Next to a drawing of a skier.
posted by kenko at 2:53 PM on March 12, 2012


I got one that translated to:

"April 23, Austrian Day of the Postal Stamp"

and the random image is a running rooster.


And then, I got a text-only one that reads:

KOCHEN
BLITZKRIEG
DIGITALSTRUDEL
BERNSTEIN
NUDELN
MIESMUSCHEL
KONSERVATIV
HELFEN
PRINZ


And then I got one that just says BISEXUALITÄT in gradient lettering.

I could do this all day…
posted by LMGM at 3:11 PM on March 12, 2012


NEVER ABUSE NEVER CONFUSE.
posted by Jimbob at 3:59 PM on March 12, 2012


Missing the non-sequitur tag.

Also, I would like the one with the red rooster next to the text, 'The rotting taste of hilarity'.
posted by yoga at 4:27 PM on March 12, 2012


I think the Chinese have been doing this for years.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:32 PM on March 12, 2012


Darin schwamm ein Krokodil herum, with a picture of an airplane.
(It swam around a crocodile)
posted by Glinn at 4:38 PM on March 12, 2012


(It swam around a crocodile)

"A crocodile swam around within/in it".
posted by kenko at 4:42 PM on March 12, 2012


KUCHENZIMBEL
HITLERPENIS
MÖRDERPENIS
MEGAHAUNTING
WANZENSATAN
ULTRADRUNK

what is this i dont even


I GOT THE EXACT SAME SHIRT!

SHENANIGANS!!!
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:42 PM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Paging ColdChef.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:46 PM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Operation guilty box jellyfish.
posted by klausness at 4:48 PM on March 12, 2012


I GOT THE EXACT SAME SHIRT!
I thought the idea of 'random' and the idea of 'a chance design existing only once' were mutually exclusive.
posted by MtDewd at 4:52 PM on March 12, 2012


MetaFilter shenanigans? (note the tag line above the shirt)

Also, The Policeman's Beard is Half-Constructed.
posted by klausness at 4:57 PM on March 12, 2012


ColdChef does grayes? I always thought of him as more black & white.
posted by found missing at 5:19 PM on March 12, 2012


I thought the idea of 'random' and the idea of 'a chance design existing only once' were mutually exclusive.

Technically they could eliminate each combination once it comes up.
posted by kenko at 5:19 PM on March 12, 2012


I prefer my aleatorically generated clothing to menace with spikes of [material].
posted by Hither at 6:15 PM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


This is the most amazing thing.

Like, I would wear easily half of these shirts that are coming up. It would be even better if it had fake japanese/chinese.
posted by empath at 6:18 PM on March 12, 2012


Damn, I just found one I wanted to buy (this image), but shipping to the US is €9.90!
posted by kenko at 6:35 PM on March 12, 2012


IT'S
ALL
ABOUT
BREAKFAST,
REALLY

I kinda want that on a mug!
posted by jason_steakums at 6:51 PM on March 12, 2012


These are great. And for me, totally appropriate and timely.

(Tried to link shirt picture with of wild boar bucking and the slogan 'monetary kneelessness'. However, link went to picture of a guillotine with something about 'the process' in German. Scary.) How do I get my kneelessness back? Do you have to order immediately or lose your chance shirt? This is why I can never have nice things! This and the monetary issues.
posted by bquarters at 7:19 PM on March 12, 2012


No joke, the first shirt I got said "I have a deep understanding of porn" with a very zen floral design and a blue background.
posted by quincunx at 9:29 PM on March 12, 2012


Man if someone does this with a US site and mostly English phrases (of equal quality), shipping good quality shirts for say $12 each? I will never have any money again.

It is amazing how much hilarity you can get out of a random image matched with a randomly-generated Mad Lib.
posted by rifflesby at 6:04 AM on March 13, 2012


I just got one saying "Your vagina is a wonderland".
posted by acb at 8:17 AM on March 13, 2012


Also, is “wurstvuvuzela” a euphemism?
posted by acb at 8:49 AM on March 13, 2012


A service that sends users t-shirts printed with a context-free tweet selected at random. Users will receive a new t-shirt every day. People will sign up but after a few weeks they will have so many shirts it won't be funny anymore. Then they sign their friends up. Stopping payment will not stop the flood of daily t-shirts, but it will change the algorithm to select increasingly dark or suggestive tweets.

George Clooney is learning Coptic!
posted by FatherDagon at 10:32 AM on March 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


The text in the box on the right also seems to be randomly assembled. For example,
Wusstest du, dass die Inuit das T-Shirt erfunden haben und sogar den Begriff "T-Shirt" prägten? Dieses Shirt setzt ihre astrale Tradition fort. Das sorgenvolle Shirt hat eine eigene Gefühlswelt und wird sich an deinem Körper verstanden und ermutigt fühlen. Fortschritt durch Stillstand.
Roughly translated, that's,
Did you know that the Inuit invented the T-Shirt and even coined the word "T-Shirt"? This shirt continues their astral tradition. The worried shirt has its own world of feeling and will feel understood and encouraged on your body. Progress through standing still.
posted by klausness at 11:41 AM on March 13, 2012


The mole's ears glowed with feral rage.

Man, I could keep doing this for hours...
posted by klausness at 11:45 AM on March 13, 2012


Just clicking through these (and it is addictive), I'm finding that my German language comprehension (which is currently a few shades above nonexistent) is mysteriously improving. Perhaps it's a form of language learning through combinatorial fuzzing; bombarding the language parts of the brain with random coherent (if nonsensical) phrases reinforces pattern recognition.
posted by acb at 12:35 PM on March 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


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