April 20, 2013 3:24 PM   Subscribe

Eye Bleach, Eye Bleach I can't reach, bile rising in my throat, bile rising in my throat, eye bleach, eye bleach again, nightmare fuel hatching, nightmares having sex, ohgod please no having sex, and a really cute baby hamster.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 3:28 PM on April 20, 2013 [5 favorites]

Fly sex?

Ummmmm, excuse me, be right back...
posted by Samizdata at 3:29 PM on April 20, 2013

Those crane flies might be interested in a Little Rooster.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:30 PM on April 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Also, if one crane fly A tries to smack crane fly B's ass, does B move to fast for that to happen?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:33 PM on April 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

These are the ugliest kids I have ever since. I pity the parents who had to buy the prints.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 3:36 PM on April 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

You can't win a staring contest with anything that has more than two eyes.
posted by tommasz at 3:42 PM on April 20, 2013 [3 favorites]

These are awesome, but that typo in the banner drove me up the wall.
posted by Toekneesan at 3:44 PM on April 20, 2013

I have a certain fondness for jumping spiders. As a child I was on a long trip, exiled to the backseat and was bored to tears. Then this teeny jumping spider emerged from somewhere down in the door and scurried onto the window. I looked at it and it looked at me. I would tilt my head this way and it would tilt its head (?) the same way. I would move forward and it would scuttle backwards. I would move away and it would crab after me. We kept this up for hours. A meeting of the minds...
posted by jim in austin at 4:03 PM on April 20, 2013 [8 favorites]

posted by Cold Lurkey at 4:13 PM on April 20, 2013 [7 favorites]

The mantis watch you has the best hat!

I notice you didn't show us a picture of a mantis eating the baby hamster. That was nice of you....
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:13 PM on April 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

That was nice of you....
There's this appetizing photo of a mantis chowing down on a really fat and juicy larva. Hmmm, larva.
posted by elgilito at 4:24 PM on April 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Misunderstood Spider sighs heavily. AGAIN.
posted by maudlin at 4:25 PM on April 20, 2013 [4 favorites]

this just an ad for some dude's over-processed photography?
posted by whyareyouatriangle at 4:39 PM on April 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

There's this appetizing photo

I like the way it's titled "Tasty dinne" I think the mantis got the r. They are that rapacious!
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:41 PM on April 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Fantastic. And bless you for saying ladybird rather than ladybug.
posted by Decani at 4:41 PM on April 20, 2013

That cute hamster probably has a bunch of baby parasitic spiders inside, just waiting to bust out.
posted by Kabanos at 4:53 PM on April 20, 2013 [9 favorites]

Jesus. Thanks a lot, Kabanos.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 5:03 PM on April 20, 2013

I want to take that first spider's lunch money.

Flies do it buggy style.

posted by lordaych at 5:06 PM on April 20, 2013

No jumping spiders. NO.
posted by scratch at 5:14 PM on April 20, 2013

How can you people hate jumping spiders? I'm truly baffled. This is coming from someone who was deathly afraid of spiders as a kid, now i love them and find them fascinating.
His photos are much better than any i've gotten, but one day i had my macro lens on my camera and it was close by, and i saw a small jumping spider get a fly on my kitchen window screen. I got some neat photos as i watched the spider get bigger while the fly got smaller.
posted by usagizero at 5:21 PM on April 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Spiders are the absolute best, followed closely by basement bugs and then harvestmen. No greater friends does a householder have. You don't have to love them but please let them live.
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:35 PM on April 20, 2013 [3 favorites]

What's our stance on house centipedes? I have this incredible mix of horror and fascination when I see them. Ratio changes when one runs up my arm.
posted by Peevish at 5:41 PM on April 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

Jumping spiders are awesome. It helps to remember that they are teeeeeeny tiiiiny - like, less than 5mm across the body in most cases. Even the ones down here in Australia, land of the face sized spider, they are small and adorable.

I mean look at that little face! How can you be frightened of that little guy? That's the Clown Spider.

This guy? I get this species sometimes hanging out in my bathroom. They're super curious and again, really really wee. I mean look at it! Look it it's little kitten face!
posted by Jilder at 5:48 PM on April 20, 2013 [5 favorites]

[joke about the fly's drink being spiked with a spanish human.]
posted by not_on_display at 6:00 PM on April 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

I'm pretty heeby jeebied by spiders in general, but I will happily hold jumping spiders in my hand or try to get them to jump on me. They're totally awesome.
posted by jimmythefish at 6:13 PM on April 20, 2013

Could I interest you in a mantis eating a bee?
posted by DaddyNewt at 6:18 PM on April 20, 2013

Did we kill this guy's hosting? Can't see anything, keep getting db errors.
posted by legospaceman at 6:50 PM on April 20, 2013

WTF is that (again)

Oh, come on. Let's have an ounce of sympathy here.

That is a just a regular old workaday spider minding its own damn business, that's woken up and found somebody pointing a camera a thousand times bigger than God right at it, having a perfectly reasonable reaction under the circumstances. Like, "Yawn, stretch, well, I guess I've gotta get going, those flies aren't gotta catch thamsHOLY FUCK MAN. WHAT THE... WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING LOOKING AT ME WITH THAT? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING? SHIT HOW ARE YOU EVEN HERE?" And then the flash goes off, like he just flipped the switch on his bedroom light and oh look SURPRISE somebody's replaced his lamp with a FUCKING SUPERNOVA and that poor bastard probably shits out like a yard of perfectly good silk right there.

If you woke up and rolled over and found somebody pointing a camera the size of a goddamn skyscraper you and using the Bikini Atoll as a flashbulb, your eyes would do exactly the same thing.
posted by mhoye at 6:55 PM on April 20, 2013 [15 favorites]

I love jumping spiders. Our house seems to support roughly one per room.
Wish I could see the linked site but, alas, "... User megashot_uni already has more than 'max_user_connections' active connections ..."

"Nobody goes there anymore because it's too crowded."
posted by hank at 7:08 PM on April 20, 2013

His site is swamped. Some images show up on Google Image Search: david jobi spiders

Meanwhile: some youtube jumping spiders. Cute!

Jumping spider on a cup rim.

Peacock spider (at 2:45 mark)
posted by jjj606 at 7:43 PM on April 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

I think we broke it.
posted by Coaticass at 7:58 PM on April 20, 2013

Nice! I just spent the entire day in a macro photography workshop put on by this guy, and it's an incredibly complicated & arcane niche skill. (The gear is also expensive) Going back tomorrow for another full day of advanced techniques, such as "focus stacking," which is apparently like exposure stacking in astrophotography. So much to learn. These guys are also necessarily bug experts, & the most patient and persistent people you might ever meet. One attendee asked "How long did it take you to get that shot?" and he answered "Oh, all day. We took hundreds of exposures & that was the best one."
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:11 PM on April 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

I'm assuming the 'pupil' in the spidereyes are reflections of his camera lens, and not some weird photoshop attempt?
posted by HFSH at 10:02 PM on April 20, 2013

HFSH: salticidae can actually direct their larger pair of front eyes independently, check out this video of a translucent one, you can see its retinas moving around in its head http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvN_ex95IcE&sns=em
posted by Joe Chip at 11:43 PM on April 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Salticidae courtship dance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuWMmAqnpCI&sns=em
posted by Joe Chip at 11:45 PM on April 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

The second mantis pic is so funny. It looks like it was sat on its balcony, drinking a cup of coffee and smoking a cigarette and then it noticed the cameraman.

"May I help you?"
posted by Solomon at 3:02 AM on April 21, 2013

House centipedes are pure evil. Pure, unadulterated, too-many-legs evil.
posted by sarcasticah at 2:22 PM on April 21, 2013

I really like insects and spiders. But it turns out that I really do not like it when they watch me.
posted by mudpuppie at 3:47 PM on April 21, 2013


posted by Halloween Jack at 10:50 AM on April 22, 2013

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