this horrible, unfixable problem
August 17, 2013 11:57 AM   Subscribe

 
Yo mama's so smart, she went to space!
posted by eriko at 12:02 PM on August 17, 2013


Yo momma’s so fat it’s going to make it difficult for her to believe anyone cares about her because she will carry the scars of being a fat kid for life. Those feelings never go away and she will waste a lot of her emotional energy dealing with this horrible, unfixable problem.

Yup. :-(
posted by flyingsquirrel at 12:03 PM on August 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


i feel a desperate need to chase this fairly accurate and quite depressing list with the very excellent and previously linked respectful yo mama jokes. so if you're feeling a bit glum (as i am), click on through.
posted by raihan_ at 12:08 PM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes!"
posted by Parasite Unseen at 12:11 PM on August 17, 2013 [8 favorites]


Yo mama's so fat this strikes me as just the same old concern-trolling bullshit.
posted by wreckingball at 12:14 PM on August 17, 2013 [16 favorites]


Oh, very well...

Yo momma so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.
posted by Palquito at 12:15 PM on August 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


Yo mama's so fat she belabors the point.
posted by R. Schlock at 12:17 PM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Speaking of respectful yo mama jokes, I thought this recent K-Mart commercial was pretty amusing:
posted by jonathanhughes at 12:18 PM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


I Lol'd
posted by Renoroc at 12:24 PM on August 17, 2013


This seems like an (in)appropriate place to link to Key and Peele's "Yo Mama Has Health Problems"
posted by themadthinker at 12:28 PM on August 17, 2013 [7 favorites]


We had a good thread on Ask on these a while back.

I think we did a better job!
posted by Admiral Haddock at 12:29 PM on August 17, 2013


Speaking of respectful yo mama jokes, I thought this recent K-Mart commercial was pretty amusing:

I can't tell if this is a misfire or hilarious commentary.
posted by DU at 12:38 PM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


"And then your mom goes around the corner and she licks it up"

'nuf said...

please be aware that, just below the preview window when you're typing that next comment, it says "Note: Help maintain a healthy, respectful discussion by focusing comments on the
issues, topics, and facts at hand—not at other members of the site."

Also note that this mandate does not forbid directing comments at other member's Mamas.

posted by HuronBob at 12:39 PM on August 17, 2013


Yo mama's so fat this strikes me as just the same old concern-trolling bullshit.

How would you define "concern trolling" in this context? Because I don't think it fits the usual use of that word.
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:41 PM on August 17, 2013 [6 favorites]


I miss my momma. (But not as much as yo' momma misses me).
posted by Optamystic at 12:44 PM on August 17, 2013 [6 favorites]


Some of the mixture here makes me feel uncomfortable. Diabetes and an inability to walk without wheezing are both health problems that interfere with quality of life, but neither are inherent to "fatness" or socially constructed fatness.

It seems like what we're trying to say is that there's healthy and unhealthy at a bunch of different body shapes, that "fatness" is ultimately a construct. If that's true, then the guy that's attracted to a fat woman sexually isn't a fetishist any more than the man attracted to a skinny woman or the man who finds himself attracted to different shapes of women. And yo momma's got as much right to have some casual sex with somebody that's into her body as anybody else.
posted by Apropos of Something at 12:49 PM on August 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


Yo mama's so nice and genuinely good-hearted that it pains me to think how appalled and disappointed she must be to see her much-loved child display such an unkind sense of humor.
posted by dersins at 12:51 PM on August 17, 2013 [24 favorites]


Yo' momma so fat, people with much bigger personal problems, includin' even more excess body weight than she has, constantly pointin' it out to deflect attention away from their own imperfections!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:55 PM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yo' momma is checking yo' browser history, reading yo' Metafilter, and will be havin' words with yo' in due course.
posted by cstross at 1:03 PM on August 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


Not all men who like big women have some sort of sick fetish. Beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes.
posted by double block and bleed at 1:04 PM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


your mother is outside, raking the lawn. would you like a cup of fresh lemonade, your mother? we have small and large glasses, though I would recommend the large size with plenty of ice; it's a hot one out there.
posted by Greg Nog at 1:27 PM on August 17, 2013 [8 favorites]


But... people don't still make these jokes? Surely they went out of fashion ages ago?
posted by windykites at 1:33 PM on August 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Not all men who like big women have some sort of sick fetish. Beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes.
posted by double block and bleed


I know this is true and I don't think anyone here would argue otherwise. The Yo Mama jokes in the linked article raise points about the causes and effects (emotional and physical) of obesity on women. I don't think the author posted them so men could discuss what kind of women they find attractive. There are a lot of other articles you can comment on, if that's what you want to discuss.
posted by workerant at 1:38 PM on August 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


Arrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.




Really?
posted by stanf at 1:42 PM on August 17, 2013


My mom is so into social justice she doesn't read the article before being disgusted and judgmental.
posted by boo_radley at 1:58 PM on August 17, 2013 [26 favorites]


A yo mama joke in the linked article also implies that being sexually attracted to a woman who happens to be obese is considered a fetish, which it isn't. So yeah, I think it's ok to talk about here. If you don't like it, please go comment on some other article.
posted by Brocktoon at 2:41 PM on August 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


Yo-Yo Ma so fat he can barely bow his cello.
posted by Cookiebastard at 2:57 PM on August 17, 2013 [15 favorites]


Your MOMA's so fat she could host a Christo exhibit.
posted by davelog at 3:03 PM on August 17, 2013 [24 favorites]


Mod note: Not sure why people think that fat jokes are a good idea here, but to clarify: don't do that. On the internet, no one can tell if you're just being ironic.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 3:35 PM on August 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


A yo mama joke in the linked article also implies that being sexually attracted to a woman who happens to be obese is considered a fetish, which it isn't. So yeah, I think it's ok to talk about here. If you don't like it, please go comment on some other article.

The joke in the article reads, "there will be some guys who will think of her as a fetish" (bolding mine).

To me, that isn't the same as, "Every single man who is attracted to her will be attracted because of a fetish," or, "Attraction to a woman who is obese is always a fetish and never just attraction."

In the context of the previous few jokes, which discuss the self-image issues and psychological scars that can distort a woman's perception of sexual relations for years or even a lifetime after having been preceived as overweight, I personally think that distionction is significant.

For general conversational purposes, sure, it probably doesn't matter why any one person is attracted to any other person. But to someone who's spent her life as an unterfrau, desperately wondering why someone is showing signs of attraction to a person who has been declared unf*ckable by society, the existence of even a small number of people with fetishes can be enough to make her seriously consider it as a strong likelihood.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:42 PM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


I have to say--I am completely lost on this post and thread. The whole thing seems off kilter and nothing means what it says even if you are even able to figure out what it says. Off to the Keas, beaches and ducks.
posted by rmhsinc at 3:59 PM on August 17, 2013 [3 favorites]




"Yo momma’s so fat she’s going to have a tough time finding a guy to marry her. It’s hard to find a man that treasures a woman’s intellect more than her body."

It is right here where my BSometer went off. This guy hates men, look at what you men have to put up with when you read his jokes.

I see a lot of couples out holding hands of all sizes, shapes, and mixes. I don't believe they are worried about what anyone thinks, and they seem to be having individual experiences and are not consumed by any particular phobia.
posted by Oyéah at 5:38 PM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


"I have to say--I am completely lost on this post and thread. The whole thing seems off kilter and nothing means what it says even if you are even able to figure out what it says."

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die and you're my mother but I don't recognize you because you're facing the other way when you stumble and windmill your arms and disappear in a cartoon-like manner, haha.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 6:04 PM on August 17, 2013


The only way these jokes have ever been funny is when my brother says them to me. In front of our momma.
posted by HypotheticalWoman at 6:13 PM on August 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Yo moma so promiscuous she got impregnated by a man...
Yo moma so fat that she can carry you around and nurture you in the lower half of her abdomen for 9 months...
Yo moma so stupid she would give up her own opportunities to further your chances...

Did I get the point of the joke?
posted by ambrosen at 6:16 PM on August 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


Oyéah: I don't believe they are worried about what anyone thinks, and they seem to be having individual experiences and are not consumed by any particular phobia.
This is rapidly becoming a thread full of wishful whitewashing.

If you think for even one single moment that obese people live their lives without worrying about what anyone else thinks, have self-esteem issues due to society's emphasis on the importance of being thin, and due to the pervasive message from the media that overweight people are inherently ugly, unlovable, or even evil (a la Hollywood's movie tropes)... you know obese people living much happier lives than any of my friends do.

Still, I guarantee you: it's actually true for most fat people. They worry people think they are unattractive.
posted by IAmBroom at 6:24 PM on August 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


Yo momma's so phat all the other sucka MC's be shittin themselves. You should be proud.
posted by not_on_display at 11:05 PM on August 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


Your Mom thinks Yo Mama jokes are sexist, often racist, and seldom contain even a shred of wit, and wishes you'd been raised well enough not to tell them.
posted by Mom at 9:45 AM on August 18, 2013 [3 favorites]


Asshole post. Where is flagging on OP's?
posted by nj_subgenius at 12:50 PM on August 18, 2013


workerant: "Not all men who like big women have some sort of sick fetish. Beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes.
posted by double block and bleed


I know this is true and I don't think anyone here would argue otherwise. The Yo Mama jokes in the linked article raise points about the causes and effects (emotional and physical) of obesity on women. I don't think the author posted them so men could discuss what kind of women they find attractive. There are a lot of other articles you can comment on, if that's what you want to discuss.
"

I've been thinking about this all day trying to figure out what I did wrong. Maybe you think that I'm trying to frame this in a way that suggests that who I personally find attractive is the important point here. That certainly wasn't my intent, so maybe I should expand a little further with some background.

My wife and I are both what the medical profession calls "morbidly obese", a term that drips and oozes with the judgment that society has for fat people. The point that I was trying to make, perhaps a little too obliquely, is that a huge part of how anyone, including obese women, judge their own attractiveness and self worth is by how society treats them. It doesn't treat us fat folks very well. We receive the message loud and clear that we are not attractive and to some people, disgusting. I think this message is amplified for women because society has told them through the ages that their physical attractiveness to others is the most important component of how they should calculate their self-worth.

I love my wife very much. I love her because she is smart and funny. I love her because she is strong when I am weak. I love her because she makes me happy. I love her because she is beautiful, inside and out. It's important to me to tell any other large woman (or man) who reads this post that, regardless of what others tell you through their words and actions, you are not a fat unfuckable piece of garbage. That you shouldn't loathe yourself. That there really are people in this world who can see and love you for who you really are. That you are beautiful. That there is nothing wrong with you or the people who love you.

It's not a message that we hear often enough (or even at all) and not one about which I intend to keep silent.
posted by double block and bleed at 1:38 PM on August 18, 2013 [4 favorites]


[Not sure why people think that fat jokes are a good idea here, but to clarify: don't do that. On the internet, no one can tell if you're just being ironic. ]
posted by restless_nomad at 3:35 PM on August 17 [5 favorites +] [!]


Point taken. My apologies, I was trying to be ironic. Clearly, Yo-Yo Ma is of medium build and is universally regarded as a master of his instrument.
posted by Cookiebastard at 6:37 AM on August 19, 2013


"I've been thinking about this all day trying to figure out what I did wrong."

I really like your comment and sincerely, deeply agree with the point you meant to make and clarified in this comment.

But, if you are still uncertain why you got that reaction and want to know, I'll try to explain. Basically, there's a sexist trope of:

First Male: "Women who have/lack attribute X are worthless as sex objects."
Second Male: "Au contraire! I strenuously disagree! Women who have/lack attribute X are very much sex objects!"

...where Second Male thinks and acts as if his contrary opinion is some sort of Official Stamp of Male Approval that will allow previously insecure and unhappy women to now sleep comfortably at night.

That's not what you meant, but comments like yours often do mean that.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 7:58 AM on August 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Thanks, Ivan. That explains a lot. I felt blindsided because I hadn't even considered that as a possibility, though it does make sense in hindsight.
posted by double block and bleed at 8:38 AM on August 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


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