This is how they deal with horse thievery in Denmark. (SLYT)
October 18, 2013 1:54 PM   Subscribe

 
Context and timing. That Pony is awesome where it is supposed to be, awesome for everyone who sees it there. The Pony remains awesome when it is moved next to a sleeping girlfriend, but if not everyone can see it there in its awesomeness then it is less awesome. Also the awesome Pony can lose some of its awesome lustre if it remains next to the girlfriend's bed for too long. Soon enough it may even become an encumbrance. The question, and the asking of it, "What do we do with this awesome girlfriend bed Pony?" itself lessens the awesomeness of the Pony, simply by occurring.
posted by carsonb at 2:03 PM on October 18, 2013 [4 favorites]


Thank goodness he told us his girlfriend's mass.
posted by Sternmeyer at 2:04 PM on October 18, 2013 [19 favorites]


Ok. This guys accent is hilarious. Are there any Danish comedy movies? Because a Danish comedy movie would really hit the spot right now. Even better, a Danish comedy movie about a stolen pony. Like in The Big Lebowski where the Dude gets his rug pissed on and then sets off on a quest for recompense. Except it's about a stolen pony. In Denmark. And they all agree a suitable form of restitution in a surprisingly civilized manner. A movie like this would really hit the spot right about now.
posted by Po0py at 2:08 PM on October 18, 2013 [4 favorites]


Thank goodness he told us his girlfriend's mass.

I think it lets us imagine the girlfriend-to-pony ratio to evaluate the romanticness of the scene.

I am having a hard time coming to grips with the realization that I typed that sentence.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:10 PM on October 18, 2013 [25 favorites]


ROFL. Actually laughing out loud at this. I was expecting to see mob vigilante justice from this youtube video, this was so much better. I had one of my best holidays ever in Denmark, the Danish people we met were so friendly and the country is beautiful. This reminds me I need to go back.
posted by Dr Ew at 2:10 PM on October 18, 2013 [3 favorites]


So his girlfriend was the pony fan, but the thief was the one with the "Your pace or mine" t-shirt? Uh-huh.

Danes are awesome. I was delighted but not surprised by the ready cargo bike and the generally excellent English in the captions (the few typos here and there were charming and I refuse to deduct points.)
posted by maudlin at 2:12 PM on October 18, 2013 [5 favorites]


wasn't it a unicorn? I'm confused..
posted by mumimor at 2:13 PM on October 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


That pony tied the whole park together, dude!
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:13 PM on October 18, 2013 [6 favorites]


I hope Denmark does something nice for this dude, both for the sweet way he handled this and for awesome publicity he is bringing to the country as well as sharing his pony with his neighbors in the first place.
posted by Blasdelb at 2:13 PM on October 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'm not so sure I dug the part where he cut off the pony thief's hand. That did seem a little extreme for MetaFilter to just keep glossing over.
posted by Nanukthedog at 2:19 PM on October 18, 2013 [10 favorites]


Public shaming and corporal punishment? How barbaric!
posted by ckape at 2:20 PM on October 18, 2013 [3 favorites]


of course he has a bike-truck
posted by hellojed at 2:22 PM on October 18, 2013 [9 favorites]


The only shaming I saw was America shaming... including right up to when he carts his recovered pony back home on a tricycle

If the language weren't so damn hard to learn, I'd consider moving there.

[on edit: Dammit hellojed...]
posted by mondo dentro at 2:23 PM on October 18, 2013


This method would not work for everyone. For instance when I think I am sweetly chastising someone for stealing my pony I'm told I look and sound menacing despite my internal totally non-confrontational attitude.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 2:24 PM on October 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is adorable. I think the three of them should get together for drinks sometime.

It's as if . . . they're all members of a community. Occasionally I think it must be pretty awesome to be Scandinavian.
posted by Countess Elena at 2:25 PM on October 18, 2013 [6 favorites]


It's as if . . . they're all members of a community.

And then there are the ones with "Egyptian names."
posted by Sys Rq at 2:29 PM on October 18, 2013 [4 favorites]


oh jeez. Good catch.
posted by Countess Elena at 2:31 PM on October 18, 2013 [3 favorites]


They're so polite I'd have thought they were Canadian. "Sorry." "I'm sorry." "Sorry." second to last comic, there
posted by echo target at 2:33 PM on October 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wow the initial captions reminded me a ton of the opening credits to Holy Grail.

Also I liked the doggie, who I think he called an "Ooni"? Yes? This is Danish for doggie? I must know so I can begin using it on everyone. "Hi ooni!" I will say to all my friends, "hello doggie!" and then we will all have a lovely party.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 2:33 PM on October 18, 2013 [3 favorites]


Are there any Danish comedy movies?

Klovn (Clown) is a Danish sitcom which had a follow-up movie.
posted by infinitewindow at 2:36 PM on October 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


Try "In China They Eat Dogs" and "Old Men in New Cars".
posted by you at 2:38 PM on October 18, 2013 [4 favorites]


This method would not work for everyone. For instance when I think I am sweetly chastising someone for stealing my pony I'm told I look and sound menacing despite my internal totally non-confrontational attitude.

The thing is, the video doesn't show his two large friends with fire axes who are hanging about. You would politely return the pony under the conditions, too.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:39 PM on October 18, 2013


And then there are the ones with "Egyptian names."

Are we implying something evil or untoward with this reference? If not then ignore all that follows. If so....

Funny, I read that as him bypassing the person with the 'Egyptian name' simply because they'd be less likely to be up to crazy shenanigans related to borrowing a huge wooden pony sculpture at 2am.... Which is a flavor of stereotyping of course, but it is also certainly the most innocuous and generous sort I think.

I guess it could be pocket racism... I guess... but I didn't see it manifested really.

Or is that really how racism in Denmark, where everything is ponies and sunshine it seems, works?

This whole video: *mind blown*
posted by RolandOfEld at 2:41 PM on October 18, 2013 [9 favorites]


Funny, I read that as him bypassing the person with the 'Egyptian name' simply because they'd be less likely to be up to crazy shenanigans related to borrowing a huge wooden pony sculpture at 2am.... Which is a flavor of stereotyping of course, but it is also certainly the most innocuous and generous sort I think.

OK, that actually does make sense.

(But Denmark is still the Muhammad cartoon place.)
posted by Sys Rq at 2:43 PM on October 18, 2013


I have dutch ancestors, and this video explains so much about my family history...
posted by davejay at 2:44 PM on October 18, 2013


OK so I Danish-googled this. Apparently Sif-square (where the pony was placed and then stolen) is a pocket park designed by the city for romantic tete-a-tete.
Also there is a very, very corny song based on the refrain: let me be your love-pony And the artist says he has this thing for found-wood ponies because he met his girl-friend while attending a festival within another pink pony he'd built.

And then there are the ones with "Egyptian names."
Well, for what it's worth, the eye-witnesses who led him on to the thief probably described a blond guy. In that particular area, pony-guy wouldn't have treated a thief with an Egyptian name differently (as attested by the fact that he describes it as Egyptian rather than foreign; racist Danes don't discern between nations). But yeah, Denmark is not paradise, even if it looks like it.
posted by mumimor at 2:45 PM on October 18, 2013 [4 favorites]


I have dutch ancestors, and this video explains so much about my family history...

Erm, Danish ≠ Dutch.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:47 PM on October 18, 2013 [11 favorites]


"Also I liked the doggie, who I think he called an "Ooni"? Yes? This is Danish for doggie?"

Danish for dog is hund (sounds like "hoon"). I think he called it Hundi (sounds like "hoony").
posted by mbrubeck at 2:53 PM on October 18, 2013


(But Denmark is still the Muhammad cartoon place.)

Yes, and the US is still the place that gambled with the entire world economy, but most of us know that America /= all Americans. And the kind of bigotry expressed in the whole cartoon drama is not prevalent in the area where this pony incident happened
posted by mumimor at 2:54 PM on October 18, 2013 [7 favorites]


I thought it was funny that given six possibilities, he knew the pony-thief would be the Danish guy. And he was right.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:56 PM on October 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


man if i had a few drinks in me i would have stolen that pony in a heartbeat. the wife wouldn't have been too happy with me but ... damn, that's a nice pony.


i wonder if he's going to put it out again?
posted by lester's sock puppet at 2:57 PM on October 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


My Big-Ass, Bike-Mounted Pony: Denmark Is Magic (And A Bit Hungover)

This show, I would watch.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 2:58 PM on October 18, 2013 [12 favorites]


Needs a Seattle set remake with about fifty false leads and a terrible ending.
posted by Artw at 3:01 PM on October 18, 2013 [9 favorites]


Danes seems like the most sensible people on the whole damn planet.
posted by KokuRyu at 3:06 PM on October 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


Yes, and the US is still the place that gambled with the entire world economy, but most of us know that America /= all Americans. And the kind of bigotry expressed in the whole cartoon drama is not prevalent in the area where this pony incident happened

With respect, Denmark is the size of Tennessee and has a smaller, more homogeneous population. As different as Memphis may be from Knoxville, I feel no qualms lumping them together. Sorry.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:07 PM on October 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


Mrs. Pterodactyl, he called the dog "hundi", which is a diminutive for "hund", the danish word for dog. So "doggy" is the correct translation for "hundi". You could still say that to greet your friends, though. \derail
posted by amf at 3:10 PM on October 18, 2013


Denmark is more like the size of Maryland in both area and population, not that it probably changes your argument at all.
posted by thewumpusisdead at 3:13 PM on October 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


(But Denmark is still the Muhammad cartoon place.)

This is a low and disgusting insult on a country. You should be ashamed to sink to such a depth. Maybe Canada is "that genocide against Native Americans place"? Pathetic.
posted by Thing at 3:16 PM on October 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


Meta
posted by Artw at 3:19 PM on October 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


Does anyone else wonder how two staggeringly drunk guys were able to get the pony upstairs without completely thrashing it?
posted by Chuffy at 3:26 PM on October 18, 2013 [4 favorites]


Yay, thanks mbrubeck and amf! Hundi!
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 3:27 PM on October 18, 2013


Mysterious teleportation of objects often occurs when drunks are involved.
posted by Artw at 3:27 PM on October 18, 2013 [5 favorites]


When you reach a certain level of intoxication, you get superpowers. Or so I've thought previously.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:28 PM on October 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


I was enjoying this well enough already and then suddenly: CARGO TRIKE

:D :D :D
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 3:31 PM on October 18, 2013 [6 favorites]


[Folks please take the derail about racial homogeneity either to the open MeTa thread or offsite please? It's derailling here.]
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:46 PM on October 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


[on edit: Dammit hellojed...]

Each time an edit/on edit/ edited to add thing happens, a basketful of kittens die a horrible death.

Their fate is in your hands.
posted by angrycat at 4:04 PM on October 18, 2013 [5 favorites]


Even the Swedes have a hard time "getting" the Danes:
Instead of collecting “adult” points for a Volvo, summer-house and perfect ratio of two kids (one boy and one girl) two years apart, they’re quite happy with their hippy friends, knocking back a few beers and cycling a beat-up old bike to work.

But this advice seems to apply here:
Adapting to the Danes
• Be direct. Directness and frankness in communication is seen as a sign of sincerity and honesty. When you gain their respect, they’ll start liking you for it.
• Be yourself. Personality and individuality is welcomed in Denmark.

posted by dhartung at 4:12 PM on October 18, 2013 [3 favorites]


More Danish awesomeness: even their buses are cool.
posted by maudlin at 4:24 PM on October 18, 2013 [23 favorites]


family legend has it that one of my ancestors' uncles stole a horse once

they hung him
posted by pyramid termite at 4:47 PM on October 18, 2013


That bus commercial is the best thing I've seen in awhile. Thanks.
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 4:53 PM on October 18, 2013


And then there are the ones with "Egyptian names."

The one. The other two apartments (out of four) were rented to girls. Or at least to girls' names.

Which, given the pinkness and the unicorn-ness of the objet, makes it a bit surprising that he got it in one.
posted by IndigoJones at 5:35 PM on October 18, 2013


I think it's implied in the video that he had a rough description of the perpetrator, since he talked to some eyewitnesses to the pony theft. I imagine he knew it was a Danish-looking male, so it makes sense that that's the first apartment he'd try.

This is adorable. I want to live in a world where thefts can be solved by simply nicely asking for one's stolen property back, and where everyone involved can be cheerful and reasonable about it.
posted by Scientist at 6:08 PM on October 18, 2013 [6 favorites]




"This is how they deal with horse thievery in Denmark."

It's not death by hanging?! Socialists!
posted by markkraft at 6:20 PM on October 18, 2013


His 45 kilo woman friend likes ponies.....awwww.

Also, the cargo trike.
posted by mule98J at 8:46 PM on October 18, 2013


Denmark: Came for the pitchfork, stayed for the torch.

Mmmmm, torchy....
posted by y2karl at 12:11 AM on October 19, 2013


My absolute favorite Danish tourism commercial.

Denmark: Where Norwegians go to get freaky.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 1:56 AM on October 19, 2013 [3 favorites]


maudlin: even their buses are cool.

Epic! Thanks!
posted by Mister Bijou at 2:18 AM on October 19, 2013


a Norwegian comedy sketch about how all Danes speak so much English they've secretly forgotten how to speak Danish.

I love the sketch, but I don't think it has anything to do with speaking too much English; they're just mocking how guttural and indistinct Danish sounds. (Apparently it can be an actual problem for Danes; Danish children learn to speak later than children in other Nordic countries, and it was recently on the news that some Danish movie theaters had started subtitling Danish movies to make them easier to understand.)
posted by martinrebas at 4:22 AM on October 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


And then there are two of the best drama series ever produced:The Killing ( not the one in Seattle) and Borgen--The latter, in my estimation, is one of the most compelling political dramas I have ever watched. West Wing with a female President, character and plot development, soul and tension, idealism tempered by pragmatism, human frailty, courage and no one walking down the halls of Parliament. OK, it really isn't like West Wing. And I defy any viewer, man or woman, to watch the series with out falling in love/respect for the President--called by her first name, Bridgett and played by Sidse Babette Knudsen
posted by rmhsinc at 4:43 AM on October 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


a Norwegian comedy sketch about how all Danes speak so much English they've secretly forgotten how to speak Danish

Counterpoint: Norwegian is nonsense.
posted by MartinWisse at 5:00 AM on October 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


Being a fan of Bron/Broen, I like to say "I understand Scandinavia about as well as someone who's only seen Sons of Anarchy understands California."

But then there's the handy, dandy "Scandinavia and The World" to explain stuff like the difference between Scandi-accents and why a Danish Princess has an Australian accent
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 7:09 AM on October 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Nice bike! I have one like that, but it's motorized. Y'all may envy me now.
posted by Too-Ticky at 7:18 AM on October 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


I just showed this to my MLP-loving children as a great example of conflict resolution. Princess Celestia would approve.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:04 AM on October 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Indeed, this is much more family-friendly than the Italian version, where someone wakes up to find a giant My Little Pony head in their bed.
posted by oulipian at 9:22 AM on October 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


You know, Italian-Americans get the heat for the horse head in the bed thing, but it was Irish-American Tom Hagen's doing, and I think evokes the scene in The Public Enemy when Irish-American gangster James Cagney gets revenge on a horse that killed his boss by shooting the horse.

Despite what's shown in the Godfather films, the Italian crime syndicates were traditionally pretty hands off when it came to violence, and outsourced it to Irish and Jewish contract killers (the source of the Jewish Murder Inc. and possibly the source of the Irish-American Whyos famous price list of criminal services).

Of course, the only reason I say that is because I am Irish-American and Jewish, and so I'm claiming my history. But, fuck it, my father lives in Italy half the year, and had for almost two decades, so I'm going to go ahead and declare myself Italian as well. And I live in Little Italy!

Anyway, Sinatra didn't really get his role in From Here to Eternity because of his mob ties, and the fact that the book and film suggested he did was a constant source of irritation for him. He got the role for a far more quotidian reason. His wife, Ava Gardner, was friends with studio head Harry Cohn, and after Eli Wallach refused the role she pushed for Sinatra to get it.

The Irish-American Ava Gardner and the Jewish Harry Cohn, mind you. Not that I care. I'm Italian.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 10:02 AM on October 19, 2013 [3 favorites]


and it was recently on the news that some Danish movie theaters had started subtitling Danish movies to make them easier to understand

Surely this is to do with dialects/regional accents (jysk, basically)? Where, while I don't like them doing it one bit, to be fair, jysk dialects can be pretty different to rigsdansk - where I'm from, people can speak whole grammatically complete sentences without even going near a consonant, and there's a word for 'the' (which functions as it does in english, preceding the noun).
posted by Dysk at 10:06 AM on October 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


I showed the video to my daughter, and she said oh my god all the drunken crazies, I'm embarrassed for my nation (she's 14, everything is embarrassing).

BUT, seeing it again I realized Ms 45 kg was not the girlfriend, but the woman he had been out drinking with all night, who originally had the idea of stealing the pony as a gift for his girlfriend. Which in a sense makes the weight issue more relevant, because somehow, this little guy has demounted and transported the pony up into the apartment only with the help of an even smaller woman.
So many layers of Danishness in such a short youtube-video. It's sweet

For the record, I did much worse things when I was young, and so did my mom and dad before me, and all incidents where handled this way (without the youtube-publicity). It's tradition.

THe most similar incident I remember was when a friend and I wanted to celebrate our top-grades in the Classics class when we were 17 by giving a Dionysian party. We had wine in vats, roasted lamb and piglets and generally enough of everything (and yeah, my friend's parents were amazing). Some of the guests didn't really get the concept of Decorum, so at 5 in the morning, the police arrived. Some of the guests had moved all the white-painted solid rock markers from the side of the main road in the area into the middle, so the bus couldn't get through. Talk about drunk super-powers.
Friend and I had to get a wheel-barrow and move all the stones back while police, bus and passengers heading for work waited. All were all smiles, praising us for our good manners and diligence and joking about our party.
The only real trouble came from the dean of our school, who was very unpopular, also among the parents. Someone had thrown road markers into his pool, and my friend and I refused to dive for them. Not good for our education, but supported by the parents.
posted by mumimor at 10:09 AM on October 19, 2013 [5 favorites]


Nice bike! I have one like that, but it's motorized. Y'all may envy me now.

I hate those brombakfietsen, they're always in front of me on the Y ferry spewing fumes in my face throughout the crossing and taking ages to get off the boat.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:45 PM on October 19, 2013


and it was recently on the news that some Danish movie theaters had started subtitling Danish movies to make them easier to understand

Dutch television does this increasingly as well, especially with regional Flemish accents (something Belgian tv is also guilty about, especially with westvlaams); I blame computers for making it easier to do this.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:49 PM on October 19, 2013


Air yeh the punny teef?

Smile when you seh det, pudna.
posted by Twang at 10:41 AM on October 20, 2013


Of course, the only reason I say that is because I am Irish-American and Jewish, and so I'm claiming my history. But, fuck it, my father lives in Italy half the year, and had for almost two decades, so I'm going to go ahead and declare myself Italian as well. And I live in Little Italy!

So lets all just steer well clear of Bunny Ultramod then. One way or another, that guy will just straight up kill you!
posted by Naberius at 10:20 AM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


You should have been able to assume that from my name.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 10:30 AM on October 21, 2013




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