Please lick responsibly

February 24, 2014 10:28 AM

I realize that it is only Monday. I also realize that it is still very much Winter in much of the Northern Hemisphere. But I also realized today that the word "Poptails" has never before been mentioned on the Blue. Time to change that: Booze + Popsicle Recipe = POPTAILS ! What's your poison? Dirty Pirate Popsicles, Corona Beer Popsicles, Three Musketeers Poptail, Bourbon Butterscotch Latte Popsicles & more, much more. Or just invent your own. (Keep in mind that if you use too much alcohol it won't freeze. (Worst case scenario: SLUSHIE!) Just how much alcohol to use for a poptail.
posted by spock (25 comments total)

Actually, for February it felt remarkably like spring down here. 14 degrees, warm enough to take my coat off, overcast but sunny, with that light spring breeze that always seems to make the birds cheep more happily.
posted by MartinWisse at 10:34 AM on February 24, 2014

See also: Cocksicles (Instructable), if playing with Liquid Nitrogen is your thing.
posted by spock at 10:34 AM on February 24, 2014

Oh dear, I applaud the concept, but "poptail" is now my least favorite word.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:34 AM on February 24, 2014 [2 favorites]

I take it back, "cocksicle" is worse. Although, if you could make a listicle of your cocksicles, that would be... something.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:40 AM on February 24, 2014 [14 favorites]

Just how much alcohol to use for a poptail.

After a couple of my pure ethanol and liquid nitrogen poptail/cocksicles you don't care about the cryogenic burns any more.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:48 AM on February 24, 2014 [2 favorites]

Keep in mind that if you use too much alcohol it won't freeze

I stopped reading here.
posted by mazola at 10:51 AM on February 24, 2014 [2 favorites]

Well, yes mazola: If the idea is simply to get bombed quickest, then perhaps the whole concept of freezing/frozen might not get you there as quickly as the old-fashioned liquid form factor. However, you may note that “Freezing dulls the flavors of the ingredient so the alcohol tastes stronger than if you mixed it in a glass”. (2nd to last link).
posted by spock at 10:56 AM on February 24, 2014

Although, if you could make a listicle of your cocksicles, that would be... something.

I think I saw a guy do that on a bed of nails during a circus sideshow type thing. Looked uncomfortable.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:59 AM on February 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

One more thing to add (sorry): Pinterest makes a great meta-search-engine for terms like "poptail". 1, 2, 3 (for a few examples).
posted by spock at 11:06 AM on February 24, 2014

Here's what I need to know: Will the poptail be this summer's cronut?

I guess I also need to know if beer was tested.
posted by notyou at 11:14 AM on February 24, 2014

Related: Blasdelb's recipe for high octane agar shots.

LIKE A BOMB
posted by zamboni at 11:20 AM on February 24, 2014 [3 favorites]

I guess I also need to know if beer was tested.
There's a link for Corona above, but it might be challenging-
"Open a bottle and pour it into any form"
posted by MtDewd at 11:23 AM on February 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

Cripes. I went straight for the invent your own link and then the Kitchn how much alcohol link in which I learned that some folks in Brooklyn are at the forefront of this... and I just did not see that Corona Beer Popsicles link. Blinded by my rush to quip.

Really poor showing. Shoddy. Below even my low standards.
posted by notyou at 11:32 AM on February 24, 2014

When the Virginia alcohol board cracked down on a local operation for serving frozen beer popsicles, saying that it ran afoul of the rules regarding serving beer immediately, I thought it was nonsense. Now I see they were just trying to prevent the rise of the term poptail and I retract everything bad I said about them.
posted by phearlez at 12:07 PM on February 24, 2014

Actually, for February it felt remarkably like spring down here. 14 degrees, warm enough to take my coat off, overcast but sunny, with that light spring breeze that always seems to make the birds cheep more happily.

Damn you, sir, DAMN YOU AND YOUR CELSIUS!!
posted by eriko at 12:33 PM on February 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

notyou: "Here's what I need to know: Will the poptail be this summer's cronut?

I guess I also need to know if beer was tested."

CRONUT? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE!
posted by symbioid at 12:48 PM on February 24, 2014

I take it back, "cocksicle" is worse.

I would eat one.

“Freezing dulls the flavors of the ingredient so the alcohol tastes stronger than if you mixed it in a glass”

This is incoherent, self-contradictory, and flatly untrue. The colder something is, the less intense it tastes partly due to numbing of the tastebuds and partly due to volatile compounds that are usually released by warmth not being released.

This is especially true for alcohol. For a tasty demonstration, pour a shot of your favourite hard liquor into each of two glasses. Add ice to one. Taste both. The cold one does not taste stronger.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:51 PM on February 24, 2014 [2 favorites]

The cold one does not taste stronger.

Which is why one palms a glass of scotch to make sure to bring out the subtle tones of sheep dung, clam, and ball sweat that make the bottle cost several hundred dollars.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 12:59 PM on February 24, 2014 [5 favorites]

you're drinking the wrong scotch dude
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 1:17 PM on February 24, 2014

zamboni:
"Related: Blasdelb's recipe for high octane agar shots.

LIKE A BOMB"

I do kind of regret posting my ultraleaded recipe because in a home environment it really does create a set of fire hazards not that dissimilar to the hot diethyl ether solvents that make crank meth labs go boom. Highly concentrated flammable gasses with low flash points make for interesting but very dangerous toys. Luckily for you I'm going to share a more detailed protocol for making much safer gel shots of science that are still more than stupidly alcoholic.

The basic idea is that agar is a sugar that produces gels unlike Jello, which is a protein that unfortunately denatures in ~37% alcohol. Jello shots however start becoming difficult to make at 20% and have a functional limit of around 30%. Agar, however, has no pesky biochemical limits to get in the way, unless you go crazy and run up against the limits of its physical chemistry around 80%.

All you need is some 151 Rum, some premixed coconut agar powder, cookware you trust, and a credible fire safety plan. Find yourself a small pot with a lid that will drip condensation back into the pan, pour in your booze, and put that sucker on medium heat until you can hear the booze simmering but not boiling. TAKE YOUR POT OFF THE HEAT, MOVE THE POT AWAY FROM YOUR HEAT SOURCE, and place it onto a pot holder. Failing to observe this step, depending on the conditions of your kitchen, may indeed set your shit off like a bomb. Once you have the pot a safe distance away from any hot elements or flames, quickly remove the lid, dump an amount of agar that would be appropriate for the same amount of water according to the instructions on the box, whisk the booze with a fork to mix, and replace the lid.

The more the booze is exposed to the air, the less boozy it will be but not worrying about it will still make for some extraordinarily strong shots. Keep it simmering and stirred with the lid on for a about five minutes until the agar goes into solution, do not check it near the heat - remember, like a bomb. Once its ready, pour the agar solution directly into heat resistant molds (I have stainless steel condiment cups, but whatever works) sitting on ice, cover them, and then move them straight into the fridge. If you do this on an especially large scale be mindful of the fact that non-specialty refrigerators do spark in normal operation and stick with the ice.

This works perfectly well with other liquors and flavors of agar, but I wouldn't recommend flavorless agar and vodka because it will taste awful. Also, do keep in mind that if you do it carefully this will end up at something like 50-65% abv and anything more than the tiniest nibble needs to be chased a lot more than you would expect. If this whole explanation seems a bit square, its because I have spent way too much time chasing down students working hard to set themselves, their work, and others on fire with ethanol doing shit like this and worse. Think about what you would do in the event of a fire so that you do something better than stick your face in it, be mindful and aware, and you'll be fine.
posted by Blasdelb at 1:54 PM on February 24, 2014 [12 favorites]

If you want to do it the slightly less dangerous way, you can dissolve the agar in a much smaller amount of hot alcohol (or, indeed, another hot liquid if you don't mind diluting the alcohol content slightly) and then add the rest in after it's dissolved and reached its gelling temperature.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:04 PM on February 24, 2014

Which is why one palms a glass of scotch to make sure to bring out the subtle tones of sheep dung, clam, and ball sweat that make the bottle cost several hundred dollars.

If it is scotch whisky that is not ball sweat. It is ball condensation.

Whiskey is the one with the ball sweat.

It's all about the climate.
posted by srboisvert at 5:24 PM on February 24, 2014

Poptail sounds like the cutest name for a bunny.
posted by discopolo at 3:27 AM on February 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

Sadly, Cocksicle not so much.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 4:58 AM on February 25, 2014

Gotta love the lickresponsibly tag. I find myself hoping that one finds more use.
posted by polymath at 8:10 PM on February 27, 2014