Pepsi Red
June 18, 2014 6:02 PM Subscribe
First Moon Party A new ad from Hello Flo, a tampon subscription service.
And I was going to call mine "Cherry Slush Club", much better title!!!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:05 PM on June 18, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:05 PM on June 18, 2014 [3 favorites]
I THINK PEPSI RED IS A PRETTY GOOD TITLE TOO!!
posted by wemayfreeze at 6:06 PM on June 18, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by wemayfreeze at 6:06 PM on June 18, 2014 [3 favorites]
And the perfect stinger at the very end. Awesome.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 6:06 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 6:06 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
VAGICIAN
posted by wemayfreeze at 6:09 PM on June 18, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by wemayfreeze at 6:09 PM on June 18, 2014 [7 favorites]
And the perfect stinger at the very end. Awesome.
I know! I don't want to give it away, but I'll just say: I wish they did :(
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:10 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
I know! I don't want to give it away, but I'll just say: I wish they did :(
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:10 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
There is something deeply apt about an uterus pinata...
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:11 PM on June 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:11 PM on June 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
I was so ready to dislike this, but it's so good.
posted by alms at 6:15 PM on June 18, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by alms at 6:15 PM on June 18, 2014 [5 favorites]
I loved this way more than I expected.
posted by rtha at 6:30 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by rtha at 6:30 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
A follow up to the equally awesome "Gyno Camp" from last year.
posted by feistycakes at 6:32 PM on June 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by feistycakes at 6:32 PM on June 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
oh my goodness this is wonderful
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:33 PM on June 18, 2014
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:33 PM on June 18, 2014
This counts as evidence that humankind is actually evolving for the better.
It's not much, but I'll take it.
"These are coffee filters."
posted by allthinky at 6:40 PM on June 18, 2014 [5 favorites]
It's not much, but I'll take it.
"These are coffee filters."
posted by allthinky at 6:40 PM on June 18, 2014 [5 favorites]
It's like... the opposite of every other period-supply commercial ever made, in such a good way.
But seriously, does anyone actually need a tampon subscription service? They sell them at the grocery store.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:40 PM on June 18, 2014
But seriously, does anyone actually need a tampon subscription service? They sell them at the grocery store.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:40 PM on June 18, 2014
The young woman reminds me so much of my own daughter that I am just going to go ahead and set up a Pinterest board to start planning her First Moon party.
posted by padraigin at 6:45 PM on June 18, 2014 [18 favorites]
posted by padraigin at 6:45 PM on June 18, 2014 [18 favorites]
But seriously, does anyone actually need a tampon subscription service? They sell them at the grocery store.
Yeah, but if you get caught short you can't just decide to bake your period tomorrow after you've had a chance to go to the store or run next door to ask your neighbor Mrs. McGillicutty for a spare cup of Tampax. Having them come to you would be one less thing you'd need to remember to get.
Consider - they sell toilet paper at the grocery store, but you've still had a moment when there hasn't been any in the house and you don't find out until after you've pooped, right? Now picture that happening, only instead of dealing with remnant poop, you're dealing with a continuous flow of BLOOD.
This is kind of genius and I'm considering it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:48 PM on June 18, 2014 [14 favorites]
Yeah, but if you get caught short you can't just decide to bake your period tomorrow after you've had a chance to go to the store or run next door to ask your neighbor Mrs. McGillicutty for a spare cup of Tampax. Having them come to you would be one less thing you'd need to remember to get.
Consider - they sell toilet paper at the grocery store, but you've still had a moment when there hasn't been any in the house and you don't find out until after you've pooped, right? Now picture that happening, only instead of dealing with remnant poop, you're dealing with a continuous flow of BLOOD.
This is kind of genius and I'm considering it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:48 PM on June 18, 2014 [14 favorites]
Especially since they include snacks with each shipment.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:49 PM on June 18, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:49 PM on June 18, 2014 [5 favorites]
But seriously, does anyone actually need a tampon subscription service? They sell them at the grocery store.
Not every kid has access to a grocery store.
Seriously, this is cool. And I love that teen girls can say "vag" or "vagina" and it's totally normal now.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 6:49 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
Not every kid has access to a grocery store.
Seriously, this is cool. And I love that teen girls can say "vag" or "vagina" and it's totally normal now.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 6:49 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
"Mike...Drop."
That's where I totally lost it.
posted by magstheaxe at 7:05 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
That's where I totally lost it.
posted by magstheaxe at 7:05 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
But seriously, does anyone actually need a tampon subscription service?
Amazon gives me discounts now on the products I subscribe to. I never, ever, ever again have to remember to get Q-tips or razor blades or shampoo at the grocery store. Now that you mention it, I would consider adding TP to the list. If I needed them, tampons would be on the list too.
posted by carsonb at 7:11 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
Amazon gives me discounts now on the products I subscribe to. I never, ever, ever again have to remember to get Q-tips or razor blades or shampoo at the grocery store. Now that you mention it, I would consider adding TP to the list. If I needed them, tampons would be on the list too.
posted by carsonb at 7:11 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
The red tide was Florida shaped. Seems appropriate.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 7:12 PM on June 18, 2014
posted by Mister Fabulous at 7:12 PM on June 18, 2014
Shouldn't it have been Alabama, not Florida?
posted by Flannery Culp at 7:14 PM on June 18, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by Flannery Culp at 7:14 PM on June 18, 2014 [5 favorites]
Now that you mention it, I would consider adding TP to the list.
I order tp from amazon. It's great because those big packages (shut up, like you don't poop a lot too) take up most of your grocery cart; mail ordering the stupid stuff makes grocery shopping significantly more convenient.
The ad is funny, but it's probably a smart business too.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:25 PM on June 18, 2014
I order tp from amazon. It's great because those big packages (shut up, like you don't poop a lot too) take up most of your grocery cart; mail ordering the stupid stuff makes grocery shopping significantly more convenient.
The ad is funny, but it's probably a smart business too.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:25 PM on June 18, 2014
But wait, if it's glittery, should one be speaking with her OB/GYN? Asking for a friend.
posted by padraigin at 7:27 PM on June 18, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by padraigin at 7:27 PM on June 18, 2014 [3 favorites]
i knew someone would do this. right after i saw that dollar shave subscription thing, i immediately thought of this as a business idea.
i'm surprised it wasn't done as like, a silicon valley "disruptive" thing like washio though.
posted by emptythought at 7:42 PM on June 18, 2014
i'm surprised it wasn't done as like, a silicon valley "disruptive" thing like washio though.
posted by emptythought at 7:42 PM on June 18, 2014
does anyone actually need a tampon subscription service?
I think the real question is, does anyone (who menstruates) NOT need a tampon subscription service?
Seriously this is the first subscription service I've heard about that I think is actually useful and not just lazy entrepreneurs trying to jump on a trend.
posted by Sara C. at 7:55 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
I think the real question is, does anyone (who menstruates) NOT need a tampon subscription service?
Seriously this is the first subscription service I've heard about that I think is actually useful and not just lazy entrepreneurs trying to jump on a trend.
posted by Sara C. at 7:55 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
Huh. I guess there are women who would use a tampon subscription service. I am a total disaster in life, but I don't think I've ever run out of tampons. Maybe it's a function of having the kind of PMS that forces me to remember to check if my supply is running low. Anyway, they don't have very much selection, so it wouldn't work for me.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 7:55 PM on June 18, 2014 [5 favorites]
i'm surprised it wasn't done as like, a silicon valley "disruptive" thing like washio though.I don't think the Silicon Valley disruptor types are very attuned to products that only appeal to women, though.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 7:55 PM on June 18, 2014 [5 favorites]
I'll admit I have more tampon emergencies where I realize I don't have one on my person while out and about than I have emergencies where I run out at home, but seriously, it's the one consumable I need like clockwork once a month.
The first person to market tampon "loosies" -- where you can buy just one or two at any convenience* store -- will be a genius, mark my words.
And yes theoretically vending machines exist, but they're never where you need them.
*Yes, I know many convenience stores sell small boxes of tampons. But I don't need 20. I need one, and maybe a backup for my purse.
posted by Sara C. at 7:59 PM on June 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
The first person to market tampon "loosies" -- where you can buy just one or two at any convenience* store -- will be a genius, mark my words.
And yes theoretically vending machines exist, but they're never where you need them.
*Yes, I know many convenience stores sell small boxes of tampons. But I don't need 20. I need one, and maybe a backup for my purse.
posted by Sara C. at 7:59 PM on June 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
Grandpa!
posted by Room 641-A at 8:01 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Room 641-A at 8:01 PM on June 18, 2014 [2 favorites]
And yes theoretically vending machines exist, but they're never where you need them.
I have never, ever seen one of those that was actually fully-functional. I have seen several eat my quarters, and then mock me with their empty tampon slots. I think they're a cruel joke perpetuated upon us by movie theaters and bar bathrooms.
I love this commercial and I'm intrigued by this subscription service. Snacks, you say? That's the magic word.
I wish they were glittery...
posted by none of these will bring disaster at 8:05 PM on June 18, 2014 [8 favorites]
I have never, ever seen one of those that was actually fully-functional. I have seen several eat my quarters, and then mock me with their empty tampon slots. I think they're a cruel joke perpetuated upon us by movie theaters and bar bathrooms.
I love this commercial and I'm intrigued by this subscription service. Snacks, you say? That's the magic word.
I wish they were glittery...
posted by none of these will bring disaster at 8:05 PM on June 18, 2014 [8 favorites]
Does it make me a bad person that I feel like I'd hate my period a lot less if the related supplies were, in fact, sparkly? Would 100% shell out for a sparkly diva cup, and sparkly pads, etc, for my kid.
posted by MeghanC at 8:10 PM on June 18, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by MeghanC at 8:10 PM on June 18, 2014 [6 favorites]
I am going to get this (or something like it) for my 13-year-old niece. She's currently living with her dad (my brother) full time. I know he's one of those Embarrassing Dads and, well, maybe having these appear in the mail once a month will make life a bit easier for her.
I'm totally the sort of aunt that would throw a First Moon party, she would HAAAAATE it. Heh heh heh.
posted by Elly Vortex at 8:14 PM on June 18, 2014 [3 favorites]
I'm totally the sort of aunt that would throw a First Moon party, she would HAAAAATE it. Heh heh heh.
posted by Elly Vortex at 8:14 PM on June 18, 2014 [3 favorites]
I think the real question is, does anyone (who menstruates) NOT need a tampon subscription service?
Users of menstrual cups!
Seriously, I never thought how happy I would be to never have to buy tampons again. So great.
posted by rtha at 8:16 PM on June 18, 2014 [14 favorites]
Users of menstrual cups!
Seriously, I never thought how happy I would be to never have to buy tampons again. So great.
posted by rtha at 8:16 PM on June 18, 2014 [14 favorites]
But seriously, does anyone actually need a tampon subscription service? They sell them at the grocery store.
I kind of feel like I do now, and I'm a dude.
Schistosoma haematobium, I knew I would have need for you one day.
posted by maxsparber at 8:17 PM on June 18, 2014
I kind of feel like I do now, and I'm a dude.
Schistosoma haematobium, I knew I would have need for you one day.
posted by maxsparber at 8:17 PM on June 18, 2014
Does it make me a bad person that I feel like I'd hate my period a lot less if the related supplies were, in fact, sparkly? Would 100% shell out for a sparkly diva cup, and sparkly pads, etc, for my kid.
Not at all! If there was something that would lure my tweens into being interested in diva cups or reusable pads that wasn't their weird mother, I'd be funding that Kickstarter quietly from over here like you wouldn't believe.
posted by padraigin at 8:25 PM on June 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
Not at all! If there was something that would lure my tweens into being interested in diva cups or reusable pads that wasn't their weird mother, I'd be funding that Kickstarter quietly from over here like you wouldn't believe.
posted by padraigin at 8:25 PM on June 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
Schistosoma haematobium, I knew I would have need for you one day.
Some signs, which do not always happen, are...excitedness when least expected, and an odd feeling which many with this condition call undescribable.
o_0
posted by hydrophonic at 8:30 PM on June 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
Some signs, which do not always happen, are...excitedness when least expected, and an odd feeling which many with this condition call undescribable.
o_0
posted by hydrophonic at 8:30 PM on June 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
Does it make me a bad person that I feel like I'd hate my period a lot less if the related supplies were, in fact, sparkly? Would 100% shell out for a sparkly diva cup, and sparkly pads, etc, for my kid.I'm surprised that they haven't tried sparkly, after Kotex introduced those super-brightly-colored U tampons and pads a couple of years ago. I'm all for brightly-colored tampons, but not enough to put up with plastic applicators, which are the devil.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:44 PM on June 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
Arbitrary, thank goodness for plastic :D I bought a box with cardboard applicators bymmistake once and they aren't for my lady parts. Ahem! I ended up putting them in the main washroom at my art college with a big "Help yourself" because I am pretty sure the vending machine didn't work in there either.
Anyhow, yes, when I was a teenager, I would have loved this service.
posted by Calzephyr at 8:52 PM on June 18, 2014
Anyhow, yes, when I was a teenager, I would have loved this service.
posted by Calzephyr at 8:52 PM on June 18, 2014
...you've still had a moment when there hasn't been any in the house and you don't find out until after you've pooped, right? Now picture that happening, only instead of dealing with remnant poop, you're dealing with a continuous flow of BLOOD.
EC, I'm going to assume you aren't doing the "ewwww, disgusting menstrual blood" thing here, but running out of sanitary products is no big deal compared to running out of toilet paper.
Menstruating? Fumble around under the sink and grab a washcloth till you can go/or send someone to the store. Rinse in cold water, wash, and you're good.
Out of TB in the middle of serious business? Leave MY washcloths alone!
Same thing with undies: Blood? Soak and wash. Poop? Goodbye undies.
I'm sooo past needing any of this (thank you goddess Kamakhya, for a complete hyst at 30!) At 14, when I was extremely shy about asking my guardians or store clerks for those embarrassing things, having a brown paper package come once a month would have been heavenly. Later, the convenience would have been nice. However, IMO, you may keep your sparklies and your bright color dyes. One more thing to be allergic to.
*sigh*
posted by BlueHorse at 9:00 PM on June 18, 2014
EC, I'm going to assume you aren't doing the "ewwww, disgusting menstrual blood" thing here, but running out of sanitary products is no big deal compared to running out of toilet paper.
Menstruating? Fumble around under the sink and grab a washcloth till you can go/or send someone to the store. Rinse in cold water, wash, and you're good.
Out of TB in the middle of serious business? Leave MY washcloths alone!
Same thing with undies: Blood? Soak and wash. Poop? Goodbye undies.
I'm sooo past needing any of this (thank you goddess Kamakhya, for a complete hyst at 30!) At 14, when I was extremely shy about asking my guardians or store clerks for those embarrassing things, having a brown paper package come once a month would have been heavenly. Later, the convenience would have been nice. However, IMO, you may keep your sparklies and your bright color dyes. One more thing to be allergic to.
*sigh*
posted by BlueHorse at 9:00 PM on June 18, 2014
Grandpa bobbing for ovaries was just wonderful.
posted by arcticseal at 9:13 PM on June 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by arcticseal at 9:13 PM on June 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
That was genius! First Moon parties should totally be a thing.
"Do you make vagina cakes? Hello...?"
posted by billiebee at 2:35 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
"Do you make vagina cakes? Hello...?"
posted by billiebee at 2:35 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
My best friend in primary school had a really sweet dad who sometimes did embarrassing dad things. So, her first period, she got it in the first class in the morning at school, and afterwards went home to soak in the tub.
Her dad, upon getting home, knocked on the bathroom door, asking if she was okay.
"Dad," she yelled. "I'm just taking a bath!"
"So," he said through the door, "I heard something happened at school -- during first period."
Her reaction was similar to mine and our little friends' when we heard about it: dads who make puns about menstruation are breaking some fundamental law of the universe
posted by angrycat at 3:30 AM on June 19, 2014 [23 favorites]
Her dad, upon getting home, knocked on the bathroom door, asking if she was okay.
"Dad," she yelled. "I'm just taking a bath!"
"So," he said through the door, "I heard something happened at school -- during first period."
Her reaction was similar to mine and our little friends' when we heard about it: dads who make puns about menstruation are breaking some fundamental law of the universe
posted by angrycat at 3:30 AM on June 19, 2014 [23 favorites]
also, my first period experience was having our dog find the washcloth I had stuffed in my underwear as an emergency measure and then left to soak in the sink. The dog pulled the washcloth out of the sink and flew through the house, shaking that washcloth like a bloody, horrifying flag
posted by angrycat at 3:33 AM on June 19, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by angrycat at 3:33 AM on June 19, 2014 [3 favorites]
And yes theoretically vending machines exist, but they're never where you need them.
I unexpectedly started a period during my senior prom, and the only machines they had in the ladies' room at the Hartford Hilton sold...condoms. Fortunately another girl came in a moment after I did and saw me standing in front of the machine with a forlorn look and gave me a spare. I've also recently started getting a bit unpredictable again, and there's been a couple visits to family where I've had to take my sister-in-law aside and prevail upon her because she and I are the only two menstruating women in the family right now....
And Bluehorse - I don't think blood is icky, but I'm confused why you'd think washing blood off a washcloth is less inconvenient than washing feces out of underwear. You have no problem using a washcloth as a backup for pads and washing it out after, but you wouldn't just wash out underwear with skidmarks? Really?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:43 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
I unexpectedly started a period during my senior prom, and the only machines they had in the ladies' room at the Hartford Hilton sold...condoms. Fortunately another girl came in a moment after I did and saw me standing in front of the machine with a forlorn look and gave me a spare. I've also recently started getting a bit unpredictable again, and there's been a couple visits to family where I've had to take my sister-in-law aside and prevail upon her because she and I are the only two menstruating women in the family right now....
And Bluehorse - I don't think blood is icky, but I'm confused why you'd think washing blood off a washcloth is less inconvenient than washing feces out of underwear. You have no problem using a washcloth as a backup for pads and washing it out after, but you wouldn't just wash out underwear with skidmarks? Really?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:43 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
Ooh - first period stories?
My parents were pretty good about answering questions, and making sure we had books about what was coming well ahead of time, so when I finally got my period, while my parents were away and we kids were staying at my grandparents' apartment, I was ready. I would just grab myself some pads and no one would ever have to know. Okay, so I didn't actually have any pads. But cool as a cucumber, I went through all the cabinets and drawers in the bathroom, then the hall closet, then finally my grandparents' bathroom, then the coat closet where they kept extra supplies. Nothing. Finally I had to ask my grandmother where she kept hers. I can still hear her cracking up.
Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret told me nothing about menopause. I was so betrayed.
posted by Mchelly at 3:55 AM on June 19, 2014 [12 favorites]
My parents were pretty good about answering questions, and making sure we had books about what was coming well ahead of time, so when I finally got my period, while my parents were away and we kids were staying at my grandparents' apartment, I was ready. I would just grab myself some pads and no one would ever have to know. Okay, so I didn't actually have any pads. But cool as a cucumber, I went through all the cabinets and drawers in the bathroom, then the hall closet, then finally my grandparents' bathroom, then the coat closet where they kept extra supplies. Nothing. Finally I had to ask my grandmother where she kept hers. I can still hear her cracking up.
Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret told me nothing about menopause. I was so betrayed.
posted by Mchelly at 3:55 AM on June 19, 2014 [12 favorites]
First Moon parties should totally be a thing.
First Moon parties totally already ARE a thing, and as terrifying evidence I submit this post from Allie Brosh about hers. (No pictures, it's before she started drawing them regularly. Hopefully she will illustrate it in a future book!)
Also, I somehow thought Sheldon Cooper had already invented this business model in an early episode of the Big Bang Theory (Season 1, Episode 4) but it turns out his idea was for bulk online ordering rather than the subscription model.
posted by pie ninja at 5:36 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
First Moon parties totally already ARE a thing, and as terrifying evidence I submit this post from Allie Brosh about hers. (No pictures, it's before she started drawing them regularly. Hopefully she will illustrate it in a future book!)
Also, I somehow thought Sheldon Cooper had already invented this business model in an early episode of the Big Bang Theory (Season 1, Episode 4) but it turns out his idea was for bulk online ordering rather than the subscription model.
posted by pie ninja at 5:36 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
Seriously this is the first subscription service I've heard about that I think is actually useful and not just lazy entrepreneurs trying to jump on a trend.
I'm female, use tampons, and my first thought upon seeing this post was Bubble Time!
posted by longdaysjourney at 6:12 AM on June 19, 2014
I'm female, use tampons, and my first thought upon seeing this post was Bubble Time!
posted by longdaysjourney at 6:12 AM on June 19, 2014
EC, I'm going to assume you aren't doing the "ewwww, disgusting menstrual blood" thing here
I think by and large that it is 100% okay for any woman to feel frustrated, annoyed, vexed, and even grossed out by the totally natural things that come out of her own body, and the occasional messes made in their disposal. It has nothing to do with hating oneself or one's body, or passing judgment on other women whose bodies do the same thing. Menstrual blood is not magical liquid feminism because it comes out the baby hole, and women do not need to pretend that menstruation is a beautiful glorious or enviable state of affairs in order to maintain their feminist membership cards.
posted by elizardbits at 6:19 AM on June 19, 2014 [33 favorites]
I think by and large that it is 100% okay for any woman to feel frustrated, annoyed, vexed, and even grossed out by the totally natural things that come out of her own body, and the occasional messes made in their disposal. It has nothing to do with hating oneself or one's body, or passing judgment on other women whose bodies do the same thing. Menstrual blood is not magical liquid feminism because it comes out the baby hole, and women do not need to pretend that menstruation is a beautiful glorious or enviable state of affairs in order to maintain their feminist membership cards.
posted by elizardbits at 6:19 AM on June 19, 2014 [33 favorites]
And yes, I am aware that this was not actually what EC was saying but my point is that I totally support her right to do so if she wants to.
posted by elizardbits at 6:24 AM on June 19, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 6:24 AM on June 19, 2014 [5 favorites]
Vagina cakes! Are ! A! Thing!
Oh hell yeah. Check out the Cakewrecks site - she often features misguided attempts at various other genital cakes - uterus cakes, vulva cakes, vulvas-in-the-act-of-giving-birth cakes, penis cakes, ejaculating penis cakes, sperm cakes, eggs-being-fertilized cakes....
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:29 AM on June 19, 2014
Oh hell yeah. Check out the Cakewrecks site - she often features misguided attempts at various other genital cakes - uterus cakes, vulva cakes, vulvas-in-the-act-of-giving-birth cakes, penis cakes, ejaculating penis cakes, sperm cakes, eggs-being-fertilized cakes....
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:29 AM on June 19, 2014
Thanks, elizardbits.
For the record - and this is to be perfectly frank and self-confessional - with me, a washcloth in the pants wouldn't be sufficient on the first day of the period and the resulting laundry required would be a pain in the absolute damn ass. And I was also drawing a comparison between cleaning up the remains of something that has already completed its passage from one's body, and cleaning up after something that is continuing to issue from one's body.
Although now I'm more baffled why cleaning up a washcloth is no biggie but some poo in underwear "ruins" it. I mean...that's just laundry too.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:32 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
For the record - and this is to be perfectly frank and self-confessional - with me, a washcloth in the pants wouldn't be sufficient on the first day of the period and the resulting laundry required would be a pain in the absolute damn ass. And I was also drawing a comparison between cleaning up the remains of something that has already completed its passage from one's body, and cleaning up after something that is continuing to issue from one's body.
Although now I'm more baffled why cleaning up a washcloth is no biggie but some poo in underwear "ruins" it. I mean...that's just laundry too.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:32 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
Thank you, pie ninja. I knew I had heard about this sort of Moon Party before from something very funny. (I initially thought it might have been My Name is Earl for some reason.) So glad it was Allie Brosh and so glad I read that essay again.
posted by montaigneisright at 6:34 AM on June 19, 2014
posted by montaigneisright at 6:34 AM on June 19, 2014
Yeah, but if you get caught short you can't just decide to bake your period tomorrow after you've had a chance to go to the store ....
Isn't that kind of the point though? I can't imaging trusting a subscription service for ANYTHING I might need-need as opposed to just want-need. Or am I the only one who has ever kept hitting refresh and seeing that my package continues to be in Toledo?
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 7:44 AM on June 19, 2014
Isn't that kind of the point though? I can't imaging trusting a subscription service for ANYTHING I might need-need as opposed to just want-need. Or am I the only one who has ever kept hitting refresh and seeing that my package continues to be in Toledo?
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 7:44 AM on June 19, 2014
Yeah, I just always have a spare box of tampons, and if I have to break into it, I replace it and have a new spare box of tampons. It's not like tampons go bad after a month.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 7:49 AM on June 19, 2014
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 7:49 AM on June 19, 2014
Yeah, I just always have a spare box of tampons, and if I have to break into it, I replace it and have a new spare box of tampons. It's not like tampons go bad after a month.
....so, one of the signs that one is a few years away from perimenopause starting to kick in is that every once in a while you will have a period that lasts for a wacky-long amount of time - like, oh, two and a half weeks. And you end up blowing through the spare box and then the spare one you got after that, and there's still no let-up and you haven't had a chance to get another spare yet but it's still going on and oh my god what the hell why doesn't this just stop are you kidding me i need another box already?
....Ask me how I know that. Go ahead, ask me how I know that right now.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:14 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
....so, one of the signs that one is a few years away from perimenopause starting to kick in is that every once in a while you will have a period that lasts for a wacky-long amount of time - like, oh, two and a half weeks. And you end up blowing through the spare box and then the spare one you got after that, and there's still no let-up and you haven't had a chance to get another spare yet but it's still going on and oh my god what the hell why doesn't this just stop are you kidding me i need another box already?
....Ask me how I know that. Go ahead, ask me how I know that right now.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:14 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
I'm suddenly wondering if we have emergency tampons (and cups!) in our earthquake emergency kits. We should, if only because they are also good at stopping non-menstrual bleeding, a thing that can happen because earthquakes. Hmmm. Maybe I'll go check the kit in the car right now...
posted by rtha at 8:23 AM on June 19, 2014
posted by rtha at 8:23 AM on June 19, 2014
Oh yes! You should absolutely have tampons, pads, or device of choice in an emergency kit! For one thing, you or someone you love might, well, need them. And for another, they are indeed great for covering bleeding wounds.
Also, if you are ever shooting a movie and want some fire in the foreground, tampons soaked in kerosene are highly absorbent, small, and have a fuse.
posted by ThatFuzzyBastard at 8:47 AM on June 19, 2014
Also, if you are ever shooting a movie and want some fire in the foreground, tampons soaked in kerosene are highly absorbent, small, and have a fuse.
posted by ThatFuzzyBastard at 8:47 AM on June 19, 2014
....so, one of the signs that one is a few years away from perimenopause starting to kick in is that every once in a while you will have a period that lasts for a wacky-long amount of time - like, oh, two and a half weeks. And you end up blowing through the spare box and then the spare one you got after that, and there's still no let-up and you haven't had a chance to get another spare yet but it's still going on and oh my god what the hell why doesn't this just stop are you kidding me i need another box already?I don't think this issue is going to be solved by a service that tracks your period and sends you supplies five days before your next one is due to start, though!
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:50 AM on June 19, 2014
I don't think this issue is going to be solved by a service that tracks your period and sends you supplies five days before your next one is due to start, though!
My larger point - which I failed to elucidate clearly - is that being prepared with a spare box is certainly an ideal, but there are occasions in which life gets away from you and that may not happen and you could still get caught short, so therefore a service that would be a one-time "set it and forget it" regular thing in which necessary supplies are regularly sent direct to you without your having to remember to order them may be indeed perceived as a boon to some.
Moreover, the failure to have a spare backup box at home at all times isn't as such a sign of poor planning, more like a sign that "shit happens". Anything that offers the possibility of softening the blow of "shit happens" is in my cool book.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:56 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
My larger point - which I failed to elucidate clearly - is that being prepared with a spare box is certainly an ideal, but there are occasions in which life gets away from you and that may not happen and you could still get caught short, so therefore a service that would be a one-time "set it and forget it" regular thing in which necessary supplies are regularly sent direct to you without your having to remember to order them may be indeed perceived as a boon to some.
Moreover, the failure to have a spare backup box at home at all times isn't as such a sign of poor planning, more like a sign that "shit happens". Anything that offers the possibility of softening the blow of "shit happens" is in my cool book.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:56 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
"So," he said through the door, "I heard something happened at school -- during first period."
I got my first period during 9th grade health class, which was the first period of the day, on a day when we were covering the chapter on menstruation.
My uterus is highly suggestible.
posted by phunniemee at 9:00 AM on June 19, 2014 [4 favorites]
I got my first period during 9th grade health class, which was the first period of the day, on a day when we were covering the chapter on menstruation.
My uterus is highly suggestible.
posted by phunniemee at 9:00 AM on June 19, 2014 [4 favorites]
Menstruating? Fumble around under the sink and grab a washcloth till you can go/or send someone to the store. Rinse in cold water, wash, and you're good.
I thought that I had little left to learn about the secret ways of women. I know nothing, Jon Flo.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:05 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
I thought that I had little left to learn about the secret ways of women. I know nothing, Jon Flo.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:05 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
A friend sent this to my wife last night, and the whole family enjoyed it, each in our own unique way.
Wife (a big fan of the Diva Cup; wrote her undergraduate thesis on the HISTORY OF MENSTRUAL PRODUCT ADVERTISING; threw a PUBERTY PARTY for the Girl Scout troop at the end of the fifth grade at which menstruation and various menstrual pruducts were described in exacting detail): Delighted hooting and cackling, puntuated by gasps for breath when she was laughing so hard that she couldn't breathe.
10-year-old son: ABJECT CONFUSION, but watched the darned thing to make mom happy and because he knew his sister was in for it.
Me: Enjoyed the video, found it quite funny, but felt pre-emptively embarrassed for...
Almost 12-year-old daughter: DEEP MORTIFICATION, punctuated by gasps of dismay and huffy sidelong glances at Mom.
Truly, this was a cinematic masterpiece that hit our family at just the right time. Bravo, Hello Flo.
posted by cheapskatebay at 9:37 AM on June 19, 2014 [7 favorites]
Wife (a big fan of the Diva Cup; wrote her undergraduate thesis on the HISTORY OF MENSTRUAL PRODUCT ADVERTISING; threw a PUBERTY PARTY for the Girl Scout troop at the end of the fifth grade at which menstruation and various menstrual pruducts were described in exacting detail): Delighted hooting and cackling, puntuated by gasps for breath when she was laughing so hard that she couldn't breathe.
10-year-old son: ABJECT CONFUSION, but watched the darned thing to make mom happy and because he knew his sister was in for it.
Me: Enjoyed the video, found it quite funny, but felt pre-emptively embarrassed for...
Almost 12-year-old daughter: DEEP MORTIFICATION, punctuated by gasps of dismay and huffy sidelong glances at Mom.
Truly, this was a cinematic masterpiece that hit our family at just the right time. Bravo, Hello Flo.
posted by cheapskatebay at 9:37 AM on June 19, 2014 [7 favorites]
Also, if you are ever shooting a movie and want some fire in the foreground, tampons soaked in kerosene are highly absorbent, small, and have a fuse.
The things I learn on this site!
posted by rtha at 9:39 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
The things I learn on this site!
posted by rtha at 9:39 AM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
This had a very distinct Malcolm in the Middle vibe. if Malcolm had been Mallory I could see this as an episode.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 2:02 PM on June 19, 2014
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 2:02 PM on June 19, 2014
Also, if you are ever shooting a movie and want some fire in the foreground, tampons soaked in kerosene are highly absorbent, small, and have a fuse.
It's a really good thing I don't have any kerosene right now.
posted by nooneyouknow at 2:16 PM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
It's a really good thing I don't have any kerosene right now.
posted by nooneyouknow at 2:16 PM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
My dad never did seem to catch on that he had to pick me up from school early once a month, like clockwork, for "an upset stomach." (I got horrible cramps when I was a teenager, and frequently a migraine too, yay!) Had he figured it out, he would have made fun of me mercilessly, and refused to pick me up.
posted by sarcasticah at 3:38 PM on June 19, 2014
posted by sarcasticah at 3:38 PM on June 19, 2014
Oh, God, this has all shaken loose a memory -
A few years ago I was in a drug store and suddenly a clerk poked her head around the corner into the aisle I was in and saw me, and said "excuse me, miss? You come help?" Puzzled, I followed her back into the next aisle, where she was standing next to an embarrassed-looking man in his 40's who briefly explained the situation - he'd stopped to ask her for help but she was having some language-barrier issues, and maybe I could help instead.
"uh, I can try," I said, still confused. The clerk was walking away. "What with?"
And he told me the rest of the story - his 13-year-old daughter was home sick, and had called him to ask if he could pick up some supplies on his lunch break to bring home for her. "Her mother usually does this," he said, "but she's on a business trip, so it's just me, and..." he gestured at the wall of products. "So, uh, exactly what do I get?" The look on his face was like - you know this scene from Moscow On The Hudson, where the Russian expatriate Robin Williams plays goes out to the supermarket to get coffee for the family he's befriended and he is just so overwhelmed by the sheer scope of choice available when it comes to coffee he loses it in the middle of the supermarket?
Yeah. Only with embarrassed-dad on top of all of that at the same time.
I smothered any impulse to crack up and gave him a little Menstrual Products 101 there in the aisle, patiently answering questions like "but if I get like a thin maxi instead of a regular maxi, is one better?" or "if she's a teenager does that make a difference?" and such, and stuck around as moral support long enough for him to finally take the leap and pick something. I checked whether his daughter had expressed any preference, but from the sounds of things she was just as embarrassed to be having to make the call as he was to receive it.
That was about 10 years ago now, and that girl might be a young mom by now. I hope they're both doing well.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:34 PM on June 19, 2014 [4 favorites]
A few years ago I was in a drug store and suddenly a clerk poked her head around the corner into the aisle I was in and saw me, and said "excuse me, miss? You come help?" Puzzled, I followed her back into the next aisle, where she was standing next to an embarrassed-looking man in his 40's who briefly explained the situation - he'd stopped to ask her for help but she was having some language-barrier issues, and maybe I could help instead.
"uh, I can try," I said, still confused. The clerk was walking away. "What with?"
And he told me the rest of the story - his 13-year-old daughter was home sick, and had called him to ask if he could pick up some supplies on his lunch break to bring home for her. "Her mother usually does this," he said, "but she's on a business trip, so it's just me, and..." he gestured at the wall of products. "So, uh, exactly what do I get?" The look on his face was like - you know this scene from Moscow On The Hudson, where the Russian expatriate Robin Williams plays goes out to the supermarket to get coffee for the family he's befriended and he is just so overwhelmed by the sheer scope of choice available when it comes to coffee he loses it in the middle of the supermarket?
Yeah. Only with embarrassed-dad on top of all of that at the same time.
I smothered any impulse to crack up and gave him a little Menstrual Products 101 there in the aisle, patiently answering questions like "but if I get like a thin maxi instead of a regular maxi, is one better?" or "if she's a teenager does that make a difference?" and such, and stuck around as moral support long enough for him to finally take the leap and pick something. I checked whether his daughter had expressed any preference, but from the sounds of things she was just as embarrassed to be having to make the call as he was to receive it.
That was about 10 years ago now, and that girl might be a young mom by now. I hope they're both doing well.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:34 PM on June 19, 2014 [4 favorites]
...but you wouldn't just wash out underwear with skidmarks? Really?
Although now I'm more baffled why cleaning up a washcloth is no biggie but some poo in underwear "ruins" it. I mean...that's just laundry too
As the mother of four, the grandma of five, former kennel and stable cleaner, vet assistant, and calf castrater/dehorner, I'm well acquainted with blood, poo, and vomit. Often up to the elbows in it.
Blood? Doesn't bother me which end it comes from.
Skidmarks? (hopefully in a kid's undies, not one's spouse's or one's own.) Spray and Wash 'em and toss in the laundry.
Major poo accident? Nope. That gets tossed. I'd prefer not to deal with it, thenkyew.
Three out of my four bambinos wore cloth diapers, and they were always washed separately, bleached well, and hung out in the sun, when possible.
Just me I guess. I also buy white dish cloths and wash and bleach those separately from other clothes, too. We all have our foibles.
Menstrual blood is not magical liquid feminism because it comes out the baby hole, and women do not need to pretend that menstruation is a beautiful glorious or enviable state of affairs in order to maintain their feminist membership cards.
Ah, ha. Ah, ha.
Ha ha ha ha!
Magical beautiful glorious or enviable? How about the biggest major pain in the ass? You notice I did mention my all encompassing gratitude that the whole thing went away surgically? Regrets, NONE! A friend of mine had a complete hyst about a year later, and said she spent a several weeks feeling like she was "less of a woman" because she "lost" her uterus. I said nothing. After a couple months with no period, she was all WHOO HOOO! This rocks.
Now the middle granddaughter has just started at age 13, and the best I can do for her is be pragmatic. Not in a million years would I say anything negative to her about it, but celebrate that PITA? Not me. However, she has already figured out on her own that it's going to be a source of discomfort, slight embarrassment (with her peers) and fiddly aggravation. I'm pretty sure if her mom or I attempted to throw a Moon Party, she's throw it right back at us.
It's still just blood, though.
*shrugs*
posted by BlueHorse at 10:14 PM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
Although now I'm more baffled why cleaning up a washcloth is no biggie but some poo in underwear "ruins" it. I mean...that's just laundry too
As the mother of four, the grandma of five, former kennel and stable cleaner, vet assistant, and calf castrater/dehorner, I'm well acquainted with blood, poo, and vomit. Often up to the elbows in it.
Blood? Doesn't bother me which end it comes from.
Skidmarks? (hopefully in a kid's undies, not one's spouse's or one's own.) Spray and Wash 'em and toss in the laundry.
Major poo accident? Nope. That gets tossed. I'd prefer not to deal with it, thenkyew.
Three out of my four bambinos wore cloth diapers, and they were always washed separately, bleached well, and hung out in the sun, when possible.
Just me I guess. I also buy white dish cloths and wash and bleach those separately from other clothes, too. We all have our foibles.
Menstrual blood is not magical liquid feminism because it comes out the baby hole, and women do not need to pretend that menstruation is a beautiful glorious or enviable state of affairs in order to maintain their feminist membership cards.
Ah, ha. Ah, ha.
Ha ha ha ha!
Magical beautiful glorious or enviable? How about the biggest major pain in the ass? You notice I did mention my all encompassing gratitude that the whole thing went away surgically? Regrets, NONE! A friend of mine had a complete hyst about a year later, and said she spent a several weeks feeling like she was "less of a woman" because she "lost" her uterus. I said nothing. After a couple months with no period, she was all WHOO HOOO! This rocks.
Now the middle granddaughter has just started at age 13, and the best I can do for her is be pragmatic. Not in a million years would I say anything negative to her about it, but celebrate that PITA? Not me. However, she has already figured out on her own that it's going to be a source of discomfort, slight embarrassment (with her peers) and fiddly aggravation. I'm pretty sure if her mom or I attempted to throw a Moon Party, she's throw it right back at us.
It's still just blood, though.
*shrugs*
posted by BlueHorse at 10:14 PM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]
Fair enough, Bluehorse, but the kind of "runs out of toilet paper" incident i was describing doesn't constitute a "major poo accident", and you still said it "ruined" underwear so I was confused. As well as feeling a bit put-upon, frankly, that it felt like you were criticizing someone for feeling that dealing with the lack of menstrual supplies to be an inconvenience. Even if just washing a washcloth is no big deal, there are those for whom a washcloth in the pants wouldn't be good ENOUGH as a stopgap and would thus be understandably pissed about the lack of supplies.
Flo says hello to us all differently, and everyone relates to her differently. That's all.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:58 AM on June 20, 2014
Flo says hello to us all differently, and everyone relates to her differently. That's all.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:58 AM on June 20, 2014
There is also the who-the-fuck-wants-to-walk-around-with-a-washcloth-in-their-pants problem, but different strokes for different folks, I guess.
posted by phunniemee at 5:04 AM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by phunniemee at 5:04 AM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
...there are those for whom a washcloth in the pants wouldn't be good ENOUGH as a stopgap...
As there are those for whom a "runs out of toilet paper" incident might be considered more than a minor "poo accident", and "ruined" I suppose is in the eye of the beholder.
Believe me, I remember that running out is not an inconvenience, it's a major pain in the wazoo! I have a distinct and unfortunate memory of having to do the washcloth thing for a solo zoom trip to the store on the first day of a visit from that bitch Flo. And no, phunniemee, the w-t-f-w-t-w-a-w-a-w-i-t-p problem is not something I enjoyed doing particularly, but kleenex or TP wasn't going to cut it, and I thought using the husband's t-shirt might be a bit tacky.
Actually, I'm kinda curious what women who find themselves in the unenviable position of being alone in the house with no supplies would do--eventually you have to go get something, but how? I've known women who could make do with a paper towel to get out and get supplies; the washcloth worked for me (TMI on the intarwebs!) and Empress says that would be insufficient.
Truly, the crimson tide ebbs and flows differently for us all.
posted by BlueHorse at 6:03 PM on June 20, 2014
As there are those for whom a "runs out of toilet paper" incident might be considered more than a minor "poo accident", and "ruined" I suppose is in the eye of the beholder.
Believe me, I remember that running out is not an inconvenience, it's a major pain in the wazoo! I have a distinct and unfortunate memory of having to do the washcloth thing for a solo zoom trip to the store on the first day of a visit from that bitch Flo. And no, phunniemee, the w-t-f-w-t-w-a-w-a-w-i-t-p problem is not something I enjoyed doing particularly, but kleenex or TP wasn't going to cut it, and I thought using the husband's t-shirt might be a bit tacky.
Actually, I'm kinda curious what women who find themselves in the unenviable position of being alone in the house with no supplies would do--eventually you have to go get something, but how? I've known women who could make do with a paper towel to get out and get supplies; the washcloth worked for me (TMI on the intarwebs!) and Empress says that would be insufficient.
Truly, the crimson tide ebbs and flows differently for us all.
posted by BlueHorse at 6:03 PM on June 20, 2014
Actually, I'm kinda curious what women who find themselves in the unenviable position of being alone in the house with no supplies would do--eventually you have to go get something, but how?
I have, off the top of my head: phoned a friend and made them go purchase things and bring them over, literally stuffed a (small) washcloth into my cunt as if it were a tampon and gone to the store like that, and on one memorable occasion just sat on the toilet and cried until someone came home and was able to go procure supplies.
For probably obvious reasons, I'm pretty dedicated to my diva cup now.
posted by MeghanC at 6:22 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
I have, off the top of my head: phoned a friend and made them go purchase things and bring them over, literally stuffed a (small) washcloth into my cunt as if it were a tampon and gone to the store like that, and on one memorable occasion just sat on the toilet and cried until someone came home and was able to go procure supplies.
For probably obvious reasons, I'm pretty dedicated to my diva cup now.
posted by MeghanC at 6:22 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
eventually you have to go get something, but how
paper towel kaiju wall
posted by elizardbits at 7:19 PM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]
paper towel kaiju wall
posted by elizardbits at 7:19 PM on June 20, 2014 [2 favorites]
I put on my worst underwear and my thickest darkest jeans and just hope I don't bleed on anything on the way to the store.
The worst, though, is when you first start dating a guy, and the whole Tampons At Your House thing is all complicated, because having tampons at someone's house feels like a relationship. Except that all the Cool Girl No Really It's Casual in the world isn't going to stop biology. I think early in relationships is the time when I wish dudes understood how periods work the most.
DUDES WE HAVE PERIODS SOMETIMES AND WE NEED STUFF AND ITS BEST FOR EVERYONE IF THE STUFF IS AT YOUR HOUSE
posted by Sara C. at 10:51 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
The worst, though, is when you first start dating a guy, and the whole Tampons At Your House thing is all complicated, because having tampons at someone's house feels like a relationship. Except that all the Cool Girl No Really It's Casual in the world isn't going to stop biology. I think early in relationships is the time when I wish dudes understood how periods work the most.
DUDES WE HAVE PERIODS SOMETIMES AND WE NEED STUFF AND ITS BEST FOR EVERYONE IF THE STUFF IS AT YOUR HOUSE
posted by Sara C. at 10:51 PM on June 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
« Older The jester's last laugh | Dear Marc Andreessen Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:03 PM on June 18, 2014 [15 favorites]