The Only Miracle Jesus' Mother Asked For Was Wine
July 16, 2014 10:34 AM   Subscribe

How New World Wine Resurrects Old Religion
I used to be a regular at a wine bar in San Clemente, a beach town in California where my wife and I lived when we were first married. The ‘Tuscan’ decor of the place was a little too vivid for my taste, but the wine was priced right and the owner was a great conversationalist. He would tell us stories from behind the bar about his travels to vineyards in Chile and New Zealand, and he had a charming populist streak. When people got too pretentious about the wine, he would roll his eyes and say: ‘Relax, it’s just a beverage.’ He was wrong about that, of course. Since its invention more than 8,000 years ago, wine has always been more than just a beverage.
posted by the man of twists and turns (11 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
Fantastic post.
posted by KokuRyu at 12:26 PM on July 16, 2014

It's a tooth stainer
It's a social lubricant
It spices your vices with the help of Dionysis
It's not a floor wax

Do not taunt wine
posted by aydeejones at 1:02 PM on July 16, 2014

Great article.

He claimed ‘99 per cent’ of winemakers use flavoured syrups and powdered acids to keep tastes consistent from year to year.

I know a lot of winemakers and they all say this, but of course deny that they do it themselves.
posted by Dip Flash at 1:03 PM on July 16, 2014

Call me barbaric but I'm just fine with a glass or two of Two-Buck Chuck with dinner. Oddly enough I'm more of an enthusiast about beer than I am about wine.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:20 PM on July 16, 2014

Greg_Ace, you are a barbarian. If you have the means, try moving up to the $4-5/bottle range and Trader Joe's, and experience the greatest marginal return you'll ever get from a wine-buying dollar.
posted by The Gaffer at 3:30 PM on July 16, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm guessing the return will indeed be marginal, but I'm willing to give it a shot for science.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:46 PM on July 16, 2014

Also, I may be barbaric but I'm not a barbarian. ;-)
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:46 PM on July 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

Its probably closer to 99% of volume consumed rather than 99% of wine makers.
posted by JPD at 7:14 PM on July 16, 2014

I figure the way to go is to get a decent bottle for drinkin' wine, and a cheap bottle for drunkenin' wine.
posted by Grimgrin at 8:55 PM on July 16, 2014

Call me barbaric

Well, do you drink it mixed with water, or unmixed?
posted by the man of twists and turns at 8:10 AM on July 17, 2014 [1 favorite]

Lotsa big ol' ice cubes in it!* I mean hey, it's summer and all...

*(Note: I do not actually do that)
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:19 AM on July 17, 2014

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