I love tortoises, and I love to crochet.
October 24, 2014 4:07 PM   Subscribe

 
While they are well executed and quite cute, they are only on the turtles for the photos right? My understanding of turtle locomotion is that they essentially drag themselves along the ground, right? Wouldn't the belly band cause them some discomfort? Or am I over-thinking a bowl of mock turtle soup?
posted by Splunge at 4:45 PM on October 24, 2014 [2 favorites]


Turtles walk on their legs. No turtles were harmed in the making or wearing of these cozies!
posted by DarlingBri at 5:01 PM on October 24, 2014


Tortoise ground clearance is dependent on make, model and year. Some do indeed drag but many are well-suited to clambering over rocks, branches, etc. I would hope Ms. Bradley knows her species and would know whether a delightful birthday cake or fetching faux fruit would pose an obstacle to locomotion, and could suggest an option of perhaps a finer gauge belly band.
posted by kinnakeet at 5:06 PM on October 24, 2014 [12 favorites]


This really makes me miss Regretsy.
posted by GoLikeHellMachine at 5:19 PM on October 24, 2014 [5 favorites]


This knitter came to scoff, but stayed to be delighted.
posted by SLC Mom at 5:20 PM on October 24, 2014 [7 favorites]


Bat turtle!
posted by roger ackroyd at 6:05 PM on October 24, 2014 [1 favorite]


I was hoping there would be one of Danny Trejo's severed head.
posted by cazoo at 6:10 PM on October 24, 2014 [16 favorites]


Apparently she also made 1,500 turtles cozy.
posted by JHarris at 6:26 PM on October 24, 2014 [6 favorites]


Ok I tried to hate this but oh look! They're little dinosaurs and lady bugs and ohmygod it's a tiny birthday cake!!! Squeeeeee!!
posted by sio42 at 6:41 PM on October 24, 2014


THIS IS NOT REGRETSY MATERIAL IT'S AMAZING GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE
posted by valrus at 6:43 PM on October 24, 2014 [15 favorites]


Finally a cool Xmas gift for our pet turtle, normally he just gets a few crickets.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 7:16 PM on October 24, 2014


I didn't try to hate this, but I was charmed anyways. I did for some reason initially imagine it was for wild turtles, like those sweaters for penguins, and was somewhat puzzled.
posted by jeather at 7:29 PM on October 24, 2014 [1 favorite]


I think these are lovely. The tortoises take better to the sweaters than our cat.
posted by arcticseal at 7:35 PM on October 24, 2014


I now desperately miss my turtle. (Who is a very happy and well looked after, I am told. ) Yes, I check up on my former pet turtle. I very sadly had to give her up- to a really, really cool family who dig her dancing at least as much as I did.

She is a ballerina, and I would have loved to have gotten her a tutu. Maybe I will, anyway.

I love this woman and her wonderfully weird fiber arts.
posted by metasav at 7:35 PM on October 24, 2014 [4 favorites]


THIS IS NOT REGRETSY MATERIAL IT'S AMAZING GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

Someone forget to take his medications today?

I took a poll of all the tortoises on the planet and they unanimously voted to retro-Regretsy this ish.
posted by GoLikeHellMachine at 7:41 PM on October 24, 2014 [1 favorite]


Metasav, I heartily endorse your desire to buy your former turt a tutu. Please do so, photograph her and post links.

All of MetaFilter will thank you.
posted by BlueHorse at 7:59 PM on October 24, 2014 [1 favorite]


I was hoping there would be one of Danny Trejo's severed head.

This implies Danny Trejo can 1) be killed and 2) permit being mocked from beyond the grave and 3) Even if points 1) and 2) are true, he would kick so much ass imbuing his might into his be-cozied tortoise host to save us all.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:59 PM on October 24, 2014 [3 favorites]


I was imagining turtle-shaped cozies for, well, for stuff, and that somewhere over the horizon brewed an epic turtle-vs-octo yarn battle with Mrs. Pterodactyl.

These are pretty cool, too, though.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 8:43 PM on October 24, 2014 [1 favorite]


But how could we really know if, subjectively, the turtles really are cozy?
posted by newdaddy at 9:57 PM on October 24, 2014 [2 favorites]


... normally [our pet turtle] just gets a few crickets.

I'd be willing to bet good money that, as with humans, "food goodies" trumps "homemade sweater from well-meaning person" any day of the year.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:29 AM on October 25, 2014 [5 favorites]


do sweaters work on ectotherms? this is a serious question!
posted by atoxyl at 12:40 AM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


I can't be the only one who couldn't help but laugh at police car turtle and how you only know there's an actual turtle there from the rounded shape of his sweater.
posted by lullaby at 5:22 AM on October 25, 2014 [5 favorites]


This makes me wish I had a turtle, though I don't know what I would make it into.
posted by limeonaire at 1:14 PM on October 25, 2014


Oh my god. Christmas presents achieved.

(For all the people I know with pet turtles, which is, um, one person.)
posted by lollusc at 6:58 AM on October 26, 2014


So this is incredible but I'd imagine they'd get poopy and gross pretty quickly. Maybe that's how the 1500 came about.
posted by Sayuri. at 8:48 AM on October 26, 2014


In related turtle news... maybe this one needs a tutu.

But seriously, is there a reason (aside from unadulterated happiness at bathing) why this turtle is doing this? Who are the herpetologists around here?
posted by ikahime at 12:37 PM on October 27, 2014 [1 favorite]


I don't know, but man. Someone put a beat to that dance.
posted by JHarris at 1:48 PM on October 28, 2014


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