WHY MAUREEN WHY
October 25, 2014 7:54 AM   Subscribe

 
WOT
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:04 AM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


BUT PPL WILL SEE
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:04 AM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


I DON'T REMEMBER
posted by Room 641-A at 8:09 AM on October 25, 2014


KEV IT’S QUICKER THIS WAAGHBLUUP is my new credo.
posted by argonauta at 8:10 AM on October 25, 2014


I have a couch where the cushion is always in a state of slowly siding off until it looks like the couch is a party guest who has had too many and is becoming increasing recumbent as the night progresses.
posted by The Whelk at 8:10 AM on October 25, 2014


I am already a little tired of the various iterations of this, but the Limbooooooooooooo agh ow one made me laugh. +1 for captions, would snort tea up my nose again.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 8:16 AM on October 25, 2014 [11 favorites]


BARBARAAAAAAA
posted by Going To Maine at 8:18 AM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Those couches have been following us home from our debauched bookclub nights and listening TO ALL OUR CONVERSATIONS.
posted by taff at 8:21 AM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


The tree in the "GO AWAYYYY" pic makes me feel there should also be a "DRUNK TREES" tumblr.
posted by obfuscation at 8:22 AM on October 25, 2014 [4 favorites]


The best thing about having drunk furniture rather than drunk friends is that your drunk furniture never drunk-dials you at 3 am.
posted by drlith at 8:33 AM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


oh if only that were true
posted by kyrademon at 8:42 AM on October 25, 2014 [16 favorites]


This is hilarious, but as my S.O. pointed out it seems to indicate the UK has a crazy epidemic of people throwing loveseats into rivers. y/n?
posted by psoas at 9:00 AM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


Definitely prefer drunk j crew
posted by oceanjesse at 9:05 AM on October 25, 2014 [13 favorites]


I like the part where every caption gets repeated under the picture, just to make sure it's understood.
posted by davelog at 9:10 AM on October 25, 2014


Which one was let go after the Pee Wee Herman show got cancelled?
posted by buzzman at 9:28 AM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Reprinting the captions as text makes the text more visible to search engines. In case in six months you're wondering where you read I DEFINLY DROPD IT HERE IT WAS A TWENTYYY.
posted by JHarris at 9:29 AM on October 25, 2014 [6 favorites]


I think it's terrible. These couches have obviously had a hard go of it in life and now, when they're at their lowest point, someone takes their photo and posts it on a so-called "humorous" tumblr? What's that rule of comedy we're always talking about? "Punch up?" Not cool, guys. Not cool.
posted by redsparkler at 9:37 AM on October 25, 2014 [27 favorites]


YEH ILL GET BACK IN THE CAR INA MINNIT

SHE'S GONNA LUV MY NEW UPHOLSTRY

SHOPPING CART WHHHEEEEEE
posted by sylvanshine at 9:40 AM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


Not cool, guys. Not cool.

Maybe an old rug wrote it. You don't know.
posted by hat_eater at 9:42 AM on October 25, 2014 [6 favorites]


I laughed and laughed... but there is the problem where waste drives me crazy.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 10:41 AM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


I actually wrote a short article about this issue for a local publication. I spoke with the local by-law folks, and the people who run the waste program for the regional district.

Apparently, the worst time for abandoned couches (which was not a problem here 25 years ago) is at the end of university in April and May as students pick up and leave.

In the past you could through out any old thing at the local municipal yard on Saturdays, including furniture. Now everything has to be recycled, right down to kitchen scraps and of course, couches.

It costs about $50 to tip a couch at the yard nowadays, $50 that students don't usually have. On top of that you've got to get the damn thing to the dump, which means renting a truck.

So the stupid things end up on the side of the road, where public works staff have to pick them up anyway. Things will only get worse, the yards folks told me, as new recycling laws coming down the pike will mean the couches themselves will have to be broken down into the constituent materials - wood, metal, plastic, fabric.

The lesson? Never buy a couch.

Anyway, dumping is a major problem these days where I live. People just leave shit out on the sidewalk in hopes someone will find some value in it. This could be clothes hangers or half-eaten boxes of Corn Flakes.

The city works crews hate picking it up, because they're not paid to do it, and will get hassled by their managers for getting behind schedule.
posted by Nevin at 11:33 AM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


Maybe an old rug wrote it. You don't know.

It took me a while to get that. God, I'm slow.

The lesson? Never buy a couch.
My life choices have been validated.

(I would crack jokes about how leaving this stuff outside let's homeless people sit somewhere, but I fear no one would get it and that would turn into a shit show. I sure as hell am never going to sit on some nasty piece of furniture left by the side of the road.)
posted by Michele in California at 11:47 AM on October 25, 2014


Bedbugs.
posted by sneebler at 12:36 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


NO YOO GOT BEDBUGS MEREDITH
YOO GOT THE M
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:51 PM on October 25, 2014 [6 favorites]


I'd drink too if some asshole was sitting on me farting all day.

(I am the farting asshole)
posted by srboisvert at 12:54 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Don't all assholes fart, at some point?
posted by MikeKD at 1:39 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


It costs about $50 to tip a couch at the yard nowadays, $50 that students don't usually have.

Not in the UK, though. It's free here. In the UK our students are just feckless, lazy toerags, as God, Nature and the Queen intended them to be.
posted by howfar at 4:38 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Damn, I just deleted all of my old photos of alley furniture the other day. They come in handy when braindead managers/owners of neighbouring apartment buildings try to drag their disgusting couches and mattresses to our dumpsters, so that we end up having to get rid of them.

I had a great one of a stained mattress half slumped down against the bin, with a couple ratty armchairs surrounding it. Some upstanding citizen had spray painted a huge set of cock'n'balls on the mattress. Perfect caption: HEHEH WAIT TIL HE WAKES UP
posted by CKmtl at 5:44 PM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


Nothing Really Mattress.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:53 PM on October 25, 2014 [5 favorites]




AND THRU IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAALL
SHE OFFERSME ATENTSHUN

Brilliant. That is the best song to sing while drunk, and lying half over a wall beside a bin is the best place to sing it.
posted by billiebee at 4:02 PM on October 26, 2014 [2 favorites]


which was not a problem here 25 years ago) is at the end of university in April and May as students pick up and leave.

The university town in Santa Barbara, Isla Vista, actually has a law stating that is illegal to burn couches on the street. We were horrified at freshmen parent orientation a few years back that such a statute should be necessary.

It was a bit of a party town.
posted by SLC Mom at 6:03 PM on October 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


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